German Dark Jokes
6 german dark jokes and hilarious german dark puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about german dark that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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German Dark Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good german dark joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Two guys were walking their dogs....
Two guys were walking their dogs-one had a German Shepherd and the other had a Chihuahua. The man with the Shepherd suggested going into a bar for a drink. The other man says, "They're not going to let dogs into the bar." And the first guy says, "No? Watch this." So he puts on some dark glasses, acts like the German Shepherd is a seeing-eye dog, walks into the bar and orders a drink. And no one says anything. So the second guy takes out some dark glasses, slips them on, and walks his Chihuahua into the bar. The bartender says, "Sorry-we don't allow dogs in here." And the man says, "It's okay-it's my seeing-eye dog." The bartender laughs and says, "This Chihuahua is your seeing-eye dog?" And the guy says, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German guy, wanting to escape the cold and dark German winter, books a holiday to Miami.
A German guy, wanting to escape the cold and dark German winter, books a holiday to Miami. His first day there, he heads to the nearest beach bar and proceeds to pound down mai tais. After 5 or 6 drinks, he feels a strong urge to pee, and in his drunken state, he swivels his stool around and starts peeing right onto the sand. Just then, a young woman happens to walk by and shrieks "g**...!"
His cheeks blush as he yells back "Danke!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German woman was walking down a dark alley when she got accosted by eleven men...
...who tear her clothes apart and start to r**... and m**... her. The woman shouts 'Nien! Nien!', so two of them left.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A nun, a blonde girl, a German and a Dutch sit together in a train compartment.
The train goes through a tunnel, it gets dark. A loud slap can be heard, an outcry follows it. As the darkness fades a big red mark can be seen on the Dutch guys face.
The Dutch thinks to himself "The German guy must have tried to g**... the blonde, but she mistook us in the dark and hit me instead of him."
The blonde thinks "He must have tried to touch me, but accidentally touched the nun and she slapped him right in the face."
The nun thinks "Good god, he must have tried to g**... the blonde, but she slapped him across the face."
The German smiles and thinks "If there's another tunnel I am going to slap the Dutchie once more."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German, an Austrian, a nun and a young attractive woman on a train
A German, an Austrian, a nun and a attractive woman sit on a train. The lights in their car are broken so in every tunnel it gets really dark.
The train drives through a tunnel, it gets dark and suddenly you hear a slap and someone cries out in pain. When it gets bright again its obvious that the Austrian was slapped in the face.
The nun thinks: Well he tried to g**... the young woman, so she slapped him.
The young woman thinks: He tried to g**... me but messed up and touched the nun, who slapped him.
The Austrian thinks: That german guy tried to g**... the woman and she tried to slap him, missed and hit me.
The German thinks: In the next tunnel ill hit him again.
My (second) favorite joke of all time (sorry if repost)
So two guys are walking their dogs one day, one has a German Shepherd the other has a Chihuahua. They pass by a bar and the guy with the German Shepherd turns to the guy with the Chihuahua and asks if he wants to go in for a drink. The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You're crazy, they'll never let dogs into the bar." to which the guy with the German shepherd replies, "No no, watch this."
He pulls out a pair of dark sunglasses, puts them on and walks into the bar, acting as if his German Shepherd is a seeing eye dog. He goes up to the counter, asks for a drink and the bartender gets it for him no problem.
So the guy with the Chihuahua pulls out a pair of dark sunglasses, puts them on and walks in, acting like his Chihuahua is a seeing eye dog. The guy asks for a drink and the bartender replies, "I'm sorry sir there are no dogs allowed in this bar."
"Hey man, it's a seeing eye dog, c'mon."
The bartender looks skeptically down at the Chihuahua and asks, "A Chihuahua is a seeing eye dog?"
The guy pauses for a second then exclaims, "Wait, they gave me a *Chihuahua?!?*"
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