German Language Jokes
21 german language jokes and hilarious german language puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about german language that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest German Language Short Jokes
Short german language jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The german language humour may include short german word jokes also.
- I signed up for German language lessons recently. They replied, and I am kind of worried now. They said, We have ways of making you talk.
- I recently went on holiday to Europe after studying languages when I was younger... It's turns out my German has gone from Bath to Sausage
- The french language is difficult because there are two genders to remember. But in German there are three: Masculine, feminine and Angela Murkel
- "I'm looking for something by Crowded House in one of the main languages of Switzerland" "How about 'Don't dream it's over' in German?"
"Genau, genau..." - The worst thing in the English language is the inconsistency, worst in French is false cognates... ...and wurst in German is sausage.
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German Language One Liners
Which german language one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with german language? I can suggest the ones about learning german and mean german.
- When God made the German language He forgot to press the Space Bar
- Why is German the most Important language? Because you speak it in every third r**....
Hilarious German Language Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about german language you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean german car jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make german language pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now"
Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher. No idea why the school hired him.
Bob was struggling in the bedroom because he couldn't last as long as his wife.
He thought that maybe if he learned some French it would help.
But it didn't.
Then he tried learning German.
That didn't help either.
He tried Spanish, Portuguese, even Sweedish. Nothing worked.
Finally, he gave up. "It doesn't matter what language I learn," he said to his wife. "They all have one thing in common."
"What's that?" She asked.
"D comes before V."
A man walks into a buffet...
He puts a sausage on his plate, and his German friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, he adds a slice of pizza to his plate, and his Italian friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, the man has an incredible urge to sneeze. He reaches for a napkin and raises it up, and his French friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Comparison of the Different Languages
**French**: This chair is feminine. "La Chaise"
**Italian**: This chair is feminine! "La Sedia"
**German**: This chair is masculine. "Der Stuhl"
**English**: This chair is an object, I don't see how it has a gender.
**Japanese**: If you don't pronounce chair exactly right, you'll end up calling your mother a pair of rotten t**... instead.
Problems of language ( sorry for bad english)
Two Hungaryan policeman stops a car. The driver cant speak hungaryan so he tries to speak in english. The two policeman cant understan it and they just looking at the guy. Then the driver speaks to them in german, french, and a bunch of other languages. The policemen let him go. Then one of them says: Shouldnt we learn any languages? The other says: Why sould we? That guy knows so many languages but they still useless.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Jews leave Russia
One goes to Israel and the other goes to Germany. When they get together a year later, one of them says,
"Abram, I'm doing great. I opened my own business in Haifa. The weather is nice, and everyone speaks my language!"
"You know, Khaim," says Abram. "I'm not doing too bad myself. I live in Munich and work in a crematorium. You won't believe it friend, but I'm actually burning Germans!"
Joke I heard while in Hungary
Two cops are standing by the street side in New York City. A foreigner approaches them looking slightly panicked.
"Parlez vous Francais?" He asks them. The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man.
Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan español?" Again, the cops merely shrug.
The foreigner continues with the same result with Dutch, Russian, and German. Eventually, he leaves, knowing that there's no hope for him to communicate with the officers.
"I keep telling you we should learn more languages!" says one cop to the other.
"Why?" he responds. "That man knows five, and it didn't get him anywhere."
While on a vacation in a foreign country, a man begins to drown in a lake
Suddenly, he sees two people walking by. He realises that he doesn't know the language.
"Help! Help!" he screams in English, to no reaction.
"Hilfe! Hilfe", he tries German. No reaction either.
" Socorro! Socorro!" he tries Spanish.
The people do nothing, so he drowns. As both passerby are walking away, one turns to another and says: "What do you think... should we learn another language?"
"Why? This guy spoke three languages and it didn't help him a bit"
Linguists from France, Italy, and Germany were debating which language was the most beautiful.
The German representative was waving his hand frantically to be chosen to speak, when the French representative began to speak.
"French is certainly sublime. Consider the word Papillon. How could the word for butterfly be more beautiful than the butterfly itself
The German is dying to speak, but then the Italian chimes in.
"Italian is as beautiful as French. Our word for butterfly is Farfalle, also more beautiful than the insect itself"
Finally it's the German's turn. He is dying to speak and blurts out,
"AND VAT IS WRONG WITH SCHMETTERLING!?"
A politically incorrect joke about language
Investors want to make a holiday resort on an uninhabited island. They hire 3 experts to get life going there.
To the Frenchman they say, "you are in charge of cuisine".
To the German they say, "you are in charge of accommodation".
To the Finn they say, "you are in charge of supplies."
They come to survey in a while. The Frenchman has built a restaurant with excellent food. The German has built a fancy hotel. But the Finn is nowhere to be found. They ask the others but they don't know where he is either. So they go look for him and while walking in the woods the Finn suddenly jumps out from behind the tree and shouts, "SUPPLIES!"
The foreign tourist
Hank and Frank are walking down the street. A flustered-looking guy comes up to them and asks,
"Parlez-vous français?" (Do you speak French?)
They stare at him. He tries again,
"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" (Do you speak German?)
They shrug.
"Hablas español?" (Do you speak Spanish?)
Nope.
"Parli italiano?" (Do you speak Italian?)
They shrug again, the man gives up and leaves.
Hank says, "maybe we should learn a foreign language."
Frank notes, "that guy knew 4 and look what good it did him."
Hollande, Putin and Merkel sit on a plane to visit Obama.
They didn´t get the permission to land so they arrive an hour late. Hollande steps out first shaking Obama´s hand and saying "I´m sorry for being late.". Second Putin steps out of the plane greeting Obama and adding "I´m sorry for being late, too.". Last one leaving the plane is Merkel and she walks to Obama and says "I´m sorry for being late, three."
Heard this joke a few years back when it was still Bush and Sarcozy and thought it was quite good at mocking our talent for the English language (i am German myself).