Getaway Jokes

42 getaway jokes and hilarious getaway puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about getaway that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Getaway Short Jokes

Short getaway jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The getaway humour may include short vacation jokes also.

  1. Boy: What's a palindrome?
    Teacher: racecar
    {10 years later}
    Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
    Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]
  2. Why do accordionists always play their instruments near the door? So they can make a quick getaway.
  3. What did the art thief's say when they jumped in the getaway vehicle after a heist? Van Gogh
  4. Two burglars tried to ransack a comedian's office, but they were caught while making their getaway. Turns out they couldn't take a joke.
  5. Did you hear about the bandit that stole a truck of soap? Police say he made a clean getaway.
  6. Last night someone broke into my house and stole all of my soap, bleach, and shampoo. They made a clean getaway
  7. What happened to the man who stole his pants from the drycleaners? He made a CLEAN getaway!!!
  8. Why are socially-aware western tourists avoiding Nice, France for their late-summer getaways? All that Muslim hatred can really run you down.
  9. Someone broke into my house last night... They took all my soap, shampoo, deodorant and toothpaste. They made a clean getaway.
  10. I forgot a can of paint in the getaway car the other night the police caught me red\-handed

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Getaway One Liners

Which getaway one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with getaway? I can suggest the ones about going away and great escape.

  1. What did the broccoli say to the cauliflower when making their getaway? "Floret!"
  2. What do you call an art thief's getaway car? A van go.
  3. Why did the robber take a bath? Because he wanted a clean getaway..
  4. Why did the burglar take a shower? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
  5. The janitor at the bank managed to rob 21 million dollars. He made a clean getaway!
  6. Call my getaway driver spongebob Because he never miss a shift
  7. [LPT] When you're being chased by the cops, make a clean getaway by Driving through a car wash.
  8. Never let a getaway driver use your toilet. Skids everywhere.
  9. What service do ghosts use to book vacation getaways? Scare B & B
  10. I used to be a "getaway" driver. No wonder I never made any money as a taxi man.
  11. My wife and I bought a Ford Escape.... We heard it was a great car for getaways.
  12. Why did the thief take a bath? To get a clean getaway
  13. I almost got away with bank robbery. But the getaway driver was on vacation
  14. What did the getaway driver do after his accomplice, Rice, robbed the bank? Pilaf.
  15. Dyslexic criminals love w**.... It's the ultimate getaway drug.

Getaway joke, Dyslexic criminals love w**....

Witty Getaway Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about getaway you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean road trip jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make getaway pranks.

Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn decide to go rob a bank.

"Now, remember the plan," Ivy tells Harley.
"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" She says, and walks into the bank. Ivy waits in the getaway car.
Time passes. Five minutes...ten...Ivy starts getting worried...fifteen...
Suddenly Harley comes rushing out of the bank, dragging a safe behind her all t**... in rope. Behing her, the guard comes running out with his pants down.
Ivy groans. "Harley, you idiot! I said to tie up the guard and blow the safe!

Art Thief

An art thief pulls off an incredible heist at the Louvre. He loads a bunch of priceless paintings in the back of his van and drives off.
He is about to make the perfect getaway when his van suddenly stops. The authorities nab him, and one of them asks "what happened to the van?"
The thief replies:
"I did not have the Monet
to buy Degas
to make the Van Gogh"

A blonde and a brunette decide to rob a bank...

The brunette is the getaway driver. She told the plan to the blonde, told her to be back in less than 5 minutes, and dropped her off at the front door of the bank.
10 minutes goes by.... No sight of the blonde...
20 minutes goes by... No sight of the blonde...
Finally, after a half hour the blonde comes running out of the bank, dragging the safe by a long rope. As soon as the blonde gets into the car, the brunette sees the guard running as fast as he can towards them, with his pants at his ankles...
After a few moments of silence, the brunette realizes what happened and screamed to the blonde, " You IDIOT! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!!!"

me: what's a palindrome?

**teacher:** racecar
{10 years later}
**me: [bursting out of bank in ski mask]:** where's the palindrome?
**getaway driver:** [sitting in kayak]

Indians Robbing a Bank

An Indian man tries to rob a bank. He walks out of the bank with no money. The getaway driver asks him Where's the money? And why do you have so many computers? The bank robber replies They thougth I was tech support.

Recently, a burglar in Paris...

Recently, a burglar in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past heavy security, he was captured only two blocks away, when his getaway vehicle stalled in the middle of the road. When asked how he could mastermind such a daring crime, and then be caught only a couple blocks away, he replied,
I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

Sometimes at Wal-Mart...

Sometimes at Wal-Mart I like to fill my grocery cart up with wonderful toys. Then I try to find a mother with annoying kids and I hand the kids one of the toys. I make a quick get-a-way so the mother can deal with the aftermath.

John, Bob, Tim, and Scott rob a bank.

John is the getaway driver who waits in the lot. Bob disables the alarms, Tim unlocks the safe, and Scott is able to locate the marked bills. Bob and Tim leave the bank and John drives them away.
They got off Scott-free.

What did the police officer say to the failed porta p**... thief that got crushed when it fell on him during his attempted getaway?

Stop! In the name of the law, you are under arrestroom!

Two criminals are trying to get away from an art museum in their getaway van after stealing pieces from 3 artists.

One gets in and turns the key. The van won't start.
The other one turns and asks, "Why aren't we moving?"
"I have no Monet to buy the Gascan to make the Van Gogh."

Sometimes I come up with a punchline so terrible... contrived and unfunny, that a mob forms around me brandishing flaming torches and pitchforks.
It happens frequently enough that I've devised a getaway technique for just this type of occasion...I run to the top of the nearest hill, curl up in a ball and throw myself down the other side at a high enough speed to make good my escape. It's unorthodox, I know, but it's just how I roll...

Getaway joke, Sometimes I come up with a punchline so terrible...