Gladly Jokes
30 gladly jokes and hilarious gladly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gladly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Gladly Short Jokes
Short gladly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gladly humour may include short reluctantly jokes also.
- Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you, and be glad that you are alive? I did and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again...
- I'm glad the cave rescue is complete.... Now when I google thai boys I can get back to normal results
- I've managed 434 days, 12 hours, 47 minutes and 17 seconds of sobriety. I'm so glad alcohol doesn't dictate my life any more.
- Glad to see my Buddhist friends join and chant in the protests Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.
- The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed The label says the expiry date is June 2018.
I'm so glad they dug it up just in time - Interviewer: Is the glass half empty or half full? Applicant: It's completely full.
Interviewer: We'd be glad to hire you. Welcome to the Lays factory. - A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around? Yeah, the other cow says. Makes me glad I'm a penguin.
- I finally crossed running a marathon off my bucket list No chance I was ever going to do it, glad it's gone.
- I heard my son's girlfriend screaming "Oh God!" in his bedroom upstairs ... Im so glad he found a good religious girl.
- My son asked me if I was glad there wasn't an e in my name. I said, yes because otherwise I'd be dead.
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Gladly One Liners
Which gladly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gladly? I can suggest the ones about easily and kindly.
- The US has placed 18th for math… It sounds bad, I'm just glad we hit top ten.
- I heard 8/10 Americans are bad at math... Glad to know I'm in the other 2%.
- I'm glad I wasn't close to my dad when he died He stepped on a landmine
- Looking back, I'm glad I didn't get that YouTube internship I really dodged a bullet
- My wife is one of the clumsiest people I know. I'm so glad she fell for me
- I am really glad that No Nut November is over. A whole month without cashews was rough.
- Song you sing to your dad on Father's Day? Glad You Came.
- Hey gurl are you an integral? Because I'd gladly replace my x with u.
- I'm just glad eminem will never be a mass shooter He only gets one shot
- What's the loudest color? YELL-O!
(Orange ya glad I didn't say red?) - I'm really glad I finally got a saltwater aquarium It really tide the room together
- I read that 9 out of 10 Americans are bad at math I'm glad I'm one of the other 1%
- I'm so glad my wife took the car and the house from her first husband.
- I had to get a Mastectomy last year... Whew, glad I got that off my chest.
- I'm so glad I married a big strong program like WinRAR He can open all of my .jars!
Entertaining Gladly Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about gladly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean enthusiastically jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gladly pranks.
The owner of Bell Incorporated has just died...
The first in line to receive the inheritance is the owner's son, who gladly accepts it. However, the company lawyer says that he needs to take a photo of him for legal purposes. After developing the photo, he sends it off to the employees in the company to announce their new boss. He says "Here's the fresh prints of Bell heir".
Do you sell a book "How to get rich in three months"?
Clerk: "Yes we do sir, can I recommend another book with that, other buyers have found it very useful?"
Guy: "Of course, I would gladly take a look, what is it?"
Clerk: "Penal Code - Commented edition"
Give a man a hamburger . . .
you will feed him for a day. Lend a man a hamburger and he will gladly pay you Tuesday.
I felt horrible when I reacted to a deaf man "are you deaf?!"
Gladly he didn't hear that.
It was a beautiful summer day.
Birds were singing and a lovely smell of newly cut grass came along with the wind. I saw some gentlemen in the distance, all dressed up in fancy expensive clothing. One of them spotted me and started to wave and calling out my name. I gladly waved back at him, even though I had no idea who he was, but then it hit me...
That was the last time I went daydreaming on a golf course.
Signed,
Mr Fore
I would have gladly studied to become a theoretical physicist,...
but unfortunately, I'm allergic to B.S.
Rick Astley will gladly lend you any video in his collect... except one.
He's never gonna give you Up
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Arty
Joe is extremely angry and frustrated with his wife of 20 years and finally decides to find a contract killer to get rid of her. He knows this will cost more money than he has so he asks to borrow some funds from his best friend Arty. Arty surprises Joe by saying, "I have never liked your wife so I will gladly m**... her for only a dollar."
