Following is our collection of Girlfriend jokes which are very funny. There are some girlfriend cousin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these girlfriend sex puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
I lost Interest in that relationship.
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
A solid 10, but also imaginary.
I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.
"Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
Guess who came crawling back
"thespacebuttonisbrokenonmylaptop.canyougivemeanalternative"
Does anyone know what "ternative" mean?
I refused. If I'm going to have sex, its going to be on my own Accord
I thought, "Man, what a weird way to start a conversation."
He said, Why? Is she a stunner? I said, No, she's an optician.
You can explore girlfriend flatmate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean girlfriend fiancee dad jokes. There are also girlfriend puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.
She isn't sick, I just think she can get better
Everyone came, you should have seen her face.
So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
"And I love you tons" I replied.
"Wow fine, you don't have a nickname for me?" She said angrily.
Sometimes I swear the fat cunt's going deaf.
"Whatever means necessary," she replied.
"No it doesn't," I said.
My girlfriend insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know
She said "I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out," but she pulled some strings and got me in.
Me: "Ok, this isn't working out"
I grunted, Just ignore them.
It's like I've never seen herbivore.
I always knew he liked them young, but that is fucking ridiculous.
Thanks daylight savings!
Apparently, I was only supposed to name one, not two.
She couldn't do either!
Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. I think we should split up."
Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."
Well she's in for a shock.
She said "Yes!". I said "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."
It might seem judgemental, but I have only known her since she was Christine.
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it.
My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled "I'm arresting you for being too good in bed"
After two minutes she said she was dropping the charges due to lack of evidence.
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE NAMED 2 FRIENDS!
She was lack-toes intolerant.
I laughed and replied, "Don't be silly, he gave us women."
I forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.
She answered: "What's up, honey?"
What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone!
I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike.
She said "I bet we couldn't understand them"
I said "why do you think that?"
She said "because they probably only bark"
She then laughed the next half mile down the trail barking occasionally and saying "shh, shh, do you hear that? Thats a tree talking in the distance"
Feyónce
Oh wait, she's back. She just went to the bathroom.
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
That really ruined our 10 year anniversary.
.... so I poked her in the eyes.
But today is opposite day so it's all good
If she fits in your wife's clothes.
It's getting less funnier each day I tell her.
... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.
Her: "I just need time."
Me: "Okay. Yeah, I understand."
Her: "And distance, as well."
Me: "Fine. But can I ask you one last question?"
Her: "Go ahead."
Me: "What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?"
...I can't pull anything out in time!
She found another girl's lipstick on his fist.
Try to act surprised
I rode on, ruthlessly.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girl friend is disabled. Now we wait.
She said something about 'waiting until they're born'
I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend
She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
Space x.
Im indiana Jones, Get out
She says Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.
Out of nowhere, her sexy sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks Do you want to have sex before she gets back?
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you.
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
Looks like I'm gonorrhea-valuate the relationship
She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."
I asked her: "What do you think it means?"
She smiled and said: "I don't know..."
Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.
I still don't know why she didn't like this book called 'Dreams and their Meanings'.
Guy: But doctor that can't be right. We use condoms everytime we have sex.
Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. Maybe the condom broke?
Guy: No I'm sure it didn't.
Doctor: Alright then. Let me tell you a story. A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger. The tiger died.
Guy: That can't be right. Someone else must have shot the tiger.
Doctor: Exactly.
Apparently off-shore drilling is prohibited.
It's not like I did anything
In my defense it was doggy style so it's more like 14 minutes.
Because every time I take them she goes away
I had them meet my new black girlfriend and they all started screaming at us. Especially my wife.
to be able to post this in a different sub.
I should've seen the signs.
"You're on" I said.
And other hilarious jokes i can tell myself.
That's when I really had to put my foot down.
Actually I've been seeing less and less of her.
"what is this?"I asked
"What does it look like?"
"It looks like a lez on ya!"
I hear my phone that I left in the kitchen get a text, so I get up to look...
It came from the GF: *"Please bring the chips on your way back".*
That'll teach her
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the girlfriend football girlfriend jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working girlfriend ex girlfriend piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.