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Geography Jokes

111 geography jokes and hilarious geography puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about geography that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Reach out to your inner geography nerd with these hilarious jokes about geography teachers, flirty geography, geography degrees, geography Christmas and more! Whether you are a geography student, a geography river, a geography rock, or a zoologist, take our geography quiz for a good chuckle and make sure to share it with your friends and family. Geography isn't always boring - get ready for a good laugh!

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Funniest Geography Short Jokes

Short geography jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The geography humour may include short geology jokes also.

  1. What is the purpose of war? "God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain
  2. A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!" "You mean history."
    "Don't change the subject!"
  3. Geology rocks but geography is where it's at... What did the tectonic plates say when they bumped into each other?
    My fault, sorry!
  4. My son got an F in his geography exam today. I sent him to his room but he ended up in the kitchen
  5. Justin Timberlake is bad at geography He sings this song, "Crimea River", but I checked, and Crimea is a peninsula, not a river.
  6. A man robs a bank. Robber: Give me all your money or you're geography!
    Employee: Don't you mean history?
    Robber: Don't change the subject...
  7. A joke about world-geography is kind of like healthcare ... Lots of Americans just won't get it.
  8. A preschool teacher is teaching a student basic geography Teacher: "what state do you live in?"
    Student: "denial."
  9. My granddad was something of a legend: he actually went down in history and on one occasion, fingered a girl in geography.
  10. Prof to the student: Did you study geography? Student: Yes sir.
    Prof: so, tell me, where is Kentucky?
    Student: At page 35 prof.

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Geography One Liners

Which geography one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with geography? I can suggest the ones about economics and social studies.

  1. War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
  2. I heard the best geography joke today... I would tell you but you had to be there.
  3. Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
    A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
  4. Geology rocks, But geography is where it's at.
  5. Why did God create war? To teach Americans Geography
  6. Student: I'll never be good at geography. Geography teacher: Not with that latitude!
  7. Why are americans bad at geography? Because the ones that skipped class survived
  8. I was that bad in geography That I couldn't even find the class.
  9. I'm not very good at geography... But I can name a city in France, which is Nice
  10. Two things I learned from online dating geography and disappointment
  11. My grandad went down in history. .....he also fingered someone in geography.
  12. I failed my test on Canadian Geography today I knew Nunavut
  13. I wanted to tell a geography joke... ...but you had to be there to understand.
  14. I just got a job teaching in America! Yeah. Geography as a foreign language.
  15. Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert?
    A: Chocolate mousse.

Geography Teacher Jokes

Here is a list of funny geography teacher jokes and even better geography teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Have you heard about the old geography teacher who kept wetting his bed? His only weakness was in continents.
  • At geography class Little Jon is at school reading his geography book in class. The teacher tries to surprise him:
    - Where's England, Jon?
    He proudly answers:
    - Page 83.
  • TIFU by sending a substitute math teacher to a geography classroom. Whoops, wrong sub!
  • Why did Joe Strummer never make it as a geography teacher? He kept telling everyone that London's Berlin
  • It was geography class in Soviet Russia... and little Dmitri asked, 'Why don't we ever get tested on the capitals of foreign countries?'
    The teacher replied, 'Because we hate capital-lists, Dmitri.'
  • Before becoming a singer, front man of The Clash, Joe Strummer, wanted to be a geography teacher. But he kept telling everyone that London's Berlin.
  • I was wondering how many licks it takes to get to the center of the Earth, so I asked my geography teacher Turns out it takes just one, but it has to be an exceptionally long lick

    hel p me
  • In geography, teacher told us that Mariana's Trench was the deepest, coldest, most inhospitable place on planet earth. Mariana said that he shouldn't talk about their date in class.
  • I took a geography test one time and my teacher asked us to restate every question. I failed.
  • Teacher: Alright! Is everyone ready for the geography quiz? Student: There's a quiz today?!? I'm not ready!
    Teacher: Well, how much of the textbook have you read?
    Student: Nunavut!

Geography Rock Jokes

Here is a list of funny geography rock jokes and even better geography rock puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife has only one problem: she can't tell the difference between Geology and Geography Either way, she can still rock my world.
  • Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why?
    A: The Scorpions.
    Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
Geography joke

Giggle-Inducing Geography Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about geography you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean anatomy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make geography pranks.

Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A: They've both been laid all over America.

Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory.


He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back.
"Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away.
Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?"
The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk!

When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.

Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.


That incident was known as the Tunguska event.

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.

In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo York.

How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia?
2 months...
How does he get there?
He walks.

Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America?
A: Throw a cookie into the street.

God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.

A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York.


At the same time in South Texas is getting a b**... from a 85 year old lady.
What are both men thinking?
Don't look down.

Yo mama so fat when she was swimming in the ocean the indians claimed her as the new land.

One​ day a British came to India.
He met a pan wala.
He asked can you teach me Hindi.
The betel man agreed.
He said "Ye mera pan patta,yeh tumhare pan patta, yeh ham Sabka pan patta".
The Britisher said "Yeh mera pant phatta,yeh tumhara pant phatta,yeh ham Sabka pant phatta".

A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1.

Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer

A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him:
He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room.
I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
"Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."

A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking.


The Yankee said, "s**... is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in."
The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."

A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating.


The American husband asked, "how did you find out?"
The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."

Yo mama is so s**... that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.

A man goes into a bank...

...and proceeds to walk up to the nearest bank teller and pulls out a gun:
"Make one wrong move and you're geography!"
"Don't you mean history?" asks the teller
"Don't change the subject!"

