Giraffe Jokes
169 giraffe jokes and hilarious giraffe puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about giraffe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From the classic giraffe neck jokes to the more modern giraffe cartoon jokes, this article has it all! Get ready to laugh out loud at these hilarious jokes about giraffes! Whether it's a birthday, Christmas, or just a casual day, these jokes are sure to make you and your friends smile. Also, learn about the differences between giraffes, antelopes, cheetahs, zebras, and more.
Quick Jump To
- Short Giraffe Jokes
- Giraffe One Liners
- Giraffe In Bar Jokes
- Giraffe And Elephant Jokes
- Giraffe Neck Jokes
- Giraffe Birthday Jokes
- More Giraffe Jokes
Funniest Giraffe Short Jokes
Short giraffe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The giraffe humour may include short zebra jokes also.
- You're being chased by a Lion, you're on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do? You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.
- The worst part about being a giraffe is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you're sinking into quicksand.
Credit. The Joke cafe - For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid. I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.
- It takes a big man to accept when he is wrong It takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut
- How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.
- You're riding a horse, a giraffe is running next to you and a lion is chasing you. What do you do? Get your drunk as off the carousel.
- You're riding a giraffe and a tiger is chasing you.. What do you do? You get off the merry-go-round
- A man and a Giraffe walk into a bar. The Giraffe gets drunk and falls on the floor unconscious.
The bartender says "you can't leave that lyin' there."
The man says "its not a Lion, its a Giraffe" - At the touch of her lips, it grew long and swollen. I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly. It was the best balloon giraffe I'd ever seen.
- When I was a kid a zookeeper caught me smoking a camel. I told him I'd kill a giraffe too if he didn't keep his mouth shut.
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Giraffe One Liners
Which giraffe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with giraffe? I can suggest the ones about gorilla and rhino.
- What do you call it when two giraffes run into each other? A giraffic jam
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin And giraffes were born
- Some Giraffes can grow up to 18 feet But most only have 4
- Why are giraffes' necks so long? Because their heads are so far from their bodies.
- Why is it cheap to feed a giraffe? A little goes a long way
- What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice? Neck-romance-y.
- What did the giraffe say to the conspiracy theorist? Nothing, giraffes aren't real.
- How was the first giraffe made? Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
- A bit of advice: never read a pop-up book about giraffes.
- Giraffes can grow up to fourteen feet But normally they have only four
- What is a giraffe's favorite fruit? Necktarines
- Giraffes are my favorite animal. I always look up to them.
- Where do you put Giraffes that don't feel good? Giraffe-Sick Park
- A giraffe walks into a bar Giraffes aren't good at playing limbo
- What school of magic does a Giraffe practice? Neckromancy
Giraffe In Bar Jokes
Here is a list of funny giraffe in bar jokes and even better giraffe in bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A giraffe walks into a bar, he sits and orders 6 martinis........ Shame on you for wanting a punchline.
This giraffe needs help. - A giraffe walks into a bar and orders a beer the bartender asks, "You want a long neck?"
The giraffe says, "I have a choice?" - An Elephant, a Giraffe and a Penguin walk in to a bar It's at this point I realise that there is something wrong with my pint.
- Man walks into a bar with a giraffe The giraffe goes to sleep on the floor. The bartender says, "Aye, what's that lyin' there?" The man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
- A giraffe walks into a bar... The giraffe trips and falls over, the bartender says, "what's that lyin over there." And someone replies, "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."
- A joke I read somewhere. A man walks into a bar and lays down a dead giraffe.
Bartender asks "What's that lyin' there?"
Man responds "That's not a lion. That's a giraffe." - Two giraffes walk into a bar. The zebra just laughs and walks under it.
- A giraffe walks into a bar and says... The highballs are on me.
- A Pirate, Rabbi, Ninja, and Giraffe walk into a bar together. The bartender looks at all of them and asks out loud, "What is this? A joke?!"
- A Nun and a Parrot Two nuns, a penguin, a man with a parrot on his shoulder, and a giraffe walk into a bar.
The bartender says, What is this? Some kind of joke?
Giraffe And Elephant Jokes
Here is a list of funny giraffe and elephant jokes and even better giraffe and elephant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There is an elephant and a giraffe in the bathroom The giraffe says "pass the soap, please"
And the elephant says "no soap, radio!" - Why did the mouse whisper into the elephant's ear? The giraffe put him up to it.
