Giving Thumbs Jokes
14 giving thumbs jokes and hilarious giving thumbs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about giving thumbs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Giving Thumbs Short Jokes
Short giving thumbs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The giving thumbs humour may include short all thumbs jokes also.
- My dead mom walks into a bar... The bartender says, "we don't serve ghosts here"
My mom in response gives the bartender a thumbs down and says, "Boooooooooooooooooo". - Everyone is criticizing the Saudis wanting to investigate a m**... that they themselves are accused of... But the Saudi Prince gives the investigation team four thumbs up!
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Giving Thumbs One Liners
Which giving thumbs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with giving thumbs? I can suggest the ones about finger thumb and giving.
- The Def Leppard show last night was great! I give it 9 thumbs up.
Amusing & Witty Giving Thumbs Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about giving thumbs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean thanks giving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make giving thumbs pranks.
Little Johnny walks in on his parents having s**........
his father sees him, but instead of saying anything, he gives Johnny a huge grin and thumbs up, then starts to really give it to the old lady. The next night, the father gets up to go to the restroom, and he hears noises coming from Johnny's room. He looks in the door, and Johnny is on top of his grandmother, really giving it to her. Johnny looks at his father, gives him a grin and says, "not so funny when it's your Mom, is it?"
A man walks into a bar
And sees a dog by the fireplace l**... its b**....
The man goes to the bar and orders his drink and says to the barman while pointing his thumb towards the dog and says ha, I wish I could do that
The barman replies give him a biscuit and he might let you
A boy walks in on his parents...
He sees his dad railing his mom from behind. His dad looks over at him and gives him a big thumbs up and continues on. After they finish, the mom says that he should check on the boy and see how he's doing. So the father goes downstairs and hears a weird noise coming from his room. He opens the door and sees his son ramming his grandma from behind, the boy looks over and says How do you like it when someone is doing this to your mom.
First time buying protection.
A young boy goes to the pharmacy to buy protection.
The pharmacist is a young, attractive girl. He asks her for a pack of condoms.
She gives it to him, but asks Why do you look so confused?
He says I've never used them before.
So she seductively rolls one onto her thumb to show him how to put it on. Now do you get it?
He still looks clueless. So she takes him by the hand and leads him to the storeroom in the back where they fool around.
After they finish, she moans Did you finally get how to use protection?
Yeah! He replies, and shows her his thumb.
What do you do with a 6ft a**...?
I man was late for work and speeding to his job. He came over the hill of a bridge and found himself in a speed trap. The cop pulls him over and walks up to his car.
Cop: sir why were you speeding?
Man: I'm late for work
Cop: what do you do that's so important you think you can speed?
Man: I'm an a**hole stretcher
Cop: "looking confused" what's an a**hole stretcher.
Man: I stretch a**holes
Cop: what, how??
Man: well you start with one thumb then two then your fist then two fist then you put in the machine and before you know it you got a 6ft a**hole.
Cop: WTH you do with a 6ft a**hole?
Man: you give him a radar gun and stick him at the end of a bridge.
My favourite taxi cab prank....
My favourite taxi cab prank.
First, approach the lead cab in a rank and ask if they can take you somewhere you want to go. However, explain that you don't have any money, but you will give them a b**... in recompense.
When they tell you to please, kindly, go away, walk to the next up the rank and ask the same.
Do this again at the third cab, and then at the fourth cab ask if they can take you to this place, but ask how much, when they tell you, agree and get in. Explain that the drivers in front didn't want to go to that part of town, or asked for too much.
As the cab pulls out and drives past the front three cabs, lean out the window, and give them all a big thumbs up and a wink.
Two Irish brothers are applying for Work Visas to Australia.
The first brother enters his interview, quickly walks out, gives a thumbs-up and says to his brother I'm in!"
The second brother takes this as a sure sign that he will join him, and walks confidently into his interview.
So Mr... Patrick O'Malley , the interviewer begins. What skills can you bring to Australia?
Patrick explains: Well, I'm a turf cutter. The best there is! My father was a turf cutter. His father was a turf cutter...
That's a shame , interrupts the interviewer. They don't really need turf cutters in Australia. There's just not that much turf.
But you let me brother in!
That's because your brother is a pilot. Pilots are high in demand.
Patrick cries: But if I don't *cut it*, he can't *pile it*!
Two Irish brothers are applying for working Visas to Australia.
The first brother enters his interview, and quickly walks out, gives a thumbs-up and says to his brother I'm in!
The second brother takes this as a sure sign that he will join him, and walks confidently into his interview.
So Mr... Patrick O'Malley , the interviewer begins. What can you bring to Australia's economy . Patrick explains: Well, I'm a turf cutter. The best there is! My father was a turf cutter. His father was a turf cutter...
That's a shame , interrupts the interviewer. They don't really need turf cutters in Australia. There's just not that much turf.
But you let me brother in!
That's because your brother is a pilot. Pilots are in high demand.
Patrick cries: But if I don't cut it, he can't pile it!
taxi cab
A businessman takes a vacation in Vegas. He has a horrible run of luck, and spends his life savings and maxes out his credit cards. All he has left is his airline ticket home.
Getting into a taxi, he explains his plight to the cabbie. He offers to leave his drivers license or anything else until he can mail the fare to the taxi driver.
"You ain't got ten bucks for the cab fare to the airport? Get out of my cab!" yelled the taxi driver.
The man walks to the airport, flies home, and for the next year, he works very hard, and builds back his fortune. He goes back to Vegas, and this time he wins big.
Feeling good about himself, he steps out of his hotel to leave for the airport. At the end of a long line of taxis, he sees the cab driver who refused to help him last year in his hour of need.
He immediately figures out a way to get even with this guy.
He gets into the first taxi and asks what the fare to the airport is. "Ten dollars." says the driver. He then asks how much for a b**.... "What? Get out of my cab."
He proceeds down the line of taxis repeating the process and getting the same results.
He finally gets into the cab with his old friend, and asks him how much to get to the airport. "Ten bucks," says the driver. "Good." he says to the driver.
And as they cruise past all the other drivers in their cabs, he gives them all a smile and a thumbs up.
A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport.
He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines.
The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport.
There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year.
The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a h**...."
The driver declines immediately.
The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing.
When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.