Getting Fired Jokes
36 getting fired jokes and hilarious getting fired puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about getting fired that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Getting Fired Short Jokes
Short getting fired jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The getting fired humour may include short getting sacked jokes also.
- My boss: You're fired. Me: *turns in gun and badge*
My boss: You're a waiter where did you get those - The most ironic part about working at the unemployment office is... If you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.
- Donald Trump is like a marshmallow... He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.
- A guy looking to get fired calls his boss and says, Hey boss, what's the difference between your daughter and tomorrow? I'm not coming in tomorrow.
- Two Eskimos sitting in a Kayak were getting cold, so they decided to light a fire, unfortunately it sunk the boat. Proving once and for all that you can't have your Kayak and heat it
- How is a gynecologist like a pizza delivery boy? They both get close enough to smell it, but if they eat it, they'll be fired.
- This girl wants to get me fired for giving her inappropriate shoulder rubs... Good luck with that, I don't even work there.
- What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire? "Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."
- Once I got fired from my job just because I was eating chips while I was working. And after that, I couldn't get a job at any of the other casino either.
- What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus? Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.
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Getting Fired One Liners
Which getting fired one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with getting fired? I can suggest the ones about fired and employee fired.
- Why did the Pepsi executive get fired? He tested positive for Coke.
- TIL subway workers can get fired for messing up one sandwich. Whoops, wrong sub.
- Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
- TIFU by getting fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired? She didn't have control of her pupils
- What happens when you put a zebra in a lion cage? You get fired from the zoo
- Why did the blonde get fired from an M&M factory? She kept throwing out the Ws.
- Why did the psychic get fired? Because she didn't see it coming.
- What does a candle do when it gets fired? It has a meltdown
- Why'd the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She threw away all of the W's
- Why did the feminist get fired from Subway? Because she refused to make a sandwich
- Why did the producer of Dirty Jobs get fired? He was a Mike Rowe manager.
- What do you get if you cross a river with a school bus? Fired.
- Why did the quadriplegic juggler get fired? He kept dropping the quadriplegic
- Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.
Amusing Getting Fired Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about getting fired you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean firing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make getting fired pranks.
Did you hear about the gay man getting fired from the s**... bank.
He was caught drinking on the job.
Why could the grill never keep a job?
He kept getting fired.
Sean Spicer, United Airlines CEO and Pepsi's PR team walk into a bar...
They're all getting fired, so drinking on a Tuesday is acceptable.
Why was the pyromaniac unemployed?
Because he keeps getting fired! :D
The women from the 1930's were so beautiful. I've always wondered what it would be like to have s**... with someone like that.
It was OK. Definitely not worth getting fired from the retirement home, though.
I took their advice and tried to sleep my way to the top.
But I kept getting fired for showing up late.
Why can't clay pots provide for their family?
They're always getting fired
Got a funny joke after getting fired
I have a bunch of unemployment jokes but none of them work
:) :) Hahahahahaa
I keep getting fired...
...and every time it happens, I walk into the Human Resources manager's office to find an alien sitting there coring apples with its pharyngeal jaws. Starting to see a pattern, I've come up with a device that will let me know *before* I enter the office, so I can merely pack up my things and go. I call it the HR Giger Counter.
I don't have much job security at the crematorium.
Everyone keeps getting fired.
My life is like an RPG
I just keep getting fired.
I was told I'd be getting fired for being really small...
Being a human cannonball is great!
A Sad Attempt
Q: After getting fired from his job at the painting factory, why did Claude Monet wear sweatpants every day for 2 straight weeks?
A: He didn't have anyone to Impress.
Q: What did the social outcast crow say when none of the other crows would let her join their cliques?
A: Someone please m**... me.
Q: In the movie The 6th Day, what did Arnold Schwarzenegger's character say when he found out that his wife had cheated on him with his clone?
A: I'm going to kill myself.
TIFU by getting fired from Subway by getting all of my customer's orders wrong
My doctor finally gave me a prescription for Ambien.
I was so embarrassed admitting I have trouble getting fired for my racist tweets.
TIFU by getting fired from my job.
Apparently they dont like it when you taste the samples at the s**... bank.
I used to work as a human cannonball...
I always kept getting fired.
Someone on the New England Patriots is getting fired
Whoever forgot to deflate the 12th ball
On a limo driver's first day at work...
He was commisioned to drive the Pope to the airport within the hour. Unfortunately, being a new driver, he got lost.
"It's all right, my son. I used to drive these streets in my youth. We'll get there in time."
The Pope took the wheel with the limo driver sitting in the back seat. He drove like an expert, taking sharp turns easily. The Pope, not wanting to be late for his flight, didn't realize how fast he was going. Soon the red and blue lights flashed behind him.
"It will be okay, son." The Pope reassured the limo driver, who was nervous about getting fired.
The police officer walked up to the driver's side. The Pope lowered the window, to the officer's surprise.
"Uh, do you know how fast you were going, your Holiness?"
"I didn't mean to, sir. It won't happen again."
The officer let the him off with a warning. He then called into dispatch.
"Any problems, officer?"
"No, ma'am...just stopped a really important person."
"How important?"
"Im not sure, but his driver was the Pope!"
I feel bad for Bear Grylls getting fired, he can survive anywhere...
...except this economy.