- What do you get when you cross an elephant and a giraffe? A visit from the ethics board an a rescind of your grant.
- What do an elephant and a giraffe have in common? They are both gray except for the giraffe.
- What's the similarity between a giraffe and an elephant? - I don't know, What ?
-They both start With the letter G
-What? That makes no sense??
-The elephant's name is Greg - What do you get when you cross and elephant with a giraffe? ||elephant||•||giraffe||sin(Φ)
- An inteovert elephant and an emo giraffe walks into a bar.. They couldnt fit in
- You're riding a horse at full speed. A giraffe is beside you, an elephant in front of you, and a lion behind you! What do you do? You get off the carousel
- Why do elephants paint their t**... red? -So they can hide in cherry trees.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
-A giraffe eating cherries. - Why do elephants paint their t**... red? To hide in cherry trees. Ever seen one? No? It works.
What's the loudest sound in the forest?
Giraffes eating cherries.
Giraffe Neck Jokes
Here is a list of funny giraffe neck jokes and even better giraffe neck puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Do you know why giraffes necks are so long? Because their heads are so far from their body
- Do you know why giraffes necks are so long? Because if they were shorter they wouldn't reach their heads.
- Why is a giraffes neck so long? Because the head is so high up.
- Why does the giraffe have a long neck? Because it has smelly feet.
- Why is a giraffe's neck so long? To connect its head and body together.
- I saw a giraffe with a short neck It was sad, or a deer
- What do you call a basketball team full of giraffes? The New York Necks
- Why do giraffes have long necks? Because their feet stink.
- Why are giraffes real but unicorns aren't? What's more believable a horse with a horn or a leopard moose camel with a 40 foot neck?
- Did you hear about the Giraffe and Ostrich race? It was neck and neck.
Giraffe Birthday Jokes
Here is a list of funny giraffe birthday jokes and even better giraffe birthday puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It was my grandmas birthday yesterday... She loves giraffes so I brought her d**... 4 on DVD
Giraffe Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about giraffe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean elephant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make giraffe pranks.
So a man and a giraffe walk into a bar....
They each get wasted, the giraffe falls over.
The man goes to leave but the bartender says "oi! you cant leave that lyin there!"
The man says... "Its not a lion... its a giraffe."
A giraffe walks into a bar...
And orders a drink. As the bartender turns around to make the drink, the giraffe falls dead to the ground. The bartender turns back around and asks a man sitting at the bar:
"Hey, what's that lyin' on the ground there?"
The man replies "That's not a lion, that's a giraffe!"
What do you do when you are riding a horse, and you look to the left and see a running lion, and you look to the right and see a running giraffe?
What do you do when you are riding a horse, and you look to the left and see a running lion, and you look to the right and see a running giraffe?
**Get off the merry-go-round, you're drunk**
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe...
And says," Bartender! Get me a beer and one for my Giraffe as well!" so the two stand around drinking for hours until the Giraffe passes out on the floor. The man pays for him and the Giraffe and starts to leave when the bartender says," Hey! You can't leave that lyin' on the floor!" The man replies," That's not a lion, it's a Giraffe."
It takes a long time for a giraffe...
...to s**... its pride.
So a man and a giraffe walk into a bar...
and drink until the giraffe passes out. The man goes to leave and the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!" Man says, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
So a guy walls into a bar
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe. The guy had a few beers, but the giraffe ends up getting totally wasted and passes out on the floor. The man pays and just add he is about to walk out the door the bartender shouts "hey! Don't leave that lyin' there!" And the man says back "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar...
He orders a beer for himself, and one for the giraffe too. They each have 5 beers, and after they finish the fifth one, the man says to the giraffe, "c'mon, it's time to go."
But the giraffe was too drunk to walk out, so it just collapses on the bar floor, and the man begins to walk out regardless. The barman notices this, and shouts:
"Hey, what's that lyin' on the floor?!" to which the man replied:
"That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe...
The man and the giraffe drink shots back and forth and eventually the giraffe passes out from alcohol. The man puts some money on the table and starts to walk out. The bartender yells out "You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man replies "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Read it out loud if you don't get it at first.
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2, one to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
A man and his giraffe walk into a bar...
