Get On My Level Jokes
64 get on my level jokes and hilarious get on my level puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about get on my level that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Get On My Level Short Jokes
Short get on my level jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The get on my level humour may include short next level jokes also.
- I've heard that students in Death Valley get terrible grades. They never get above C level.
- Why is getting high in netherlands is allowed ? So that they can be level with rest of the world.
- I applied to be a doorman but didn't get the job due to lack of experience!!!! That surprised me, i thought it was an entry level position. :(
- Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:
Hiring recent college grads.
REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers. - Is it easy to get a job at a restaurant? I don't have a lot of work experience, so ideally I'd be looking for an entree-level position.
- I applaud all the women who don't shave down there That's a level of self confidence I can really get behind.
- I got a fitbit to get a sense for my activity level After a few days of wearing it, it asked if I was a tree
- My kindergartner already knows middle school level biology When I tell her to get her backpack, she points at me and says, "eukaryote!"
- Valentines Day changes a lot the higher grade level you are In elementary, you got to get and give candies while getting compliments from everyone.
In high school, you get shot. - Seinfeld should have done an episode where they get stuck in an elevator. It would have really taken the whole 'show about nothing' to the next level.
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Get On My Level One Liners
Which get on my level one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with get on my level? I can suggest the ones about level and obey me.
- Why did the fish not get accepted into college? His grades were below sea level
- Laziness Level: I get jealous when it's bedtime in other countries
- I hate arguing with someone on an escalator It always gets taking to another level
- Chuck Norris can get up to level 40 in Fallout 3.
- How do you change the difficulty level on tinder? Get a better graphic card for yo face
- The comeback, 'Get on my level' 'Get on my level'
Reply: 'Okay dude, ill go downwards' - Why are sea levels getting higher? Cause of the sea w**....
The Funniest Get On My Level Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about get on my level you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ladder up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make get on my level pranks.
A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers.
At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes.
When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off.
When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test.
The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0.
The cop says, "How is this possible?"
The guy says,"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
There's a blonde. She enters a laughing contest.
There's 10 levels to the contest. She gets to the 9th level and bursts into laughter.
The host asks her "Why did you laugh, you could have won."
The blonde reply's, "I finally got the first joke."
The ladder to success
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess".
Twelve.
A man is walking down the street alongside a sizable construction fence. It's at least 8 feet tall, and it runs the whole length of the block.
About 3 steps deep, he hears a quiet voice saying
"Twelve. Twelve. Twelve." He thinks it odd, but continues walking. Almost immediately, he hears the same voice, but louder.
"Twelve. Twelve. Twelve" His curiosity is piqued, and he looks around for a crack in the fence as he walks. Again, the voice gets louder.
"Twelve! Twelve! Twelve!" It's about this time that he sees a knothole in the fence, just below eye level. He stoops to peer into the construction yard. All of a sudden, a stick comes out of nowhere and jabs him in the eye. He reels back in pain. There's a peal of laughter followed by,
"Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are 4 levels of cheerios in this world.
The levels are, from bottom to top, regular, chocolate, honey nut, and the highest level is the status of Froot Loops. Jim is a regular old cheerio, and is unhappy with his life. So he studies for weeks and weeks, takes the test, and becomes a chocolate cheerio. He parties for a while, makes lots of new friends, but then becomes bored. So Jim studies for months and months to become a honey nut cheerio, takes the test, and becomes a honey nut cheerio. Life as a honey nut cheerio is much better, there are many more places to go, and many more things to see and do. But Jim is greedy, and needs more from life. So he studies for years and years to become a Froot Loop, the highest of the high positions on the social ladder. He takes the test, but fails. Jim becomes depressed, and thinks about s**..., but sees light at the end of the tunnel. So he studies even more, takes the test, and passes. Jim is ecstatic, and makes many more friends. He decides to throw a party, so he goes to the supermarket to get drinks. First he looks at beer, but the line for beer was too long, so he moves on. He goes to get juice, but the line there was also to long. He went to the punchline but there was none.
This has been my stand-by joke since I was about 12
Two brothers want to go deer hunting but the only land nearby is owned by a grumpy farmer.
