Georgia Jokes
50 georgia jokes and hilarious georgia puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about georgia that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this collection of jokes poking fun at the state of Georgia! From its football rivalry with Alabama to its unique naming conventions, to its rivalry with Georgia Tech, this guide is sure to bring a chuckle to everyone, especially those die-hard Georgia Bulldog haters out there. Whether you are a Georgia fan, an Atlanta resident, or just a Southern enthusiast, these Georgia jokes are sure to bring you a good laugh.
Funniest Georgia Short Jokes
Short georgia jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The georgia humour may include short southern jokes also.
- The #1 cause for accidents in Georgia is deer. Which is crazy to me since they can't drive.
- What is more difficult than getting an assault rifle in the U.S.? Getting a water bottle in a Georgia voting line
- So I saw one of those "Drink for Pink" labels on a bottle of juice... Sounds like Georgia Tech's hookup strategy.
- A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar in Georgia. The bartender asks ... "What can I get you Senators?"
"Just ice," they replied. - A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says... ...to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?" - How did the Democrats feel about the results of Georgia's special election ? The just couldn't Handel the loss. They had worked their Ossof for it.
- Anheuser Busch is using a Georgia brewery to can water for flood victims in Oklahoma and Texas They're labeling very clearly so people don't confuse it with Bud Light
- Some minds are like concrete... Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Got this out of a Georgia newspaper. - My girlfriends are a lot like the winters we have here in Georgia. When I finally get one they stick around for 2 days then leave
- Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia rice-growing is at an all-time low But the South will rice again
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Georgia One Liners
Which georgia one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with georgia? I can suggest the ones about governor and state.
- What Vladimir Putin and General Sherman have in common? Invading Georgia.
- Why can the Devil never go back to Georgia? He fiddled up a little kid.
- The Devil went down to Georgia . . . And obviously reneged on his deal with Falcons fans.
- !GO>: Clemson vs Georgia Tech Live Streaming!!!
- Why shouldn't you buy cars made in Georgia? Because they're always Stalin.
- Hooded man goes down to Georgia
- The Devil went down to Georgia and fiddled up a little kid...
- What do you call a Georgia O'Keefe painting that's housed in a smelly museum? An O'**....
- Smoking m**... legalized in Georgia In the country, not the state
- Why is Florida not an island?? Because Georgia s**......
Georgia State Jokes
Here is a list of funny georgia state jokes and even better georgia state puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I heard the Georgia Bulldogs QB is going in to insurance when he's done with football. He will be Jake Fromm, State Farm.
Comical Georgia Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about georgia you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dorm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make georgia pranks.
Georgia joke
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
Wife's Duties
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties at home.
The first man had married a woman from Georgia and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day, he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Arkansas. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was cleaned and the dishes were done, and food was on the table.
The third man had married a girl from Texas. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A story about a r**... and a Game Warden.
A r**... with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Georgia as he started to leave a lake well known for it's fish.
The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?"
"Naw, sir," replied the r**.... "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish!?!?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney....you're under arrest."
The r**... said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man.
I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The r**... released the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the r**....
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the r**....
I think it's kinda funny people named their kids after US states…
Y'know, names like Carolina, Georgia, Dakota, Virginia, etc. When I have a kid, I'm gonna name him Michigan, just in case some guy named Mitch reincarnates into him.
What are the 3 most played songs on Vladimir Putin's iPod?
Crimea river
Georgia on my mind
Back in the U.S.S.R
Trump found out about impeachment tonight coming after him.
Trump: "Was she the stripper from Georgia? Write her a check."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two girls move into a dorm, one from Georgia and the other from Connecticut...
The girl from GA arrives to the dorm room and finds the CT girl with her parents hanging drapes. The GA girl says "Hi, y'all! Where y'all from?" The CT girl, in a snobbish northeast attitude replies, "We're from a place where we don't end sentences in prepositions." The GA smiles politely and responds, "Beg my pardon. Where y'all from...c**...?"
Props to House of Cards for this joke, although I'm sure it's been done before.
Contrary to popular belief, Stalin was from Georgia, not Russia.
Stalin wasn't Russian anywhere.
Spercomputer was asked to find an alternative to Clinton and Trump to save presidential election.
The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia.
When he was asked: "How could you be a better alternative? You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump?", he answered:
"Well, maybe because I'm honest about it"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Georgia and Alabama hate each other
Really we have very similar jokes for each other. In Georgia we say that we know the tooth brush was invented in Alabama because if it was invented anywhere else it'd be called a teeth brush. In Alabama they say that we sure have some strange uses for those grout cleaners.
Johnny walks out of the bathroom without washing his hands
A man named Leonard approaches him and says, "I went to Harvard and they taught us to wash our hands after peeing."
Johnny looks at him and says, "I went to the University of Georgia and they taught us not to pee on our hands."
Have you ever gone to the club looking for a Georgia Peach?
And actually ended up with an Adams Apple?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where y'all from?
Two freshmen girls are moving into their dorm room together.
One of them's from Georgia, one of them's from Connecticut.
The girl from Connecticut's helping her mother put up curtains.
Girl from Georgia turns to them and says, "Hi. Where y'all from?"
Girl from Connecticut says, "We're from a place where we know not to end a sentence with a preposition."
The girl from Georgia says, "Oh, beg my pardon. Where y'all from...c**...?"
On retaliation of removing Confederate monuments, some authorities around the country are beginning to remove African American monuments
Just this morning, Atlanta removed the Georgia Dome!
Did you hear about the multi tasker from Georgia?
He was rakin' while makin' bacon in Macon.
A friend from the USA has problems differentiating states and countries...
So I explained to him that Georgia is a state, but Georgia on the other hand is a country.
Fun fact: It's no joke, that really happened, unfortunately.
Georgia was driving down a dark deserted highway when it happened to notice Florida crossing the street up ahead. What did Georgia do next?
He Florida'ed.
Did you hear Georgia will be reopening massage parlors?
It will not result in a happy ending
Do you think The Devil Went Down to Georgia
to tell Governor Kemp it was safe to reopen businesses?
Driving in Georgia
I was driving through rural Georgia one day. I came to a stop sign. Being from the big city, I just did a kind of rolling stop through the sign.
A Georgia Highway Patrol spotted me and pulled me over. He came up to the window and said, "Boy, you know why I pulled you over"?
I said, "No. Why did you pull me over"?
He said," You see that stop sign back there? You didn't stop. You just slowed down".
I said," Slow down, Stop. What's the difference"?
He took out his nightstick and started whacking me with it!
As he did so, he said, " Now, you want me to slow down, or you want me to stop"?
Three guys were hiking took a short-cut across a farmer's field, where the found a pig stuck halfway through a fence.
"I wish that was my Nancy, my girl friend" said the guy from Florida.
" I wish that was my cousin Mary-Lou" said the guy from Georgia
"I wish it was dark out" said the guy from Alabama
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two r**... guys were sitting on a dock in Georgia, drinking beer and fishing with their feet dangling in the water.
o**... said, "Oh no. An alligator just bit one of my feet off." The other guy said, "Which one?" And the first guy said, "How should I know? All the alligators look alike."
Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia.
When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.
The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"
The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him.
