Geek Jokes
96 geek jokes and hilarious geek puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about geek that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find the perfect geek joke to make all the computer, pistonheads, science, and math geeks in your life chuckle. Learn about ASCII, notifications, and find out if you're a true geek freak.
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Funniest Geek Short Jokes
Short geek jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The geek humour may include short nerd jokes also.
- Q: How many geeks does it take to ruin a joke? A: You mean nerd, not geek. And not joke, but riddle. Proceed.
- My wife is a computer geek and wants to name our son "one eighth of a byte" So I said "Really honey? Don't you think that's a bit...?"
- What is the best girlfriend for a computer geek? One that turns his software into hardware.
- For the geeks An sql query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says 'Can i join you?'
- Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand. - What do you call a tall, obese computer nerd with a bladder control problem. A Big Fat Geek Wetting.
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano? Anakin Skywalker.
(Happy Geek Pride Day!) - Why did the geek want to go to a party full of vampires, zombies, and ghosts. He wanted to finally be the life of a party.
- Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply! - I was once in a music group called, "Fat Technology Geeks". We've since updated our name to: "Broadband".
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Geek One Liners
Which geek one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with geek? I can suggest the ones about it nerd and computer nerd.
- I plan on starting a geek rap band... I think I'll call it Run-D.L.L.
- I'm a huge PC building geek. Some people might even call me a CPU fan
- I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
- What do you call forty geeks playing Monopoly? Microsoft.
- Where do math geeks usually sleep at? the matrices
- What did one computer geek emo say to the other? WinRAWR.
- What is a geeks favorite horror novel? Information Technology by Stephen King
- Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch! - What do you call a tech geek you joins the wrong group of friends A miss-clique
- If nerds play RPGs, what do Geeks play? RBGs.
- NASA sends out a probe to Uranus Geeks around the world giggle.
- Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958 - Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad. - What do geeks and nerds love but cant have? 80085
- No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
Computer Geek Jokes
Here is a list of funny computer geek jokes and even better computer geek puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
- If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
- Q: What do you call a computer expert?
A: A control-alt-elite. - On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
- Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
- Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
- If the box says:
"This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'LL run on Linux? - Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
- Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
- The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
Band Geek Jokes
Here is a list of funny band geek jokes and even better band geek puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the Band Geek ask the Football star for tips? Because he's a waiter. (lol)
- What did the band geek get at the o**...? A tromboner.
Science Geek Jokes
Here is a list of funny science geek jokes and even better science geek puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Q: What did one magnet say to the other?
A: I find you very attractive. - Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
A: Classical conditioning. - A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Hilarious Geek Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about geek you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean freak jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make geek pranks.
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database?
A: His truncate it.
POST Server image uploads in android are easy.
Q: How do you be pro in clash royale?
A: Use rocket and rage spell ladies.
Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.
Q: What do you call a group of 8 hobbits
A: Hobbyte.
A man walks into a s**... Bank.
He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle.
He decides to start a conversation with him.
He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?"
The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
Warning!
User Error.
Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, "I want to call my little baby Ellie."
Nurse replies, "I'm sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?"
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
Three statisticians are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left.
The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right.
The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
Geeky Joke
There are 10 kinds of people: those who can count in binary, those who can't and those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke.
Geeky trigonometry joke my dad used to tell me
What sound does a horse make while walking?
*Clop, clop.*
What sound does a horse make while walking uphill?
*Clop, clop* multiplied by the cosine of the slope angle.
For the Geeky Engineer drone...
So they put another engineer onto our team, His name is Ian Bradley, he is the guy that checks data flow down curcuits, making sure nothing is getting held up or slowed down.
I got an email from him the other day,
the header was
IanB.org
Resistors are Futile
IT guy
John is being shown around the office by his new boss. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at once. "That's incredible", says John. "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" replied his boss. "That's stereotyping. "
Geek humor: Thanks for the upgrade...
You turned my floppy disk into a solid state.
What do you call a group of IT guys that smoke m**...?
Geek Squad
Two geeks are talking over lunch.
The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike."
The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
What do a Chinese Lycanthrope and a geek who attends a monthly sci-fi meetup dressed as a Klingon have in common?
They're both wereworfs
=D
What does a computer geek get when bit by a mosquito?
An IEEE Virus
What do you call an anonymous medical dog?
A dog-tor. (If you're a geek, you'll get it)
What do you call s**... with a Geek?
A square root.
GEEK b**...... INCHES
I've got a 21-inch... monitor.