The decide to ask him if they can hunt on his property but when they pull up in the driveway neither brother wants to go knock on the door.
They play rock-paper-scissors and the older brother loses. He walks to the door and asks the farmer if they can go hunting.
The old farmer points to a nearby corral and says "See that horse? She's been mine for 20 years. She's blind and dying and I don't have the heart to put her down. If you do that for me, you boys can hunt on my land".
The older brother agrees and while walking back to the truck he thinks of a prank to play on his younger brother.
"I'll teach that lousy no-good farmer to say no!" he exclaims. "See that horse over there? Watch this!" He levels his rifle and shoots it! He hears gunshots next to him and looks at his brother.
"I got two of his cows" yells the younger brother, "lets get out of here!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to a community gym...
He sees a sign for a weight loss program which says, "Lose 5 pounds in one week!". Curious, he signs up for the program. He begins the program the next day and upon entering the designated area finds an attractive woman with a sign on her shirt that says,"If you catch me, you can have your way with me. You have 30 minutes." He chases her around the area for a week and sure enough loses 5 pounds.
Wanting to lose a bit more weight though, he decides to try the next level of the program. This program guarantees he'll lose 15 pounds in a month. He gets to the designated area and once again a smoking h**... with a sign saying,"If you catch me you can have your way with me." Runs around while he chases her for 30 minutes. This goes on for a month and he loses 15 pounds.
Feeling extra confident and wanting to look his absolute best for a college reunion coming up in two months, he signs up for the highest level of the course. It guarantees he'll lose 50 pounds in 2 months. He gets to the designated area and upon closing the door turns around to see a 300 pound man of pure muscle with a sign that says the following:
"If I catch you, I have my way with you."
Tom, Walter, and Mike are building a skyscraper...
Suddenly a stiff wind blows through and catches Tom off guard. He falls to his death. Walter and Mike rush down to the street level where a crowd has gathered around Tom's body.
"I suppose one of us should tell his wife", says Mike.
Walter sighed. "Well, I used to give him a ride home. I know where he lived and I'm good a delivering bad news. I'll do it."
So, Walter leaves Mike to help clean Tom off the sidewalk. About an hour later Walter comes back with a case of beer under his arm.
Mike says, "Hey! Where'd you get that?"
"Tom's wife gave it to me!"
"What? Why?"
"Well, when she answered the door, I asked her 'Are you Tom's widow?' She said "No, I'm not!' And I said "Bet you a case of beer you're wrong!'"
Bikers riding drunk
A cop was staking out the local pub for bikers riding drunk. At closing time, he sees a biker stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and fumble for his keys for five minutes.
When he finally gets on the bike, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and rides off.
When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0!
The cop says, "How is this possible?"
The guy laughs and says, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This fella is on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant lying on the ground, in distress.
He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot. He removes it, and the elephant t**... merrily away.
Twenty years on, the man is standing in the street in London watching a circus procession pass by. When the elephant gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk, lifts him b**... into the air, smashes him on the ground and jumps on him.
It was a different elephant.
Four guys were golfing when one gets a phone call and walks away
The other three guys start talking about how successful their sons have been. The first guy explains how his son started as an entry level stock broker, but now owns his own wealth management firm. The last time he got a friend a gift, he gave him a half-million dollar investment portfolio. The second guy then brags about his son. My son is so successful, he started out as a used car salesman but now owns his own dealership. He recently gave a friend a brand new Bentley as a birthday gift. The third guy, not to be outdone, says that his son started as a carpenter but now owns a construction company. The last gift he gave a friend was a brand new house. At this point, the fourth guy returns from his call. The other gentleman ask about his son, to which he replies "Well, I'm not too pleased with my son right now. He has been unemployed for the last year and a half, and he recently told me he is gay." As the other men look at him in horror, he continues "But he must be really good at what he does, because his last three boyfriends gave him a huge stock portfolio, and new luxury car, and a brand new house."
Bob died...