They both get really drunk and the giraffe passes out, the man starts to walk out the door when the bartender says 'hey you can't leave that ly'n there. 'The man turns around and says to the bartender 'that's not a lion it's a giraffe'.
A man walks into a bar with his pet giraffe.
A man walks into a bar with his giraffe.
He buys himself a drink and he buys the giraffe a drink.
He drinks his drink.
The giraffe drinks its drink.
The giraffe passes out.
The man gets up to pee and the bartender says:
"Oi! Ya can't leave that lyin' there"
The man says: "It's not a lion. It's a giraffe."
A guy walks into a bar...
.... with a giraffe.
They sit down at the bar and start drinking beer after beer and shot after shot.
Finally, the giraffe passes out and falls to the floor. The guy pays the tab and is just about to leave when the bartender says: "Hey! You gonna leave that lyin' there?" - "Not a lion, a giraffe!"
There are 500 bricks on a plane...
- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
499
- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge
- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge
- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?
Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.
- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
The alligators are all at the birthday party.
- Sally dies anyways. Why?
She got hit in the head by a flying brick
A man and his giraffe
A man and his giraffe walk into a bar. The giraffe has a bit too much to drink and passes out on the bar. The man gets up and begins to walk to the door when the bartender says "you can't leave that lying there!". The man replies, "that's not a lion, it's a giraffe"
Guy brings a giraffe into a bar...
The giraffe passes out on the floor and the bartender says "hey, you cant leave that lyin there." The guy says "it's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
The giraffe gets rather drunk, and passes out. The bartender doesn't think much of it until the man is about to leave. The bartender remarks to the man, "You can't leave that lyin' there."
The man replies, "No no, that's a giraffe, not a lion."
a giraffe, a zebra, a hippo, and a mouse walk into a bar
all of the animals hit their head on the bar except for the mouse which walked easily beneath it
How do you make a Giraffe go to war?
You Giraffed it
God's first concept for a long-n**... quadriped was just a rough giraffe.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar..
They both sit at the bar and start drinking..8 pints later...
the giraffe falls down drunk
The bartender says "You better not leave that lying there"
The man says "Thats not a lion, thats a giraffe"
A Giraffe walks into a bar....
And says "Hi guys, the Hi-b**... are on me" ....Bartender says "You sure you don't want a long neck?"
A man and his Giraffe walk into a bar
So a man and a Giraffe walk into a bar, they stroll up to the bar and order a few drinks. Now after about an hour the Giraffe who has had far too much passes out, the man seeing this pays his tab and gets up to leave and the bar tender shouts: "Oi! You can't leave that lyin' there!" To which the man replys:
"That's not a Lion it's a Giraffe"
What do you call a h**... giraffe that lives in a trailer and drinks beer all day?
A rednnnnnneeeeeeeccccccccckkkkkk.
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe.
The giraffe gets drunk and falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "ey, you can't just leave that lyin' there! and the man says, "it's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
A English teacher says to a African student..
"okay you're doing really good with your English, I would like you to use the word dandelion in a sentence" the student replies "ohh that is easy, The giraffe, is bigger, dan de lion"
God allows animals to ask him one question...
The giraffe: God why do I have this long neck?
God: to be able to get the finest leaves.
The rihno: why is my skin so heavy and thick?
God: because your skin is your armor and its role is to protect you from your enemies.
The chicken: I don't care, so please don't even try explain! You make the hole bigger or the egg smaller.
What do you get when you cross a cheese grater with a giraffe?
A ban from the zoo.
What do you call a giraffe that eats another giraffe?
Giraffrey d**...
A giraffe walks into a bar
And shouts "highballs are on me!"
An elephant was drinking out of the river one day...
When he spotted a turtle lying fast asleep on a log.
The elephant walked over and kicked the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
A passing giraffe who happened to see this happen asked the elephant, "Why did you do that?"
The elephant replied, "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that bit my trunk 38 years ago."
The giraffe said, "Wow, what a memory you've got!"
"Yes," said the elephant, proudly. "Turtle recall."
If there are 500 bricks on a plane and one falls off, how many are left?
499.
What are the 3 steps of putting an elephant into a fridge?
Open fridge, put elephant in fridge, close fridge
What are the 4 steps of putting a giraffe into a fridge?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.
The lion king is hosting a party. All but one of the guests show up. Who is missing?
The giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to go to the party, but she has to cross a crocodile-infested river to get there. She successfully swims across, how?
