Girlfriend Boyfriend Jokes
102 girlfriend boyfriend jokes and hilarious girlfriend boyfriend puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about girlfriend boyfriend that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Girlfriend Boyfriend Short Jokes
Short girlfriend boyfriend jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The girlfriend boyfriend humour may include short mean boyfriend jokes also.
- My girlfriend was really angry when I gave her a box of photos of all her old boyfriends for her birthday. I don't know why, she said she wanted an ex box.
- Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day." Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
- I asked my girlfriend if looks and money were important to her when choosing a boyfriend... she said "Clearly not."
:-( - My parents My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.
- Why do so many guys have crazy girlfriend stories but no girls have crazy boyfriend stories? Because all girls with crazy boyfriend stories are dead.
- What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? 30 pounds.
OK Ladies - if you didn't like that - what's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes. - I finally found a girlfriend! She was lost untill she found me. I'm glad I could give her a ride to her boyfriend's house.
- Girlfriend: "Honey, would you give me a ring on our wedding day?" Boyfriend: "Sure, what's your number?"
- I just saw a so called funny t-shirt which on the front says, I'm not gay , and on the back says, But my boyfriend is. So I asked my girlfriend to please not wear it anymore.
- A couple planning their weekend... Boyfriend: honey, i want to have a great weekend!
Girlfriend: yeah, me too! So see you on monday!
......
Share These Girlfriend Boyfriend Jokes With Friends
Girlfriend Boyfriend One Liners
Which girlfriend boyfriend one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with girlfriend boyfriend? I can suggest the ones about girl friend boy friend and sister boyfriend.
- No boyfriend = No problem No girlfriend = No expenses
- My girlfriend said I can become what ever I want... So I became her ex-boyfriend.
- They say 1 in 3 people cheat I don't know who to tell first my boyfriend or girlfriend
- I met a guy with a girlfriend in the arctic and a boyfriend in Antarctica... Bipolar
- Unlike all of you, I'm a loyal boyfriend I'll never cheat on my girlfriends!
- What question does the boyfriend ask the girlfriend the most ? Did it come yet ?
- FriEND, BoyfriEND, GirlfriEND... Only Communism doesn't have end... Stay safe kids
- Girlfriends taking about Boyfriends
- My girlfriend calls me eucalyptus Because she says I'm a koala tree boyfriend.
- :O Boyfriend: Am i a joke to you?
Girlfriend: Is that a rhetorical question? - What did the girlfriend, say to her boyfriend, when he showed up for sushi? Wha suh b?
- What did the girlfriend say to her midget boyfriend? Go up on me
Hilarious Girlfriend Boyfriend Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about girlfriend boyfriend you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean girlfriend & boyfriend jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make girlfriend boyfriend pranks.
Boyfriend: "ILY."
Girlfriend: "Can you please say the words? It makes it better."
Boyfriend: "I'm leaving you."
Boyfriend: "ILY."
Girlfriend: "Can you please say the words? It makes it better."
Boyfriend: "I'm leaving you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girlfriend walks out of the shower and says to her boyfriend, "Honey, I s**.
.. myself down there... Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only."
Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works.
"We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin."
The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin."
Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick."
The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left.
Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.
She was thrilled at the speed.
"If I do 200mph, will you t**... clothes?" he asked.
"Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.
And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over.
The n**... girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
"Go and get help!" he cried.
"But I can't. I'm n**... and my clothes are gone!"
"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."
Holding the shoe over her p**..., the girl ran down the road and found a service station.
Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup.
While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during s**...."
The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup.
While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during s**...."
The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup.
This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?"
The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend:
"
What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?"
"Well, I don't know" she answers shyly.
"OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
My girlfriend told me that will change me.
I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend's friend is my friend. My friend's girlfriend is my friend. My friend's boyfriend is just a s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had s**... before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and s**....
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.
She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you t**... clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The n**... girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm n**... and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her p**..., the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
A girlfriend decides to teach her boyfriend what 69ing is...
She proceeds to snitch him out to the police.
Blonde Breakfast Dilemma
A man watches as his blonde girlfriend comes downstairs to make breakfast.
