Gin And Tonic Jokes
52 gin and tonic jokes and hilarious gin and tonic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gin and tonic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Gin And Tonic Short Jokes
Short gin and tonic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gin and tonic humour may include short martini jokes also.
- A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a gin and...... tonic." The Bartender asks "Why the big pause?" The polar bear replies, "I don't know, I've always had them."
- A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender "I'll have a gin...and tonic."
Bartender says "OK, but why the pause?"
"I was born with them." - A bear walks into a bar.. *Goes up to the bartender*
Bear: "Hi, I'd like a gin...................and tonic."
Bartender: "Sure, but what's with the big pause?"
*bear looks at own paws* - A bear walked into a bar... Waiter: What will it be pal?
Bear: Gin.....
....
....
and tonic
Waiter: Why the big pause?
Bear: I don't know. My dad had them too. - A dog walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a gin and...tonic." The bartender says, "What's with the big pause?"
"I don't know," says the dog. "I guess I was just born with them." - Three golf clubs walk into a bar. The putter ordered a beer, the pitching wedge ordered a gin & tonic.
The barman asked the third one if he wanted anything,
He replied No thanks, I'm the driver . - A bear walks into a bar Bartender: " What will you have sir?"
Bear: "Gin............ and tonic."
Bartender: "Why the big pause?"
Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too." - Arnold Schoenberg walks into a bar The barman asks what he will have
Schoenberg replies, "I'll have gin, but no tonic" - I need a Gin and Tonic. Yes sir, we have state of the art gyms with tonic saunas at each location.
- Have you ever had a British Tonic? It's like a regular gin and tonic, just a bit more l**....
Share These Gin And Tonic Jokes With Friends
Gin And Tonic One Liners
Which gin and tonic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gin and tonic? I can suggest the ones about tonic and cocktail.
- I'm on the Gin & Tonic diet and its going great.... so far I've lost 2 days.
- Gin is the Ionian mode of liquors... it will always resolve with tonic.
- What does the band Toto say when it orders a gin tonic? Hold the lime!
- Why the gin break up with the tonic? Their relationship was on the rocks
- I am on a gin and tonic diet So far I lost 3 days
- Why do jazz musicians drink gin straight? Because they can never find the tonic.
- So a guy walks into a bar... He sits down and asks for a gin and tonic.
Gin And Tonic Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about gin and tonic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ginger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gin and tonic pranks.
A bear walks into a bar and say "I would like a Gin...
... ...and tonic please."
To which the bartender replies, "Coming right up but whats with the big pause?"
The bear says, "Dunno, I suppose I got them from my Dad's side."
A bear walks into a bar...
He walks up to the counter.
The bartender says "What can I get you?"
The bear replies "I'll have a gin............and tonic."
The bartender says "What's with the pause?"
The bear says "These? Had em my whole life."
Buying drinks at a bar
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
A bear walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll ya have?"
The bear says, "A gin and...."
"...Tonic."
The bartender says, "What's with the big pause?"
The bear holds them up and says, "I dunno, my father had them too."
A polar bear walks into a bar and says "I'd like a Gin ............................. and tonic please". The barman asks "What's with the big pause?"
To which the bear replies "I don't know, I've always had them".
A customer at the restaurant I work at told me this one.
So a ham sandwich walks into a bar
He goes up to the bartender and says "gimme a gin and tonic"
The bartender looks at him and says
"I'm sorry but we don't serve food here"
A bear goes into a bar
walks up to the counter and blops down, doesn't say a word and after a while the bartender asks "what'll it be bud?"
The bear looks up from the counter and yes, "I think ill have..." and after 10 seconds goes, "a gin and tonic"
bartender nods and says, " well alright, but whats up with the pause."
Bear looks down and says, "what these? had em for years"
Three ducks walk into a bar...
The first duck walks up to the bar and the bartender asks "What's your name, what's your drink, and how was your day?" the first duck replies "My name is Bill, I'll have a rye and coke, and I had a GREAT day! I was in and out of puddles all day! Splashing around, gettin' wet, having fun!"
The second duck walks in. The bartender asks the duck "What's your name, what's your drink, and how was your day?" The duck says, "My name's Joe, I'll have a gin and tonic, and I had a GREAT day! I was in and out of puddles all day! Splashing around, getting wet, having fun!"
The third duck walks into the bar, the barkeeper asks him "What's your name, what's your drink, and how was your day?" the duck looks him dead in the eyes and replies "My name is Puddles, I'll have three shots of tequila, and I don't want to talk about my f**king day."
A bear walks into a bar...
And says to the barman: "Give me a gin..."
.
.
.
"And tonic."
The barman, curious, asks while preparing the drink: "Hey mate, why the big pause?"
To what the bear replies "I don't know... I guess my father had them too".
So a bear walks into a bar...
