The first guy said, "My dick's like a lion, big and strong!"
"Yeah sure, but mine's like a giraffe, big and long," said the second guy.
The third guy came up and said, "Oh yeah? Talk about mine, it's like a mouse!"
The other guys laughed and said, "It's as small as a mouse?"
The third guy replied, "No, it's always chased by pussies."
The Giraffe gets drunk and falls on the floor unconscious.
The bartender says "you can't leave that lyin' there."
The man says "its not a Lion, its a Giraffe"
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, Oi. You can't leave that lyin' there. And the man says, No. It's not a lion. It's a giraffe.
And says," Bartender! Get me a beer and one for my Giraffe as well!" so the two stand around drinking for hours until the Giraffe passes out on the floor. The man pays for him and the Giraffe and starts to leave when the bartender says," Hey! You can't leave that lyin' on the floor!" The man replies," That's not a lion, it's a Giraffe."
Shame on you for wanting a punchline.
This giraffe needs help.
A giraffe walks into a bar, orders 6 vodkas and shame on you for expecting a punch line.
This giraffe needs help.
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe, he gets the giraffe drunk and the giraffe passes out, as the man walks towards the exit to leave, the bartender says
"Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there"
The man replies "that's not a lion that's a giraffe"
And he walks out the door.
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe. The guy had a few beers, but the giraffe ends up getting totally wasted and passes out on the floor. The man pays and just add he is about to walk out the door the bartender shouts "hey! Don't leave that lyin' there!" And the man says back "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."
the bartender asks, "You want a long neck?"
The giraffe says, "I have a choice?"
The man and the giraffe drink shots back and forth and eventually the giraffe passes out from alcohol. The man puts some money on the table and starts to walk out. The bartender yells out "You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man replies "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Read it out loud if you don't get it at first.
He orders a beer for himself, and one for the giraffe too. They each have 5 beers, and after they finish the fifth one, the man says to the giraffe, "c'mon, it's time to go."
But the giraffe was too drunk to walk out, so it just collapses on the bar floor, and the man begins to walk out regardless. The barman notices this, and shouts:
"Hey, what's that lyin' on the floor?!" to which the man replied:
"That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Has a seat and the bartender says to it, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."
The rope, upset, ties itself into a knot and separates its strands.
The bartender says, 'What are you doing? I told you we don't serve ropes here. You'll have to leave."
"I don't think so," says the rope, "I'm a frayed knot."
Barrum-cha!
[Bonus: A giraffe walks into a bar and yells, "The high balls are on me!"]
The giraffe goes to sleep on the floor. The bartender says, "Aye, what's that lyin' there?" The man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
The giraffe goes to sleep on the floor and the bartender says, "Oi, what's that lyin' over there?" The owner of the giraffe says, "That's no lion, that's a giraffe!"
...checking out the wildlife. Lion says, "Check out Gazelle! I'd love the chase that."
Mouse replies, "Hmm... not sure how that would work out for her... but Giraffe, now she is FINE."
Lion almost falls off his stool laughing! "Giraffe?!? Uh... I'm not sure you're really up for the task buddy."
Unfazed, Mouse walks straight up to Giraffe whispers something in her ear, and the two leave together, hand in hoof.
Mouse doesn't show up at the bar the next few nights, and Lion starts to get worried. He checks at Mouse's house, but doesn't find him. He heads over to Giraffe's house and finds Mouse stumbling on the road, with broken whiskers, about to collapse.
"What happened Mouse? Are you ok," asks Lion, scooping up mouse and dusting him off.
"Oh... yeah... " he gasps between shallow breaths. "But between all the kissing...
and drink until the giraffe passes out. The man goes to leave and the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!" Man says, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
The giraffe trips and falls over, the bartender says, "what's that lyin over there." And someone replies, "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."
.... with a giraffe.
They sit down at the bar and start drinking beer after beer and shot after shot.
Finally, the giraffe passes out and falls to the floor. The guy pays the tab and is just about to leave when the bartender says: "Hey! You gonna leave that lyin' there?" - "Not a lion, a giraffe!"
He says "High balls on me!"
They both sit at the bar and start drinking..8 pints later...
the giraffe falls down drunk
The bartender says "You better not leave that lying there"
The man says "Thats not a lion, thats a giraffe"
They each get wasted, the giraffe falls over.
The man goes to leave but the bartender says "oi! you cant leave that lyin there!"
The man says... "Its not a lion... its a giraffe."
So a man and a Giraffe walk into a bar, they stroll up to the bar and order a few drinks. Now after about an hour the Giraffe who has had far too much passes out, the man seeing this pays his tab and gets up to leave and the bar tender shouts: "Oi! You can't leave that lyin' there!" To which the man replys:
"That's not a Lion it's a Giraffe"
The giraffe gets drunk and falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "ey, you can't just leave that lyin' there! and the man says, "it's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
A man and his giraffe walk into a bar. The giraffe has a bit too much to drink and passes out on the bar. The man gets up and begins to walk to the door when the bartender says "you can't leave that lying there!". The man replies, "that's not a lion, it's a giraffe"
They have a good few drinks and get rather drunk.
After many more straight whiskeys and ales the giraffe finally gives up the ghost and passes out beside the bar..
The guy feeling he's not too far behind, finishes his last whiskey and turns to leave picking up his coat.
The barman says sharply you can't leave that lyin' here .
The guy turns slightly and slurs over his shoulder it's not a lion, it's a giraffe .
The hi-balls are on me.
A big game hunter walks into a bar, dragging a giraffe with him.
He slaps it down on the bar and nods at the bartender and says "I bagged this'n in the safari, but right now I really need to piss."
As he's walking to the bathroom the bartender calls out "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!"
To which the man responds, "That's not a lion, that's a giraffe!"
...highballs on me.
I laid the giraffe down in the corner and walked to go to the toilet.
The barman said you can't just leave that lying there son .
I replied I'll stop you there my friend, that's not a lion it's a giraffe
The bartender looks at all of them and asks out loud, "What is this? A joke?!"
The man orders a pint for himself and 1 for his giraffe. They finish the drink and the man orders another 2 pints. This keeps going until leaving time when the man and giraffe go to leave. The giraffe collapses on the walk out but the man keeps on walking. The bartender shouts " you can't leave that lying here". The man turns back and says it's not a lion its a giraffe
I can't believe I blew fifty bucks back there!
I'll offer an alternative also as they are both stupid.
What did the giraffe say when he walked into the bar?
The high balls are on me.
Commence the booing, hissing and downvoting! Comments of 'lame' or 'gay' are also very welcome and offer highly valuable feedback.
...yeah I don't know how I'm going to pull this one off.
A man walks into a bar with his giraffe.
He buys himself a drink and he buys the giraffe a drink.
He drinks his drink.
The giraffe drinks its drink.
The giraffe passes out.
The man gets up to pee and the bartender says:
"Oi! Ya can't leave that lyin' there"
The man says: "It's not a lion. It's a giraffe."
The man and the giraffe start drinking. Being a giraffe in a bar of all places, the pair are quite popular and patrons buy them quite a few rounds of shots. As closing time approaches, the man and giraffe get up to leave, but the giraffe is too drunk and collapses on the ground. The man looks back, laughs, and keeps walking out the door.
The barman yells "Hey! You can't that lyin' there!"
"That's not a lion, it's a giraffe".
_____
Yes, it works better out loud.
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