Glass Blowing Jokes

12 glass blowing jokes and hilarious glass blowing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about glass blowing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Glass Blowing Short Jokes

Short glass blowing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The glass blowing humour may include short float glass jokes also.

  1. At a previous job, one of my coworkers would always threaten to leave and just blow glass for a living. My boss would always respond: I'm gonna change my name to Glass.
  2. Dave went to an optician and said, "I think I need new glasses, these are blurry." The optician replied, "If you're going to clean them with your handkerchief, do it before you blow your nose."

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Glass Blowing Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about glass blowing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean broken glass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make glass blowing pranks.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar...

... and each order a beer. As the beers are set down on the table three flies fly into the bar and land in the beer, one in each glass. The Englishman pushes his beer away and orders another. The Irishman blows the foam off the top of his beer along with the fly and drinks the beer. The Scotsman picks up the fly by the wings and says "Alrright ya wee bastarrd, spit it out."

A man is looking for a p**...,

He comes across a woman who says she can give a guy head while singing.
The man says "I'll give you $50, just tell me how you do it."
"No," she replies "Just let me do it."
He agrees.
They go into a hotel room and she starts blowing him while singing away.
The man says, "Turn on the lights and let me see how you're doing that."
She replies "Hold on, let me put my glass eye back in."

a young man walks into a bar

A young man walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of his cheapest whiskey.
As the bar tender is lining up the shot glasses and is pouring "what's the occasion"?
The young man replied "I just experienced my first b**...".
"So you celebrating"? asked the bar tender.
No... just trying to kill the taste.

So one time this chick is going down on me,

and I give her the "courtesy tap" because I'm about to blow. She just keeps on going and I'm like, "I hit the jackpot here!" So I finish, and she leans back and picks up a glass off the coffee table and spits in it.
I was like, "Wow, that was *hot*.
She says, "Well, I don't s**...."
I say, "Well, that'd be weird if you told me you were waitin' for it to cool off.."
Stole it from somebody way funnier than me.

Guy walks into a bar…

Guy walks into a bar…
Orders 5 shots of tequila shoots them one after the other.
Bartender says Are you celebrating?
Guy says Yup! Had my first b**...!
Bartender says Congrats! Here is one on the house.
Guy shoots it, says Six shots of tequila and i still can't get the taste out of my mouth
Next day guy comes back to the bar and orders a tall glass of water.
Bartender says What happened, you were in here last night celebrating and having a great time
Guy yeah, I went home last night and blew chunks
Bartender Well, as much as you drank, not surprised
Guy you don't understand, Chunks is my dog…"

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink...

The bartender looks at him and says" See that woman over there, she will give you a b**... and sing the National Anthem at the same time".
"No way" the guy says.
"Oh yeah, and she only charges $20".
So he walks over and hands her a $20. She takes him into a back room and shuts off the light.
As she starts to give him head, she also starts to sing. He couldn't believe it, the words came out so clear that it was impossible.
Just after he finished, he quickly flicked on the light and saw her popping in her glass eye.

A one-eyed girl walks into a bar...

After a short while she sneezes, and her glass eye flies out of its socket.
The guy sitting next to her manages to grab it and hands it back to her.
"Thanks," she says.
So they start talking, and she winds up taking him back to her apartment. She makes him a terrific dinner, then gives him a night of the most mind-blowing s**... he's ever had. Finally she makes him a huge breakfast the next morning.
The man is happy, but he still feels the need to ask "Do you do this for every man you meet?"
"No. You just happened to catch my eye."

So three ducks have to go to court

First duck walks in. Judge asks "What's your name?" The duck replies "Quack, sir." So the judge continues "OK, what'd you do?" And the duck responds "I was blowing bubbles in the pond." "50 dollar fine, you may go."
Next duck walks in. "OK, what's your name?" "Quack Quack sir." "OK, and what'd you do?" The duck also responds "I was blowing bubbles in the pond." "50 dollar fine, same as the last one. You may go."
Last duck walks in. The judge peers over his glasses as him, and says "Don't tell me. Your name is Quack Quack Quack." And the duck replies "No. I'm Bubbles."

A cat in a rainbow afro wig is driving a train

and things are not going well, he's blowing switches, picking up speed and will almost certainly c**... into the town at the bottom of the hill. A police officer sees this hops in her car and chases after the train. Through a daring twist of events the police officer manages to dive onto the train after crashing her car into the river below. When she gets to the engine room she sees the cat is wearing Groucho Marx glasses, and is blowing into a tube that causes its' polka-dotted bow-tie to spin while making a whistle-ish sound. The police officer looks ahead and sees she has only moments to stop the train. Her instincts kick in, she pulls the brake and the train stops inches from crashing into the town and killing thousands.

The moral of the story is a copper is a much better conductor then a silicate.

A Priest and a Rabbi are driving towards each other on the highway...

When all of a sudden a tire blows out on the Rabbi's car and they c**... into each other head on. They both get out of the vehicle and by some miracle they both suffer no injuries while both cars are wrecked beyond belief.
the rabbi says "wow this really must of beens god's work to keep us both alive and unharmed"
priest " i know, even though we may have disagreements with some things, we both can agree that god is looking out for us"
the Rabbi goes over to the wreckage and sees a bottle of wine that managed to survive the c**... and says to the priest
"not only did we both come out unharmed so did this bottle of wine, it must be a sign from god to put aside our differences and reconcile over a glass of wine.
priest " i agree"
so the rabbi opens up the bottle and hands it to the priest. The priest takes the bottle and drinks about half and gives it back to the rabbi.
the rabbi goes " thats ok, i wont drink it till the cops come"