Harry, Jim and Bob are all building a huge skyscraper. They're sat on one of the high up girders, when Bob has a tragic accident and falls to his death. When Jim and Harry get back down to ground level, they try to decide who should tell Bobs wife. Then Jim has an idea.
"How about, we just do rock, paper, scissors, and whoever loses tells his wife?"
Harry agrees, and loses the game. An hour later, Harry comes back to the building site with a 6 pack of beer beneath his arm.
"How'd you get that" Jim asks, bewildered.
"Bobs wife gave them to me!" Harry replies.
"Why?"
"Well I thought it was best to just tell her it straight. I knocked on the door and said, Mrs. Geldof, I'm afraid you're a widow. She said she wasn't, so I said, care to bet me a six pack?"
A man is hired to carpet a little old lady's living room...
It takes him all day to get the job done, but when he's finally finished, he decides to reward himself with a cigarette. But he finds his cigarettes are not in his pocket and at the exact same time, he sees a lump underneath the carpet.
He doesn't want to tear up the carpet again, just to get a pack of cigarettes, so he gets a two-by-four and smashes the lump down until it's completely flat, figuring the little old lady will never know. It takes him nearly 20 minutes, but eventually the floor is completely and totally smooth and level.
He loads all his tools into the truck and he's about to drive away when the little old lady comes hurrying out the door.
"Young man!" she says. "Are these your cigarettes? I found them in the bathroom. And by the way... have you seen Petey, my pet hamster?"
Italian bread
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's vigor and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 year old said, Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies.
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
He said, Do you have any Italian bread?
She said, Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?
He said, I want 5 loaves.
She said, My goodness, 5 loaves …. by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard.
He replied, I can't believe it, everybody knows about this stuff but me.
Wittle Wabbit
little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"
The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."
Widdle wabbits
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits? "
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks,
"Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there? "
She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit. "
Some musician jokes
Q. Why don't violinists play hide and seek?
A. No one would look for them.
Q. How can you tell if a stage is level?
A. Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
Q. What is the definition of perfect pitch?
A. Tossing an accordion into a dumpster without hitting the sides.
Q. How do you get two guitarists to play in unison?
A. Shoot one.
Q. How can you tell if a cello is out of tune?
A. The bow is moving.
Q. Why are musician jokes so short?
A. So the bassist can understand them.
Q. If a conductor and a watermelon are both dropped from a 24 story building, what hits the ground first?
A. Who cares?
Q. How can you keep your violin from being stolen?
A. Keep it in the violin case.
You are driving a car...
You are driving a car, you have a firetruck behind you, a horse in front of you, a plane to your left flying ground level, a Police car to your right, all have the same speed as you, you are boxed in what you do to get out?
Answer^Stepdownfromthekidscarusellandleaveroomforsomkids
Widdel Wabbits
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks,
"Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,
"I don't think my python weally gives a thit."
The reason why men are not allowed to give advice in love-columns of magazines
Anita:
"Hi! I'm a lady aged 26, married with one kid. Last week my husband was off duty and I had to drive alone to work. I left my husband with the maid and my baby at home. I drove for just about 2 miles from home and my car engine started to overheat so I turned back to get the other car. When I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid!!! I don't what to do now. Please help."
Reply by male columnist:
"Dear Anita,
Overheating of engine after such short distance can be caused by problems associated with the carburetor. You need to check the oil and coolant level in your engine before you start your journey. You must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid problems in future. Hope this helps.".
PS: Clichéd, but still funny in my opinion!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer was selling his peaches door to door.
He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"
She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"
He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.
Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"
The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.
Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"
He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.
She asked , "Why on earth are you crying?"
Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now I think I'm gonna get s**... out of my peaches."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why couldn't the rainbow trout get on the same level as his father?
Because he was too flambouyant.
The reason men aren't allowed to run advice in "Love Columns" in magazines and newspapers..
Anonymous:
Hi! I'm a lady aged 26 married with one kid. Last week my husband was off duty and I had to drive alone to work. I left my husband with the maid and my baby at home. I drove for just about two miles from home and my car engine started to overheat so I had to turn back to get another car. When I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid. I don't know what to do now. Please help!
