The Best 32 Gesture Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Gesture jokes. There are some gesture handshake jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gesture gently puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Gesture Jokes and Puns
Four guys where getting ready to tee off on the 18th hole when a funeral procession started coming down the road...
...one of the men took off his hat and bowed his head. Another said, "Marty, that is the nicest gesture I have ever seen out of you." Marty replies, "It's the least I could do, we where married for 28 years."
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway...
... he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, " Why then don't you eat the peanuts yourself?".
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth," she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."
Four gents are on the golf course...
... on the second tee box. As gent number one steps up to the tee, a funeral procession drives by. Seeing the procession, he stops what he is doing, folds his hand, and bows his head out of respect. After the procession finishes, the other gents observe that, although it was a nice gesture, it was a little excessive to stop play like that. Gent number one replies "It was the least i could do ... I was married to her for 45 years!"
A lost & found note as a gesture of goodwill.
Whoever lost a Rolex I report "the time now is 20 minutes after seven"
Little John in 1-minute Composition
The teacher asked the class to write a composition that involved at the same time sex, royalty, and religion.
Not even two minutes had passed when Little John handed in his.
The arm of the teacher still raised to stop him, but she stopped the gesture as she read what he wrote:
And the queen said: Oh, my God, so good!
Two men were playing golf..
when the man about to tee off noticed a funeral procession moving down the road next to the golf course. He stopped, put his club away, took off his hat and waited respectfully for them the pass. "My friend that was a very decent and respectful gesture" his friend commented. "The least I could do, I was married to her for eighteen years after all"
I drop kicked a Japanese woman today
After holding the door open for her, she said to me "Sank you"
How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture!
Selfless until the end.
For Pontius Pilate's birthday, the Roman soldiers lined the street to his house with Jews nailed to crosses. Walking slowly, Pilate was admiring the gesture, when he spotted Jesus on the last cross... he was was muttering something. Pilot exclaimed "fetch me a ladder! if the King of the Jews has something to say, I want to hear it!" Reaching the top of the ladder, Pilate moves in close to hear Jesus in a dry, half-audible voice, singing "Happy birthday to you..."
George Bush swears he sees Moses in the crowd at a rally....
.....and he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to meet such a well-known biblical celebrity.
He yells at him, "Sir, you look a lot like a man from the old testament. Are you Moses?" Looking around, the man slowly shakes his head side to side denying the gesture. Bush is not convinced.. one more time he asks, "Sir, I don't see the need to lie to me; are you Moses?" Once again, a back and forth shaking of his head. Bush tells his security detail to interrogate him.
His lead security agent asks the man in complete confidence, "The beard, the cloak, the staff, the wrinkled skin... you look exactly like Moses." Moses replies, "Because I am."
Confused, the security agent asks, "Why didn't you just tell the president that then? What harm could it have caused?" As a matter of factly, Moses replies, "The last time I talked to a Bush, I was stranded in a desert for 40 years."
Setting someone on fire
Setting someone on fire is a very heartwarming gesture.
How to tell your boss is a douchebag
I thought it was a very nice gesture of my coworkers when my Dad passed to circulate a card. Then I opened it... all I could do was laugh. What an asshat.
You can explore gesture respectful reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gesture gratefully dad jokes. There are also gesture puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
In a very touching gesture, Gary Anderson attempted to call up Blair Walsh and offer his sympathy.
Unfortunately, they just missed each other.
I bought my friend a copy of The Lord of the Rings but he didn't seem that pleased.
He though it was a Tolkien gesture.
A good will gesture . . .
A friendly chap from a local charity asked for a donation towards restoring the community swimming pool today. . . I gave him a bottle of water.
A curvy blonde walks into a drugstore
She asks the clerk, "Can you show me where the flashlight batteries are?".
The clerk says, "Sure." and wiggled his fingers at her in a come-hither gesture. "Come this way", he continued.
She replied "If I could come that way, I wouldn't need the flashlight batteries."
A man brings home flowers to his wife
A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She's so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them.
Her husband confused looks down and goes "What's that for?"
His wife replies "For the flowers of course"
He thinks for a moment and asks "Don't we have a vase?"
Today I saw someone waving.
It was i nice gesture, so I waved back. It's fun to be a lifeguard.
My best joke.
During the second world war there was a camp leader who out of the kindness of his heart rescued 160 Jewish people and provided them with warmth, shelter, bottles of water and loaves and loaves of bread. You think this was a kind gesture? You should of seen Hitler; he made 6 million Jews toast!
What do you call a small gesture?
A microwave.
My wife opened the car door for me today.
Would have been a good gesture if only we were not going 75MPH.
I was in line at the drive-thru, and when I pulled up to the window to get my food, the cashier said "I'm so sorry about the wait."
I appreciated the gesture, but I didn't think she was that fat.
You can never win
So, the Jewish guy gets two ties from his mom for his birthday.
A couple of weeks later his mom comes for a visit, and he decides to wear one of his ties as a thank you gesture.
He opens the door when she knocks on the door, and the first thing his mom says:
"What's wrong with the other tie?"
Some consider giving the middle finger to be a religious gesture
It's a sign of the crossed.
Bless the little miscreants, they are throwing gravel . . .
Such a gneiss gesture.
My wife just opened my car door for me.
Would have been a nice gesture had we not been going 70mph.
My lesbian neighbors bought me a new Rolex for my birthday.
I'm more of an Omega guy myself, but it was still a nice gesture.
Kissing someone while they are sleeping is the purest gesture off love.
Unless you are in prison.
As a gesture of good faith, Trump and some of his former staff known to be white nationalists are trying to raise money for victims of the Charlottesville march by running in a charity race.
It's a 3K.
My wife decided to open the car door for me today.
It would've been a nice gesture had we not been going 70 mph.
Ricky Nelson would be proud
I had a dream the other night. I was at an Italian restaurant, as I was walking in unnoticed Lou Abbot and Mary Tyler Moore waiting to be seated and Corey Hart was leaving having already ate. I made a gesture and said Hello Mary, Lou, and goodbye Hart.
A doctor and a physicist
A physicist and a doctoe both love the same woman. The doctor brings the woman a red rose every day, the physicist on the other hand brings her an apple every day.
One day the woman asks the physicist: 'I understand the gesture with the red rose, but what about the apple?'
The physicist anwsers:'Isn't it obvious? An apple a day keeps the doctor away!'
I was given a very expensive looking camera as a gift today.
They were foreign tourists, so I didn't understand the rest, but it was still a nice gesture.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gesture judgement jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working gesture hand piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.