The Best 96 Ghost Jokes
Following is our collection of Ghost jokes which are very funny. There are some ghost poltergeist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ghost sex with ghost puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Ghost Jokes and Puns
Why do ghosts make bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
Who do ghosts worship?
Boo, DUH!!!
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost.
What do you get if you cross Bambi and a ghost?
Bamboo
I had the worst night last night..
The ghost of Gloria Gaynor appeared in front of my bed. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified.
Did you hear about the ghost who got put in prison?
He was charged with possession.
I bought a boomerang from a ghost yesterday..
I know it's going to come back to haunt me!
Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?
Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.
How do ghosts get ghouls interested in them?
They woooooooOOOOOOOooooo them.
Why can't ghosts make babies?
They have hollow weenies!
.... And I'll just see myself out.
How do Ghosts get Drunk?
Booze.
You can explore ghost revenant reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ghost deja dad jokes. There are also ghost puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Happy Halloween... Why did the Ghost enter the bar...
For the BOOOOS
Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar?
1. Because he was sheet faced.
1. Because he couldn't hold his boos.
Why did the ghosts haunt the bar?
For the boos.
why do ghosts like elevators?
it lifts their spirits
Why didn't the ghost get accepted to Harvard?
He wasn't a visible minority.
What does an alcoholic ghost drink?
BOO'S.
I'm gonna start a company where I drive people around to haunted places.
It'll be called Ghost Bus Tours
Stalin appears in Putin's dream...
Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country.
Stalin says "Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue."
"Why blue?" Putin asks.
"Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."
Why was the ghost late to the halloween party?
He had to take a sheet.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why did the ghost go to jail?
He got arrested for possession.
How does a ghost eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
Sorry
Last night I woke up and saw the ghost of Gloria Gaynor...
... at first I was afraid, I was petrified.
What do ghosts do when they're sad?
They get in an elevator to lift their spirits.
Why did the ghost cross the road?
To come back from the other side.
What was Snoop Dogg's ghost arrested for?
Possesion.
What happened to Casper the friendly ghost after his parents got divorced?
His mom got soul custody.
What did the ghost say to the bees?
Boo Bees
A ghost walks into a bar
"Sorry sir" the barmen says, "We don't serve spirits after eleven"
What's the difference between a suicidal ghost hunter and a weaboo alcohol taster?
One drinks bleach and watches spirits; the other drinks spirits and watches Bleach.
My 8 year old son wrote this...
What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?
A poultry-geist.
Why does everyone love when a ghost goes to a party?
Because he always brings the boos
What do you call a ghost detective?
An Inspectre
A ghost says to his ghostfriend..
"I don't think I'm gonna enter the next ghost-race.."
"Why not?" Asked the ghost-friend.
"Because I've lost every other one!" He cries sullenly.
"I believe in you, so enter the next ghost-race!"
"..Yeah. Yeah! I **can** do this!" Cried the ghost, filled with motivation.
Smug, the ghost friend said;
"That's the spirit!"
Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?
They would steal all the boos.
What do ghosts drink?
BOOOOOZE
I was sexually assaulted by a ghost.
Didn't see it cuming.
A ghost was arrested
And placed in a holding cell with others as they await processing. The ghost turns to the man and asks "what did you get arrested for?"
"Shoplifting" he says, "how about you?"
The ghost smiles and says "possession".
What did the jalapeno dress up as for Halloween?
A Ghost Pepper.
What room does a ghost not need?
A living room
After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery.
Halfway across, he's startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.
I thought you were a ghost, says the relieved teen.
What are you doing working so late?
Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. They misspelled my name!
What do ghosts get arrested for?
Possession.
How do ghosts become friends?
They bond over boos.
I made this up while sleep-deprived last night. I am sorry.
Why do ghosts have trouble meeting girls at bars?
Because they're only there for the boos.
Why did the ghost get in the elevator?
To lift his spirits.
How do ghosts make friends?
By buttering a flight of stairs.
Before my buddy died I asked him if there was football in heaven.
A few days later I saw his ghost. He said
"Good news, there is. Bad news, you're playing in goal tomorrow."
Did you hear about the baby ghost who joined the football team?
He heard the coach say they needed a little team spirit.
Did you hear about the stoner ghost?
He got arrested for possession
What do you call a french ghost that likes anime?
A oui-a-boo.
What did the ghost say at the party?