At first she attempts to lift the stove, struggles, and sighs.
Next she tries lifting the microwave, again to no avail. Finally she lifts the toaster and smiles, makes toast and eats her breakfast.
This goes on for a couple of days before her boyfriend finally asks what in the world is going on.
The blonde replies, "My new medication doesn't allow me to operate heavy machinery and the toaster is the only thing I can lift."
Three Men Brag About Their Sons.
Three men are in a bar. They are talking about how great their sons are to their respective girlfriends. The first man says my son is an amazing pilot. He gave his girlfriend a plane as a gift he is the best. The second man says well my son happens to be a great carpenter he actually built his girlfriend a three story house. The final man says my son is gay but his boyfriend must really like him, he got a plane and a three story house from him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Duke!!
A new boyfriend is having dinner at his new girlfriends house. He walks in shakes hands with everybody, and then they sit down and begin eating. A few minutes into the meal, the boyfriend realizes that he really needs to f**..., really badly. He quickly glances around, and notices the family's dog, Duke, is sitting right next to him. He takes advantage of his good fortune, and quickly let's out his f**.... Everyone at the table stops eating, looks up, and says, "Duke!" Relieved, the boyfriend begins eating again.
Several minutes later, the boyfriend realizes that he has to f**... again. Luckily, Duke is still by his side, so he once again quickly let's his f**... go. "Duke!" the family cries once again. The boyfriend is now very pleased with himself that he is blaming Duke for the farts, and not getting blamed himself.
Several minutes pass, and once again, the boyfriend decides that he needs to let one rip. The boyfriend once again releases his f**..., and in reply the family shouts, "Duke, get away from him before he craps on you!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dinner with parents
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a
dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had s**... before, so he takes a trip
to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his
first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the
boy everything there is to know about condoms and s**....
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to
buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his
girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's
parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes,
and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over
and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious..'
The boy turns, and whispers back,
'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First time s**...
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to
meet, and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her
boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and
make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had s**... before, so he
takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the
boy everything there is to know about condoms and s**....
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and
all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house
and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come
on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was the pharmacist!"
A ghost couple were arguing...
"I don't believe a single word you tell me," the ghost girlfriend said to her ghost boyfriend, "I can see right through you!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl asks her boyfriend
A girl asks her boyfriend about how she looks.
" You said your first girlfriend was very pretty and your second girlfriend was quite ugly, what do you think about me"
"Well, says the boyfriend, I think you are a bit of both"
"How" She asks
He replies" I think you're pretty ugly"
Two of my favorite jokes by my favorite comedian
"Me and girlfriend..... we're not together anymore. She's got a new boyfriend now. They just moved in together. Actually, I've heard rumors that he's abusive, which kinda makes me want to go over there with a baseball bat...... and then blame it on her boyfriend."
"My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore.
When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head." - Anthony Jeselnik
A blonde calls her boyfriend...
One day a man gets a call from his blond girlfriend.
"Hey Babe!"
"Listen, I need you to come over right now! I'm doing a puzzle and I think it's supposed to be a tiger but I just can't figure it out, I've been doing it for hours..."
The boyfriend was a little confused, as she didn't seem the type to buy a puzzle... But it was clear she was upset, so he made the trip over. He walked in to her apartment and saw her sitting on the floor, a blue box overturned and all the pieces arranged in random circles on the floor.
He looked at her for a while without saying anything, then just sighed and said, "Sweetie, lets get all these frosted flakes back in the box..."
How did the girlfriend satisfy her secretly gay boyfriend?
I don't know, I guess she really had him pegged.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man offers a woman 100 dollars for s**....
He tells her "Excuse me miss, I will pay you 100 dollars if you have s**... with me."
The woman quickly responds saying "I won't have s**... with you for so little money. My boyfriend would be furious!"
The man then changes his offer "Okay how about this? I will drop the 100 dollars onto the floor. I can do whatever I want with you until you pick up 100 dollars. That seem fair?"
