Genius Jokes
142 genius jokes and hilarious genius puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about genius that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make everyone laugh out loud with these genius jokes that cover a wide range of topics, including the genius bar, genius math, genius yo mama, masterminds, and the ingenious genie! Have a great time exploring this collection of funny and clever jokes.
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Funniest Genius Short Jokes
Short genius jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The genius humour may include short genie jokes also.
- How does a pregnant mermaid give birth? "Sea-section"
Sorry, I thought of that last night and just had to share my genius with the world. - Little brother told me this joke, genius. "Why did beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
-why
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"
- My sons cheezits joke. You should name the dog Cheezits! Then if he starts sneezing, you can call him Sneezits!
I laughed and thought his 8 year old genius needed shared with the world. - What did the sadistic lifeguard with a lisp say to the genius who couldn't swim? I like the way you think!
- Scissors are a beautifully simplistic piece of technology. Their invention was nothing but shear genius.
- A programming genius named Sewter Built a limerick-writing computer
The metre was fine
And the rhymes quite divine
But for some reason it always got the last line wrong - I told my friend that he had his shoes on the wrong feet. He said, "These are the only feet I have, genius."
- TIL Donald Trump personally built the barn for his daughters horses, and apparently he did a better job than most professional barn raisers do. Guess you could say that makes him a stable Genius.
- Challenge Only a Genius can say these four words, Four times Really fast without getting Tongue twisted.
Eye , Yum , Stew , Peed - Sometime in the Middle Ages Queen: come to bed
King: not until i have a name for my soldiers
Queen: k night
King: babe ur a genius
(Source: @fro_vo on Twitter)
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Genius One Liners
Which genius one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with genius? I can suggest the ones about brilliant and smart people.
- Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for He said 'Genius'
- What genius decided to call it erectile dysfunction and not Ballzheimer's?
- To the genius who invented 1ply toilet paper.... I wanna shake your hand.
- Took an IQ test today. Got 404, guess I'm a genius
- What do you call someone with amazing equestrian skills? A Stable Genius.
- What do you call a genius who died in a guillotine? Ahead of his time
- I'm such a genius... I know everything about the Dunning-Kruger effect!
- Give me an example of a genius: The man who put the 'b' in subtle.
- I have the heart of a champion, the brain of a genius and the keys to the county morgue.
- What's the difference between crazy and genius? A psych degree.
- Did you hear about the horse that could read and write? He was a stable genius.
- What do you call a picture of a wizard working at a Genius Bar? An iMage.
- Maths teacher: What is line? A genius answered : A line is a dot, going for a walk....
- How do you say genius sarcastically? Apple genius.
- I know a lot about horses I'm a stable genius.
Genius Math Jokes
Here is a list of funny genius math jokes and even better genius math puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- GenIus math level I have an imaginary girlfriend. Does that mean I'm in a complex relationship.
- My farmer friend claims one of his horses can do math using its hooves. It is a stable genius.
- Only evil math geniuses will get this Because I just foiled their (p+l)(a+n)
- I have a math genius co-worker, And everyone seems to think he is a co-median.
- Republicans are math geniuses. They want you to both multiply and divide.
- My girlfriend called me a comedic genius... I should probably clean off before I do math.
Genius Bar Jokes
Here is a list of funny genius bar jokes and even better genius bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do the folks at the Genius Bar drink their beer? Out of Einsteins
- The genius and the pool player A genius walks into a bar and says, "I have 200 IQ!"
The pool player replies, "I have an eye cue too!" and pokes the genius in the eye. - A sheep walks into a bar joke A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
- This joke came to me while waiting on my iphone repair at the Apple store.. What do people at the Genius Bar drink from?
-Einsteins
Laughable Genius Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about genius you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bright idea jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make genius pranks.
Why are smart people so smelly?
Because genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
(My son made this up)
So the genius kid in my computer class got an F on a test. It was only 15 question.
Good thing is was a test on hex
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sigmund Freud discovered the "Freudian Slip"
which in my opinion, was pure p**......I mean genius.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was it called when Einstein m**...?
s**... of genius.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Born without eyelids.
Last week a little boy was born at the hospital without any eyelids. Puzzled the doctors didn't know what to make of it. In a snap of genius, when they circumcised the boy they also replaced his missing eyelids. Only problem is now he's c**...-eyed.
There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...
...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.
The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.
What did the joints say to the arthritis pain?
Uh-Leave!
I made this up when I was a little kid and naturally thought I was a comedic genius for many unfortunate years to come.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is the sport of cricket called cricket?
A: **Because it's boring.**
*Was told this by a 10 year old, and didn't quite get it at first, but I think it's rather genius.*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old ladies are outside smoking a cigarette
It starts raining and without hesitating one of the ladies pulls a c**... out of her purse and covers the cig to keep it from getting wet.
The other lady thinks this is genius and walks to the nearest pharmacy.
She grabs a pack of extra large condoms and proceeds to check out.
The cashier says," ma'am, are you sure you need these in extra large?"
The old lady replies, "well I'm not sure, do you think they'll fit a Camel?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
9% Smarter
Why are men 9% smarter after s**...?
They were plugged into a Genius.
I'm not lazy
I chose to use my creative genius on mastering efficiency
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Be Friends with s**... people y'all feel like a genius.
A genius artist develops a lisp
All of his works are Mathterpietheth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a h**... from a rocket scientist?
