Girl Period Jokes
95 girl period jokes and hilarious girl period puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about girl period that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Girl Period Short Jokes
Short girl period jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The girl period humour may include short women period jokes also.
- What's the Difference between NHL Players and the jersey shore Girls? NHL Players shower after three periods.
- Whats the difference between hockey players and hippie girls? Hockey players shower after 3 periods
- What happened to the girl that had her period while giving a speech? She got a standing ovulation
- Why was the girl in such a bad mood when she got out of jail? She had a period at the end of her sentence.
- What's the difference between a Toronto Maple Leafs fan and a 14-year old girl? Nothing. They are both just waiting for the first period to be over.
- You hear of the movie about a girl's struggle during her time of the month? It won the award for the best period drama
- A weather girl walks into a chemist And buys an umbrella, a pair of sunglasses and a box of tampons.
She was expecting rain with sunny periods that day - What freaks out both girls and programmers? A missed period.
And heaven help us if the programmer happens to be a girl. - Batman should teach girls about periods in school... "Tell me, do you bleed?... You will."
- A girl posted a status in her facebook wall "I got my period today." 20 boys liked it.
10 boys commented, "Thank God."
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Girl Period One Liners
Which girl period one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with girl period? I can suggest the ones about menstrual period and menstruation period.
- Why don't Jewish girls study on their period? Concentration Cramps
- I took my wife to a movie about a girl hitting puberty It was a period piece
- I once went down on a girl without knowing she was on her period Boy was my face red.
- What do you call a girl who is laughing on her period? A happy cramper.
- Imagine if picasso was a girl... Do you think she would have had blue periods?
- Why can't girls play hockey? Their pads can't last three periods
- How do you know if a girl is on her period? Shut up!
- Three girls were waiting for their periods ...
- How many periods in a basketball game? It depends, how many girls are playing?
- A Vampire Visited A Teenage Girl In School He told her that he'll see her next period.
- Girl: We can't! I am on my period. Moses: Not a problem.
- The one that knows their periodic table better than anyone else.... has to be a girl.
- Who do high school girls hate school so much? They get 7 periods every day.
- Boy who fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed. *~Confucius*
- Why should girls take Human Sexuality at 8AM? Because it's first period.
Hilarious Girl Period Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about girl period you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tampon period jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make girl period pranks.
Italian Pregnancy
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,
'Who wasa the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.
A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:
'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse,
a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account...
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.
If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each..
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'
At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shotgun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder, looks him directly in the eyes and tells him
"You a gonna try again!"
I had s**... with a g**... her period once
Her dad walked in and caught me red-handed.
three daughters
There was this dad that was an owner of a morgue that had three daughters. The dad went and picked up this guy from a heart attack. The dad told the three girls that they needed to fix and prep him for tomorrow. Well the first girl got a look at him and said he was a really charming looking guy. She pulled back his sheet and noticed he had a hard on. She thought to herself the only way to get this down was to "ride" him. So without hesitation she jumped on and rode him for thirty or so minutes. Tired and worn out and the guy still being hard the second sister jumps up and starts riding him really hard. For about thirty minutes she gets worn out. They both look at the third girl and ask her to ride him now. She looked at them and told them she couldn't because she was on her period. They both said it didn't matter because he was dead. So she hopped on rode him for another thirty minutes. Finally his hard on went down and all three girls started cheering. The guy Sat up and looked at all three girls. They asked him how he was alive. He replied well after two jump starts and blood fusion I'm alive.
Father Knows Best!
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drug store and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant! Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning; your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be two factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they each will receive a factory and $2,000,000.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f*** her again."
New (Periodic Table) Element
A new element added to the PERIODIC TABLE :
Name: Girl
Symbol: Gl
Atomic weight: Don't even dare to ask.
Physical properties:
1. Boils at any time,
2. Melts when handled with love and care,
3. very bitter when mishandled.
Chemical properties:
1. Very reactive,
2. Highly unstable,
3. Possesses high affinity to gold, platinum, diamond, branded clothes and other expensive items.
Nature:
1. Money reducing agent.
2. Volatile when left alone.
Occurrence:
Mostly found in front of the mirrors.
What do you call a grumpy girl's desk?
A periodic table.
What do you call it when a girl throws a tantrum during her period?
An o**...-action.
Bad grammar / punctuation
Girl: I don't think I'd date a guy who cares if I have grammar or punctuation.
Guy: Well I don't think I'd date a girl who's bad at punctuation. What if she misses her period and doesn't realize it?
[ORIGINAL VERSION WITH ERROR]
Girl: I don't think I'd date a guy who cares if I have grammar or punctuation.
Guy: Well I don't think I'd date a girl who's bad at punctuation. What if she gets her period and doesn't realize it?
I lost my virginity to a g**... her period.
The foreplay gave me cotton mouth.
A Very Outdated But Still Funny Joke
A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What part of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?"
The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question."
So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the answer?"
The boys answers, "The pupil of the eye."
"That's right," says the teacher. Then he turns to the girl and says, "Two things are obvious. First, you didn't study your lesson last night. Second, you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment to you."
Man Periods
I'd hate to meet the girl of my dreams right now, because I, am on my man-period! No, let me explain: a woman would HATE to meet a s**... guy while on her period, because she knows it would mess up the part of her act where she pretends NOT to be berserk.
A man-period, is that special 2 to 3 days a month, when your unstoppable Juggernaut farts register on a seismograph. My last f**... sounded like a tornado went through a bassoon factory. I passed so much gas – Exxon called me up with an extraction lease, and the Department of Defense charted up a contingency plan.
[Joke] What do you call a g**... her period who is riding a bicycle through the ghetto?
"Little red ride in hood"
Dealing with your fear of having s**... with a girl while she's on her period is like dealing with your fear of heights.
Just don't look down.
What do you call a person who acts based on their feeling rather than logic?
A g**... period.
What do you call the morning of a Russian girl's first period?
Red Dawn.......
What is it called when a girl fakes her period?
o**...-Acting
What is Bruce Lee's most preferred drink?
Pre-pubescent girls period, you disgusting pig.
Did you hear about the girl who was found m**... while on her period?
She was caught red handed
How can you tell when a native girl has her period?
The flies are wearing lipstick
My girl's got the Dubstep of Periods...
I'm waiting forever for it to drop
This girl said she wouldn't have s**... with me because she was on her period...
I'd say her excuse was spotty at best.
Have you ever eaten out a Chinese g**... her period?
I hear it's a delicacy in some cultures. They call it Egg Drop Soup.
When is the best time to have s**... with a girl in school?
Before the first period.
What do you call a gamer g**... her period?
Red ring of death.
What do Cam girls do when they're menstruating?
Period pieces.
Why do girls get their period?
Because they deserve it.
What did the g**... her period say when she got caught?
"You caught me red handed!"
Why are girls so good at punctuation?
Because they remember to never skip a period!
Why do girls s**... at playing hockey as goalie?
Because there are 3 periods and only 2 pads
Why is hockey a girls sport?
Because it has periods
What do you call a g**... her period?
Call her next week.
A French Girl gets her Period
My friend's family is French.
His sister had this huge French flag for a bed sheet.
Then one night she got her period.
Imagine her shock when she woke up on the Japanese Flag.
What kind of guy enjoys a g**... her period?
A vampire
How can you tell a girl has been m**... on her period
You catch her red handed
My girl is on her period and is so mad at me
I think she's o**...-acting.
Definition: A run on sentence
When your girl misses her period.
A concerned wife goes to her husband...
"Honey, I know we said we would wait to give our little girl the birds and the bees talk, but I think it's about time."
He inquiries as to why she thinks this. Their daughter, while almost a teen, is still rather young.
"Well, I caught her m**...."
"~~Prosperous~~ Preposterous!! She's barely old enough to start her period let alone do that"
"That's the other thing, honey, I caught her red handed..."
How are the start of a hockey game and a twelve year old girl alike?
They're both having their first period.
*This joke is presented courtesy of my boyfriend*
When a middle aged girl is on her period...
you shouldn't call it a mid life crisis.
Did you hear about the movie about the girl's first menstrual cycle set in the 1930s?
It was a period piece.
So my teacher walked in during my second period
I asked what he was doing in the girls restroom
What does a works cited page and a teenage girl have in common?
A period in the wrong place can be catastrophic.
I told my girl that I didn't want to have v**... s**... with her during her periods.
She took it the wrong way.
TIL girls are on their period on saterday.
I went out this weekend and every girl I asked told me that she was on her period.
I was f**... a girl during her period...
And I was caught red handed
What do you call a pinup girl that is on her period?
Rag Doll.
"Mom, I'm almost 17 now. When will I get my period like the other girls?"
"You are not like the other girls, Dave."
Guy: Are you on your period?
Girl: I started my day in a pool of blood, is that how you want to end yours?
Graphene has a Tensile Strength of 130GPa
And it's still not as hard as surviving your g**... her period.
Wayne Gretzky is going down on a girl
She is on her period, and says "Messy eh?" He then replies: "No, it's Wayne"
What do you call s**... during a girl's period?
Bloodlust.
My family found out me and my girl had period s**... last night
They caught me red handed
I honestly think girls need to stop acting like their periods are the worst things in the world
It's really just a bit of an o**... action, don't you think?
Why do girls tend to make a big deal out of things when they are on their period?
Because they are o**... acting.
In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said....
I should mind my own bismuth.