Reply:
Dear Anonymous,
Overheating of engine after such short distance can be caused by problems associated with the carburettor. You need to check your oil and water level in your engine before you start your journey. You must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid problems in future.
Hope this helped you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Irish Joke
p**... walks into a chemist ,pulls out a small bottle from his pocket, removes the cork and addresses the pharmacist.
"Wid ye mind tastin that fir me"?
The man takes a swig and screws his face up in disgust. "Thats terrible" he says. "So bitter".
p**... replies with delight "Oh tats good news, they told me to bring a sample here and get tested fir me sugar levels".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't Trump supporters ever get into higher levels of mathematics?
Cause they can't grasp the concept of integration.
(all credits to my friend if he reads it here but didn't post it himself!)
A driver was swerving all over the road...
... then was pulled over by a police officer. The police officer knocked on the door and said,
"Sir, please blow into this machine"
"Sorry officer, I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I have asthma, and it might trigger an asthma attack"
"Okay, could we get a blood sample then?"
"Sorry officer, I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I have diabetes, and it might upset my blood sugar level"
"Okay, then just step outside your car and walk in a straight line"
"Sorry officer, I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk"
A precious little girl walks into a Pets Mart Shop and asks,
A precious little girl walks into a Pets Mart Shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,
"I don't think my python weally gives a thit !!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You don't want to get busy in an elevator.
Having s**... in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Note: I did check the sub for this joke. Couldn't find it (I admit I didn't search too deep but I hope you enjoy this one).
I apologize in advance if this has been reposted.
Driver's License Test Question:
You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are travelling on), and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
.
.
.
.
Get off the Merry-Go-Round, you're drunk!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A kid tells his mom about a video game
The kid says to his mom about a game, and he's on the final level, level 6**....
The mom gets angry and says Isn't that the devil's number? Quit the game now!
So the son says I guess it was *FATE* that brought us to this point
Never seek advice from a man..
I am a lady aged 26, and my husband is 34. I left my husband with the maid and our baby at home. After driving for just about 2km from home, my car engine started to over heat. So I had to return and get the other car. When I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid. I Don't know what to do. Please help me!!!
*Advice:*
Over heating of the engine after such a short distance can be caused by problems associated with the radiator. You need to check the oil and water levels in your engine before you start your journey. You must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid such problems in future. I hope my answer will help solve your problem.
3 Kids are arguing about who's dad is the fastest...
At lunch, the first boy says his dad is the faster because he is a brick layer & when he drops a brick from the 5th floor he can run to the ground level & be there before the brick hits...
Not bad says the 2nd boy, but my dad is faster.
He is a professional archer. When he shoots an arrow at the bulls-eye he can reach it before the arrow does...
That's pretty fast, says the 3rd boy, but not as fast as my old man.
My dad works for the Government as a public servant, & when he finishes work a 5pm, he can get home by 2:30pm...
An exercise for people who are not in good shape.
Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to 10-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
Thor gets a hit on his tinder profile...
After a night of wild, unrestrained god-level passion he notices his date looks a little knackered.
Sorry, but I'm Thor. He says
The girl looks up and says, You're Thor? I'm tho thor I can't thpeak
Aspirations
A young boy one day decided to make his desire to become a big writer.
"I want to write things that the people will read all around the world, something that the people will react with a very high emotional level such as scream, cry, get mad and make them suffer" He said.
Now he works at Microsoft and he writes error messages.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
potato bag strenth power
**An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to increase your strength
An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
—Beverly g**...
A cute little girl walks into a pet store and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."
God: Noah, it's time to build another boat.
Noah: Oh, so soon! But hey, you are the boss. So the same, animals, two by two?
God: Actually no. We forgot the fish last time so this time this will be just for the fish.
God (again): Also, build it with more than one deck.
Noah: Big boat, only fish and several levels. Got it boss!
God: And another thing. Not just any fish. I want only Carp on the new boat.
Noah: So, let me get this right God.
You want a "Multi Storey
Carp Ark!"....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Every time I get out of the shower and look into the mirror, I see an a**....
Maybe I should have installed it at eye level