The girl says "Let me call my boyfriend and see what he thinks." The girl calls her boyfriend and tells her the deal he says "Yeah just pick it up, he won't even be able to get your pants off. Call me once you have it." The girl friend hangs up and agrees to the mans offer.
The boyfriend waits patiently at his phone for 15 minutes, then 30, then 40 and his girlfriend hasn't called him back. He calls his girlfriend and hears heavy breathing and yells "Why haven't you picked up the money yet?!"
The girlfriend exclaims "He had it in quarters!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Ring
A boyfriend and a girlfriend have been together for nine love-filled years. On the day of their 9th anniversary, they walk by the park of their first date and he gives her a little black box. The girlfriend is shocked and is holding back a big smile. As she opens it, she sees that it was only earrings. She proceeds to yell at him and say "We've been together nine years and still not married and you give me earrings?! Next year, you better come with a ring!"
Next year on their 10th anniversary, he takes her out to a fancy dinner and then they go back to his place to have some more wine and play some romantic music. They begin to have s**... on his bed and during s**..., she notices something poking at her more than usual but she ignores it. When he finishes, he asks her "Take off my c**...." Confused, she takes off the used c**... from him and looks inside with a squint and notices an engagement ring floating inside the c**...!
"I didn't forget what you said! I came with a ring!"
What'd I tell my boyfriend after he broke up with me?
"Now that I'm one of your ex-girlfriends, I look forward to you actually flirting with me now!"
A boyfriend says to his girlfriend, "Baby, you're kind of like Charles Barkley..."
"...You've been on the team for so long and you're still not getting a ring! Happy Valentines day!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A doctor has three patients lined up for breast exams...
The first comes in and takes her shirt off. The doctor sees a red letter "H" on her chest and asks what it is. She tells him "My boyfriend goes to Harvard and is so proud he keeps his sweatshirt on during s**... and the ink runs."
The next woman enters and disrobes, and there is a blue "Y" on her body. The doctor asks and she tells him how her boyfriend goes to Yale and is so proud he won't take his sweatshirt off, even during s**..., and the sweat caused a stain.
His last patient comes in, and she has a red "M" on her chest. The doctor thinks this new phenomenon is strange, but he knows a pattern when he sees it. He says to her, "Let me guess, you have a boyfriend that goes to Maryland, right?" "No," she replies, "I have a girlfriend that goes to Wisconsin, why?"
Flovers Joke
A man comes home with a bokay of flowers for his girlfriend and she says "I guess I'll have to spread my legs now." And her boyfriend asks "Why, don't you have a vase?"
God Will Provide
A young, very religious man goes home with his girlfriend to meet her parents for the first time. Her father is naturally very skeptical of the young man, and after dinner has a quick heart-to-heart with him.
"Now I know you are interested in marrying my daughter. She is the apple of my eye and I cannot trust her with just any man. My first question to you young man is how do you intend on providing for my daughter?"
"God will provide" he replied.
Not satisfied with this response, the father asked again "No seriously, how do you intend on taking care of my daughter?"
Again he said, "God will provide."
Realizing he wasn't going to get a better answer, the two exited the room. Later that night the father was talking with his wife while cleaning the dishes.
Mom asks "So how did your talk with our daughter's boyfriend go?"
Father goes, "Well...he thinks I'm God."
Blonde woman calls her boyfriend....
"Sweetie, I'm doing this jigsaw puzzle and can't figure it out, would you come and help me?" she says.
Boyfriend comes over, and asks "What is the puzzle of?"
"A rooster", she replies miserably, gesturing towards the table, "But I can't even figure out where to start."
Boyfriend looks at the table, takes his girlfriend by the hand and says "OK, let's sit down and have a cup of tea, and then we can start putting the cornflakes back in the box."
SNL Gold: Domestic Violence
A local county couple had an argument over a jar of salsa, which resulted in the girlfriend stabbing her boyfriend. But hey, you'd be mad too if he was jalpeno business.
Girlfriend: Tell me something to make me feel like a woman!
She said excitingly with a smile on her face..... tell me, tell me tell me she said as she wrapped her arms around her boyfriend but the boyfriend stands quietly..she says again come on tell me!
