gays Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious gays stories

What are the best Gays puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Gays? Well here is a complete list of Gays dad jokes:

Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the gays, make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....

Like he's a Muslim or something.

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Gays in the military

"If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon"

— Adam Hills

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I hope the gays go to hell....

I don't have anything against homosexuals. I just know they're great at gentrifying neighborhoods. By the time I get to Hell, there will be a boutique and cafe on every block!

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Why don't gays like to play hide-and-seek?

Because everyone knows they're in the closet

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Gays are fucking assholes.

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How do you know Jesus is okay with gays?

Because he had two dads

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Somewhere, there is a turf war going on...

...between skeletons and secret gays.

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A man walks into a public bathroom...

...as he stands at the urinal he notices written on the wall in front of him "BEWARE GAYS" ignoring it he then goes to wash his hands when above the hand dryers he sees it written again "BEWARE GAYS" as he turns to leave he sees something written on the floor in small lettering and bends over to read it... "we warned you twice"

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How do five gays walk on a road

In one direction

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What do gays and melons have in common?

cantaloupe...

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How do you fit 4 gays on one barstool?

Flip it over!

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Who wins in a race to San Francisco, the lesbian couple or the gay couple?

The lesbians. They get there lickity split while the gays are still packin it in!

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Why were gays the first out of San Fransisco when the earthquake hit?

They already had their shit packed.

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Do you hear about the 2 Irish gays?

Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael.

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Why are there no gays in a mental asylum?

Because they can't wear a strait-jacket.

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What do Russians and gays have in common?

They both like bears.

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Some people fear gay marriage will ruin the fabric of American society.

But no worries! The gays will just put a towel down first.

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Definition of "faggot"

Gay guy: Well, 'fagot' used to really just mean a bundle of sticks. When they burned witches, they would also burn gay people. So, people now call gays, "faggots."

Friend: ....So you're saying gays are an alternative fuel source?


Louie

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Alan complained that that he met too many of the gays on holiday...

...so he returned home, along with his boyfriend.

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A lesbian couple and gay couple are racing for a cash prize. Who wins?

The lesbians, 'cause the gays are still packing and the lesbians are lickity split.

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Gays do have the same rights as heteros.

Heteros can't marry people of their own sex as well.

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How did Freddie Mercury do in school?

He got straight "gays"

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Angel Kisses

"My mom always says that birthmarks are from angels kissing you, I've got quite a few of them."

"Oh that's because all the angels loved you, honey."

"This prompted me to ask the question, "Mom, are there any gay angels?""

"No of course not! You know God hates gays"

"Then why the hell do I have a birthmark on my butthole?"

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what is a gays least favorite fruit?

cantaloupe

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Why dont men like...nsfw

Why don't men like...
Prison?
Butt rape.
Aliens?
Anal probes.
Doctors?
Prostate exams.
Gays?
Well I think you see where I'm going here.

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Theme park for gays

Elton John, an Atlanta resident, is investing in a theme park catering to the gay community. Will be called "Sick Fags Over Georgia".

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The darkest clouds makes the most vivid rainbows

And black guys are the best gays

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There was a race between a group of gays and a group of lesbians. Who do you think got there first?

The lesbians, because they got there lickety-split while the gays were still packing their shit.

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Why I don't like gays staring at me

Their gaze!

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3 gays in a hot tub

A bubble of semen rises up, one looks at the others and says "OK who's farted?"

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Why'd the chicken cross the road?

To get to the gays guys house.

Part 2: knock knock
Who's there?
The chicken

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How do you fit four gays on one stool?

Flip it upside-down.

(sorry in advance)

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So there's a hot tub full gays...

A condom floats to the surface and one of them says:
"Alright, who farted?"

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Politicians and gays

Politicians who say "I smoked a joint but didn't inhale" is like saying, "I'm not gay. When I sucked those cocks, I didn't swallow."

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I need gay jokes.

Wednesday I am going to chick-fil-a. The gays will be protesting outside and I need jokes.

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What do Rabbis do with the Foreskins after a circumcision?...

Sell them to the gays as bubble gum

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What is it called when you throw a bunch of gays at someone?

A fag grenade.

I'm sorry

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Did you see the homophobic clown at Wal-mart?

yeah, I didnt think so. He is afraid of Gays.

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Do gays refer to underwear as "manhole covers?"

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Lesbian couple & gay couple

Q: so a lesbian couple and a gay couple are headed to the airport for their respective flights. which couple makes it there first?

A: the lesbian couple; they made it to the airport lickity-split, while the gays were stuck at home packing their shit!

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Two gay people walk into a bar.

One gay person says "I am gay". The other says "I am also gay". Who was gayer? They were to battle it out by way of..... gay sex. Who will win? One is named tom and one is named John. Who will win the battle of the gays! This answer is simple, but you guys need to solve it. It is a good joke I promise.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1) How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the light buld and the other 9 to say "that should be me up there"
2) How many gays does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one but it takes a whole emergancy room to screw it back out again
3) How many English men does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, One to climb the British standard safety ladder while wearing a high vis jacket and hard hat while the other one carries out a whole risk assessmennt and cancels the operation as it is deemed unsafe.
4) How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ve are asking ze qvestions here!
5) How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? 250,000. One to change the lightbulb and 249,999 to debate whether it was politically correct.

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A survey was done on whether or not people thought homosexuals were born that way and why they thought so.

After looking at the results, the university split the into three groups.

Heterosexuals who thought that gays weren't born gay popularly said that God didn't intent for it, that there is no proof of a "gay gene" etc.

Heterosexuals did think so popularly said that it must be because there are gays in the animal kingdom.

Then all of the homosexuals said they think they were born that way. When asked why they all said, "because I tried to change."

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How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just you

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Why can't gays get auto insurance?

Because they're always rear-ending each other!

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Why are gays never really supressed?

Cuz they always stick it to the man!

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I wish these fundamentalists would stop blaming natural disasters on the gays.

Everybody knows Sandy happened because of the confluent evils of Wall Street and Jersey Shore.

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Hit the gays where it really hurts

make them get married.

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Joke about gays

Umm...Oh I remember now, so it goes like this, no nevermind. I was going to tell you a joke about gays but I just couldn't get it straight

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What kind of glue do gays use?

SUPER GLUE!

or glitter glue would also be an acceptable answer

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best gays jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about gays. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty gays gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

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