genetic Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious genetic puns

A mother and a son walk into a doctor's office

Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.
The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become stupid."
The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?"
"Well I don't know for sure but he hasn't passed a single test since he was vaccinated last year."
"Ah-ha! That's it!"
"So it was the vaccines then?"
"No, it's genetic."

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Diarrhea is genetic

It runs in your jeans

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I can't believe Prince Harry, who's British royalty, is marrying African American actress Meghan Markle. Why would someone that rich and famous marry an obviously inferior genetic specimen? It's just unthinkable.

Though I suppose if Meghan wants to marry a ginger, it's none of my business.

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A recent study revealed that diarrhea is genetic...

.....It runs in the genes.

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Recently, a group of scientists discovered...

a subclass of ant has a genetic mutation that makes them grow larger than average, DESPITE missing a jointed segment on their legs. This same mutation also causes them to have an aversion to dairy-based foods, even with their high based sugar content.

TL;DR lack-toes-in-taller-ants

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What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

An ice Kareem clone

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"Doctor, I think I have genetic diarrhoea"

"But diarrhoea isn't genetic"
"Well, it's in my jeans"

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My girlfriend isn't just beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well.

She must have a great genetic makeup.

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I don't always feel like I won the genetic lottery, but when I do...

I'm at Wal-mart.

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Where do geneticists store vegetables?

In the CRISPR drawer

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A geneticist is having sex...

During foreplay, the geneticist's partner kept moaning "Aug, aug, AUG!"

The geneticist later proclaims, "I don't know where to start!"

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I recently learned diarrhea is genetic...

Yeah, it runs in your genes.

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A geneticist was unhappy with the result when he spliced potato DNA with that of his own genitals.

Nobody likes dictators

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Did you know that diarrhea is genetic...

Yea, it runs in your genes.

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So my genetics professor reported this morning that diarrhea has a genetic basis

According to her, it runs in our jeans.

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What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig?

A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

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A genetic botanist doesn't show up to the church picnic.

Her concerned husband finds her in her lab working feverishly on a new pesticide resistant strain of maize.

"Aren't you coming to the congregation picnic?". He asks.

"Screw them and their impossible deadlines! They told me I have until today to get the corn bred!"

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I just found out diarrhea is genetic...

It runs in your genes.

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Diarrhea is actually genetic.

It's in your jeans.

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They say mental illness is genetic

I know my kids make me crazy

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How does the geneticist eat his ice cream?

Helix it.

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My mom suffers from short-term memory loss

I hope it's nothing genetic because I'm worried since my mom suffers from short-term memory loss

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What did the genetic engineer say on December 25th?

Merry CRISPRmas!

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Project: Reimagined

There once was a secret government program that tried to create perfect soldiers through genetic modification, cloning, and strenuous conditioning.
What they wanted to achieve was the normal super soldier run down:
- Super strong
- Super fast
- Super smart
- Super obedient
They started out by impregnating 10 women with the altered embryos. For the sake of confidentiality the clones were numbered instead of named, 1-10.
The modifications seemed to work in some of the clones, but it caused some strange side effects in the other ones, not all of them survived childhood.

The first to go was 8. She wasn't told to eat, so she starved.

Then it was 2 and 10. 2 had become dangerously aggressive and attacked 10, who fought back just well enough.

Next went 4 to some disconnect in her nervous system.

Then 1, when she tried to escape after a mental break down.

3 and 5 committed suicide.

The project was terminated after an incident where 9 went missing. In the file there was what seemed to be a transcript from an interview of 6, the terrified clone who witnessed it.
"Dr: Where has 9 gone? Has she told you her plan after she escaped.

6: 9 didn't escape.

Dr: What are you talking about? The whole base has been searched! 9 is nowhere to be found! Where is 9?

6: You aren't listening! 9 didn't escape, 7 killed her!

Dr: What? How? How did she kill her and then get rid of the body?

6: Isn't it obvious Doctor? 7 ate 9."

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Paleontologists have determined that there once was a genetic mutation millions of years ago that resulted in the creation of a five-legged dinosaur.

As far as we know, this is the first evidence ever seen of a reptile dysfunction.

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Where do you keep genetically modified vegetables that cure cancer?

In the CRISPR drawer.

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scotsman get a genetic test

He was surprised by the results.

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If you genetically edit the DNA of lettuce...

... you can make it CRISPR

Not mine... I read it off Twitter

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I had a genetic test done...

I learned brave men run in my family

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Why were the anti-vaxxing parents crying?

They found out autism is genetic

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A brown paper bag visits the doctor.

A brown paper bag visits the doctor, who gives them some terrible news.

"I'm so sorry to tell you this, but you have a genetic disease."

The brown paper bag, understandably, is horrified, "But how can that be? I'm a brown paper bag!"

The doctor replies, "Yes, but one of your parents must have been a carrier."

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There was once a psych researcher with a rare genetic defect that gave her four buttocks.

She was fired for being bi-assed.

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Irritable Bowel Syndrome is genetic.

It runs in your jeans.

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Why did the knife have a genetic disease?

It was in bread.

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Recent Scientific Discovery: Diarrhea Is Genetic.

It runs in your genes.

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What are the most funny Genetic jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Genetic? Well, here are the best Genetic dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Genetic pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes