Gent Jokes
69 gent jokes and hilarious gent puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gent that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Gent Short Jokes
Short gent jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gent humour may include short ting jokes also.
- What soaps are used to keep men away? Deter-gents
Day 4 of posting soapy dad jokes for a week! - I hear that it's easier to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods but it's harder to deter gents.
- The hitchhiker A guy with 3 eyes, one leg, and no arms is hitchhiking. Suddenly a nice English gent pulls over and says "eye, eye, eye, you look 'armless, hop in."
- Ok what's the difference between the Titantic and California? At least the lights were on when the Titanic sank.
Thank you, tip your bartenders ladies and gents….. - What happened when Sin and Cos stayed out in the sun for too long? They both became tanned gents!
- What is the best adjective to describe somebody who incessantly makes puns? PUN-gent!
^(I'm sorry) - My wife left me, Cosmo, after doing some trigonometry. She saw a tan gent and chose sin over Cos'.
- I've been hearing how easy it is to convince ladies not to eat Tide pods... It's somewhat more difficult to deter gents.
Edit; I'll show myself out. - Why don't upper class men wash their own clothes? Because the washing powder is a deter-gent.
- A random quote written in gents toilet You future is in your hand
.
..
Imagine the quote written in ladies toilet
.
.
Do not play with your future....
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Gent One Liners
Which gent one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gent? I can suggest the ones about stein and rant.
- "Ladies and Gents" That concludes our tour of the toilets
- What do you call a fella who keeps on making puns until you feel suffocated? Pun-gent.
- What do you call a mathematician at the beach? A tan gent.
- What kind of soap can also be used to keep away men? Deter gents
- What chemicals are best for keeping men away? Deter-gents.
- What does a woman wash with if she wants to put off male suitors? Deter-gent.
- It's easier to deter women from eating tide pods, but it's harder to... Deter-gents
- What do you call a courteous spy? A gent
- Lots of women go to the laundromat But it seems to deter gents
- What does a lesbian put on her clothes to keep men away? Deter gents.
- I went off on a tan gent once He was wasting all his time at the beach
- What is a fedora clad neck-bearded gent's favourite band? M'roon 5
- What is it that makes cleaning women's work? The deter gents.
- If a triangle goes off on a rant... Is it a TAN-gent
- Hey girl, is your name Persil? Cus you deter gents.
Hilarious Fun Gent Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about gent you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean anger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gent pranks.
An old gentleman with diabetes had a dangerously low blood sugar level...
The man fainted.
A gentleman goes into a doctor's office...
...and says, "Doctor, Doctor, I keep forgetting things!"
The doctor responds, "When did this start?" and the gentleman replies, "When did what start?"
Old man driving alone
An old man is driving along the road humming to himself.
Suddenly he hears a police siren and a motorcycle cop pulls him over.
He can't imagine what could be wrong.
"Sir, do you realize that you left your wife behind in the gas station?"
"I did? I am so relieved."
"You're relieved you drove off without your wife?"
The gent nods.
"But didn't you sense something was wrong?"
"Yes, I thought I'd gone deaf."
A gentleman is . . .
...a man who gets out of the shower to take a pee
Gentrification tends to happen during autumn
Because the brown leaves.
Hearing Aid.
An elderly gent was showing off his new hearing aid to a friend.
"This is the finest hearing aid on the market today" he bragged "I paid over £500 for it".
His friend asked "What Kind is it?"
He replied "Half past five".
A gentleman walks into a library...
A gentleman walks into a library, goes over to the librarian and says, "I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small chocolate shake.". Confused, the librarian replies, "Sir, this is a library!". The gentleman is very embarrassed. He softly whispers, "I'm terribly sorry. I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small chocolate shake.".
A man's dog dies
A fine elderly Catholic gentleman lived alone in Southwest Florida in an upscale gated community except for his beloved dog that he had for a long time.
The dog finally died and the gent went to the parish priest, saying "Father, my dear dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick told the grief stricken man "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a Baptist church down the road, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."
The old fellow said "I'll go right now. Thank you Father...By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick replied
"Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."
What do you call the dapper bouncer at a coin op laundromat?
The Deter Gent.
;D
Why did the mathematician ignore the tan lady on the beach?
He was too concerned with the tan gent.
A narcissist walks into a bar...
A narcissist walks into a bar and orders a drink for the handsome gent winking at him from the opposite side of the room.
The bartender looks around.
"Sir, that's a mirror."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An English gent was having a go with his lady
She decided she wanted to start mixing up in the bedroom. One night she looked at him dead in the eyes as they were b**... and said "make love to me like you've never made love to me before!"
So he took his socks off.
What do you call a peaceful Bruce Lee?
Gent Lee (Gently)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gentleman
Despite the fact that I'm a gentleman, I have no luck with women, I just always seem to screw things up.
Recently I saw an attractive woman. I decided to open the doors for her. Unfortunately, she got s**... out of the plane.
What did the gentleman say to the doctor when he went to get his pus drained?
Please! I in cyst!
