The Best 44 Girls First Time Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Girls First Time jokes. There are some girls first time schoolers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these girls first time guys puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Girls First Time Jokes and Puns

Me: If a blonde girl and brunette girl jumped off a cliff at the same time, who would hit the ground first?

Friend: I don't know, who?

Me: The brunnete, the blonde had to ask for directions.

A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous.



When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense.

"Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?"

The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes.

So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch.

"Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."

The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time.

The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach.

Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"

Girls First Time joke

An amateur golfer playing in his first tournament

was delighted when a beautiful girl came up to him after the round and suggested he come over for a while. The fellow was a bit embarrassed to explain that he really couldn't stay all night but that he'd be glad to come over for a while. Twenty minutes later they were in he bed making love. When it was over, he got out of bed and started getting dressed.

"Hey," called the girl from beneath the covers, "where do you think you're going? Arnold Palmer wouldn't leave so early."

At that he the golfer stripped off his clothes and jumped on top of her. After they'd made love a second time, he got out of bed and put his pants back on.

"What are you up to?" she called. "Jack Nicklaus wouldn't think of leaving now." So the golfer pulled off his pants and screwed her a third time, and afterward he started to get dressed.

"C'mon, you can't leave yet," protested the girl. "Tiger Woods wouldn't call it a day."

"Lady, would you tell me one thing?" asked the golfer, looking at her very seriously. "What's par for this hole?"

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with sex.

Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.

Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"


The bride asks her husband

The bride asks her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Hot girl at prom

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

Girls First Time joke, Hot girl at prom

A couple were having sex for the first time

The girl starts to complain. Girl: Why didn't you tell me you have a small guitar? Boy:Because you didn't tell me I would be performing in a hall

My friend lost his virginity to a disabled girl

He said he wanted his first time to be special.

So I had sex with a condom for the first time

It was good. But I still prefer doing it with girls.

First time at the gynecologist

It's a girl's first time at the gynecologist. She's up in the
stirrups, and she's very nervous.

The gynecologist says, "You're scared, aren't you?"

She says, "Yes. It's my first time at the gynecologist."

He says, "Would you like me to numb you down there?"

She says, "Please."

He goes (sticking nose in her lap), "Num, num, num, num..."

You can explore girls first time dudes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean girls first time told dad jokes. There are also girls first time puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I just moved in to a new flat with two girls...

I just moved in to a new flat with two girls, it's been a bit of a nightmare to be honest. The first one has really bad OCD, whenever she goes in to a room she has to turn the light switch on and off 17 times. That's nothing compared to the other one, she's got epilepsy

So... the girl I lost my virginity to was retarded.

I wanted my first time to be special.

Did you know Chewbacca got a girl pregnant the first time he had sex

It was a Wookie mistake

The first time I got up close and personal with a girl was round the back by the school bins.

In hindsight, I wish I hadn't looked into that rubbish bag.

Who's your daddy?

A father's daughter brought home her prospective fiancee

It was the first time he'd met him and he took the opportunity to quiz him a bit

"So, what do you do for a living?" he asked

"I have no job" he replied

"Really? Well how do you expect to provide for my daughter?"

"God will provide, I'm sure" was the answer from the intended

"And how exactly will he do that then?"

"God is merciful and will ensure we do not want" he said with all sincerity

"And how about if you have kids? Who looks after you then?"

"God will ensure he provides bounty for the whole family"

"OK, so you say, but exactly how will God provide this?"

"I don't know yet. God will move in his own mysterious ways"

At this point, the father gives up and leaves the house fuming, heading straight for the bar. there he meets his friend Dave who asks,

"What's up friend? You seem troubled"

"Well, I've just met my girl's new fiancΓ©"

"Oh man, bad news?"

"Well, on the plus side, he does at least seem to think I'm God..."

Girls First Time joke, Who's your daddy?

I dated a girl, she later revealed she had a son and he would always come first.

Don't worry I told her, in my family we all used to come at the same time.

Girl: "My first time having sex was a lot like the 100 metre dash..."

Boy: "What, over in ten seconds?"

Girl: "No, eight black men and a gun."

I went to a bulimic birthday party.

