Geography Jokes
109 geography jokes and hilarious geography puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about geography that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Reach out to your inner geography nerd with these hilarious jokes about geography teachers, flirty geography, geography degrees, geography Christmas and more! Whether you are a geography student, a geography river, a geography rock, or a zoologist, take our geography quiz for a good chuckle and make sure to share it with your friends and family. Geography isn't always boring - get ready for a good laugh!
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Funniest Geography Short Jokes
Short geography jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The geography humour may include short geology jokes also.
- What is the purpose of war? "God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain
- Geology rocks but geography is where it's at... What did the tectonic plates say when they bumped into each other?
My fault, sorry! - My son got an F in his geography exam today. I sent him to his room but he ended up in the kitchen
- Justin Timberlake is bad at geography He sings this song, "Crimea River", but I checked, and Crimea is a peninsula, not a river.
- A joke about world-geography is kind of like healthcare ... Lots of Americans just won't get it.
- A preschool teacher is teaching a student basic geography Teacher: "what state do you live in?"
Student: "denial." - Prof to the student: Did you study geography? Student: Yes sir.
Prof: so, tell me, where is Kentucky?
Student: At page 35 prof. - my wife tried to tell me that I'm in denial... So I told her to go back to school and learn geography because I'm standing nowhere near a river in Egypt
- I dumped my girlfriend and started reading a geography book. At least I know where I stand now.
- Have you heard about the old geography teacher who kept wetting his bed? His only weakness was in continents.
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Geography One Liners
Which geography one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with geography? I can suggest the ones about economics and social studies.
- War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
- I heard the best geography joke today... I would tell you but you had to be there.
- Geology rocks, But geography is where it's at.
- Student: I'll never be good at geography. Geography teacher: Not with that latitude!
- I was that bad in geography That I couldn't even find the class.
- I'm not very good at geography... But I can name a city in France, which is Nice
- Two things I learned from online dating geography and disappointment
- I failed my test on Canadian Geography today I knew Nunavut
- I just got a job teaching in America! Yeah. Geography as a foreign language.
- Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert?
A: Chocolate mousse. - WAR! HUH! What is it good for? Teaching Americans geography.
- my grade for geography will be out of this world.
- I had to do a presentation about geography and it was my turn so my friend said Europe
- In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo York. - What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
Geography Teacher Jokes
Here is a list of funny geography teacher jokes and even better geography teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- At geography class Little Jon is at school reading his geography book in class. The teacher tries to surprise him:
- Where's England, Jon?
He proudly answers:
- Page 83. - Why did Joe Strummer never make it as a geography teacher? He kept telling everyone that London's Berlin
- It was geography class in Soviet Russia... and little Dmitri asked, 'Why don't we ever get tested on the capitals of foreign countries?'
The teacher replied, 'Because we hate capital-lists, Dmitri.' - I was wondering how many licks it takes to get to the center of the Earth, so I asked my geography teacher Turns out it takes just one, but it has to be an exceptionally long lick
hel p me - In geography, teacher told us that Mariana's Trench was the deepest, coldest, most inhospitable place on planet earth. Mariana said that he shouldn't talk about their date in class.
- I took a geography test one time and my teacher asked us to restate every question. I failed.
- Teacher: Alright! Is everyone ready for the geography quiz? Student: There's a quiz today?!? I'm not ready!
Teacher: Well, how much of the textbook have you read?
Student: Nunavut! - Our geography teacher asked us, what is on the African plate? Nothing, its empty
Geography Rock Jokes
Here is a list of funny geography rock jokes and even better geography rock puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife has only one problem: she can't tell the difference between Geology and Geography Either way, she can still rock my world.
- Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why?
A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
Giggle-Inducing Geography Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about geography you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean anatomy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make geography pranks.
A mother noticed her little dauther praying.
"Please, God," the little girl kept saying.
"Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia."
"Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked.
"Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A: They've both been laid all over America.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is...
Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory.
He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back.
"Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away.
Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?"
The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job.
I'm still employed.
I just can't remember where.
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
Once visiting Arizona, Chuck Norris spat on the ground.
The place is now known as the meteor crater.
Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
Moo moos.
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia?
2 months...