Later, Arty is hiding outside the grocery store where Joe's wife works and as she leaves he drags her behind the store into an alley and strangles her. Just as he is dragging her body behind some bushes, the store manager comes out and sees him. So Arty attacks the manager and strangles him as well. Again, as he hides the body, a clerk comes out of the store so Arty has to do the same thing one more time. By this time, with all of the commotion, the police arrive and discover what has happened. They arrest Arty and the next morning the headline in the town newspaper reads:
ARTY CHOKES 3 FOR A DOLLAR AT THE LOCAL MARKET
I don't suffer fools gladly.
I don't like the competition.
Texan in Ireland
A wealthy Texan is in a pub in Dublin and notices all the locals downing pint after pint of Guinness.
He makes an announcement."I'll gladly give $500 to any man who can drink 10 pints of that beer without stopping"
Everyone backs away from the bar and one man leaves the pub, altogether.
About 15 minutes later, the man who left the pub returns and says "I'll take you up on that challenge"
The bar keep lines up 10 pints of Guinness and everyone watches as the Irishman downs each one, hardly stopping to take a breath.
"Wow that was amazing!" exclaims the Texan "here's your money... but tell me one thing...why did you leave when I first made the offer?"
The Irishman wiped off his chin and said "I went to another pub to make sure I could do it."
A man walks into a doctor's office with stomach problems
The doctor runs some tests and tells the man it can be solved, but he has to take a suppository once a day for two weeks. The doctor inserts the first one to show the patient how it is done.
The next day the man is trying to insert the medication, but is too squeamish to do it. So he asks his wife to help. Gladly she says yes and the man bends over as the wife braces herself with one hand on his should and the other to insert the medication. As the wife is about to insert the suppository the man jumps up shock.
"what's wrong, did I hurt you?" asks the wife.
"No" said the husband "I just realized the doctor had both his hands on my shoulders when he gave me the medication"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pirate walks into a bar...
Disclaimer: I heard this joke from a friend at work. I've no idea where he heard it or if he happened to make it up. If someone could provide a source, I'll gladly edit the post.
~
A pirate walks into the bar and the bartender just stares at him. There's a paper towel stuck to his forehead. The pirate walks up, slams his hand on the counter and exclaims, "I need some r**...!"
Ignoring the paper towel for now, the bartender complies. After a few more rounds, the pirate's loud and obnoxious and having a great time in general.
At the request of the next round, the bartender complies once again, this time asking, "Alright, I just have to know. Are you aware there's a paper towel stuck to your forehead?"
The pirate nods and sigh dejectedly. "Aye, I've got a bounty on me head."
A bus driver sees old lady coming to talk to him...
and she has a handful of raisins.
-Would you mind to eat these raisins? I don´t like the taste of them,
The bus driver is confused but hungry and gladly accepts the offer. He starts again driving and after riding for 3 miles, the bus driver sees that the same old lady is there with a handful of raisins.
-You seemed to like the raisins. I have some more for you
The bus driver, still hungry, takes the raisins, thanks the old lady and continues driving. After 5 miles, he gets confused and starts to wonder what is going on, when the lady already third time comes to offer him the raisins.
-I have more of these raisins that you like. There you go
Now the bus driver just gets too curious and asks the lady why is she bringing him all the raisins?
-Oh you, I just wanted to be nice and offer you young worker something to eat. Besides, I only like to lick the chocolate on top of the raisins out, I otherwise hate raisins.
A man walks into a bar and orders two beers...
He then explained to the bartender "one of these beers is for me, and the other for my buddy that saved my live during the war who lives across the ocean." The bartender, honored by the veteran, gladly provides the beers and the man drinks them both.
Every Tuesday for fifty years this man would come to the same bar and order the two drinks. However, one night the man comes in, looking sad. He tells the bartender "Only one beer tonight please."
The bartender and the regular customers are shocked and saddened. The bartender brings him his drink and says "I'm sorry about your friend".
The man replies "Oh, my buddy is fine, I just converted to Mormanism."
