Giving Tuesday Jokes
10 giving tuesday jokes and hilarious giving tuesday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about giving tuesday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Giving Tuesday Jokes With Friends
Giving Tuesday Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good giving tuesday joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A man parks his car on the street and goes into a shop....
...When he comes out, the car is not where he left it and apparently was stolen. So he calls the police and hopelessly goes back home. Two days later, he finds his car at his front door, with a note left in:
I am very sorry but I had to borrow your car, because my wife was in labor and about to give birth and I had to act quickly. I deeply apologize and send these front-row concert tickets for you and your wife to enjoy this tuesday evening.
So the man and his wife go to the concert tuesday evening. When they return home, they realize someone broke in and the house was burgled. And a note was left on the floor: Soo, did you like the concert?
Sorry for the terrible grammar :D
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a t**... blonde giving quite a show to cars driving by in my neighborhood...
The garbage company told her to take her cans out by the side of the road on Tuesday mornings.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Warning about pick pockets
At the local supermarket, two young women are standing at the parking lot exit, asking for a lift.
Shortly after leaving the parking lot, they will start u**... each other and making out, before one of them offers to give you a b**..., while the other steals your wallet.
It happened to me monday, two times tuesday and again yesterday
A zookeeper is giving a chemist a tour of the zoo.
The zookeeper gestures at a fancy new building proudly and says to the scientist "This is our replacement 'Pachyderm Palace'. It's newly built, and is not fully accessible, so it's only in use on Tuesdays."
The chemist says "Ah, so it's a periodic stable for the elephants."
Give a man a hamburger . . .
you will feed him for a day. Lend a man a hamburger and he will gladly pay you Tuesday.
Remember, always give 100% of your effort at work
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Friday
My wife wanted me to give up poker night with the guys, so I talked her into joining a Bridge club.
She jumps next Tuesday.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New trick thief racket
Im just here to warn you, about this gang.
They appear on parking areas in front of supermarkets.
Seems like at the moment often at walmart.
2 very cute 18 - 20 year old girls will start to wash your car while you put your groceries in. They have barely clothes on, so you could see their underwear and even more.
If you offer money, they will say no and ask you if you instead can give them a ride to another supermarket. If you agree they get on your backseat and will start having s**... with each other while you drive. After a while they try to involve you. While one kisses you, the 2nd will steal your wallet.
Just wanted to tell you: Take care!
I got robbed this way on monday, tuesday, wednesday, twice on thursday and on saturday.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The young sailor
A young sailor prepares for his first deployment as sea. As this is his first deployment the captain calls him into his quarters to ask the man if he is ready for a life at sea, surrounded by s**..., and away from women. The sailor thinks for awhile and replies "Well Captain, I'd be a lying s**... if I did not admit that the thought of not having a woman for months at a time had not crossed me mind." The Captain gives a warm smile and leans in to tell the young man something of importance. Lowering his voice the Captain says "Aye, mate tis hard at sea indeed but we've got a little secret on this ship. Below the lower deck there's a secret room originally intended for smuggling. In that room you will find a barrel with a very unique hole. See it's a magic barrel we found near the Bermuda triangle. Just go below deck and use the barrel when you get a craven. Just don't go below deck on Saturday evenings or Tuesday mornings." Overjoyed the sailor leaves the Captains quarters and heads down below deck. He is amazed at the feeling from the barrel, it's magical how the timber forms together to give a warm, wet feeling.
After his use he returns to the Captains quarters to let him know he found the barrel. He says "Captain, I found the secret barrel and it is truly magical. I only have one question, why can't I use it Saturday evenings or Tuesday mornings?"
"Aye," Says the Captain, "Cuz that's yahr days in the barrel."
I Always Give 100%
20% on Monday, 20% on Tuesday, 20% on Wednesday...
Share These Giving Tuesday Jokes With Friends