German Football Jokes
16 german football jokes and hilarious german football puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about german football that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest German Football Short Jokes
Short german football jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The german football humour may include short english football jokes also.
- What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team? A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...
Bit of British humour right there ;) - The German football team visited a Russian orphanage today "It was tough, seeing their sad little faces with no hope", said Vova, age six.
- Before leaving Russia, the German football team visited an orphanage in Moscow "It was so sad to see the pain and hopelessness on their faces" said Vladimir, age 5.
- "I was going to watch a German football team play today, but I couldn't leave the house because I don't know where I left the key." "Bayern?"
"No, I checked the mantelpiece." - What the last thing people of German said to their football team when they left to Russia for the WC? "Farewell, see you again soon"
- Football is a simple game Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans get eliminated in the first round.
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German Football One Liners
Which german football one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with german football? I can suggest the ones about german language and german war.
- What's a geriatric? A German footballer scoring three goals.
- If you talk to a German football fan today Don't mention the VAR.
- Why are german footballers so good? They are used to shooting...
- What did the German Footballer name his pet? Schweinsteiger.
Uproarious German Football Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about german football you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean german car jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make german football pranks.
Dad's job
(German here)
The teacher asks the children what their dad's are doing for a job. All very exited shouted all different professions;
"Police Office, Fireman, banker, accountant, ..." ... only Hans remained quiet.
So, the teach asks "Hans, what is you dad doing as a job?"
"Oh, he's dancing n**... at a gay club and sometimes man pay him more money and they go to a motel together".
"Is that true, Hans?" The teacher asks shocked.
"No, he's playing football (soccer) for the German national team but that would have been too embarrassing.
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia.
Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?"
The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure."
Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?"
The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..."
What to do?
Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea.
So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?"
The Chinese replies: "Right now!"
Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic...
Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.