How do you gently wake up a sleeping baby?
Don't preheat the oven when you bake it.
How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I tried to be a gentleman to this pretty lady, so I held the door open for her...
But she just screamed at me as she got s**... out of the plane! Women are so ungrateful for nice guys nowadays.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND WE MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD FOR ANYTHING"
"sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"
"Oh rad, bring it in"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Let there be a gentle breeze.
And somebody f**....
A Gentlemen always seeks for the best
And thus he remains single and clean shaven throughout his life.
Gillette The best a man can get..
I'm a gentleman in the streets
and asleep in the sheets.
When he gently removed her bra, she whispered
why were you wearing my bra?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I gently slid her p**... to the side...
....so I could fit her socks into the drawer
[OC, be gentle] Ronald McDonald snuck up on a Happy Meal and said, "Serve fries!!!"
The Happy Meal replied, "Nugget out of my face."
I tried to be a gentleman by picking up something heavy for a lady
But she ended up getting mad at me in front of everyone at the gym
Saw a gentleman with a Christmas walking stick
Saw a gentleman with a Christmas themed walking stick, covered in tinsel and alot of tree lights, I complimented the man on the festiveness of the stick.
He turned and said "Yes well usually I have difficulty with my stick being a bit too heavy but this is the only time of the year it's light"..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As a gentleman, I always hold the door open for the ladies and let them go through first
You never know where there might be a s**... hiding
What did your very genteel attorney tell you about the Rather Rude Forest?
"Of course, we wish to avoid any unpleasant trees."
I tried to be a gentleman today and held the door for someone.
Turns out it's not polite if it's a revolving door.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did a Gentleman (nice guy) say after s**...?
-The Pleasure is all mine.
Just came up with this be gentle
What do you get when you cross cowboys with communism?
*Manifest destiny*
I went to the gents barbers today and he asked me "Do you want your hair cut around the back?"
I said "Nah buddy, in here is fine."
I think this guy at the beach has gone mad while sunbathing, he won't stop talking about trigonometry!
He's a tan gent on a tangent tangent.
I gently got into bed beside her, kissed her neck and whispered, "That number you gave me at the bar tonight…"
…doesn't exist."
Man walks by the cemetery...
A fellow was strolling by the cemetery one day and glancing over the fence noticed a Gent down on his knees at a gravesite sobbing and pounding his fists on the stone and sobbing....."Why did you have to die?, why, oh why did you have to die?"
The sight of this fellow in such misery really had an effect on him, so he gently walked up to the man in the cemetery, putting his arm around his shoulders, he said, "It pains me so to see a fellow human in such a state of misery, I am so sorry for your loss." "Was it your wife?", he asked.....
"No", the poor soul responded, " It was her first husband."
An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said, "Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gentrification is like circumcision...
It removes the hood
What do you call the glamorously dapper bouncer at the local laundromat who helped the singer of "Never Gonna Give You Up" through his anger issues?
Fab Rick softening deter gent.
As a gentleman, I asked my date if I could push in her stool...
She said let's see how the date goes first
What does a gentlemanly virus say to its host?
*Tips fedora* Malady.
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?
Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.
Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?
A Gentleman happening to turn up against a House to make Water,
did not see two young Ladies looking out of a Window close by him, 'till he heard them giggling, then looking towards them, he asked, what made them so merry? O! Lord, Sir, said one of them, a very little Thing will make us laugh.
Gentlemen, there are two strategies for winning an argument with your wife.
Neither of them work.
Was at the vet last week....
Was at the vet last week and struck up a conversation with an older gent sitting next to me. A few mins into our conversation a green snake pokes its head out of his pocket and says "Woof!"
I looked with shock and asked his "What was that?"
He says 'oh, it's my pet snake'
'Whats he here for?' I asked
He answered in a whisper "He has E-reptile dysfunction!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In a a gents restroom, a man is sitting in a stall doing his business.
Suddenly the man in the next stall starts a conversation:
"Hello there!"
"Umm... Hello"
"How are you?"
"I'm uhh..fine... How about yourself?"
"I'm doing great. What are your doing right now?"
"Uhhhh..... Nothing much.... Just sitting here...."
"Shall I come over?"
"*Nervously* Noooo!! That would be so awkward"
"Alright man I'll hang up now, the idiot in the next stall is responding to everything I say."
A very drunk gent checked into a hotel late one Saturday night
He awoke very ill and summoned a bellboy to fetch him a bottle of whiskey and a Sunday newspaper. The bellhop was gone a long time.
When he returned, the drunk remarked, "It must be hard to buy a bottle in this town on Sunday."
"There was no trouble with the whiskey," replied the bellboy, "but it's tough finding a Sunday paper on Tuesday."
Why are gentle men so good in bed?
Because ladies come first.
I was on a date at a restaurant.
At the end, she reached around in her pockets, then said, "Oh noooo! I forgot my purse!"
I said, "It's fine, don't worry...I'll pay."
"You're a gent," she replied.
Thankfully I made the money back by selling her purse.
