The Best 35 German Shepherd Jokes

Following is our collection of funny German Shepherd jokes. There are some german shepherd raise paw jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these german shepherd english puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest German Shepherd Jokes and Puns

A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a cat died.

In Heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in.

The German Shepherd said, I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.

Good! said God. Sit at my right side. Then God asked, Doberman, what do you believe in?

The Doberman answered, I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master.

Aha, said God, you may sit on my left.

Then God looked at the cat and asked, And what do you believe in?

I believe, replied the cat, that you are sitting in my seat.

A German Shepherd, Doberman And Cat Have Died And Gone To Heaven

A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died.

All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.

The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master."

Good," says God. "Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?

The Doberman answers: "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master."
Ah," said God. "You may sit to my left."

Then he looks at the cat and asks, "And what do you believe in?"

The cat answers: "I believe you're sitting on my seat."

What do you get when you crossbreed a Chihuahua with a German Shepherd?

A que-nein.

My neighbors think I'm having sex with a 3 year old.

I tried to explain it to them but they didn't seem comforted when I cleared up the fact that my German Shepherd is actually 21 in dog years.


A German Shepherd went to a Western Union telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:
"Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another "Woof" for the same price."
"But," the dog replied, "That would make no sense at all."

Two guys and their dogs are walking down the street...'s got a german shepherd and the other's got a chihuahua.

They get hungry so the german shepherd guy suggests they grab a bite to eat at the restaurant on the corner, but his friend says, "They won't let us into a restaurant with our dogs!"

"Just follow my lead," says the first guy.

He walks up and the maitre'd says, "What are you, nuts?! You can't come in here with a dog!"

"But it's a seeing eye dog," the guy with the german shepherd explains.

"Oh, excuse me, now I understand. Go right ahead," says the maitre'd.

The next guy walks up and the maitre'd stops him too. "You can't come in here with a dog!"

Following his friend's cue the guy says, "But it's a seeing eye dog!"

The maitre'd looks skeptical and says, "Sir - that's no seeing eye dog. It's just a chihuahua."

The guy jumps back in shock... "WHAT!? They gave me a chihuahua!!?"

Two guys were walking their dogs....

Two guys were walking their dogs-one had a German Shepherd and the other had a Chihuahua. The man with the Shepherd suggested going into a bar for a drink. The other man says, "They're not going to let dogs into the bar." And the first guy says, "No? Watch this." So he puts on some dark glasses, acts like the German Shepherd is a seeing-eye dog, walks into the bar and orders a drink. And no one says anything. So the second guy takes out some dark glasses, slips them on, and walks his Chihuahua into the bar. The bartender says, "Sorry-we don't allow dogs in here." And the man says, "It's okay-it's my seeing-eye dog." The bartender laughs and says, "This Chihuahua is your seeing-eye dog?" And the guy says, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"

"I have the brain of a german shepherd and the body of a teenage boy.

They're both in my trunk and I want you to see them."

What do they call pastors in Germany

German shepherds

What do you call a German Shepherd in a U-boat?

A sub woofer

Hi, I'm from Brazil

and I can't go to the backyard, I'm afraid my german shepherd will laugh instead of bark at me...

You can explore german shepherd italian reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean german shepherd polish dad jokes. There are also german shepherd puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My friend came over to visit the other day.

He saw my German Shepherd in the corner licking his balls and said "boy...I sure wish I could do that."

I said "well you should probably pet him first, he can be pretty mean."

I have an uncle who has 2 German Shepherds, named Rolex and Timex


Wanna see my impression of a German Shepherd?


What's the difference between a German Shepherd and a bad comedian?

Nothing, they always come back with the same schtick.

how you call the pastor that come from Germany ?

German Shepherd

My dad grew up herding sheep in Germany

He was a German shepherd.

A German shepherd walks into a bar

and says Hey, I'm a talking dog. Other dogs can do tricks, but have you ever heard one talk? How about a drink for a dog who's articulate and erudite?"

The bartender says, Sure, the toilet's there, first door on the right.

What should you do if you get attacked by a German Shepherd?

Take his crook

Did you hear about the chihuahua that killed the German Shepherd

It got stuck in its throat.

Why did the Nazis feed their farmers dog biscuits?

Because they were German Shepherds.

How does a German Shepherd greet you?

Guten dog!

Poodle: My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I'm as nervous as a cat. Collie: Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?

Poodle: I can't. I'm not allowed on the couch.

Where did Hitler take his sick German Shepherd?

To the veteran-aryan

What's Brown and Black and looks good on an escaped prisoner

A German Shepherd

What do you call a Pastor in Germany?

A German Shepherd.

Every morning this week a German Shepherd has been taking a dump on my lawn

Yesterday he brought his dog.

Good news! There are well over 100 labs in America working on developing a vaccine.

Just wait til they get the German shepherds involved!

I have the mind of a German Shepherd and the body of and old man...

...and they are both in the trunk of my car.

Sheepdogs aren't used to herd sheep in Germany

They use German Shepherds instead

What's a Korean's favourite take on a traditional British meal?

German Shepherd pie.

A German shepherd peed outside my house yesterday...

Next week, he's bringing his dog

I am dual citizen

Half German half shepherd. Woof.

What did the sad German Shepherd name his autobiography?

Wein Kampf

How do you greet a German Shepherd in their native language?

Guten Dog!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the german shepherd von jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working german shepherd austrian piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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