George Burns Jokes
4 george burns jokes and hilarious george burns puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about george burns that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Silly George Burns Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
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What were you thinking?
Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
j**... Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi's
what is it?
A teacher asked Jamaal what his father did...
Jamaal: My father is a doctor.
Teacher: Susie what about your father?
Susie: He is a lawyer.
Teacher: William?
William: My father...he's passed.
Teacher: I'm sorry to hear that. What did he do before he died?
William: He clutched his chest and collapsed.
Adapted from a George Burns joke he credited to Walter Matthau.
It only took me one drink to get drunk...
I just can't remember if it was the seventh or the eighth
(George Burns)
George Burns
In his later years, the comedian George Burns was being interviewed by a shapely female journalist.
FJ: Mr. Burns, is it true that at your age, you still smoke six cigars every day?
GB: (eyes downcast) Yes, it's true.
FJ: And is it true you drink 3 or 4 martinis every day?
GB: Yes, that's true.
FJ: And is it true that you still chase after women half your age?
GB: Yes, I do.
FJ: What does your doctor have to say about all this?
GB: He's dead.
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