First time I've seen the cake come out of the girl.


So I had a friend with a stutter.

She told me that she has trouble dating. Curious, I asked her why. She said that she keeps putting out on the first date. When I asked why she tells me this; "Well whenever things get heated, I try to tell them that I'm not that type of girl. Unfortunately, by the time I'm done telling them that, I am."

I lost my virginity to a mentally disabled girl last night

I wanted my first time to be special.

A Russian grandpa arrives at German airport

He goes to the young girl who is in charge of border control and she asks after checking the passport

"Good morning, First time in Germany?"

"First time I'm visiting my son who lives here, but I've been here before"

"Weird, your passport doesn't have a stamp on it, How did you arrive last time?"

"T-34, I was the gunner"

What did the suicide bomber say when he saw a naked girl for the first time?

Nothing. He just exploded.

Do you know what happened the first time Ed Sheeran started flirting with a girl before he was famous?

She ran.

My girlfriend finally asked me who I've had sex with in all of my life

I held back nothing and told her about every one of them. My first, the girls in higschool, that one time with her friend back in college, until I got to her... I probably should've stopped there.

I couldn't be happier! For the first time in my life a girl told me she loves me.

Aren't moms great?

A girl is on a date at the town fair with a good looking guy.

He asks what do you want to do first. She replies "Get weighed". He says OK and they proceed to go to the scale. When they're done, he says "What do you want to do next?" She says "Get weighed". Once again she hops on the scale. Getting frustrated, the guy says one more time "What do you want to do next?" She replied "Get weighed" again. At this, the guy skips the rest of the fair and drops the girl off at her house. Her mom comes out and says "How was your date?" The girl replies "Wousy".

When I meet a girl for the first time I shake hands with my left.

I don't want to intimidate her with the competition right away

For the first time in my life a girl told me she loved me

Arent moms great?

[NSFW] What do you call a guy who just went down on a girl for the first time?

A Clitourist.

I had sex with a retarded girl last night

i wanted my first time to be special

A guy and a girl meet for the first time...

Girl: Hi! My name is History.

Guy: What?

Girl: I'd rather not repeat myself.

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl.

you can say my first time was special.

I'm always scared that when a girl sees me naked for the first time, she's going to scream and run away

from the park

The first time I kissed a girl

Subscribe to pewdiepie before it's too late

My wife is Indian, i'm Hispanic, she's pregnant with a girl and we felt it kick for the first time today.

Guess we're having a kickin' chica masala.

So today I took Molly...

...On a date for the first time. Cool girl, will see her again.

What do you call a neckbeard asking out a girl for the first time and getting turned down?

A virgin experience

Today is an exciting day. For the first time in my life, a girl winked at me.

She must have been extra interested. She used both her eyes.

When did the Southern girl realize she was a lesbian?

After the first time her mom breastfed her

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

A woman had three daughters getting married the same day. Naturally she was worried about their sex life. It was agreed that they would send a discrete message.

Two weeks after the triple wedding the first message arrives. An ad for Maxwell House with the slogan "Good till the last drop." She's happy for her girl.

A month passes and a second message arrives with a Marlboro ad. "Marlboro: Extra long, extra strong." She's a little embarrassed, but happy.

Three months pass. She's really worried about her youngest when finally a message arrives. It's addressed in shaky handwriting and contains an ad for British Airways. "London to Paris: Seven days a week, three times a day, both ways."

She fainted.

Lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome

I wanted my first time to be special

Bless you son!!!

(Perhaps a repost, but I heard it for the first time. So here it goes)

A small boy talking to his mother while his dad sits nearby.

Boy: Mom, I want to marry 3 girls when I grow up.

Mom: 3 girls!! But why son?

Boy: One to cook food for me, one to do my laundry and one to clean my home.

Mom: Ohh ok... But which one will sleep with you?

Boy: (innocently) But of course you mom. I never want to sleep with anyone other that you.

Mom: Ohh bless you my son!!! You love mommy so much. But what will happen to the 3 wives of yours.

Boy: They can sleep with Dad.

Dad: Bless you son!!!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the girls first time great jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working girls first time schoolgirl piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes