Girl Friend Boy Friend Jokes
40 girl friend boy friend jokes and hilarious girl friend boy friend puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about girl friend boy friend that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Girl Friend Boy Friend Short Jokes
Short girl friend boy friend jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The girl friend boy friend humour may include short girlfriend & boyfriend jokes also.
- Girl: What are your plan for today? Boy: Me and a friend of mine are going to buy some glasses.
Girl: And after that?
Boy: And after that we'll see. - A logician has just given birth. The logicians friend asks her is it a boy or a girl?
The logician replies yes - A girl goes to her guy friend and asks.. "Why do guys' ears perk up whenever we girl are around talking with each other?"
The boy replies, a bit confused, "Wait, girls call it ear?" - When my logician friend's wife had a baby When my logician friend's wife had a baby, I asked him, "Boy or Girl". He said, "Yes"
- A friend is having an unplanned baby... If its a girl he should name it ms.Take. If its a boy, mr.period
- How do you know if a cow girl has a boy friend? There's a belt buckle imprint on her forehead
- What is Facebook? Its a Place where Boy posts a JOKE and Gets no Response & If a Girl Posts the same JOKE , She gets Hundreds of likes , comments and Friend Requests and Lots of PM's .
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Girl Friend Boy Friend One Liners
Which girl friend boy friend one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with girl friend boy friend? I can suggest the ones about girlfriend boyfriend and girl boy.
- A mathematician was pregnant Her friend asked her:
- Boy or girl?
- Yes. - How does a Alabama girl friendzone her boy friend? Let's just be cousins.
- What do girls call boys under 6'0? Friends.
Cheeky Girl Friend Boy Friend Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about girl friend boy friend you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean young girlfriend jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make girl friend boy friend pranks.
Joey the altar boy goes to confession and says...
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
An Italian Boy's Confession:
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'
An altar boy enters the box to confess...
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's holiday and five excellent Leads.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Santa's Jokes
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can h**...-h**...-h**....
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd's outfit is on a mobile/ cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
A kid goes to church to confess...
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just another blonde s**... joke...
A blonde, brunette and redhead are sat in their local clinic, waiting to see the midwife, excitedly talking about the babies they are due to have.
"I haven't checked, but I think mine will be a boy." Says the redhead. "I was on top."
"In that case" starts the brunette, "I must be having a girl, because he went on top."
The blonde suddenly starts crying, hysterically, and it takes her new friends a good five minutes to calm her down. Between sobs she mutters "I think I'm having puppies..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day, there was a school where a class had just started...
The teacher said to the class, "OK kids! it's time to say what do you wish to be when you grow up" And so she went wih all the kids.
"I want to be a doctor" replied a small and innocent-looking girl.
"I wish to be a firefighter!" said a boy that showed no signs of fear.
"I wish to be an Idiot" Replied one very confident boy.
I'M SORRY? exclaimed the teacher, her stunned face expressed a mind that couldn't understand why would a boy say that.
"It's just that one day I was walking with my dad and a few of his friends through a store, when a very pretty woman passed by us and one of my daddy's friends said: Look at that beautiful woman walk, and the idiot she has with her"
A short collection of jokes....
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: homework!!!
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Why is there no mexican olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder..
Q: Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off.
Boy:say me
Girl:me
Boy: you forgot the d
Girl: there's no d in me
Boy: not yet there isnt :)
One day while in a bank, an old lady asked if i could help her check her balance... so i pushed her over
Failed my biology test today:
They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently "black people" wasnt the correct answer
Enjoy and post some funny ones i can havea laugh at...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kids at the Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young e**... to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
A Catholic teenager goes to confession
A Catholic teenager goes to confession, and after confessing to an affair with a girl is told by the priest that he can't be forgiven unless he reveals who the girl is.
"I promised not to tell!" he says.
"Was it Mary Patricia, the butcher's daughter?" the preist asks.
"No, and I said I wouldn't tell."
"Was it Mary Elizabeth, the printer's daughter?"
"No, and I still won't tell!"
'Was it Mary Francis, the baker's daughter?"
"No," says the boy.
'Well, son," says the priest, "I have no choice but to excommunicate you for six months."
Outside, the boy's friends ask what happened. "Well," he says, "I got six months, but three good leads."
A woman goes into a coma...
A woman goes into a coma while pregnant with twins. Her husband dies in the car accident. A few months into the coma, she successfully gives birth to a boy and a girl. Shortly afterward, she wakes up.
"Where are my children? Are they alright?"
The doctor pats her shoulder reassuringly. "Yes, you delivered fine. You gave birth to a healthy boy and girl."
The woman sighs in relief. "Oh thank God. Who named them?"
The doctor frowns. "Your... brother, ma'am."
She lunged from the bed, grabbing him by the collar. "Oh no. He's an idiot. Tell me, WHAT DID HE NAME THEM?!"
"Deniece, he named the girl Deniece," he gasped.
She released her grip. "Oh... that's not too bad. And the boy?"
The doctor shamefully looked at the ground. "Denephew."
*Credit goes to my friend
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Boy VS Girl Friends
A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you
The boyfriend says: Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow ?
Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a young man goes to confession
the priest asked " do you have any sins to confess?"
" yes father, i've had carnal knowledge of a young lady."
the priest shakes his head " was it molly watson? i've seen how short her skirts are."
" i can't tell you father."
" was it the smith girl? i've seen how low her tops are cut."
"was it the jones girl? she always seems to be looking at boys."
" i really can't tell you father."
" alright, say 100 hail marys and 200 our fathers and come by every week next week for community service."
the young man meets a friend outside, who asked" well, what'd you get?"
the young man smiles...." 3 GOOD LEADS!"
A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...
She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."
A boy goes into confession...
The boy tells the priest, "Father I'm afraid I've been with a loose girl."
"Hmm, ok son, what was the girls name?"
"Oh I can't say."
"Was it Mary Jane?"
"No Father."
"Adalina Mozarelli?"
"My lips are sealed."
"How about Cindy King"
"I can never say."
"Oh come on boy, I'll find out soon enough. It was Tina King wasn't it!?"
"No."
"It has to be Tracy Cummings though!"
"Father I will never tell you."
"Ok fine, but for your sin you can't be alter boy for four months."
"Ok, Father"
The boy leaves and his friend asks, "So what'd you get?"
The boy responds, "Five good leads, and a four month vacation!"
The Priest and the Altar Boy
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'
A few jokes for programmers
Programmer: My wife is expecting a baby in 6 weeks!
Friend: Is it a boy or a girl?
Programmer: Yes.
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world,
Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who expected this to be in base 3
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world,
Those who know hexadecimal, and F the rest
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy loses an eye
A boy who loses his eye from an accident goes to the doctor gets a wooden replacement. Of course, he is extremely self-conscious about his new wooden eye and doesn't make an effort to ask out any of the girls in school.
One day a new girl walks in and he notices she has a harelip. He figures they can relate to each other and perhaps become friends. They get to know each other and the boy gets to the point where he musters the courage to ask the g**... a date.
The girl is so excited and happy she can hardly believe it. "Would I? WOULD I?", she exclaims. The boy, crushed by this, screams back, "HARELIP! HARELIP!!!"
Boy goes to confession and tells the priest he has been with a girl of loose morals.
"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kate Dannaher?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"
"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."
Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"
He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 friends were talking...
Girl: God d**..., I've lost my keys again!
Boy:Next time, why don't you try putting them near something you can't lose.
Girl: So should I put them next to your virginity?
A boy has an amazing night with a girl from her school.
When he gets to school the next morning, he decides to tell his friends about his night.
"Guys, I had an amazing night with Linda!"
Linda overhears the conversation and responds.
"In your dreams!"
"Yup."
A teacher asks a class of 1st graders
"If you're on a date how do you politely say you are going to the restroom?" A little girl says "Please excuse me while I go to the little girls room" the teacher says that's perfect, anyone else? A little boy says "If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to shake hands with a dear friend of mine that I hope to introduce you to later."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl in the park
A girl in the park asks a boy what his 'size' is
The boy responds: Why do you want to know?
His friend interrupts: My size is over 17 inches
Boy: Stop flexing man
His friend: Well I know someone who has a really small one and sounds like an owl
To which the boy responds: Who?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teenage boys
Two teenage boys go to confession. In the booth the first boy admits having s**... with a girl but refuses to name her. The priest asks, 'It wasn't Mary Jones, was it?' The boy says 'No, Father it wasn't'. The priest asks' 'Was it Angela Brown?'. The boy replies 'No, Father. it wasn't. 'It wasn't Jane Carter by any chance?' The boy says 'No father it wasn't' The priest gives up and says 'Well for your penance say fifty Hail Mary's and leave half your pocket money in the poor box.' When the boy leaves his friend asks him how it went. He replies 'Not bad, a $5 fine and three great leads!'
Tunnel love
A gawky lad from New England came to New York with his girl, and took her to nearby Playland Amusement Park. They had heard a lot about the Tunnel of Love and were especially anxious to try it out. But when they got home, the kids expressed disappointment.
Shucks, the boy said, it was dark and damp and uncomfortable. Besides, we got soaking wet.
How come? asked a friend. Did the boat leak?
The kid looked amazed. There's a boat?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A scrawny teenage boy asks his muscular friend how he gets so many girls to sleep with him.
The muscular friend says, "Here's what you do: next time there's a party, get a large potato and stick it down your pants and act normal. You'll see - that'll turn you into a chick magnet."
A minute later, all the girls at the party run away from the scrawny kid, screaming and laughing and pointing.
The muscular friend sees this and comes over to his scrawny friend. "Dude," he says. "You have to put the potato in the front."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two r**... went to the beach
The younger of the two said "This s**..., man! None of the girls are even noticing me!"
His older friend said "I tell you what- maybe if you put a sock in your swim trunks, that would help get you some more attention."
So the younger boy went to the changing room and adjusted his swimwear. They met up again about an hour later and the boy said "Man, that didn't help at all! Now they're just running away from me!"
And the older r**... said "You d**...- you're supposed to put the sock in the FRONT!"