The boyfriend holds her close, looks deep into her eyes and then moves in closer and whispers: "you don't know how to park"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girlfriend asking her Boyfriend about her looks
Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girlfriend asks her boyfriend if he is ok with l**....
Apparently "Only in HD" was not the answer she wanted.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Boyfriend meets girlfriend's parents for the first time and does a f**... at the dinner table...
...thankfully the girlfriend's dad didn't hear it and upon smelling it shouts "Champ!" at their dog sat underneath the dinner table.
A little later the boyfriend really needs to f**... again, and since the parents are blaming the dog he decides he's safe to let another one out quietly. His girlfriend notices the side-lift action this time and gives him a knowing glare but, again, her dad just shouts "Champ!"
Like clockwork, a little later the boyfriend's bowels can't keep it in and once again he needs to f**..., and since the parents aren't noticing he just goes for another silent but deadly. This time the dad stands up and shouts "Champ! Will you get out from under there before he does a p**... on your head!!"
A married couple come to the marriage counselor...
A married couple come to the marriage counselor. The wife complains:
- We were having a perfect marriage until his girlfriend started dating my boyfriend..
This is how my day went...
1. woke up
2. met a girl
3. became attracted
4. boyfriend and girlfriend.
But, instead it went 2,3,4,1.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girlfriend and boyfriend are talking...
The girl says, "hey John, how do you spell p**...?'" He responds, "gosh honey, why do you need to know? That's an awfully big word for an 8 year old."
Boyfriend and Girlfriend
Boyfriend and Girlfriend are sitting in their apartment, the boy is playing Xbox One.
Boy: Why do you look so sad?
Girl: ...
Boy: Turns of his Xbox one.
Girl: Why did you stop playing?
Boy: Because there is something much better than my Xbox.....
Girl: *Blushes*
Boy: Turns on PS4.
My ex-girlfriends always come back to me.
To fix problems that their boyfriends can't fix.
A boyfriend and a girlfriend are taking on New Year's Eve
Girlfriend: What'cha doin'?
Boyfriend: Watching the ball drop on my laptop.
Girlfriend: Cool. What's your New Year's resolution?
Boyfriend: 1080p
Valentine's Day Gift
A young lady was caught napping one afternoon on Valentine's Day. She woke up when she heard the doorbell.
"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day," she said to her boyfriend. "What do you think it means?"
"You'll know for sure tonight," he replied.
That evening, the young man arrived with a small package and gave it to his girlfriend. Delighted, she opened it and found a book entitled "The meaning of dreams."
My mother said that I'm indecisive
I couldn't understand where that came from, so I asked people. "It's because you like both dogs and cats" said my boyfriend. "No, no, no. It's because she likes both tea and coffee" said my girlfriend.
Boy rockss
Boyfriend: Can you be the moon of my life?
Girlfriend: Awww Yes sweetheart...!
Boyfriend:Great!then stay 9,955,887.6 away from me..!! :P
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young couple had just finished having fantastic s**...
A young couple had just finished having fantastic s**.... Afterwards, the young woman looked in the box of condoms and saw that there were only six left out of the original twelve. She asked her boyfriend, What happened to the five other condoms?
He rather nervously and shiftily replied, Errmm, I m**... with them.
The next day the woman went to one of her male friends and told him what had happened. Then she said to him, Have you ever done that?
He replied, Yeah, a few times.
She said, You mean you've actually m**... with a c**... before?
Oh! he said, I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my girlfriend.
Son: Dad I just got a girlfriend.
Dad: Good work son.
Sister: Daddy I just got a boyfriend
Dad: *Load's Shotgun*.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girlfriend: "We're breaking up."
Boyfriend: "Why?"
Girlfriend: "You're always playing video games."
Boyfriend: "This is a s**... thing to *Fallout 4*."
All Credit goes to my friend
Today at the bar I told my girlfriend that she was cute...
She said: "I have a boyfriend".
A large car with chauffeur
A boyfriend is watching TV when his girlfriend walks into the room
Gf: "I want to go to the mall to go shopping, wanna bring me?"