How does he get there?
He walks.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii.
It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old.
I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance?
When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
My friend's dad went to Hungary.
I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
One day a British came to India.
He met a pan wala.
He asked can you teach me Hindi.
The betel man agreed.
He said "Ye mera pan patta,yeh tumhare pan patta, yeh ham Sabka pan patta".
The Britisher said "Yeh mera pant phatta,yeh tumhara pant phatta,yeh ham Sabka pant phatta".
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1.
Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him:
He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room.
I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
"Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard.
"Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked.
"Can you describe it?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking.
The Yankee said, "s**... is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in."
The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
It's so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal.
He answered: "Where?"
The country went bankrupt.
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating.
The American husband asked, "how did you find out?"
The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yo mama is so s**... that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.
Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
So, I ran into my old Geography Teacher the other day...
and he invited me to his birthday party.
"It's a Geography themed fancy dress party." he said with a grin.
"How's that going to work?" I asked.
"Well, for instance, I'm going as a large Island off the coast of Italy."
"Don't be sicily" I replied...
I have a double major in Psychology and Geography.
I lead the field in research on glacial depressions.
So a guy walks into a bank with a gun and walks up to the teller...
Bank Robber: Put all your money in this bag or you're geography!
Bank Teller: Don't you mean history?
Bank Robber: Hey! Don't try to change the subject!
Geography teacher dropped this dad joke on us in the middle of class
Context: talking about permafrost. They way vegetation thaws out is called polygons (cause they look like them)
So he says: on the exam if I ask what polygons are... I'm asking about the permafrost ground. Not a dead parrot!
I think I'm too tired cause I laughed way too hard!
Two blondes are in geography class together...
One asks the other
"Which is closer, London or the moon"
The other replies
"The moon, obviously, can you see London?"
Bank robber pulls out gun, points it at the teller...
Robber: "Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!'
Cashier (puzzled) "Did you mean to say "or you're history?"
Robber: "Don't change the subject."
Geography puns
So I was trying to look up some Geography puns, but I couldn't find any.
A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.
"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"
The teller said "Don't you mean history?"
The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"
A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.
She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."
If I got 1$ for every geography test I failed
I could finally understand that I live in Europe, where these are worthless
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You wanna hear a geography joke?
Bob : "Hey Tom if you're Hungary I'll Serbia a Turkey Sandwich"
Tom : "Oman that was a bad joke"
Bob : "Yemen I know"
Tom : "You Syriasly need to stop with these jokes..."
Bob : "But Iraq at making jokes :("
A guy storms into a bank, pulls out his gun, points it at a teller and hollers, Give me all your money or you're geography! Trembling, the teller stammers, D...d...don't y...y...you m...m...mean h...h...history?
The robber screams, Don't change the subject!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My granddad was something of a legend: he actually went down in history
and on one occasion, fingered a girl in geography.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
A man walks into a room of people laughing
He ask's "what's everyone laughing about?"
The other man says "it's a geography joke, you had to have been there!"
10 september 2001
The child of Bin Laden comes home grumpy. His dad asks him "what happened?". "Today I got an F in geography class". "And what did she ask you?". "What's the tallest building from New York and I said Empire State Building". "Eh, don't cry over it, I'll take care of that for you."
Sometimes I really do regret taking history and geography
Every time I'd enter the class room I would exclaim 'oh the humanities!'
I need to brush up on my geography.
The box my new TV came in said "Built In Antenna." I have no idea where Antenna is.
A Taiwanese joke translated and adapted to suit global culture.
I failed my geography test because of one single question.
The question was: "Where's the capital of Ukraine?"
I responded with "Kyiv" when the answer was "Moscow".
I argued that the teacher doesn't know anything about geography while the teacher said I know nothing about communism.
The son of a godfather comes back home at the end of school year with his report.
The report states:
History A
Math A+
Science A+
Literature A
Geography B+
The father grabs a gun and shot him in the head.
The mother shocked and in tears asks: "why did you shoot him?!"
And the Boss: "he knew too much"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandad went down in history.
.....he also fingered someone in geography.
Say what you will about dad jokes
But at least theres Norway I'll stoop Oslo as geography jokes.
