German Sausage Jokes
73 german sausage jokes and hilarious german sausage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about german sausage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest German Sausage Short Jokes
Short german sausage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The german sausage humour may include short german food jokes also.
- Never trust German butchers! They said they had the best sausages in the world
But they kept showing me their wurst. - With everything so expensive this year, it could be just German sausage and cheese for Christmas dinner. But that's a Wurst-Käse scenario.
- My company was recently bought out. Now, instead of making baseball equipment we're making German sausages... ...things have gone from bat to wurst.
- I thought I might try my hand at telling a German sausage joke I mean, what's the wurst that could happen?
- German food is terrible. Sausage here, sausage there, sausage everywhere. German food is die Wurst.
- I recently went on holiday to Europe after studying languages when I was younger... It's turns out my German has gone from Bath to Sausage
- Did I ever tell you about the time I traded my German sausage for a seabird? I took a tern for the wurst.
- I was in a pub and I ordered a large cup of beer and a German sausage. It took them 20 minutes just to get me the cup of beer. I am afraid the wurst has yet to come.
- Common ground among the German people What are the German people in agreement with when discussing over-entitled children and expired sausages?
That Spoiled Brats are the Wurst - Don't ever challenge a German sausage maker to a competition. It brings out the *wurst* in him.
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German Sausage One Liners
Which german sausage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with german sausage? I can suggest the ones about sausage and bratwurst.
- I have a phobia of German sausage Yes, I fear the wurst
- I am developing a fear of German sausage... I fear the wurst
- I think I've developed a phobia of German sausages I keep on fearing the wurst
- Do you want to hear my German sausage joke? It's the wurst.
- My friend has just fed German sausage to a bird. He's taken a tern for the wurst.
- I often worry about German sausages Basically I fear the wurst.
- I hate German sausages They are die Wurst I've ever tasted.
- I hate jokes about German sausage They're the WURST!
- My German friend really hates sausage He thinks its the wurst
- Germans don't have bad sausages.. They have Wurst
- Don't you just hate jokes about German sausages? They are the wurst.
- What do you think of german sausages? I think they are the wurst...
- I developed a phobia of German sausages I fear the wurst
- Not be a brat, But German sausage jokes are the wurst.
- Did you hear the joke about the German sausage? It was the wurst.
Laughter German Sausage Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about german sausage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wurst jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make german sausage pranks.
English couple adopt a German baby boy 'Engelbert'....
.....now six years old Engelbert has never spoke a word, everyone just assumed he is mute.
Then one day at the breakfast table Engelbert shouted (with a typical German accent) mummy these sausages are not cooked through!
Mummy rushed across and shocked with disbelief said Engelgert you can talk, how come you never said anything for six years?
(German Accent again) Engelbert replied up until now everything has been quite satisfactory.
A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...
The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"
The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"
The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The cat starts furiously l**... it off, meowing loudly. "See - he does it voluntarily and with songs!"
An American woman is hiking through Germany...
She's enjoying taking in the sights and immersing herself in the culture. But one day, while hiking through a wooded area, she comes across an elderly German man taking a leak on the side of the path. He's hardly subtle about it; letting his sausage hang out for the world to see. Immediately the woman averts her eyes! "Oh, g**...!" she exclaims. The Old German man, just finishing up, winks suggestively at the woman before zipping up his fly and walking away. "Danke schön"
I was cornered in an alley way by a German holding a sausage
I looked him straight in the eyes and bravely said "go on, do your wurst"
I love eating German sausage....
but it always gives me the wurst farts.
HA HA HAHA Ha....ha....^ha ^ha^ha......^i'llshowmyselfout
Why did the German woman have to stop spoiling her son with sausages?
Because she was making the brat worse.
I used to have a morbid fear of German sausage.....
Its been hard, Ive been through therapy but now I think I'm over the wurst.
Tom Swift's best moments.
"German sausage jokes are the wurst," Tom said frankly.
"I got cut in half," Tom said intuitively.
"I will never read Shakespeare," Tom said unwillingly.
"I lost my legs right under the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.
"Who turned out the lights?" Tom asked dimly.
"I don't know the words to this song," Tom said humbly.
"I lost my wrists," Tom said offhandedly.
What does a German vegan say when asked for his opinion on sausages?
Oh, those are the wurst.
What did the German sausage say to the French bread?
Gluten tag!
