Georg Jokes
141 georg jokes and hilarious georg puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about georg that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Georg Short Jokes
Short georg jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The georg humour may include short electrical jokes also.
- What is the difference between Washington, Nixon and Trump? George Washington couldn't tell a lie.
Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth.
Donald Trump can't tell the difference - George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity Just like one of his characters.
(If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying) - What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life? Fred and George Weasley.
- George Foreman named all his kids George Foreman. He even used the name when he had a little grill.
- George Bush started cracking a 9/11 joke, but one of his advisors whispered, Too soon. It was September 10th.
- England soccer team have got a new captain today His names George Smith and he'll be flying the A380 back to Heathrow..
- Patrick Rothfuss, Robert Jordan, and George RR Martin walk into a bar... I'll finish writing this later
- Paul: "So lads, any idea how we're gonna end 'Hey Jude'"? John: Nah.
George: Nah.
Ringo: Nah. - Did you hear there was a fire in George Bushes personal library? It was awful! Most of his books hadn't even been colored in yet.
- I hate that you cant say "black paint" anymore You have to say
"George can you please paint the wall?"
Share These Georg Jokes With Friends
Georg One Liners
Which georg one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with georg? I can suggest the ones about george carlin and george w bush.
- I was named after George Washington. He was named in 1732. I was named in 1990
- Why doesn't George R. R. Martin use twitter? He killed all 140 characters.
- Just when you think 2016 has finished killing celebrities... WHAM (George Michael)
- what do you call John, Paul and George without Ringo? The Beatless
- I am smarter than George Jetson Because unlike him, I wasn't born yesterday
- Son: "Dad, did you get your DNA test results back?" Dad: "Call me George."
- What do you call a zombie with a hickey? A necromancer.
RIP GEORGE A ROMERO - People used to think George Washington was antisocial. But he just wasn't a party person.
- For sale. George Foreman grill set and Mohammad Ali dvds. Both boxed.
- What do you get when you mix Dr. Seuss with George Michael? Green Eggs and Wham!
- What did george bush say when he was fighting in war? I ambush
- How did George Washington get around? on Air HORSE One!
- As George Washington once famously said Don't believe everything you read on Reddit
- What did the vegan say when he heard about George Floyd? i'm vegan
- Why is George Bush in bed every night by 9:10? Because nothing good happens after 9:11.
Rib-Tickling Georg Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about georg you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ohm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make georg pranks.
George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...
George Clooney said, "I'll direct."
Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."
And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."
What is George W. Bush's favorite song?
Twisted Sister - I Want Iraq
Georgia joke
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
If George Clooney...
What would George Clooney call his iTunes playlist?
Clooney Tunes.
Badum tsssh..
George was enjoying his drink at the bar, when an
ugly woman takes a seat next to him.
She had a squirrel sitting on her shoulder.
The woman says to George: "If you can guess what kind of animal I have on my shoulder, I am willing to sleep with you."
George says: "It must be a crocodile?"
She replies: "Close enough"
George and Mildred
It was a pleasant, sunny afternoon in the park, full of Sunday revelers. George and Mildred were sitting together on a park bench, feeding the ducks. Mildred turned to George and said: "You know George, we've been together 29 years now, don't you think its about time we were getting married?"
George stared reflectively into the distance and replied, "Aye, Lass, but who would have us?"
So George W. Bush is in his office..
when his secretary of defense walks in, "we lost 2 Brazilians in Iraq today."
GW puts his head in his hands looks up very sullen and asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"
George Washington Today
What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now?
Scratchin' the inside of his coffin.
Why was George Washington so good at hide-and-seek?
Because he always founder.
George W. Bush was sitting in the Oval Office when...
...his secretary walks in with a phone in his hand.
He says, "Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."
Upon hearing this The President says, "Oh my God!" and he buries his head in his hands.
The entire Cabinet was stunned. Usually George Bush showed no reaction whatsoever to these types of reports.
Just then, Bush looked up and said, "How many is a Brazilian??"
A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says...
...to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?"
George Washington, George Bush, and Bill Clinton are on a boat.
The boat begins to sink.
George Washington stands up and valiently exclaims, "Save the Women!"
George Bush runs to the lifeboat, shouting, "Screw the women!"
bill clinton stands up and says excitedly, "Do we have time?"
George Washington and the Silver Dollar
According to legend, George Washington once threw a silver dollar across the Patomac River. You can't do this today because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
George and Harold were usually responsible kids.
Whenever anything bad happened, George and Harold were usually responsible.
George Michael walks into a bar...
The barman says, "George, you've got chocolate on your shirt!".
"I know," replies George, "It was a Careless Wispa."
What do George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln have in common?
They were the last three white guys with those last names.
George Bush swears he sees Moses in the crowd at a rally....
.....and he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to meet such a well-known biblical celebrity.
He yells at him, "Sir, you look a lot like a man from the old testament. Are you Moses?" Looking around, the man slowly shakes his head side to side denying the gesture. Bush is not convinced.. one more time he asks, "Sir, I don't see the need to lie to me; are you Moses?" Once again, a back and forth shaking of his head. Bush tells his security detail to interrogate him.
His lead security agent asks the man in complete confidence, "The beard, the cloak, the staff, the wrinkled skin... you look exactly like Moses." Moses replies, "Because I am."
Confused, the security agent asks, "Why didn't you just tell the president that then? What harm could it have caused?" As a matter of factly, Moses replies, "The last time I talked to a Bush, I was stranded in a desert for 40 years."
Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter?
There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.
Is George Zimmerman on Twitter?
George W. G. Ferris Jr. designed and constructed the first Ferris Wheel. He saw much potential in his new invention, he said, "This will revolutionise circus attractions!"
