Genetic Jokes
78 genetic jokes and hilarious genetic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about genetic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Love to laugh? Enjoy a good joke? Check out this collection of puns, comedy and silly bits about genetic engineering, genetic testing, genetic mutation, genetic science, genetic counselors, and more! With topics ranging from the psychological to the inconclusive and the humorous to the gene-ius, this article is sure to keep you in stitches!
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Funniest Genetic Short Jokes
Short genetic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The genetic humour may include short hereditary jokes also.
- I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you... I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...
- Scene at the supermarket... Customer: Pardon me, but are these vegetables genetically modified?
Clerk: No, sir. Why do you ask?
Carrot: Yeah, why do you ask? - What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus? Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.
- What do you get when you cross a bat and a man? A ban. Specifically, a lifetime ban from the genetics labs, as well as a visit from the ethics committee.
- A very curious customer asked a local tomato farmer if their tomatoes are genetically modified. "No." Said the farmer
"No." Said the tomato - "Doctor, I think I have genetic diarrhoea" "But diarrhoea isn't genetic"
"Well, it's in my jeans" - What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar? An ice Kareem clone
- My girlfriend isn't just beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well. She must have a great genetic makeup.
- What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
- Why was the first person to have their eyes genetically edited so pleased? Well, who wouldn't want CRISPR vision?
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Genetic One Liners
Which genetic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with genetic? I can suggest the ones about biological and nuclear.
- "Should I be concerned about eating genetically modified tomatoes?" Tomato: "No"
- Scared of eating genetically modified fruit? Grow a pear.
- I don't always feel like I won the genetic lottery, but when I do... I'm at Wal-mart.
- They say mental illness is genetic I know my kids make me crazy
- Why did the DNA chain blush? It was part of his genetic makeup.
- What did the genetic engineer say on December 25th? Merry CRISPRmas!
- What do you call a genetically altered picnic pest that can't speak? A mute ant
- What kind of drug can you genetically engineer a goat to make? Am-feta-mines.
- Roses are red, Roses are red,
Roses are blue,
Roses are white,
Genetics. - Why were the anti-vaxxing parents crying? They found out autism is genetic
- I had a genetic test done... I learned brave men run in my family
- What Sound Does a Genetically Modified Cow Make? "Gmoo"
- Why did the knife have a genetic disease? It was in bread.
- Irritable Bowel Syndrome is genetic. It runs in your jeans.
- Did you hear about the baker who was trapped by genetics He was in-bread.
Genetic Engineering Jokes
Here is a list of funny genetic engineering jokes and even better genetic engineering puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My nephew was genetically engineered to be like both frank sinatra and Albert Einstein. He's a regular Frank Einstein.
- If they genetically engineered a cow to produce chocolate milk, that would be sweet.
- I don't believe in genetic engineering... At least not until I see pigs fly
- How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers? Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?
Genetic Testing Jokes
Here is a list of funny genetic testing jokes and even better genetic testing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scotsman get a genetic test He was surprised by the results.
- Had my DNA tested to see if i any genetic diseases run in my family... only thing thats running in my jeans is diarrhea :(
- I submitted my DNA for genetic testing and the lab wrote back that I'm related to Donald Trump! I guess that's what I get for using 24 and me . . .
- Why did the Biologist cross the road? Because he ran out of test subjects in his genetics lab.
Genetic Makeup Jokes
Here is a list of funny genetic makeup jokes and even better genetic makeup puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do DNA look so good under the microscope? Because they have on good genetic makeup
- What do you call a gnome's genetic makeup? A g-nome.
Genetic Mutation Jokes
Here is a list of funny genetic mutation jokes and even better genetic mutation puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I learned about genetic mutation in biology today. It was my first class.
The Funniest Genetic Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about genetic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean inherited jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make genetic pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Project: Reimagined
There once was a secret government program that tried to create perfect soldiers through genetic modification, cloning, and strenuous conditioning.
What they wanted to achieve was the normal super soldier run down:
- Super strong
- Super fast
- Super smart
- Super obedient
They started out by impregnating 10 women with the altered embryos. For the sake of confidentiality the clones were numbered instead of named, 1-10.
The modifications seemed to work in some of the clones, but it caused some strange side effects in the other ones, not all of them survived childhood.
The first to go was 8. She wasn't told to eat, so she starved.
Then it was 2 and 10. 2 had become dangerously aggressive and attacked 10, who fought back just well enough.
Next went 4 to some disconnect in her nervous system.
Then 1, when she tried to escape after a mental break down.