Did you hear about the chain of German restaurants opening up this year?
They're going to be serving Sausages, Brats, Anne Franks.
I'm not a very talented person, but I do have the ability to identify any German sausage on sight.
Could be wurst..
Did you hear about the German man that challenged himself to eat only sausages for a year?
He said it was the wurst diet ever.
The worst thing in the English language is the inconsistency, worst in French is false cognates...
...and wurst in German is sausage.
A man goes up to the counter to order a Polish sausage.
The cashier asks, Hey, are you polish?
The man then responds, You think I'm polish just because I ordered a Polish sausage? If I ordered a wiener schnitzel would you think I'm German? If I ordered sushi would you think I'm Japanese? If I ordered Pizza would you think I'm Italian?
The cashier responds, No, it's just that this is s hardware store.
Guy demands a pound of Polish sausage
A man walks up to a counter and asks for a pound of Polish Sausage! The clerk looks at the man and says wow... you must be Polish.
The man says how dare you sir! You're a racist! Do I have to be Italian to eat Italian sausage...? Do I have to be Jewish to eat kosher beef...? Can only Germans drink German beer...?
The clerk responds well no... but this is Home Depot.
A man walks into a buffet...
He puts a sausage on his plate, and his German friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, he adds a slice of pizza to his plate, and his Italian friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, the man has an incredible urge to sneeze. He reaches for a napkin and raises it up, and his French friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
A German sausage was found dead this morning with 27 stab wounds covering its body
Police say it is the wurst m**... they've ever seen
I was packing my luggage with German sausage, when my wife told me, "Don't overfill it. Last time it exploded in the airport and you caused a scene".
"Dont be silly", I said, "you're always thinking of the wurst case scenario".
A man went to a German food stand
A young man went to a German food stand to order a bratwurst. As he gets his order, both ends of the sausage were missing. It was nonetheless the best bratwurst he has ever tasted so he decides to ask why the ends were missing and if it improves the taste somehow.
The cook answered that just does it because that's how he learned it from his grandmother. Furthermore he told the man that if he wants to know more he can always visit his grandmother and ask her if there is something to it.
The man then went to the grandmother's home to ask her his question. She was baffled and asked if her grandson still has the old small frying pan.
What do German men and g**... have in common?
They all love shoving sausage down their throats.
Why don't Germans have sausage for breakfast?
Because that would mean things went from bed to wurst.
My wife is a terrible cook. Tonight she's making German sausage.
I'll hope for the best, and prepare for the wurst
Ugh... I *really* hate the jokes in here about German Sausages.
They're the WURST.
I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.
The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.
Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.
A German was packing his luggage for holiday when his wife interrupts him...
"I hope you're not going to bring sausages again", she said, "They exploded everywhere last time and caused a frightful scene!"
"It'll be fine", He said, "Stop worrying about the wurst case scenario".
Struggling German meatpacker conciels rancid meat in its sausage blend.
Went from bad to wurst.
Why don't Germans like sausage jokes?
Because they are about the wurst.
A German girl married a Spanish man & went to Spain but she didn't speak spanish. Each time she wanted to buy chicken legs, she would lift her skirt up & show her thighs to allow the seller to understand.This went on for some time.
One day she wanted to buy sausages, so she made her husband go to the store with her. He then asked for sausages as he spoke spanish.
I learned German sausage-making from a guy who was really into Eastern philosophy.
He was always going on and on about how in order to make great sausage, you had to understand the sausage. You had to BE the sausage.
That guy was the *wurst*.
Two men sat down at a German restaurant for a 10 course meal.
After six of the courses had come out, one of the men remarked to the other "I wonder when the sausages are going to be served.".
The waiter overheard and assured the men that the sausages were coming out eventually by saying "Don't worry. The wurst is yet to come.".
A German butcher and a Polish butcher started a competition...
...to see who could make the longest continuous chain of sausage links in one hour.
It was a tight competitions; both men take pride in their craft and in their sausage-slinging heritage. The two were neck-in-neck up until the 59th minute, wherein the Polish butcher had a slip of the hand and split his last sausage asunder. When the scraps finally settled, the Polish butcher had managed 120 links and the German managed 121.
Naturally, the German butcher won, because he went a frank further.
I recently got into a heated argument with my German neighbour. I insulted him, to which he replied Sticks und stones may break my bones aber vurds can never hurt me!
So I threw a sausage at him.