So, I ran into my old Geography Teacher the other day...

and he invited me to his birthday party.
"It's a Geography themed fancy dress party." he said with a grin.
"How's that going to work?" I asked.
"Well, for instance, I'm going as a large Island off the coast of Italy."
"Don't be sicily" I replied...

I have a double major in Psychology and Geography.

I lead the field in research on glacial depressions.

So a guy walks into a bank with a gun and walks up to the teller...

Bank Robber: Put all your money in this bag or you're geography!
Bank Teller: Don't you mean history?
Bank Robber: Hey! Don't try to change the subject!

Geography teacher dropped this dad joke on us in the middle of class

Context: talking about permafrost. They way vegetation thaws out is called polygons (cause they look like them)
So he says: on the exam if I ask what polygons are... I'm asking about the permafrost ground. Not a dead parrot!
I think I'm too tired cause I laughed way too hard!

Two blondes are in geography class together...

One asks the other
"Which is closer, London or the moon"
The other replies
"The moon, obviously, can you see London?"

Bank robber pulls out gun, points it at the teller...

Robber: "Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!'
Cashier (puzzled) "Did you mean to say "or you're history?"
Robber: "Don't change the subject."

I dumped my girlfriend and started reading a geography book.

At least I know where I stand now.

A boy is studying for his geography quiz

His mom asks him:
"What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin", says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin."
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin."
"You're so smart, Adolf, I know you'll do great on your quiz."

my grade for geography

will be out of this world.

Geography class

-Whats the capital of Germany?
-Berlin teacher
-Whats the capital of France?
-Berlin again teacher
-Whats the capital of Poland?
-Still Berlin teacher
-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!
-We'll see about that

A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.

"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"
The teller said "Don't you mean history?"
The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"

my wife tried to tell me that I'm in denial...

So I told her to go back to school and learn geography because I'm standing nowhere near a river in Egypt

Dad, my Geography teacher Adolf will give me a quiz tomorrow.

Sure Hans. Let me ask you some questions.
Capital of Germany? Berlin
Capital of France? Berlin
Capital of Russia? Berlin
Capital of Poland? Berlin
Capital of USA? Tokyo
Capital of China? Tokyo
Hotel? Trivago
That's my boy.

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

A bank robber is robbing a bank

Robber: Put all the money in this bag or you're geography.
Banker: Don't you mean 'history'?
Robber: Don't change the subject!

If I got 1$ for every geography test I failed

I could finally understand that I live in Europe, where these are worthless

A mother is helping her son revise for a geography exam

She asks "What's the Capital of Germany?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then asks "What's the Capital of France?"
He replies "Berlin."
She asks "What's the Capital of Russia?"
He replies "Berlin."
She finally asks "What's the Capital of Poland?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then hugs him and says "I'm sure you'll do great, Adolf"

You wanna hear a geography joke?

Bob : "Hey Tom if you're Hungary I'll Serbia a Turkey Sandwich"
Tom : "Oman that was a bad joke"
Bob : "Yemen I know"
Tom : "You Syriasly need to stop with these jokes..."
Bob : "But Iraq at making jokes :("

I had to do a presentation about geography and it was my turn so my friend said

Europe

A guy storms into a bank, pulls out his gun, points it at a teller and hollers, Give me all your money or you're geography! Trembling, the teller stammers, D...d...don't y...y...you m...m...mean h...h...history?

The robber screams, Don't change the subject!

Robbery

A robber walks up to a teller in a bank and says "Give me the money or you're geography"
The teller, confused, says "Don't you mean you're history?"
The robber says "Don't change the subject!"

A young boy was getting ready for a geography test he was going to take at school.

As he studied, he decided to ask his mother for help:
"Mom, will you help me revise for my geography test?"
"Sure honey, let's see... what's the capital of Germany?'
"Berlin!"
"Good job! What about the capital of France?"
"Berlin!"
"Way to go! What's the capital of the US?"
"Berlin!"
"Good job, little Adolf!"

In the geography class:

-What is the capital of Germany?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of Poland?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of France?
-Berlin!
-Good job, Adolf!

A man walks into a room of people laughing

He ask's "what's everyone laughing about?"
The other man says "it's a geography joke, you had to have been there!"

10 september 2001

The child of Bin Laden comes home grumpy. His dad asks him "what happened?". "Today I got an F in geography class". "And what did she ask you?". "What's the tallest building from New York and I said Empire State Building". "Eh, don't cry over it, I'll take care of that for you."

WAR! HUH! What is it good for?

Teaching Americans geography.

Sometimes I really do regret taking history and geography

Every time I'd enter the class room I would exclaim 'oh the humanities!'

I need to brush up on my geography.

The box my new TV came in said "Built In Antenna." I have no idea where Antenna is.

My Grandad was a great man and went down in history

And on one occasion he fingered a girl in geography.

A Taiwanese joke translated and adapted to suit global culture.

I failed my geography test because of one single question.
The question was: "Where's the capital of Ukraine?"
I responded with "Kyiv" when the answer was "Moscow".
I argued that the teacher doesn't know anything about geography while the teacher said I know nothing about communism.

The son of a godfather comes back home at the end of school year with his report.

The report states:
History A
Math A+
Science A+
Literature A
Geography B+

The father grabs a gun and shot him in the head.
The mother shocked and in tears asks: "why did you shoot him?!"
And the Boss: "he knew too much"

Say what you will about dad jokes

But at least theres Norway I'll stoop Oslo as geography jokes.

geography test

What is the capital of Austria?
\- Berlin
What is the capital of France?
\- Berlin
What is the capital of Poland?
\- Berlin
All wrong. Adolf, you're gonna fail the test
\- We shall see

Geography joke, geography test

jokes about geography