Following is our collection of funny Girlfriend jokes. There are some girlfriend cousin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these girlfriend girlfriend boyfriend puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
I lost Interest in that relationship.
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
A solid 10, but also imaginary.
I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.
"Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
Guess who came crawling back
"thespacebuttonisbrokenonmylaptop.canyougivemeanalternative"
Does anyone know what "ternative" mean?
I refused. If I'm going to have sex, its going to be on my own Accord
I thought, "Man, what a weird way to start a conversation."
He said, Why? Is she a stunner? I said, No, she's an optician.
You can explore girlfriend flatmate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean girlfriend fiancee dad jokes. There are also girlfriend puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.
She isn't sick, I just think she can get better
Everyone came, you should have seen her face.
So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
"And I love you tons" I replied.
"Wow fine, you don't have a nickname for me?" She said angrily.
Sometimes I swear the fat cunt's going deaf.
"Whatever means necessary," she replied.
"No it doesn't," I said.
My girlfriend insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know
She said "I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out," but she pulled some strings and got me in.
Me: "Ok, this isn't working out"
I grunted, Just ignore them.
It's like I've never seen herbivore.
I always knew he liked them young, but that is fucking ridiculous.
Thanks daylight savings!
Apparently, I was only supposed to name one, not two.
She couldn't do either!
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE NAMED 2 FRIENDS!
I forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.
She answered: "What's up, honey?"
What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone!
FeyΓ³nce
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
That really ruined our 10 year anniversary.
.... so I poked her in the eyes.
But today is opposite day so it's all good
If she fits in your wife's clothes.
It's getting less funnier each day I tell her.
... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.
Her: "I just need time."
Me: "Okay. Yeah, I understand."
Her: "And distance, as well."
Me: "Fine. But can I ask you one last question?"
Her: "Go ahead."
Me: "What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?"
...I can't pull anything out in time!
She found another girl's lipstick on his fist.
Try to act surprised
I rode on, ruthlessly.
She said something about 'waiting until they're born'
I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend
Space x.
Im indiana Jones, Get out
She says Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.
Out of nowhere, her sexy sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks Do you want to have sex before she gets back?
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you.
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
Looks like I'm gonorrhea-valuate the relationship
She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."
I asked her: "What do you think it means?"
She smiled and said: "I don't know..."
Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.
I still don't know why she didn't like this book called 'Dreams and their Meanings'.
Guy: But doctor that can't be right. We use condoms everytime we have sex.
Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. Maybe the condom broke?
Guy: No I'm sure it didn't.
Doctor: Alright then. Let me tell you a story. A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger. The tiger died.
Guy: That can't be right. Someone else must have shot the tiger.
Doctor: Exactly.
Apparently off-shore drilling is prohibited.
It's not like I did anything
In my defense it was doggy style so it's more like 14 minutes.
Because every time I take them she goes away
I had them meet my new black girlfriend and they all started screaming at us. Especially my wife.
to be able to post this in a different sub.
But it's unfair to make a conclusion in 17 seconds
I saw it coming from a kilometre away
They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.
I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment.
Brian has a moustache.
Or did she?
There she was in her uniform β straightaway I knew she was a keeper.
I bet it's the snooty bitch at number twenty three, she replied.
I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and my wife and kids were very rude to her.
I just have to figure out how to break the news to her
What does 'ternative' mean?
Oh wait, she's back. I guess she just went to the grocery store.
Guy: Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection, and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
Doctor: Let me tell you a story: There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped in front of him. To scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy: Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion.
Doctor: Good! You understood the story. Next patient please.
I went golfing, and forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.
She answered: "What's up, honey?"
What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone!
I should've known sooner. There were red flags everywhere.
She reacted *very poorly* last night when I came out to her...
I replied i didn't know he could
"Do you think it will hurt?" I asked.
"Probably," she replied, "it will take many hours."
I said, "I meant being single."
Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance
"See that over there? What is that?" Says the first crow
The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it"
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?" Replies the first crow
"Look at it's hand. No cellphone" says the second crow
When I hold my ear up to it I can smell the ocean!
I thought she was joking at first.
And then I saw her faceβ¦
Most Redditors have had at least one cake day.
Because I'm lack toes intolerant.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the girlfriend fat girlfriend jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working girlfriend girlfriend & boyfriend piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.