The Best 71 Gear Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Gear jokes. There are some gear windshields jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gear starter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Gear Jokes and Puns

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.

"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.

"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

An Australian on safari...

An Aussie is tramping through a jungle with his hunting gear. He comes into a clearing and finds a stunningly beautiful naked women sprawled out across a bed of leaves.
"My god," he says. "Are you game?"
She smiles invitingly, "Yes I am."
So he shoots her.

Gear joke, An Australian on safari...

My favorite golf joke

Two guys are out golfing and a big thunderstorm rolls in. The first guy packs up his gear and starts running for the clubhouse when he sees his buddy take his 1-iron out of his bag and hold it above his head while casually walking in.

First guy says, "What are you doing?! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Don't you see all the lightning?"

"Don't worry," says the second guy, "even God can't hit a 1-iron."

Deer Season

Seven guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Kevin's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Kevin's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?

Two days later the six get to the camping site only to find Kevin sitting there with his gear set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the stove.

"Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk Melissa into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair at home and Melissa came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'guess who?' I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So, here I am.


A Swiss car maker is coming out with a new car that has only one gear...

That gear is neutral.

Jeremy Clarkson decided not to stay with Top Gear, but James May

Gear joke, Jeremy Clarkson decided not to stay with Top Gear, but James May

What's the difference between the NRA and ISIS?

One of them is a mob of crazed, gun-toting psychotics roving around in surplus American military gear, and the other is the NRA.

Where does the Emperor keep all his past dead Sith's gear for display?

The Sithsonian.

Construction worker not wearing his safety gear [NSFW]

I don't like gears on a car, and I hate using them.

They've just always looked shifty to me.

You can explore gear gearbox reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gear caves dad jokes. There are also gear puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


They call me Metal Gear

Because my snake is solid

French tanks have 6 gears for going backwards and only 1 gear for going forward

In case they get attacked from behind

Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"

Defendent: "Gucci Sweats and Sum Jordan's"

The difference between being naughty and being kinky

Is whether you by your gear at an adult shop or home depot

A busdriver and a pastor have a conversation...

The pastor complains: "Every time i start preaching, people stop praying and fall asleep."

The busdriver replies: "For me it's the other way around. When i shift into 5th gear and hit the pedal, they wake up and start praying."

Gear joke, A busdriver and a pastor have a conversation...

Four Engineers get into a car.

The car won't start.

The mechanical engineer says: "There must be a problem with the gear box."

The electrical engineer says: "It must have a broken starter."

The chemical engineer says: "There must be something wrong with the fuel"

The IT engineer says: "Hey, let's all get out of the car and get back in."

I saved 15% on car insurance by switching....

The gear to reverse and pulling away from the accident

What's the worst gear for America?

Cruz control.


What's the most powerful part of a french tank

Reverse gear

Matt LeBlanc was just announced as the newest presenter on BBC's Top Gear

It may be a challenge for him, on his last show it's like he was always stuck in second gear

What do Whitney Houston and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on Top Gear.

Here in Britain, we've got May & Hammond in the Government now -

All we need is Clarkson and we've got Top Gear back again.

Where do emos get their gaming gear?

Razer.

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

The reverse gear on our car stopped working, so my wife and I took it to a garage.

Moving forward we should be fine.

What was Jeremy Clarkson on during Top Gear?

SPEEEED!

Pulleys are the rednecks of the gear world

No teeth

Guy hears his grand kids are coming for the first time. He gets all the parts and gear, spent six hours child-proofing his home.

They still got in.

A Mother is cleaning her kids room...

She finds a bunch of BDSM gear and fetish mags. She shows her husband

Mom: What do we do?

Dad: I'm not sure, but whatever you do you better not spank him!!

You know what grinds a Germans gear?

Nothing, they are too well engineered.

A mechanical engineers wife comes out of delivery. She texts him

She texts him : "your new vehicle has been launched".

He replies : " is it with gear stick or automatic?"

what does a hornet an rain gear have in common?

Yellow jacket

Decided to complete my next few marathons dressed in bondage gear

It'll be a running gag

Bought a Russian car...

The salesman said it was the krem de la kremlin, but every time it's putin gear, it keeps stalin. My wife said, "Crimea river, I'm not lenin you my car!"

How many gears does a french tank have?

6, 1 forward and 5 reverse.

How many gears does an Italian tank have?

Four, one to go forward and three for reverse.

DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT

Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.

Since then, the steaks have never been higher.

You know, camping gear for sea mammals is really versatile.

It works for all in tents and porpoises.

There's a company that recycles old or abandoned camping gear left behind at festivals and gives them to charities and the homeless....

They're called "Past Tents, Present Tents and Future Tents".

What is the difference between a manual-transmission car and an italian tank?

One has 6 gears and 1 reverse gear, the other has 6 reverse gears and 1 forward gear

How many gears does a french tank have?

One, The reverse gear.

A scientist conducted a research on smartphone protection gear.

It was an interesting case study.

What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat minor.

What do you get if you drop a piano on a beehive?

B flat.

What do you get if you drop a piano on a Morris Marina?

An episode of Top Gear.

When I bought a fixed gear bike last summer, people called me a hipster.

Commuting to work today in the snow, I finally understood why. I only liked riding my bike before it was cool.

BMW and Mercedes used to make scuba gear...

...but eventually BMW was forced to shut down. People kept getting the Benz.

The best gear to wear for playing hide and seek is a leather poncho with Sketchers.

You'd literally be wearing hide and sneakers.

I went fishing the other day

After setting all my gear up, I realised I had left my tackle box at home. I found some liquorice in my pocket and thought I'd try it for my bait, I caught all sorts

You know Metal Gear Solid?

It's no wonder The Patriots were never identified...

They were really good at La-Li-Laying-Low.

After being recommended by my boss, I've started taking an active interest in steroids.

He said I need to get into gear.

What did Gears of War 3 say when it was getting mugged?

AAA

In high school they called me Mr. Oblivious. So when I noticed the new kid with his fancy gear walk in I called him "Mr.Big Shot".

That compliment spared me from the school shooting

What is a homosexual's favorite Metal Gear Solid game?

Snake Eater.

Matt LeBlanc got fired from top gear

Matt LeBlanc got fired from top gear because he was always stuck in second gear.

I just bought an expensive car, and found out the reverse gear was broken right after I drove out.

There's no going back now.

Why would Konami Sue Hideo Kojima over getting an erection?

You would have to consider Kojima Metal Gear Solid .

I just bought my very first car, only to find the reverse gear broken.

Well, there's no going back now.

I feel uncomfortable watching a band pack up their gear after a show.

It's disconcerting.

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day.

Teach a man to fish and he's going to spend a fortune on gear he'll only be using twice a year.

What do you call a black kneecap protection?

A knee gear

Only a fisherman will understand the struggle

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day.

Teach a man to fish and he's going to spend a fortune on gear he'll only be using twice a year.

My parents found bondage gear that i've been hiding in my room

I bought bondage gear from my local sex shop and hid it under my bed.

My parents were furious when they found out and I was yelled at and spanked.

So i started leaving it out in the open.

Darth Vader built an entire Galactic Empire...

Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.

But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.

When does a bad apple become rotten?

When it dons full riot gear and covers up its badge number.

R stands for Racing

that's exactly what I thought too before shifting the gear on my car to R at 120 mph

I was driving my wife to work this morning when she suddenly pushed my hand from the gear lever

"What are you doing?" I asked
"Well," she said, "I've kept quiet for too long and I'm sick of you not concentrating on your driving - you do the steering and I'll stir the petrol."

The first time Chewbacca tried to fly a ship, he pulled gear lever instead of break lever.

A Wookie mistake.

Give a Man a Fish and You Will Feed Him for a Day.

Teach a man to fish and he will spend a fortune on gear he will only use twice a year.

Where do pirates get their camping gear?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRR E AYYYYYYYYYYE

If a tree falls.....

A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.

Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"

Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gear newfoundland jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gear sail piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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