Gift Card Jokes
40 gift card jokes and hilarious gift card puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gift card that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Gift Card Short Jokes
Short gift card jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gift card humour may include short credit card jokes also.
- Buying yourself an Uber gift card is ironic. Cause it's a free ride when you've already paid.
- I ground up my ctrl key and gift wrapped it. The card reads: This is ground ctrl.
TO: Major Tom
(Merry Christmas David Bowie!) - For fathers day, I bought my dad a $100 gift card to the Apple Store... He said "Thanks for the phone charger, son."
- My most dad joke for real life eye rolls. *giving someone a gift card for a specific shop*
Don't spend it all in one place! ;) - Brooks Brothers just filed for bankruptcy so now I might never be able to use this $50 gift card on one sock.
- My dad bought me an amazon gift card for my birthday recently He told me not to spend it all in one place though
- What does this joke mean from jimmy kimmel show? Bed Bath & Beyond is currently offering store credit in exchange for Toys RUs gift cards. Said kids, Umm… I guess the whiskey decanter?
- I googled "Free Games" and I thought I was feeling lucky.. Guess who's just won a £500 Amazon Gift Card and a 2 weeks holdiay to Fiji?!?!
- Did you hear about the the world's ugliest gift card? Apparently it still has some redeeming features.
- Diamonds Could you gift me couple of diamonds, for our anniversary, girlfriend asked.
I gifted her a pack of playing cards.
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Gift Card One Liners
Which gift card one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gift card? I can suggest the ones about debit card and christmas card.
- Got a $100 Nike gift card Can't wait to buy that one pair of socks
- The guy who stole the spotify gift cards got caught He got 6 months.
- My grandpa gave me a gift card to Macy's He told me not to spend it all in one place.
- Trading ps or Xbox gift cards for ps3 fifa 15 coin accounts
- What gift card does santa get for naughty children? Kohl's
- I got a 99¢ gift card... ...FOR THE DOLLAR STORE!!!
- What is an expired gift card? Something that's beyond redemption.
- Gift Wallet - Get free gift card, awsome reward and make money
Amusing Gift Card Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about gift card you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christmas gift jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gift card pranks.
A little boy calls his best friend on Christmas day...
HEY! So what did you get for Christmas? The second little boy pauses and says well I got a gift card and a t-shirt…you?
The first little boy excitedly replies Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can't believe all you got was a gift card and t-shirt! to which the second little boy replies well…at least I don't have cancer…
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy calls in on radio show
**Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan
The ad in the paper said, "You think you're funny? Tell us your best pun, and you'll win a $200 Amazon gift card!"
Well, I just couldn't resist. I sat down and wrote not one, but 10 of my best knee-slappers, rib-ticklers, and witty turns-of-phrase. I sent my list of comedy gold to the paper, and then began daydreaming about what I would do with $200.
The day on which the paper announced the contest winner finally arrived! I scanned, and then carefully read the full-page of submissions, but the truth stared me in the face. Of my submissions that should have won, no pun in ten did.
Wife's Birthday Gift
John: "It's my wife's birthday."
Peter: "What's your gift to her?"
John: "I asked her what she wanted."
Peter: "What did she say?"
John: "Anything, as long as there is a diamond."
Peter: "What did you give her?"
John: "Playing cards."
Its still christmas time
I really appreciate how some people still give gifts to poor guys on the street, even after christmas.
For example yesterday I saw someone giving his credit card and 5k$ to a guy who only had a knife...
Bob's anniversary
Bob was out fishing when he realized that it was his wedding anniversary. Hoping to save face, he headed to shore. He left the marina and started driving to the nearest Hallmark store to buy his wife a card and a gift. His truck's engine started sputtering and died on the road.
Bob was fairly mechanical, so he figured he could fix the problem. He couldn't. Just to top it off, his cell phone was dead. and he couldn't call for help.
He slowly began to realize that he was stuck between a dock and a card place.
Business can be generated any how!
An advocate goes to a gift shop 7 days before Valentine's Day.
He bought 40 beautiful cards and wrote - "To my love !! I hope you recognize! Meet me in the evening, "I love you"
The shopkeeper asked: What is the matter?
So the lawyer said - I sent such cards to the nearby colony on the last Valentine's Day. In a few days, I got four cases of divorce.
This time I am sending 40 cards
I've never liked gift cards as gifts.....
just give me cash, it's a gift card to everything.
I'm so lucky to get gift cards by just few taps! Wanna be lucky too? Use my referral code: f35ccf7 to get 20 bonus coins.
My grandma got me a gift card to Walmart for my birthday.
She told me not to spend it all in one place.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Buy a prepaid gift card from Starbucks or another store for $25.
Then use it for yourself till it only has 25 cents left on it. Present it as a gift to your fool.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A postman is on his last day at work.
The people on his route all know and like him, and as he does his rounds on his last day people give him cards and little gifts.
When he gets to one house, the door opens and the lady of the house invites him in. She takes him to the table and serves him a beautiful breakfast. Afterwards, she invites him upstairs where she does her all to please him in bed. On his way out, she kisses him goodbye and slips him a dollar.
He says, "Thank you for the breakfast and the amazing s**..., but what's this dollar for?"
She says, "When we found out you were retiring, I asked my husband what we should do. He said, 'fuck him, give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The mailman's last day
A mailman was putting in his last shift before he started an office job. He was a popular man in the neighborhood, known for being courteous and prompt with his deliveries. As such, he was lavished with home-baked goods, bottles of wine and gift cards as he made his final rounds.
The mailman's final stop of the day was at the house of a wealthy lawyer, who had always treated the mailman like garbage. When he rang the doorbell, however, it was the lawyer's gorgeous wife, dressed in a revealing negligee, who answered the door. Wordlessly, she led him to the upstairs bedroom where they had the most amazing s**... the mailman had ever had in his life.
As he was about to leave, the lawyer's wife handed him a crumpled one dollar bill. "What was that all about?" he asked.
"Well, last night when I asked my husband what we should do for you, he said 'fuck him, give him a dollar.'"
A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones.
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns.
The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor.
He added a card and proceeded home.
After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift.
She opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder."
With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones."
