Generous Jokes
57 generous jokes and hilarious generous puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about generous that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Generous Short Jokes
Short generous jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The generous humour may include short stingy jokes also.
- When bill gates donates 30% of his net worth He is praised as a generous hero, But when I do it people tell me they don't accept donations under a dollar.
- I got a pay rise in my job. At the end of the day, I went to the pub and bought a drink for everyone there.
I like to be generous, even if they did feel a bit weird sharing the same pint. - My mother always said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. She was a lovely and generous woman, but a terrible surgeon.
- UK is a very generous country It is the largest supplier of independence day to countries around the world.
- Wanted: Personal psychic for wealthy client. Salary: $10,000 per week plus bonuses.
Free accommodation.
10 weeks paid leave per year.
Company car.
Generous pension scheme.
You know where to apply. - Today convinced me that society isn't deteriorating as much as we think. I was on the bus at 6am and this really generous guy offered me a sip from his half-empty whiskey bottle.
- I wrote a very generous check as a donation to a local animal shelter.. I heard dogs love things that bounce.
- when I was growing up the winters were rough, my dad made us huddle round only a single candle. if he was feeling generous he would even light it.
- Yo Mama's so generous... ...she gave you an extra helping of chromosomes.
^^^OriginalJoke - My wife and I were talking about obscure animals. She said, "I want to get a manatee."
"That's very generous," I replied, "no cream, no sugar please hun!"
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Generous One Liners
Which generous one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with generous? I can suggest the ones about greedy and frugal.
- Ellen should give away more stuff Then rename her show Ellen the Generous.
- No matter how generous and caring your children are... German children are kinder.
- Why are fishmongers never generous? Because their business makes them sell-fish.
- Who's the most generous celebrity? Cher
- My Thai girlfriend is so generous She gave me a pearl necklace.
- What do you call a generous gymnast? A flipanthropist.
- Which musician is the most generous? Cher
- Have you heard of Ellen, the woman who donates a lot? Ellen de Generous
- I'm a generous, nice guy... ...I think the people in my basement would agree.
- Why so many gifts on the Ellen show? For the name of the host is Ellen the Generous
- Please Give Generously to your High School Gym Program! Be an athletic supporter!
- Why can't fishermen be generous? Because their business makes them sell fish!
- What do you call the altruistic version of Ellen Degeneres? Ellen The Generous.
- What do you call Aaron Rodgers' generous daughter? Sharon Rodgers
- I just got a new job working for R.E.M. . . . I'm expecting a generous Michael Stipend.
Uproarious Generous Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about generous you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kindly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make generous pranks.
Some men are discussing the meaning of life...
Some men are sitting around discussing the meaning of life.
One turns and asks the others, "If tomorrow all your loved ones found themselves at a f**..., gathered around your casket, what would you want to hear them say?"
One starts off saying, "I hope they would say I was a good father and husband".
The next says "I want them to say I was not only successful, but a kind and generous man too".
"I'd want them to say", says the last man, "Hey look, he's moving!"
An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery.
But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case a need arose.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.
Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW motorcycle, diamonds and a substantial sum of money.
A couple of days later, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.
His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another motorcycle, diamonds & money... but you only gave me a thank-you card & a box of Quality Street chocolates."
To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".
A German, a Russian, and a Syrian are in a life raft ...
The raft is slowly sinking and the 3 castaways are afraid it will sink before they are rescued, so they start looking around for things they can dispose of to lighten the load.
The Russian takes a case of fine v**..., throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty of that in my country."
Seeing the Russian's generous gesture, the Syrian takes a bag of fine hibiscus tea, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty in my country."
Finally, the German, seeing that it is his turn, throws the Syrian overboard and says, "We have plenty of those in my country."
How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters?
Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer.
A dying grandma tells her grandchild....
A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Grandma whispered, "Facebook..."
My wife and I were talking about obscure animals.
She said, "I want to get a manatee."
"That's very generous," I replied, "I take it with two sugars."
My girlfriend's dad just gave me the green light.
Which was very generous, but I don't find him s**....
My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my birthday.
I was quite surprised when the gave me a rolex. It was an incredibly generous gift, but I think they misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch."
Liberals are more generous than conservatives
Not only are they generous with their own money, they are also generous with other people's money!
(This is just a joke sorry)
I was walking down thenstreet and saw a homeless man
Being the generous person I am, I gave him a dollar
I walked a little further and found a homeless woman. Being the generous person I am, I gave her 76 cents.
A doctor and a lawyer met with an accident....
A doctor and a lawyer in 2 cars collide on a country road.
The lawyer seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helps him from the car and offers him a drink from his hip flask.
The doctor accepts and has a couple of generous sips and hands it back to the lawyer, who closes it and puts it away.
"Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asks the doctor.
"Sure, after the police leave."
