The Best 30 Getaway Jokes
Following is our collection of Getaway jokes which are very funny. There are some getaway flee jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these getaway popemobile puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Getaway Jokes and Puns
Boy: What's a palindrome?
Teacher: racecar
{10 years later}
Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]
Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn decide to go rob a bank.
"Now, remember the plan," Ivy tells Harley.
"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" She says, and walks into the bank. Ivy waits in the getaway car.
Time passes. Five minutes...ten...Ivy starts getting worried...fifteen...
Suddenly Harley comes rushing out of the bank, dragging a safe behind her all tied up in rope. Behing her, the guard comes running out with his pants down.
Ivy groans. "Harley, you idiot! I said to tie up the guard and blow the safe!
Art Thief
An art thief pulls off an incredible heist at the Louvre. He loads a bunch of priceless paintings in the back of his van and drives off.
He is about to make the perfect getaway when his van suddenly stops. The authorities nab him, and one of them asks "what happened to the van?"
The thief replies:
"I did not have the Monet
to buy Degas
to make the Van Gogh"
A blonde and a brunette decide to rob a bank...
The brunette is the getaway driver. She told the plan to the blonde, told her to be back in less than 5 minutes, and dropped her off at the front door of the bank.
10 minutes goes by.... No sight of the blonde...
20 minutes goes by... No sight of the blonde...
Finally, after a half hour the blonde comes running out of the bank, dragging the safe by a long rope. As soon as the blonde gets into the car, the brunette sees the guard running as fast as he can towards them, with his pants at his ankles...
After a few moments of silence, the brunette realizes what happened and screamed to the blonde, " You IDIOT! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!!!"
Dyslexic criminals love weed.
It's the ultimate getaway drug.
me: what's a palindrome?
**teacher:** racecar
{10 years later}
**me: [bursting out of bank in ski mask]:** where's the palindrome?
**getaway driver:** [sitting in kayak]
Indians Robbing a Bank
An Indian man tries to rob a bank. He walks out of the bank with no money. The getaway driver asks him Where's the money? And why do you have so many computers? The bank robber replies They thougth I was tech support.
Recently, a burglar in Paris...
Recently, a burglar in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past heavy security, he was captured only two blocks away, when his getaway vehicle stalled in the middle of the road. When asked how he could mastermind such a daring crime, and then be caught only a couple blocks away, he replied,
I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
What did the broccoli say to the cauliflower when making their getaway?
"Floret!"
What do you call an art thief's getaway car?
A van go.
What did the art thief's say when they jumped in the getaway vehicle after a heist?
Van Gogh
You can explore getaway sirens reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean getaway escape dad jokes. There are also getaway puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
John, Bob, Tim, and Scott rob a bank.
John is the getaway driver who waits in the lot. Bob disables the alarms, Tim unlocks the safe, and Scott is able to locate the marked bills. Bob and Tim leave the bank and John drives them away.
They got off Scott-free.
Sometimes at Wal-Mart...
Sometimes at Wal-Mart I like to fill my grocery cart up with wonderful toys. Then I try to find a mother with annoying kids and I hand the kids one of the toys. I make a quick get-a-way so the mother can deal with the aftermath.
What did the police officer say to the failed porta potty thief that got crushed when it fell on him during his attempted getaway?
Stop! In the name of the law, you are under arrestroom!
Why did the robber take a bath?
Because he wanted a clean getaway..
What did the cauliflower bank robber say to the broccoli getaway driver?
Floret.
Two criminals are trying to get away from an art museum in their getaway van after stealing pieces from 3 artists.
One gets in and turns the key. The van won't start.
The other one turns and asks, "Why aren't we moving?"
"I have no Monet to buy the Gascan to make the Van Gogh."
Did you hear about the bandit that stole a truck of soap?
Police say he made a clean getaway.
Why did the burglar take a shower?
Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Last night someone broke into my house and stole all of my soap, bleach, and shampoo.
They made a clean getaway
The janitor at the bank managed to rob 21 million dollars.
He made a clean getaway!
What happened to the man who stole his pants from the drycleaners?
He made a CLEAN getaway!!!
Call my getaway driver spongebob
Because he never miss a shift
Someone broke into my house last night...
They took all my soap, shampoo, deodorant and toothpaste. They made a clean getaway.
[LPT] When you're being chased by the cops, make a clean getaway by
Driving through a car wash.
Never let a getaway driver use your toilet.
Skids everywhere.
Sometimes I come up with a punchline so terrible...
...so contrived and unfunny, that a mob forms around me brandishing flaming torches and pitchforks.
It happens frequently enough that I've devised a getaway technique for just this type of occasion...I run to the top of the nearest hill, curl up in a ball and throw myself down the other side at a high enough speed to make good my escape. It's unorthodox, I know, but it's just how I roll...
Never have a party pooper as a getaway driver
They always leave early
I used to be a "getaway" driver.
No wonder I never made any money as a taxi man.
Why did the thief take a bath?
To get a clean getaway
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the getaway monet jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working getaway breakout piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.