Boyfriend sighs
Bf: "How would you like it if you went in a large car with a chauffeur?"
Gf: "That sounds great!"
Bf: "Well, the bus leaves in 5 minutes."
A guy ring's his new girlfriend's doorbell
She sees him holding a beautiful bouquet of roses and drags him in.
She lies on the couch, pulls her skirt up, and rips her knickers off and says "This is for the flowers!"
"Don't be silly" says her boyfriend, "you must have a vase somewhere!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young couple is getting ready to have s**... for the first time.
A young couple is getting ready to have s**... for the first time. The boyfriend asked his girlfriend, "Have you ever ridden a horse?"
She said, "Yes, I have."
Satisfied, he responded with, "So this will be just like riding a horse."
Suddenly, the woman's face looked horrified.
Concerned, the man asked his girlfriend what was wrong.
Tearfully, she responded with, "So it will be bumpy and uncomfortable?"
Another blonde joke
Boyfriend is driving down the street with his (blonde) girlfriend in the passenger seat. The boyfriend becomes concerned the turn signals are not working, so he asks his girlfriend to poke her head out the passenger side window to see if the right turn signal is functioning. She replies, "it's working, it's not working, it's working.."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the girlfriend say when her boyfriend finally told her about his g**... f**...?
"Don't worry, I'm into what u**... to."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girlfriend wants her boyfriend dead
But she doesn't know how to commit a m**.... She calls one of her best friends and tells her I want him dead, but I'm to scared to do it. Could you help?
Her best friend tells her It's alright, I got this and I'll make it look like an accident.
The next day the police are called because a dead body was found in an alleyway. A crime scene is set up and a detective does his detective work. After he's done an officer asks him So detective, what did you discover?
The detective looks at the officer and tells him Well it appears that someone beat this man to death with what seems to be a crowbar and then placed a banana peel 4 feet behind him.
A Muslim Couple decided to spend their day at the zoo.
They stopped at the Gorilla enclosure.
The Girlfriend then said, "The baby gorilla is soooo cute, I want to kiss it"
The Boyfriend then said. "No! That is Haram bae!!"
A jealous boyfriend.
A jealous boyfriend catches his girlfriend whispering quietly into her cell phone very late one night. Are you cheating? her angry boyfriend asks. Is there somebody else? The girlfriend laughs and replies, Do you really think I'd still be dating you if there were someone else?
Why do scubadivers roll backwards out of the boat?
If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.
[Breaking up]
\[Breaking up\]
Girlfriend: I think we should-
\*remembers her boyfriend is blind\*
hear other people.
credits : @stephenjmolloy
My girlfriend is perfect in every way!
She is funny, has an amazing body, and is so beautiful when she is asleep.
Too bad she doesn't know I'm her boyfriend.
Smoking joke
Girlfriend: How many ciggerates do you smoke per day?
Boyfriend: 5 packs, give or take
Girlfriend: If you quit smoking, you could even buy a car in a year.
Boyfriend: huh...do you smoke?
Girlfriend: God, no.
Boyfriend: Where is your car?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the cheating girlfriend say when her boyfriend caught her having s**... with with his best friend?
"You've got a friend in me"
Girlfriend to boyfriend
GF - I'm sorry babe but i've cheated on you.
BF - I'm sorry aswell, I have also cheated on you.
GF - April fools day!
BF - Mine was on 24th March
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girlfriend: your friends must call you M 16.
Boyfriend: Why, because I'm like a rifle in bed?
Girlfriend: no, because you b**... in three seconds
Curious convoluted case of Covid computation
A girl from Kentucky is found Covid 19 +ve. So the family of the girl and her boyfriend are now quarantined. Later it was found that the girl has 3 boyfriends. So 37 members of those 5 families are put into quarantine !! But now we come to know that 2 of her boyfriends have 2 more girlfriends !! Among those girlfriends, one has 2 more boyfriends !! Among them, one is married !!
Join maths classes, to learn newly introduced syllabus in Mathematics called Covid Maths....