My good deed for the day
In the line at Walmart there was a little old lady in front of me, $73 of shopping but her card was declined!
I was feeling generous especially at this time of year and you've got to help out so I helped her put it all back.
California hasn't fallen into the sea, so apparently it worked.
Back in the 1970's there was a cult in California who believed that they could save California by appeasing the San Andreas. There were parts of San Andreas that literally gaped open wide, and members of the cult were noted for throwing all their earthly possessions down into the amazingly deep cracks in the Earth's crust. Of course, skeptics accused the cult of being merely generous to a fault.
Very generous barber
Is cutting a police officers hair, after that the police takes out his wallet, but barber says it's for free. The next morning barber finds dozen donuts left for him at the door.
Later that day, a florist comes, and as he is taking out his wallet, the barber says it's for free. The next morning barber finds dozen flowers left at the door.
Later that day a jew walks in, he cuts his hair, and then says it's for free.
The next morning barber finds dozen jews at the door.
I'm very stern in reminding people to tip generously when they go eat somewhere
Especially somewhere like my house.
Satan challenges God to a basketball game, so God puts together a choice team from heaven and goes down to h**....
When they come back to heaven, it's with shocking news: they lost the game 52 to 140!
The v**... Mary is stunned, "How could you possibly lose the game with a team like yours?! Didn't you have the best saints, the most generous souls, the philanthropists and Jesus himself??"
"Yes," fumes God, "it turns out they're all terrible at receiving."
An Asian man goes on a trip to America
He goes to an American Bank to converts his money to dollars, while going through his trip he meets a generous old friend who decides to let him stay in his place and also pay for his expenses during his stay.
After a few days he decides to return back to his country and heads to the bank to convert his money back. But the asian man sees that he received less money than he previously had even though he hadn't spent anything, so he asks about this to the banker.
The banker said," fluctuations ".
The asian man replied," fluck you americans too".
Margaret Thatcher walks out of a restaurant and sees a man with a sign "Falklands veteran, please give generously".
She hands him a 20 pound bill, then He gives a big smile and says "Muchas Gracias Señora!".
Two boys walk late into class
Their pants were wet up to their knees.
The teacher asks, "Where have you been."
One of the boys says to the teacher, "We were throwing pebbles in the lake."
The teacher, feeling generous told the boys to sit down at their desks and tells the class there will be a new student joining them today, and starts the lesson
Ten minutes later a girl walks into class, soaking wet from head to toe.
The teacher asks, "You must be the new student, what's your name dear?"
The girl responds, "I'm Pebbles."
I applied for a job at the Chinese Embassy
Decided not to accept their generous offer because of all the red flags
After attempting to climb Everest and failing, John has severe frostbite, hypothermia and goes into a coma.
After a lengthy and dangerous mountaintop rescue he's rushed to the nearest hospital, where after several days he finally wakes and is greeted by the Nepalese doctor.
Sir, I have bad news and good news. John, ever the optimist asks for the good news first.
Okay, the good news is the patient in the next bed has offered you a very generous amount for your slippers...
A kind and generous doctor walks into a bar…
Seeing a balance of happy crowd inside she shouts happily free shots for everyone!
Half of the crowd happily get their best whiskey.
The other half of the crowd are unhappy and shout back my body my rights!
Two guys were in an English pub.
They called the publican over to settle an argument.
"Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one.
"There are two pints in a quart" confirmed the publican.
They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.
"Two pints miss, and they are on the house."
The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the guys called out to the publican at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?"
"That's right," he called back, "two pints."
A man calls over a waiter during his meal 'There is a fly swimming in my soup!'
'Look on the bright side Sir' replied the waiter 'If the portions weren't so generous he'd be wading'
Two old ladies Dolly and Ruby were talking about their grandchildren.
Dolly said, "Each year I send each of my grandchildren a card with a generous check inside. I never hear from them... never receive a thank you message."
Ruby replies, "I too send my grandchildren a very generous check. I hear from them within a week after they receive it. In fact, they each pay me a personal visit."
"Wow! How come ? remarked Dolly.
"Very simple solution... I don't sign the check!"
I haven't seen this one here.
Some monks came down to a small village in need of carpentry. They offered to replace all the wooden pillars and support beams in all the buildings by themselves. When the villagers asked why they were being so generous, the head monk simply replied
"Isn't it obvious? We're reposting for karma."
On day six of the Creation, God announced to his archangel underlings, "Today we're creating a place called Canada.
"Today we're creating a place called Canada. Pull out all the stops. Give it beautiful mountains, lakes, plains, forests, and sandy beaches. Underground, give it oil, gold, etc. Oh, and plenty of fish and wildlife."
"Sir," interjected an archangel, "aren't you being overly generous to these Canadians?"
"Don't worry, I'll balance it out," said God. "Wait 'till you see the neighbours I'm giving them."