So a bear walks into a bar and sits at a bar stool.
"What'll it be?" says the barkeep.
The bear responds with, "I'll have a gin and.......................tonic.".
"What's with the big pause?" asks the barkeep.
The bear, surprised, exclaims, "I'm a bear!!!"
A polar bear walks into a bar
Bartender: What'll you have?
Polar bear: I'll have a gin and...................tonic.
Bartender: OK but why the big pause?
Polar bear looks down and says: I don't know...i was born with them.
A bear walked into a bar...
A bear walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "What can I get for you?"
The bear replied "I'll have a gin....... and tonic"
The bartender said "OK, but what's with the pause?"
The bear said "I was born with them."
A polar bear walks into a bar.
The bartender says, What'll you have?
The polar bear says, I think I'll have a gin and ...................................................................... ............................................................................ tonic.
The bartender says, Ok, but why the big pause?
The polar bear says, I don't know, I was born with them.
A bear walks into a bar and asks for a gin and............
.........tonic. The bartender says, "Okay, but why the big pause?" The bear looks down at his hands and replies, "I don't know, I was born with 'em."
A bear walks into a bar...
... goes up to the barman and says "I'd like a gin and tonic .............. and a packet of peanuts". The barman says "Sure, but why the big pause?". The bear holds up his hands and says, "These? Hey, I was born with them".
A polar bear walks into a bar
A polar bear walks into a bar. Bartender says "what can I get you?" Bear replies " I'd like a gin......... And tonic" Batender asks "Why the big pause?" The polar bear looks at his hands, turning them back and forth "I don't know, my dad had 'em too."
Man walks into a bar with a cat under his arm.
He orders a gin for himself and a tonic water for his pet.
"I'll serve your gin, but I won't make him anything", says the barman, pointing at the kitty.
"Why not", asks the man
"I don't want to end up in an unresponsive stupor", the barman replies
"What are you on about?" says the man, "he's the one drinking it".
"Yeah, but that's what happens every time I get catatonic"
A bear walks into a bar
He says to the bartender : "I'll have a gin... ... ... ... ... and tonic"
The confused bartender asks: "what's with the big pause"
"Oh these" *lifts up paws * "I was born with them"
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
A bear walks into a bar...
A bear walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender.
The bartender greets the bear, "Hey there! What can I get for you?"
The bear goes, "Umm, I'll have..."
The bartender checks his watch, waiting patiently for the bear's order.
Finally, the bear answers, "...a gin and tonic please."
The bartender replies, "Why the big pause?"
The customer retorts, looking slightly confused, "Because I'm a bear."
That went about as well as i expected.
"May i have a v**... gin and tonic?" "Whats v**...?" "It means without alcohol." "So you just want a tonic then?" "Yeah" "just a bottle of tonic then" "Yeah."
A polar bear goes into a bar . . .
. . .and says to the bartender: I'll have a Gin and… Tonic.
The bartender asks, Why the big pause?
And the polar bear replies, I don't know, I've always had them.
Donald Trump, Boris Johnson and Vladimir Putin go to a bar
Bartender (who is somewhat inexperienced) asks what they want to order.
Putin - "I'll have a V and C."
Bartender - "What's a V and C?"
Putin - "v**... and Coke."
Johnson - "I'll have a G and T."
Bartender - "What's a G and T?"
Johnson - "Gin and tonic."
Trump - "I'll have a 7 and 7."
Bartender - "What's a 7 and 7?"
Trump - "15."
An eagle and a pony walk into a bar..
They sit down. The bartender comes over, and the eagle says: I'll have a Budweiser and my friend pony here will have a gin and tonic.
Bartender: sure, be right back.
The eagle says to the pony: gotta go to the bathroom, I'll be right back.
In the meantime the bartender comes back and hands the gin and tonic to the pony and sets the Budweiser on the bar.
Here's your drinks, pony. And, if you don't mind me asking, why do you let that eagle do all of your talking?
Pony: (points to t**...) I'm a little horse
A bear walks in to a bar and says, I'll have a gin and..........tonic. The bartender asks, Why the big pause? The bear looks down for a second and says, I don't know,
I guess I was just born this way.
A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says...
A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says
What'll it be today?
The bear says give me a gin and.........................tonic
The bartender says sure thing but why the big pause?
The bear looks down and says I dunno? I was just born with them.
It's my cake day!
It's my cake day so a joke for everyone
A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says
What'll it be today?
The bear says give me a gin and.........................tonic
The bartender says sure thing but why the big pause?
The bear looks down and says I dunno? I was just born with them.
A Polar bear walks into a bar….
Sets down at the bar and orders a Gin……. AND tonic…. The Bartender then asks the Polar bear what's the the pause??? The Polar bear looks down confused and says I don't know, my Daddy gave them to me…