German Football Jokes
10 german football jokes and hilarious german football puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about german football that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uproarious German Football Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What is a good german football joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team?
A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...
Bit of British humour right there ;)
What's a geriatric?
A German footballer scoring three goals.
If you talk to a German football fan today
Don't mention the VAR.
"I was going to watch a German football team play today, but I couldn't leave the house because I don't know where I left the key."
"Bayern?"
"No, I checked the mantelpiece."
What the last thing people of German said to their football team when they left to Russia for the WC?
"Farewell, see you again soon"
Football is a simple game
Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans get eliminated in the first round.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dad's job
(German here)
The teacher asks the children what their dad's are doing for a job. All very exited shouted all different professions;
"Police Office, Fireman, banker, accountant, ..." ... only Hans remained quiet.
So, the teach asks "Hans, what is you dad doing as a job?"
"Oh, he's dancing n**... at a gay club and sometimes man pay him more money and they go to a motel together".
"Is that true, Hans?" The teacher asks shocked.
"No, he's playing football (soccer) for the German national team but that would have been too embarrassing.
Why are german footballers so good?
They are used to shooting...
What did the German Footballer name his pet?
Schweinsteiger.
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia.
Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?"
The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure."
Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?"
The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..."
What to do?
Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea.
So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?"
The Chinese replies: "Right now!"
Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic...
Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.
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