3 and 5 committed s**....
The project was terminated after an incident where 9 went missing. In the file there was what seemed to be a transcript from an interview of 6, the terrified clone who witnessed it.
"Dr: Where has 9 gone? Has she told you her plan after she escaped.
6: 9 didn't escape.
Dr: What are you talking about? The whole base has been searched! 9 is nowhere to be found! Where is 9?
6: You aren't listening! 9 didn't escape, 7 killed her!
Dr: What? How? How did she kill her and then get rid of the body?
6: Isn't it obvious Doctor? 7 ate 9."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A geneticist was unhappy with the result when he spliced potato DNA with that of his own g**....
Nobody likes dictators
Professor San Holo
Prof San Holo was busy at his lab. He was experimenting with splicing genetic material from rams into eggs of bees. With global warming, certain species of flowering plants flourish while others perish. The idea was to give bees the ability to digest leaves and grass to make honey and thereby reduce the need to be reliant on nectar and pollen from flowers.
The first splicing was a disaster. The bee digestive system became dysfunctional.
The second attempt disrupted the honey production with lactose contaminant.
The bee grew tiny horns in the third!
He then tried DNA from a sheep and Eureka! Yes indeed. It worked because he
Made the Fourth Bee with Ewe.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was once a psych researcher with a rare genetic defect that gave her four buttocks.
She was fired for being bi-assed.
Two blondes are working together to the crack genetic code
What do you get if you genetically crossed a rabbit and an oyster?
A Nobel Prize
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Genetic link to male ageing and stress found
in the x**... s**... chromosome.
Hopefully it translates well enough into english.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A geneticist is having s**......
During foreplay, the geneticist's partner kept moaning "Aug, aug, AUG!"
The geneticist later proclaims, "I don't know where to start!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the geneticist get into advertising?
s**... Cells
Girl walks up to a guy and says "hey, you've got a white stain on your shirt"
Guy says, "Sorry, it's genetic."
Where do geneticists store vegetables?
In the CRISPR drawer
Recently, a group of scientists discovered...
a subclass of ant has a genetic mutation that makes them grow larger than average, DESPITE missing a jointed segment on their legs. This same mutation also causes them to have an aversion to dairy-based foods, even with their high based sugar content.
TL;DR lack-toes-in-taller-ants
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know that Canadians don't have a genetic code?
There's no D in Eh!
Paleontologists have determined that there once was a genetic mutation millions of years ago that resulted in the creation of a five-legged dinosaur.
As far as we know, this is the first evidence ever seen of a reptile dysfunction.
Viruses inject their genetic materials into organisms.
It's the same way with guys.
If i could change my DNA to be better in law enforcement
... It could lead to serious genetic cop-sequences.
A brown paper bag visits the doctor.
A brown paper bag visits the doctor, who gives them some terrible news.
"I'm so sorry to tell you this, but you have a genetic disease."
The brown paper bag, understandably, is horrified, "But how can that be? I'm a brown paper bag!"
The doctor replies, "Yes, but one of your parents must have been a carrier."
Genetically altered common cold virus spreads...
If you genetically edit the DNA of lettuce...
... you can make it CRISPR
Not mine... I read it off Twitter
My mom suffers from short-term memory loss
I hope it's nothing genetic because I'm worried since my mom suffers from short-term memory loss
Why did the man with a genetic disease wear cargo pants?
Because he hates his genes.
Genetics tells you why you look like your parents
And if not why you should
A genetic botanist doesn't show up to the church picnic.
Her concerned husband finds her in her lab working feverishly on a new pesticide resistant strain of maize.
"Aren't you coming to the congregation picnic?". He asks.
"Screw them and their impossible deadlines! They told me I have until today to get the corn bred!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother and a son walk into a doctor's office
Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.
The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become s**...."
The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?"
"Well I don't know for sure but he hasn't passed a single test since he was vaccinated last year."
"Ah-ha! That's it!"
"So it was the vaccines then?"
"No, it's genetic."
Did you know lactose intolerance is a genetic thing?
Runs in the family.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You're more genetically related to your parents than they are to each other
Or at least so I hope.
If you're genetically predisposed to spelling and grammar errors, does that mean you're…
…typo positive?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are all the good Genetic Scientists from NZ?
They've been mixing human and sheep DNA for centuries
Why did the genetically modified chicken taste better than the regular one?
It was CRISPR!
What does a geneticist do to ice cream?
Helix it!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How can you tell if someone is a geneticist or k**...?
Ask them what the opposite of dominant is.
