The Best 63 Giraffe Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Giraffe jokes. There are some giraffe jcb jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these giraffe hippo puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Giraffe Jokes and Puns

So a man and a giraffe walk into a bar....

They each get wasted, the giraffe falls over.
The man goes to leave but the bartender says "oi! you cant leave that lyin there!"
The man says... "Its not a lion... its a giraffe."

What do you do when you are riding a horse, and you look to the left and see a running lion, and you look to the right and see a running giraffe?

What do you do when you are riding a horse, and you look to the left and see a running lion, and you look to the right and see a running giraffe?
**Get off the merry-go-round, you're drunk**

Why did the mouse whisper into the elephant's ear?

The giraffe put him up to it.

Giraffe joke, Why did the mouse whisper into the elephant's ear?

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe...

And says," Bartender! Get me a beer and one for my Giraffe as well!" so the two stand around drinking for hours until the Giraffe passes out on the floor. The man pays for him and the Giraffe and starts to leave when the bartender says," Hey! You can't leave that lyin' on the floor!" The man replies," That's not a lion, it's a Giraffe."

It takes a long time for a giraffe...

...to swallow its pride.


How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.

Man walks into a bar with a giraffe

The giraffe goes to sleep on the floor. The bartender says, "Aye, what's that lyin' there?" The man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

Giraffe joke, Man walks into a bar with a giraffe

So a man and a giraffe walk into a bar...

and drink until the giraffe passes out. The man goes to leave and the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!" Man says, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

So a guy walls into a bar

A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe. The guy had a few beers, but the giraffe ends up getting totally wasted and passes out on the floor. The man pays and just add he is about to walk out the door the bartender shouts "hey! Don't leave that lyin' there!" And the man says back "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."

A giraffe walks into a bar and orders a beer

the bartender asks, "You want a long neck?"

The giraffe says, "I have a choice?"

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar...

He orders a beer for himself, and one for the giraffe too. They each have 5 beers, and after they finish the fifth one, the man says to the giraffe, "c'mon, it's time to go."

But the giraffe was too drunk to walk out, so it just collapses on the bar floor, and the man begins to walk out regardless. The barman notices this, and shouts:

"Hey, what's that lyin' on the floor?!" to which the man replied:

"That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

You can explore giraffe zebra reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean giraffe hippopotamus dad jokes. There are also giraffe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man walks into a bar with a giraffe...

The man and the giraffe drink shots back and forth and eventually the giraffe passes out from alcohol. The man puts some money on the table and starts to walk out. The bartender yells out "You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man replies "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

Read it out loud if you don't get it at first.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, one to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

A guy walks into a bar...

.... with a giraffe.
They sit down at the bar and start drinking beer after beer and shot after shot.

Finally, the giraffe passes out and falls to the floor. The guy pays the tab and is just about to leave when the bartender says: "Hey! You gonna leave that lyin' there?" - "Not a lion, a giraffe!"

You're riding a horse, a giraffe is running next to you and a lion is chasing you. What do you do?

Get your drunk as off the carousel.

Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?

Because if they were shorter they wouldn't reach their heads.

Giraffe joke, Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?

A giraffe walks into a bar, he sits and orders 6 martinis........

Shame on you for wanting a punchline.

This giraffe needs help.

There are 500 bricks on a plane...

- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?

499

- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge

- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge

- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?

Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.

- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?

The alligators are all at the birthday party.

- Sally dies anyways. Why?

She got hit in the head by a flying brick

A man and his giraffe

A man and his giraffe walk into a bar. The giraffe has a bit too much to drink and passes out on the bar. The man gets up and begins to walk to the door when the bartender says "you can't leave that lying there!". The man replies, "that's not a lion, it's a giraffe"


A giraffe walks into a bar...

The giraffe trips and falls over, the bartender says, "what's that lyin over there." And someone replies, "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."

What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?

Neck-romance-y.

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar..

They both sit at the bar and start drinking..8 pints later...

the giraffe falls down drunk

The bartender says "You better not leave that lying there"

The man says "Thats not a lion, thats a giraffe"

A man and his Giraffe walk into a bar

So a man and a Giraffe walk into a bar, they stroll up to the bar and order a few drinks. Now after about an hour the Giraffe who has had far too much passes out, the man seeing this pays his tab and gets up to leave and the bar tender shouts: "Oi! You can't leave that lyin' there!" To which the man replys:

"That's not a Lion it's a Giraffe"

A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe.

The giraffe gets drunk and falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "ey, you can't just leave that lyin' there! and the man says, "it's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

What did the giraffe say to the conspiracy theorist?

Nothing, giraffes aren't real.

A man and a Giraffe walk into a bar.

The Giraffe gets drunk and falls on the floor unconscious.
The bartender says "you can't leave that lyin' there."
The man says "its not a Lion, its a Giraffe"

A English teacher says to a African student..

"okay you're doing really good with your English, I would like you to use the word dandelion in a sentence" the student replies "ohh that is easy, The giraffe, is bigger, dan de lion"

God allows animals to ask him one question...

The giraffe: God why do I have this long neck?
God: to be able to get the finest leaves.

The rihno: why is my skin so heavy and thick?
God: because your skin is your armor and its role is to protect you from your enemies.

The chicken: I don't care, so please don't even try explain! You make the hole bigger or the egg smaller.

The worst part about being a giraffe

is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you're sinking into quicksand.

Credit. The Joke Cafe

An elephant was drinking out of the river one day...

When he spotted a turtle lying fast asleep on a log.
The elephant walked over and kicked the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.

A passing giraffe who happened to see this happen asked the elephant, "Why did you do that?"

The elephant replied, "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that bit my trunk 38 years ago."

The giraffe said, "Wow, what a memory you've got!"

"Yes," said the elephant, proudly. "Turtle recall."

If there are 500 bricks on a plane and one falls off, how many are left?

499.

What are the 3 steps of putting an elephant into a fridge?
Open fridge, put elephant in fridge, close fridge

What are the 4 steps of putting a giraffe into a fridge?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.

The lion king is hosting a party. All but one of the guests show up. Who is missing?
The giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to go to the party, but she has to cross a crocodile-infested river to get there. She successfully swims across, how?
All the crocodiles are at the party.

Sally dies anyway, why?
She got hit in the head by a falling brick.

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe.

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe, he gets the giraffe drunk and the giraffe passes out, as the man walks towards the exit to leave, the bartender says
"Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there"
The man replies "that's not a lion that's a giraffe"
And he walks out the door.

It takes a big man to accept when he is wrong

It takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut

When I was a kid a zookeeper caught me smoking a camel.

I told him I'd kill a giraffe too if he didn't keep his mouth shut.

At the touch of her lips, it grew long and swollen. I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly.

It was the best balloon giraffe I'd ever seen.

How was the first giraffe made?

Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a giraffe?

A stern reprimand from the bioethics committee.

So a guy walks into a bar with a giraffe......

They have a good few drinks and get rather drunk.
After many more straight whiskeys and ales the giraffe finally gives up the ghost and passes out beside the bar..
The guy feeling he's not too far behind, finishes his last whiskey and turns to leave picking up his coat.
The barman says sharply you can't leave that lyin' here .
The guy turns slightly and slurs over his shoulder it's not a lion, it's a giraffe .

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes a long time for them to swallow their pride.

Old number 51628

A man is taking his giraffe for a walk downtown. He gets tired and stops at a bar. As the man sits down the giraffe goes and lays down in the corner.

The bartender says to the man: Hey! You can't just leave that lyin' around!

Man: It's not a lion. It's a giraffe.

Some Giraffes can grow up to 18 feet

But most only have 4

Giraffes can grow up to fourteen feet

But normally they have only four

Why is it cheap to feed a giraffe?

A little goes a long way

Giraffes are my favorite animal.

I always look up to them.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a giraffe?

A visit from the ethics board an a rescind of your grant.

Man walks into a bar with his pet giraffe

After a few hours the drunken pair get up to leave.

The giraffe stumbles and falls to the floor unconscious, the man walks on.

"Oi" shouts the bar man, "You can't just leave THAT lyin' there"

The man turns as says:

"It's not a lion, it's a giraffe"

Did you know Ronnie Pickering invented the giraffe?

He got into an argument with a horse and uppercutted it

Tried translating a joke from Latvian.

John, a rural farmer, decided to visit the zoo in the capital with his family. He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. His neighbor
Tolya asks him what he saw there.

"Well, I saw a giraffe."

"What's a giraffe?"

"Well, you know horses?"

"Yeah."

"It's like a horse, but really tall and with a long neck."

"Okay, what else?"

"Zebra."

"Zebra?"

"Well, you know horses?"

"Yeah."

"It's like a horse, but with stripes."

"Okay, what else then?"

"I saw a hippo. "

"What's that?"

"You know horses?"

"Yeah?"

"Like a horse, but big and fat."

"Hm. Okay. Anything else?"

"Yes... a crocodile."

"What's a crocodile?"

"You know horses?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing like one."

It takes a big man to admit he's wrong,

but it takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut

There is an elephant and a giraffe in the bathroom

The giraffe says "pass the soap, please"

And the elephant says "no soap, radio!"

One day a horse asked God Hey God can you make my **ck even longer?

And thus the giraffe was born.

Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?

Because their heads are so far from their body

For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid.

I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.

A polygamist lion walks into a bar with 3 of his wives: a giraffe, an ostrich and a llama.

He walks up to the bar and asks the rhino bartender to recommend a beer.

Rhino: "Sure, we have lots of great choices on tap."

Lion: "C'mon man... Can't you see I prefer longnecks?"

If giraffes could read books I bet they wouldn't be able to stop at just one.

. . . what with them being two-story animals and all.

Did you know giraffe can grow upto ..

18 feet!
But most of them only have 4.

"Two steaks please", I asked the writer. "Rare for me, medium rare for my friend."

He brought us a lovely bit of panda and a nice chunk of giraffe.

An Elephant, a Giraffe and a Penguin walk in to a bar

It's at this point I realise that there is something wrong with my pint.

Guy walks into a bar with a giraffe

They take a seat at the bar and start taking shots.

The giraffe gets blackout drunk and passes out on the floor.

Guy gets up and goes to leave the bar.

Bartender says hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!

Guy says it's not a lion, it's a giraffe

What school of magic does a Giraffe practice?

Neckromancy

A giraffe walks into a bar

Giraffes aren't good at playing limbo

You're being chased by a Lion, you're on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?

You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.

A joke I read somewhere.

A man walks into a bar and lays down a dead giraffe.

Bartender asks "What's that lyin' there?"

Man responds "That's not a lion. That's a giraffe."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the giraffe hydraulics jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working giraffe giraffe in bar piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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