Git Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Red Neck Computer Dictionary

* LOG ON: Makin' a woodstove hot.
* LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
* MONITOR: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
* DOWNLOAD: Gittin' the farwood off the truck.
* MEGA HERTZ: When you're not keerfull gittin' the farwood.
* FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much farwood.
* RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
* HARD DRIVE: Gittin' home in the winter time.
* WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside.
* SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's black fly season.
* BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.
* CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.
* MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
* MODEM: Whutcha do to the hay fields.

Girls who say I can't commit...

...obviously haven't seem my Git repositories.

Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog?

He wanted to git a long little doggy.

What does a West Virginia woman say after sex?

Git off me Pa, you're squishing my smokes.

One of them Deevorces

A backwoods country bumpkin goes to his lawyer and says, "Sir, I wanna git mahself one uh them thar deevorces."

The lawyer says, "Ok, well, you need grounds for a divorce."

The farmer says, "I has grounds sir, a hunderd an fitty acres of it."

The lawyer says, "No, I mean, you need a case!"

The farmer says, "I has one-uh them too! Keep mah doc-u-mints in it!".

The lawyer says, "No.... No.... You need a to file a suit."

The farmer says, "Sir, I has the suit, wear it tah church err'y Sumday."

The lawyer sighs. "Ok, let me put it to you this way... Is your wife a nagger?"

The farmer says, "No sir, wife's a white woman, 'bout 5 feet tall... Had herself a nagger baby though..."

"Git yer cotton pickin hands off a my gin."

-Eli Whitney

Some pesky insects into my house today. I told them to "git out" and they scared me by speaking.

They said, "git: 'out' is not a git command. See 'git --help'"

Why did the open source code project owner cross the road?

To git to the other side.

What happens if you can't git gud?

You git guide.

Cajun good news and bad news

Thibodaux walks up to Boudreaux and says, "Boudreaux, I've got some good news and some bad news; which do you want to hear first?" Ol Boudreaux replies, "Told me the bad news, den the good news cheer me up!" "Well git holt of yourself; we found your wife, dead, floating down the bayou."

"Oh my ya!" Boudreaux cries. "Das horrible!!! What could possibly be de good news????"

Thibodaux replies, "Well, when we pulled her out the bayou, we found 4 or 8 blue crab on her.... We're gonna run her again in the morning!"

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?

Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

What's the favorite sex position of Git users?

Revert cowgirl.

Wenn ist das NunstΓΌck git und Slotermeyer?

Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

What are the funniest git jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Git? Well, here are the best Git puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Git pick up lines to share with friends.


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