Gears Jokes
60 gears jokes and hilarious gears puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gears that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this unique collection of jokes related to Gears of War, tyres, pedals, and mufflers. Whether you’re into mechanics or just want a few laughs, this collection of jokes has something to offer everyone.
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Funniest Gears Short Jokes
Short gears jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gears humour may include short gates jokes also.
- Give a Man a Fish and You Will Feed Him for a Day. Teach a man to fish and he will spend a fortune on gear he will only use twice a year.
- If a tree falls..... A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!" - As a German, you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. German engineering is flawless.
- As a german I have to ask: You know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect.
- Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear? It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear
- I saved 15% on car insurance by switching.... The gear to reverse and pulling away from the accident
- Do you know what grinds my gears? Do you know what grinds my gears? I have to read the aforementioned title twice for most jokes.
- Instead of actual serious spying gear, the Chinese used a balloon. Why? Because of inflation.
- Apple came up with a tablet computer with touch screen, geared toward children. They cancelled the product when they realized nobody wants to buy something called iTouch Kids.
- Bought a Russian car... The salesman said it was the krem de la kremlin, but every time it's putin gear, it keeps stalin. My wife said, "Crimea river, I'm not lenin you my car!"
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Gears One Liners
Which gears one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gears? I can suggest the ones about shaft and tires.
- I just tried out the Samsung Gear-VR with my Note 7. It was mind-blowing.
- What do snakes use to build clocks? Metal Gears
- How many gears does a french tank have? 6, 1 forward and 5 reverse.
- Jeremy Clarkson decided not to stay with Top Gear, but James May
- What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years? Second gear.
- What do you call a Texas cop in tactical gear? A copsplayer.
- Where do emos get their gaming gear? Razer.
- You know what grinds a Germans gear? Nothing, they are too well engineered.
- I suspect, the gears on my bike are no good. Of late, they have been very shifty.
- Where do pirates get their camping gear? ARRRRRRRRRRRRR E AYYYYYYYYYYE
- You know what really grinds my gears? Not using the clutch pedal
- You know what really grinds my gears? A lack of lubrication.
- Why do french tanks have 6 gears? 5 for reverse, 1 for parade.
- How many gears does an Italian tank have? Four, one to go forward and three for reverse.
- How many gears does a french tank have? One, The reverse gear.
Mechanical Gears Jokes
Here is a list of funny mechanical gears jokes and even better mechanical gears puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A mechanical engineers wife comes out of delivery. She texts him She texts him : "your new vehicle has been launched".
He replies : " is it with gear stick or automatic?"
Gears Of War Jokes
Here is a list of funny gears of war jokes and even better gears of war puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did Gears of War 3 say when it was getting mugged? AAA
- Hey did you hear about that spy in gears of war? he was in cog. neato.
Howlingly Hilarious Gears Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about gears you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rings jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gears pranks.
What's the difference between a steampunk bike and a regular bike?
On a steampunk bike the gears don't do anything.
Have you heard about the newly developed French tank?
It has 3 forward gears and 16 reverse
I heard the French trains are built like their tanks...
... 5 reverse gears and 1 forward.
Have you heard about the new French Army armored vehicle?
It's got four gears for reverse, plus one for forward (in case the enemy gets behind it).
I don't like gears on a car, and I hate using them.
They've just always looked shifty to me.
French tanks have 6 gears for going backwards and only 1 gear for going forward
In case they get attacked from behind
As a Volkswagen Engineer, do you know what really grinds my gears?
The Tiptronic transmission, actually, but I invented these noise cancelling headphones!
You know what grinds my gears?
When I'm low on transmission fluid.
The new French tanks have 14 gears
13 go in reverse and 1 goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
A mother cleaning her 12 year old's bedroom
A mum is cleaning her 12year old son's bedroom and finds a load of b**... gears and f**... magazines.
She asks her husband, "What do I do?"
He says, "I'm not sure, but whatever you do, don't s**... him!"
I don't know what to say about bots in MMORPGs...
but I can ensure you that they grind my gears.
Two bricks of salt visit a meat factory...
And while they are looking down at one of the bone grinders, one of the salt brick accidentally falls down into the machine. The other salt brick watches in panic as his friend gets s**... into the blades and gears. After a while, the salt brick comes out from the other side of the grinding machine, all ground into pieces and powder.
"Oh my god! Are you okay Jimmy?" The salt brick on the top asks.
"Oh yeah I'm fine."
Italian Army tanks have five gears
Four reverse, one forward (in case they get attacked from the rear)
Trump's new EPA chief just released a slight tweak to the EPA mission statement
The EPA is now switching gears from protecting the environment to protecting us from the environment.
Why couldn't the old bike stay upright?
It was *two-tired.*
An oldy, but a goody, I hope you can *handle* it.
Changing *gears*, I *spoke* at a fancy unicycle conference and you know what's different there? *Attire.*
I'm just *pedaling* for upvotes.
"Having my owner carjacked was bad enough." said one car to the other. "But you know what really grinds my gears?"
The idiot didn't know how to drive a manual transmission!
Have you heard of the new Italian tanks?
I hear they have 2 gears forward and 3 backward
The new french tank has 14 gears
Thirteen go backwards, one goes forwards in case the enemy attacks from behind
Did you hear about the wooden car with wooden tyres, wooden gears and a wooden steering wheel?
It wooden go
Did you know French tanks have 7 gears?
One forward and 6 reverse!
Do you know what really grinds my gears?
When my maintenance guys fail to inspect them for the proper mesh and clearance.
French tanks have 5 gears. 4 for reverse and 1 for forward. But the most important is the forward one.
Enemy can attack behind anytime.
Biking over potholes s**...
it really grinds my gears
The French recently invented a tank with 13 separate gears, but only 1 of which drives the tank forward.
Just in case the enemy attacks from behind.
A priest gives a young nun a lift home from church one day..
As he's shifting gears, he rests his hand on the nun's knee.
The young nun looks up at the priest and says, Father, remember Luke 14:10.
The priest withdraws his hand embarrassed.
Next time they stop at a light, he places his hand a little higher up on her thigh, again the nun says, Remember Luke 14:10, Father.
The priest apologizes, The flesh is weak.
So he drops her off, and when he gets home, he reaches for his bible and flips to Luke 14:10.
Friend, come up higher, then shalt thou have glory!
A guy buys a new ferrari
he takes it out to drive, and the next day comes back to the dealership with a broken gearbox
the dealer says that the insurance covers it so they get it fixed and he goes back out
the next day the gearbox breaks again, and the dealer once again says no problem and gets it fixed. the guy goes back out once again.
on the third day, the guy manages to break it again. the dealer, understandably upset, asks him what he did.
the guy says 'well I was changing up gears from 1st, to 2nd etc till I got to 6th, then changed to rocket mode and there was a loud bang?'
You know what really grinds my gears?
Not depressing the clutch fully before trying to switch gears.
A lot of people don't know how to drive stick shift these days
They keep making mistakes while shifting, it really grinds some gears
A blonde called her car customer service saying she could only drive her car during the day. During the night, it didn't move at all.
A mechanic comes and after an inspection couldnt find anything wrong.
"You sure you put the right fuel?"
"Yup. Petrol"
Eventually, he asks her if shes using the right gears.
She says, "Of course, I'm not s**.... I'm using D during the day and N during the night"