All the crocodiles are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, why?
She got hit in the head by a falling brick.
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe.
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe, he gets the giraffe drunk and the giraffe passes out, as the man walks towards the exit to leave, the bartender says
"Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there"
The man replies "that's not a lion that's a giraffe"
And he walks out the door.
What do Giraffes and zoning regulations have in common?
They both don't exist in Texas.
Why don't most restaurants serve giraffe?
It's a tall order.
What do you call a giraffe with no eyes?
A graph
A priest, a nun, a giraffe, a telepathic unicorn, 21 pilots, Pennywise the clown, a ninja and Donald Trump walk into a bar. The bartender, struggling to open the champagne, says
...yeah I don't know how I'm going to pull this one off.
" Why did the dinosaur say hello to the Giraffe?
Because he wanted to become friends with him"
(my 4 y/o nieces joke just now)
What's the difference between a tractor and a giraffe?
One has hydraulics and the other has hybollocks
What do you get when you cross a shark and a giraffe?
A stern reprimand from the bioethics committee.
What do you call a giraffe when it's angry?
A grrrraffe.
So a guy walks into a bar with a giraffe......
They have a good few drinks and get rather drunk.
After many more straight whiskeys and ales the giraffe finally gives up the ghost and passes out beside the bar..
The guy feeling he's not too far behind, finishes his last whiskey and turns to leave picking up his coat.
The barman says sharply you can't leave that lyin' here .
The guy turns slightly and slurs over his shoulder it's not a lion, it's a giraffe .
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes a long time for them to s**... their pride.
Walked into a bar with my giraffe today.
I laid the giraffe down in the corner and walked to go to the toilet.
The barman said you can't just leave that lying there son .
I replied I'll stop you there my friend, that's not a lion it's a giraffe
A long-neck giraffe is eating with a rabbit in the forest
... and then the giraffe brags, "Bet you are really envious of my long neck. When I'm eating, delicious food usually lingers in my t**... and oh my, the taste, the scent, that feels really good!"
The rabbit swallows a mouthful real fast and then asks,
"Have you ever puked?"
An elephant is drinking out of a river
An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
"Why did you do that?" Asks a passing giraffe.
"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a n**... out of my trunk 47 years ago."
"Wow, what a memory." Says the giraffe.
"Yes," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."
A young couple goes cloudwatching
The girl points a cloud, and she says, "Oh! I see a giraffe!"
The boy points at another, "Yeah? I see a mushroom!"
...
Man & his Giraffe walk into a bar
The man orders a pint for himself and 1 for his giraffe. They finish the drink and the man orders another 2 pints. This keeps going until leaving time when the man and giraffe go to leave. The giraffe collapses on the walk out but the man keeps on walking. The bartender shouts " you can't leave that lying here". The man turns back and says it's not a lion its a giraffe
Why did the giraffe leave her boyfriend?
He was a Cheetah!
What do you call a mural of a giraffe in the street?
Giraffiti
Old number 51628
A man is taking his giraffe for a walk downtown. He gets tired and stops at a bar. As the man sits down the giraffe goes and lays down in the corner.
The bartender says to the man: Hey! You can't just leave that lyin' around!
Man: It's not a lion. It's a giraffe.
A guy and a giraffe walk in to a bar...
They go up to the bar and order 20 shots each. 1 shot, 2 shots, 3, 4 .... they finally down the 20th shot. They both stand to leave and the giraffe passes out on the floor. The guy keeps stumbling to the door.
Right as he is going to leave. The bartender says, "Hey! Are you going to leave this lying on the floor?"
The man turns looks at the giraffe, looks at the bartender and says,
*hicc* "Thas not a lioOon. Thasa GIRAFFE!"
Why did the Giraffe have PTSD?
Because he was giraffe'ted into the war.
Also Melman's job didn't pay well.
Ever heard the one about the giraffe?
Nevermind, it'd probably go over your head.
A man walks into a bar wit a giraffe
He sits down at the bar and orders himself a pint and a milkshake for the giraffe.
He finishes his pint, the giraffe finishes it's milkshake and he orders another for each of them.
Again they finish and have another.
After the third the giraffe drops down dead. The man gets up to walk out and the barman stops him;
"Oi mate, You can't leave that lying there"
The man turns around and says;
"it's not a lion, it's a giraffe"
