Genuine Jokes
31 genuine jokes and hilarious genuine puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about genuine that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Genuine Short Jokes
Short genuine jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The genuine humour may include short authentic jokes also.
- For sale: Guitar
Yoyo
puppet
Kite
£5 for the lot
Genuine reason for sale
No strings attached - If you're genuinely asking me to choose between my career as a reporter and our relationship Well then I've got some news for you
- Just went to the doctor and found out I'm colour blind Genuinely can't believe it, this has come completely out of the green
- I genuinely complemented on a coworkers moustache, Now she's making a big deal with HR about it.
- I made a genuine compliment about a co-workers mustache I don't know why she made such a big deal about it to HR.
- What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot (this is genuinely one of my all time favourites of this genre of joke)
- My mother-in-law came into work at lunch time today, and I must admit unlike other men, I was genuinely pleased to see her. By the way I'm an undertaker.
- You really cannot trust your drug dealers. One day they appear genuine, Next day they're methin' around
- What did Darth Vader say under the tree? Luke... I feel your presents...
My sister just told this to me, and I genuinely laughed at it so I thought it belonged here! - TIL (Today I learned) who coined the phrase "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" It was former US President Abraham Lincoln.
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Genuine One Liners
Which genuine one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with genuine? I can suggest the ones about honest and good honest.
- Either my wife genuinely thinks she's a goldfish... Or she's just acting Koi.
- Yo mama so fat... I have genuine concerns for her wellbeing.
- You mama so fat We're all genuinely concerned for her health.
- My dad always said, "Don't trust anybody". But I don't know if his advice is genuine.
- "If you work hard, you can break barriers." - Kim Kardashian West (genuine quote)
- I have a Genuine question. Is b**... one word? Or should I spread them apart?
- Imagine having s**... with a genuine tree n**.... That'd be strange. Wooden t**....
Cheerful Fun Genuine Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about genuine you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean legitimate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make genuine pranks.
A Mexican man was visiting America.
He wanted to go to a genuine American baseball game so that when he went home, he could tell his family all about it, but when he got there the game was sold out, so he climbed to the top of the flag pole to get a good look.
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands, and all the players, stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
Did you know? In Marseille, they actually give you a certificate with every souvenir you buy, as a means of demonstrating that it's a genuine product of southern France.
It's proven Provence province provenance.
My first drink with my son
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Miller Genuine. He didn't like it – so I drank it.
Then I got him a Fosters, he didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey,
I could hardly push the stroller back home.
My Grandmother was excited to hear that some cookies at the bake sale were baked by genuine prostitutes
Grandma did always have a soft spot for h**...-made products.
How Do You Trap a Polar Bear?
You cut a hole in the ice and scatter peas around it. When the polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the icehole.
That was one my dad used to tell, so it's 100% genuine dad joke.
Nice pigs sir
A Secret Service agent is standing at the bottom of the stairs as President Clinton is leaving Air Force One, and can't help but notice that the President has a pig under each arm.
The Agent salutes and says, "Welcome back, Mr. President. Nice pigs, sir."
Clinton smiles and says, "These aren't pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks. I got this one for Hillary, and I got this one for Chelsea."
The Agent says, "Good trade, sir."
Tampons on sale
A woman goes into the drug store and notices a large stack of tampons in the corner with a sign above saying: "Special Offer, Five Boxes for $2.50"
She says to the assistant. What's the catch"?
The assistant replies "It's a genuine offer, five boxes for $2.50, no strings attached.
Two olives are on a counter.
One falls to the ground. The one still on the counter, out of genuine concern, yells down, "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"
The one on the ground rolls over, quickly checks himself and replies,
"OLIVE"
There was a Russian man who was a collector of supernatural oddities.
An American man heard about him, and decided to try his luck at making a quick buck. He arranged a meeting, and presented a thin gauzy cloth to the man.
"This may look like cloth, but it is actually 100%, genuine ghost skin."
The Russian man leaned in, carefully examining the cloth, and running his finger lightly across it. He then turned and looked the American square in the eyes.
"I call boo sheet."
President Clinton shows up to Air Force One
President Clinton shows up to Air Force One with a pig under each arm.
The Marine sergeant, salutes him and shouts: "Nice pigs, sir"
Clinton looks at him and says: "I'll have you know these are genuine Arkansas razorbacks! I got one for Chelsea and one for Hillary. What do you think about that?"
The sergeant salutes again and shouts: "Nice trade, sir."
One of the big themes in Sartre's philosophy is the idea of genuine choice versus just the appearance of having a choice.
So he can't meaningfully choose to have his coffee with no cream, because he could never have had it with cream to begin with, but he can meaningfully choose to have it with no milk.
I was listening to Uncertain Smile from The The. Man, I love that band...
...They are the genuine article.
I am genuinely terrified of my Biology Professor
I heard he has a lot of skeletons in his closet
How do you tell if your wife is faking it?
Next time during s**.... Grab her by the n**... and squeeze.
Whatever sound she subsequently makes is genuine.