The George Dubya Bush Presidential Library burned down…
All three books were destroyed.
Two of 'em hadn't even been coloured in yet.
What's George Washington's favorite element?
Americium-1776
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
George stops at red light...
A beautiful blonde stops just beside him.
George pull down his window.
She also pull down her window.
George smiles and asks with a grin on his face " you also f**...?"
What is George R.R Martin's favorite song?
Another One Bites the Dust by Queen.
George HW Bush fell and broke his neck today
It's in the news. Today George HW Bush fell and broke his neck at home in Maine. Fox news is blaming it on Hillary. Donald Trump said his Mexican Maid pushed him down the stairs.
George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest.
George W. Bush challenged arnold schwarzenegger to a push-up contest. Schwarzenegger did 910 push-ups. Bush won because he did 911.
Do you know why George Washington 's father forgive him?
Because Washington still holding the axe
Did you know George III never even bothered to leave his couch during the American Revolution?
He was sofa king comfortable.
George Takei, George Clooney, George Lucas, and George R.R. Martin decided to have a barbecue.
They named their little get-together the "George" Four-Man Grill.
Why did George Lucas Cross The Road?
To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80.
George Washington's bark was from the same tree as his bite.
George bush got stuck in concrete.
That sets a bad precedent.
How did George Washington survive being shot so many times in war and duels?
He put all of his points into Constitution.
Why was Georg Ohm such a badass rockstar?
Because he knew a squared amp and resistance gave you power
Did you know George Washington is not on the 1$ bill?
It's just a picture of him.
George Washington wasn't arrogant, but he did predict the $1 bill would contain his likeness.
In that regard, he was on the money.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why George RR Martin doesn't utilize s**... b**... in GoT?
Because he does not have enough virgins left in the story
Why did George Washington leave office after his second term.
He wanted to set a president.
George Carlin:"Why do laxatives always say 'Works gently, overnight'?"
"What if I want something that works violently right now?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does George Bush Jr and Michael Jackson have in common?
Bush did 9/11 and Jackson did 9 11 year-olds.
George Clooney is an excellent Pokémon trainer
He caught Amal
If George Washington Carver became a teacher, what would his nickname be?
The Nutty Professor
What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat?
"Men, get in the boat!"
What does George Weasley see in the Mirror of Erised?
His reflection.
George Soros is a big reason im voting for Hillary!
His voting machines didn't really give me a choice.
What was George Washington's campaign slogan?
Make America.
How did George Bush get Afghanistan pregnant?
He never pulled out
How did George Michael speak when he couldn't eat fruit?
In a pear-less whisper.
I'll see myself out.
What if George Lucas was the new Supreme Court justice?
Lucas gets indicted after video surfaces of him tampering with previous decisions he made.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
George Michael has been accused of o**... trafficking
It turns out Last Christmas, someone gave him their heart
What's George Washington's favorite song.
Doesn't matter, just as long as it's royalty-free.
George Michael has passed away on Christmas Day
Looks like he ended up giving his heart away this year after all
What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work?
Wake me up before you go-go
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
George Michael was no stranger to controversy but the most unforgivable thing he ever did
Was k**... off Limp Bizkit's career
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hopefully george michael was an o**... donor...
... so on his last Christmas he gave someone his heart
Why is George Michaels never gonna dance again?
His EKG ain't got no rythym
What were George Michael's last words?
You put the boom-boom into my heart.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Georgia and Alabama hate each other
Really we have very similar jokes for each other. In Georgia we say that we know the tooth brush was invented in Alabama because if it was invented anywhere else it'd be called a teeth brush. In Alabama they say that we sure have some strange uses for those grout cleaners.
At least George Micheal wasn't a liar.
Last Christmas he gave us his heart.
George R.R. Martin tweeted that he directed 2016. This year will be Michael Bay...
Oh wait that was 2001
They say George Michael died of botulism.
Guess he had some bad can meat.
George Michael was jus here...
And then wham!
It was his last Christmas
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
George Takei's contributions to the Gay Community cannot be understated.
He put the O My back in s**....
How does George Takei say the plural of hippopotamus?
Hippopot oh my
George W. Bush visits Algeria.
As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: "You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra..."
George Washington may have never told a lie...
But, Chuck Norris doesn't even know what a cherry tree is.
George R.R. Martin, Steven Moffat, and Joss Whedon walk into a bar.
Everyone you've ever loved dies.
George Romero died. I'm sure we will see him again soon.
Too soon?
George Clooney creates an iTunes playlist and fills it with various cartoon soundtracks.
Clooney Tunes
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q. What did George Michael sing at Elton John's wedding?
A. "Don't let your son go down on me."
George and the Dragon
A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked.
The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some food?" he asked.
The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition.
"No!" she said rather sternly.
"Could I have a pint of ale?"
"No!" she snapped again.
"Could I at least sleep in your stable?"
"No!"
By this time, she was fairly shouting.
The vagabond tried again: "Might I please...?"
"What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently.
"Do you suppose I might have a word with George instead?"
Why was Georgie consumed by large debts?
Because he was penny wise, pound foolish
When did George Michael die?
Last Christmas.
Why did George Thorogood sing Bad to the Bone?
Because he had osteoporosis
George Carlin came back to life and his new stand up routine is incredible.
It's called The Seven Words the CDC Can't Say on TV.
I've got one of those George Formby Grills.
When it's finished cooking it says "It's turned out nice again".
George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Mathew McConaughey are in a coffee shop to discuss a new movie:
Clooney: I'll direct.
DiCaprio: I'll act.
McConaughey: I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why would George W Bush be a bad blacksmith?
He apparently can't melt steel beams.