A s**... of genius.
Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
Because their plugged into a genius!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I phoned my insurance agent earlier and asked him for a quote.
He said " I have nothing to declare but my genius. Oscar Wilde, 1882 ".
I replied "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Oscar Wilde, 1882 ".
I think I might be a genius!
My nephew has a 12 piece jigsaw puzzle that says 3-5 years on the box and I managed to complete it in just 7 hours!
Wife sends this note complainin about her husband. The reply is genius
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Genius
A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?" The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?" The idiot hands over $5.
20 Censored Movie Lines So Absurd They're Borderline Genius
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've never had a s**... of genius.
Mostly because I have exceptional vascular health.
The Martian had a genius marketing strategy
Planting water on Mars and everything. They must really want people to see this film.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some say geniuses learn from others' mistakes...
Then I guess you have learned a great deal from yourself, your parents' mistake.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when einstein jacks off????
a s**... of genius!!!!!
(its terrible, i know)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stephen Hawking's cleaner once j**... him off while he was sleeping.
It was a s**... of genius.
A teacher asks her class to use 'contagious' in a sentence
A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.
"Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's it called when a smart girl jerks you off?
A s**... of genius!
I hear Sisyphus was a musical genius
The original master of rock and roll!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What would you call a social media marketing genius?
m**...
What did Beethoven the dog shed in a moment of genius?
Fur Elise
They say we learn from our mistakes...
That's why I'm making as many as possible.
I'll soon be a genius!
Jimmy in the school..
One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, "Why are you home so early?" He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class." She said, "Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?" Jimmy replied, "The question was 'Who threw the trash can at the principal's head?'"
Two guys were talking...
One of they said: "One day i found a magic genius, he offered me two things: A bunch of hot women's or a good memory." What did you choose? The other said. "I can't remember..."
#ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE
It was a year ago today.
Not mine, but genius.
How many geniuses does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Thomas Edison
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The man who coined the term 'void'...
...is called a genius for nothing.
I can say I'm one of those prodigy geniuses who just don't have any enthusiasm.
All I need now is to be a genius.
I've only ever met one genius writer who could please a woman.
He was a real cunning linguist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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The person who created the sign "CAUTION HOT SURFACE"...
...in braille, was an evil genius.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happened when Stephen Hawking's wife gave him a h**...?
She had a s**... of genius.
TIL to never do magic tricks to rappers like Wu-Tang Clan.
Apparently they have some pretty Genius Methods for Inspecting your Deck.
An Irish genius named Sean...
An Irish genius named Sean once discovered how to clone himself but was always hesitant to make more than 9 copies of himself. It turns out he couldn't handle the ten-Sean among everyone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Jimmy the ISIS genius say before he died?
Gotta blast!
Whoever designed the octagon was a genius.
But whoever designed the circle definitely cut corners.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandma recently claimed she once gave a h**... to Albert Einstein..
What a s**... of genius.
Love is the seventh sense
According to Genius William Sexfear,
Love is the seventh sense
that destroys all the other 'Six Senses'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Einstein wasn't a genius at s**... ed...
When asked how boys are different than girls, he stuttered:
Vas de-deferens
I took an iq test yesterday on Facebook, as a matter of act...
and it told me im a genius! in the *top 99%*!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When a musician's fingers move really fast across a piano, they're considered a prodigy and a genius.
But when i go even faster on full-screen rhythm games on my iPad, I'm "lazy", "going to get carpal tunnel syndrome", "unproductive", and "ruining the f**..., Emily".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call it when Stephen Hawking gets a r**... hard on?
A bonerfied genius.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Today I decided to go on a 100 day #NoFap.
It was a s**... of genius.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I got a h**... from Albert Einstein the other day...
It was a s**... of genius
Does anyone know where I can find a stable genius?
My horses need a place to sleep tonight.
I texted my American friend and asked him to send a stable genius our way as we were fresh out.
He said that last stable genius the US had was Secretariat in 1973.
What do you call an orange on a tight rope?
"A very stable genius"
What do you call the living quarters for a group of horses?
A stable, genius.
I did some work with polynomial equations today, I think I'm a genius.
*Homogeneous
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had a s**... of genius this morning
And now my genius is paralyzed
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Why do guys think they know it all in the sack?
Because they're plugged into a genius!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One teacher snickered to another I hear Billy in your class is a real genius.
To which she became irritated and replied Sarcasm: just what these kids need...
On a faraway island lived a solitary genius
On a tribal island, far far away from here, lived a man called Cong Clu. Mr. Clu was a physicist, and had lately taken a liking to particle physics.
His research, however, was disturbed quite a lot, by the strong magnetic flow from the ferrous rocks, that the island was made up of, and in the end he had to give up..
It simply proved too hard to draw Cong Clu's Ions from the experiments.
It was so embarrassing for me that my jokes always fall flat, that I finally asked a professional comedian for help.
The guy is a genius, I'm not embarrassed anymore.
Intelligent Minds
Albert Einstein: Genius mind
Isaac Newton: Extraordinary mind
Bill Gates: Brilliant mind
You: Never mind
What does a genius order at McDonalds?
The E Equals McSquared
Me, after making the 127th mistake at work: I learn from my mistakes.
Coworker: Then you \*should\* be a genius.
Alfred Einestein was a genius
But his brother Frank was a monster