I'm just here for the boos.
Why are ghosts popular at parties?
Because they always bring the booze.
A Ghost Walks Into A Bar
"I'm just here for boos"
Why can't ghosts have babies?
Because they have halloweenies!
What do you call it when a Chinese ghost hits you with a stick?
Bam! *Boo*!
Why don't ghosts go out in the rain?
It dampens their spirits
A ghost walks into a bar...
The ghost orders a shot of whiskey. The bartender says "I'm sorry. We don't serve spirits here."
Why did the ghost barf all over his date?
He couldn't handle his boos.
I married a ghost but we're in couples counseling now...
He can just be so possessive sometimes, ya know?
For ghosts it must be hard to live...
They're always going through a lot of things
Haunted castle
A young American tourist went on a guided tour of a creepy old castle in England. "How did you enjoy it?" The guide asked when it was over.
"It was great," the tourist replied, "but I was afraid I was going to see a ghost in some of those dark passageways."
"No need to worry," said the guide "I've never seen a ghost in all the time I've been here."
"How long is that?" the tourist asked.
"Oh, about 300 years."
Guy and genie in a bottle
Guy finds a bottle and opens it. Out comes the ghost and says:
"I will grant you 3 wishes but there's a catch...for every wish you make every politician in the world gets double of that."
And the guy says: "I want a Ferrari"
Ghost: "Done, plus 2 for each politician"
Guy: "I want 10 million dollars"
Ghost: "Done, plus 20 million for each politician"
Guy: "I always wanted to donate a kidney"
What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a ghost?
Bamboo!
The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,
The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.
I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,
there is a stairway to heaven.
What do you call a Ghost without any Boo's?
SOBER!
Note: (am Dad) I told this joke to my kids at Olive Garden last night, and an old lady made sure to let me know how corny it was
Do you want to hear a joke about a ghost?
That's the spirit.
There is no ghost
While visiting a spooky historic house, a lady confided in the guide that she was terrified of ghosts and dreaded meeting one on the tour.
To reassure her, the guide told her that in all the years he had worked at the house, he had never seen a single ghost.
And how long have you worked here? asked the woman.
Three hundred years.
How do you talk to the ghost of a window washer?
With a Squeegee Board
What kind of ghost has the best hearing?
The eeriest.
Why do ghosts hate working out?
Because they have to exorcise
I visited a haunted house today, and my friends fled in terror.
I've been to this place for the last 271 years and haven't seen a single ghost.
Absolute cowards.
Never trust a ghost when it says "i love you"..
It was just the boos talking
After trick-or-treating on Halloween, a teen takes a shortcut through a cemetery.
Halfway across, he's startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man chipping away at a headstone. "I thought you were a ghost," says the relieved teen. "What are you doing working so late?" "Oh, those idiots," grumbles the old man. "They misspelled my name!"
What do you call a gay ghost?
A ghost. Why the hell would it be different?
A ghost walks into a bar at 4 am.
The bartender says: sorry, we don't serve spirits after 3.
What do you call a ghost that is ripped?
A swoltergeist
I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
Why did the ghost go to jail?
For giving boos to children
Why do ghost like to ride in elevators?
Because it raises their spirits!
What kind of key does a ghost use?
a spoo-key
Why do ghosts like to ride the elevator?
It lifts their spirits
happy spoopy day
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
Why do ghosts love health food
Because it's super natural
Why did the ghost cross the road?
Because it was a poultrygeist.
What do you call a chicken that is a ghost?
a poultrygeist
Ill be taking my downvotes in advance thanks
Why did the ghost get arrested?
For possession
My housemates are full of shit.
Refusing to pay rent, making up excuses about hauntings.
I've lived here for hundreds of years. Not seen a single ghost.
For my birthday I bought a pair of ghost bumblee earrings.
This way my face can always be between a pair of boo-bees.
Why was the ghost sad on Christmas Day?
Because he had no presence.
...sorry
Why was the ghost depressed?
Because it was a nobody
Why are all ghosts considered alcoholics?
Because they bring Boos everywhere they go!
Why did the judge deny the ghost bail?
Too much of a fright risk.
What should you feed a ghost to make them happy?
Goulash
What is the difference between a male and a female ghost?
A female ghosts has BOObs
I watch ghost videos whenever i take a poo
They scare the shit out of me
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ghost casper jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working ghost supernatural piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.