Gees Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Know why geese kill more humans every year than sharks?

Because it's really hard for geese to kill sharks.

Seriously though, fuck geese.

Ever wonder why when geese fly in a "V" one side is longer than the other?

Its because one side has more geese.

What is Barry Gibb better at than the rest of the Bee Gees?

Staying Alive

When geese are migrating, why is one side of the V longer than the other?

That side has more geese on it.

What are the Rolling Stones better at than the Bee gees?

Stayin' Alive

Why do geese fly south in the winter?

Walking takes too long.

You know when geese are flying in a V,

one side of the V is always longer than the other one? Know why that is?
Cause there's more geese on that side.

Son walks into the living room and says to his Dad

"Dad I think im going crazy, every time I walk past the fridge I can hear the Bee Gees"...
"Oh thats nothing" replies the Dad, "its just the chives talking".

Why do geese fly in a V formation?

Because if they walked it'd take too long.

What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band?


You know how when geese fly in a V one side tends to be longer? Do you know why that is?

More geese on that side

You know how geese always fly in a V shape, and one side of the V is always longer than the other? Ever wonder why that is?

It's because there's more geese on that side.

Last night I thought I heard the spring onions singing Bee Gees songs in my fridge.

When I opened the door I realised it was just the chives talking.

Two geese walk into a bar...

Maybe one of them should've ducked.

A catholic priest is praying

...I pray you Saint Anne...

Suddenly the devil appears: Oh, it's you again. For Pete's sake stop calling me if you don't mean it and at least pronounce my name right.

The priest shouts: Go away satan.

St. Anne appears: You want me to leave you? Gees, at least you could pronounce my name right.

The priest takes a piece of paper and writes using the sacramental wine:

I command you Satan, leave my church.

Dyslexic Santa appears:

Stop wasting the good wine! And what the heck you have against me?

(I modified the joke I wrote here earlier, I hope you like it)

A young farmer was out, selling his rooster at the marketplace.

Another farmer get close to him, interested in the creature

-That's one beautifully colored rooster you have there

-Thank you, he is indeed good looking

-But does he do his job, you know, with the hens? asks again the other farmer

-Of course he does. All day long, he fucks hens, he fucks ducks, he fucks gees

-Does he really do that??

-Aaaall day long, even more, he sometimes fucks the cows, the goats, the sheep, everything!

-Waaait a second, if he's such a good rooster, why are you selling him?

-Because yesterday he started squinting his eyes when looking at me.

Why do geese fly in V formation?

Because C would be too offensive.

When geese fly in a V do you know why one line is longer than the other?

There are more birds in that line.

I was once paid to scare the Gibbs brothers' horses...

so I gave the Bee Gees GGs the heebie jeebies

"You heard about the lady who died riding a roller coaster?"

"What? How?"
"Apparently the acceleration was too much for her."

I just learned that there's only one surviving member of the Bee Gees left.

So yeah, he's certainly stayin' alive.

The Bee Gees made a song specifically describing men

More than a woman.

Why did geese stop migrating?

Because they could no longer fly United.

What are the funniest gees jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Gees? Well, here are the best Gees puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Gees pick up lines to share with friends.


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