Glas Jokes
79 glas jokes and hilarious glas puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about glas that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Amusing & Witty Glas Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What is a good glas joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Glass with Water
This joke is said so many times, there must be some good variations. I want to know if you guys heard any.
Standard: There is a glass of water to the halfway point. People are asked to describe the glass.
Optimist: Half Full
Pessimist: Half Empty
Engineer: Glass is twice as big as it needs to be
Example Variation:
Mathematician: It depends on how the glass achieved it's current state. (Limits, anyone?)
A Glasgow girl goes to the Civic Center to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the civil servant?
"10" replies the girl.
"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"
"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec
"Doesn't that get confusing?" "
Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot playin in the street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed civil servant.
"'at's easy," says the girl... "Ah just use thur surnames"
Glass Shower Door Media
There are plenty of cleaning products that are available over the counter which can clean the glass, tiles and every other part of the shower. However, there are other ways to do shower glass door cleaning which you can do on your own. Here are some materials that you can find at home which can also work great for your shower.
Glass Shower Door Media
A Glaswegian takes his new girlfriend home to meet is father
"This is Amanda" the guy says
"It's a f*ckin what?" Replies his father
Why do glasses get so much attention?
They are always making a spectacle of themselves.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The glass ceiling is dangerous.
I can't believe they'd let a woman up there. (Credit to Raising Hope)
I have glasses but cannot see. I have feet but cannot walk. What am I?
A riddle.
Has anyone had a glass of F5 lately?
It's so refreshing.
Why are glasses required to do math?
because you need it for davision
I went to get myself a glass of punch but...
Everybody says I look better without my glasses, but I can't see it.
Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen.
What did the glass of water say to his son who is obsessed with becoming ice?
It's just a phase.
Meanwhile in Glasgie
People are panic buying nail polish, shoe polish, and even furniture polish.
There seems to have been a wee misunderstanding about which polish won't be in the UK soon.
I had to use my glasses when playing tennis.
Because its a no contact sport.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the glass-blower forced to retire?
He s**......
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I look better without my glasses
Or maybe it's just that I can't see how ugly I am in the mirror without them.
I think my glasses make me look ugly...
and so do my contacts
I look better with glasses on...
because it's the only time I can see my face.
I look better without glasses on...
because its the only time i can't see my face.
you came for 1 joke, you got 2
New glasses
"New glasses? They look super, man!"
Clark Kent begins to sweat.
Went to glasses shop to check my eyes,the worker told me I had estigmatism,I googled it....
Because I was blind on the subject.
Why did the glass finally crack?
It was badly tempered.
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Glas One Liners
Which glas one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with glas? I can suggest the ones about optimist and beaker.
- What do you call an urn from a concentration camp? A glas of jews.
- What did the man say to Usain Bolt when he broke some glas?
Stop it Jamaican a mess!
