Germany France Jokes
46 germany france jokes and hilarious germany france puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about germany france that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Germany France Short Jokes
Short germany france jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The germany france humour may include short france war jokes also.
- In the geography class: -What is the capital of Germany?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of Poland?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of France?
-Berlin!
-Good job, Adolf! - Now that Macron has won in France and Merkel heads Germany... they shall be known by their celebrity couple name: Mackerel.
- Two germans are on vacation France had closed the border at Germany, so they couldn't get through. The germans enter through belgium instead.
- France vs Germany was a close match There were lots of shots and it ended in a shootout apparently.
- Why did France really surrender to Germany? *h**... was being Vichy.*
[Just thought of this earlier in the shower...
Had gas ever since.]
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Germany France One Liners
Which germany france one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with germany france? I can suggest the ones about german war and french war.
- Germany used to have a large French speaking region. It was called France
- What did Germany say to France after conquering Poland? Europe next.
- Germany and France go to war. Who loses? Belgium
- France and Germany are at war again, who loses? Belgium
- WW3 starts... and Germany instantly attacks their ally France out of muscle memory.
- A decently funny war joke Germany and France go to war. Who loses?
Belgium - Why did it take Germany six weeks to take over France? Someone was probably Stalin.
- How did Germany defeat France in 1940? A Low Blow.
- How can Germany invade France? Lengthwise expansion.
- [Topical subject] France v Germany...ended in a shootout.
- France vs Germany was a close game... it ended in a shootout.
- What did h**... say when Germany successfully invaded France? Nice.
Germany France Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about germany france you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean german language jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make germany france pranks.
A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.
She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."
"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!"
"Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"
"That's easy, Berlin."
"And the capital of France?"
"Berlin"
"And the one of Poland?"
"Also Berlin."
"Good job Adolf, good job!"
A boy is studying for his geography quiz
His mom asks him:
"What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin", says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin."
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin."
"You're so smart, Adolf, I know you'll do great on your quiz."
Geography class
-Whats the capital of Germany?
-Berlin teacher
-Whats the capital of France?
-Berlin again teacher
-Whats the capital of Poland?
-Still Berlin teacher
-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!
-We'll see about that
A mother is helping her son revise for a geography exam
She asks "What's the Capital of Germany?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then asks "What's the Capital of France?"
He replies "Berlin."
She asks "What's the Capital of Russia?"
He replies "Berlin."
She finally asks "What's the Capital of Poland?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then hugs him and says "I'm sure you'll do great, Adolf"
A young boy was getting ready for a geography test he was going to take at school.
As he studied, he decided to ask his mother for help:
"Mom, will you help me revise for my geography test?"
"Sure honey, let's see... what's the capital of Germany?'
"Berlin!"
"Good job! What about the capital of France?"
"Berlin!"
"Way to go! What's the capital of the US?"
"Berlin!"
"Good job, little Adolf!"
Dad, my Geography teacher Adolf will give me a quiz tomorrow.
Sure Hans. Let me ask you some questions.
Capital of Germany? Berlin
Capital of France? Berlin
Capital of Russia? Berlin
Capital of Poland? Berlin
Capital of USA? Tokyo
Capital of China? Tokyo
Hotel? Trivago
That's my boy.
A huge earthquake shook Mexico
Around 3000 people died.
The world combined efforts to help Mexico during these hard times.
England gave medicine.
France sent food.
Germany made huge donations.
USA sent 3000 Mexicans to replenish the stock
A French man and a German sit at a bar
The French man says to the German, In France, we have fun by going to the park, eating bread with cheese, and mocking tourists. What is it that you Germans do for fun? The German replied, In Germany we ride the autobahn, visit historical sites, and learn about the world. Pah! , the French man says, you Germans do not know what fun is. The German replied, The last time we had fun, the Americans had to save you.
Around 1900, in a school in Austria
The 11-12 year olds were quizzed on European capitals. Teacher asks boy:
What is the capital of Germany? "Berlin!"
What is the capital of France? "Berlin!"
What is the capital of Great Britain? "Berlin!"
Teacher: No son, you failed and were wrong on 2 out of the 3, what was your name again?
"Adolph!"
A girl calls a psychic saying:
*"I dreamed that I had one leg in Spain & the other in Germany. What does that mean?"*
Psychic: *"That you gonna pee on France"*
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^Français, ^je ^vous ^aime
^
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush', ‘d**...', and ‘Colon'. Need I say more?
Linguists from France, Italy, and Germany were debating which language was the most beautiful.
The German representative was waving his hand frantically to be chosen to speak, when the French representative began to speak.
"French is certainly sublime. Consider the word Papillon. How could the word for butterfly be more beautiful than the butterfly itself
The German is dying to speak, but then the Italian chimes in.
"Italian is as beautiful as French. Our word for butterfly is Farfalle, also more beautiful than the insect itself"
Finally it's the German's turn. He is dying to speak and blurts out,
"AND VAT IS WRONG WITH SCHMETTERLING!?"
Tom is attending his best friend's wedding
So, he started preparing for the wedding.
He bought the perfect gifts, the perfect shoes and all, went to the best barber, got everything right except for his suit.
He went to many stores, yet he couldn't find what he was looking for.
2 days before the wedding, Tom travels to Europe, goes to France, Italy, Germany, you name it, but he can't find the perfect suit.
2 more hours to the wedding, Tom is going around at his hometown, but no luck.
He finally goes home, looking disappointed and broken.
His mother felt sorry for him, but his dad wasn't.
Mother: why don't you help your son find what he's looking for?
Father: nah, don't worry about Tommy, he'll figure.
If World War One were a bar fight.
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.
Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.
Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a bar stool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
The Anti-Thieves Machine
Science is amazing. Some european scientists made a breakthrough and invented an Anti-Thieves Machine. It detects and catches the thieves in the streets of various cities through the world with an accuracy of 99,9%! Of course that various countries were interested. Germany got 2, France got 3, Greece got 4, Italy got 5 and Portugal, true to its *showoff* image, got 10.
After one hour, in Germany, 100 hundred thieves got caught. In France more than 250 thieves got caught. In Greece more than 350 thieves were caught. In Italy, more than 500 thieves were caught. In Portugal, after 30 minutes, all the machines were stolen.
Moses is walking down the mountain with the ten commandments...
... as he looks over them he thinks this is just too much to ask a society to do all at once. He has a plan! Just go around the world and give out one commandment at a time.
So he travels to France. "Hello people of France, I want to give you a commandment from God." The French say "Okay we're listening." Moses replies "Thou shall not commit adultery!" The French look at him and say "It's okay we don't need a commandment right now."
So he travels to Germany. "Hello people of Germany, I want to give you a commandment from God." The Germans say "Okay we're listening." Moses replies "Thou shall not Kill!" The Germans chuckle say "It's okay we don't need a commandment."
So Moses travels to Israel. "Hello people of Israel, I want to give you commandment from God." The Israelis say "Okay, how much are they?" Moses replies "Um... well they're free" The Israelis look at him and say "Okay we'll take ten."