Gays Jokes
94 gays jokes and hilarious gays puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gays that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Gays Short Jokes
Short gays jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gays humour may include short lesbian gay jokes also.
- Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay." Mom: *Stares at Dad*
Dad: *Clenches fist*
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: *Sweats Profusely*
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"
- A child asks his father what "gay" means The father says it means happy to his son, to which the son replies "Dad are you gay?" The father laughs and says "no son I have a wife".
- What does gay mean? asked a son to his father.
"It means 'happy,'" the father answered.
"Oh," replied the son, "so are you gay, then?"
"No, son, I have a wife." - Two deer walk out of a gay bar One turns and says to the other, "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks in there."
- My mother and father found each other in a gay bar of all places.... 24 years in to their marriage unfortunately
- My friends say there is a gay guy in our circle of friends I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.
- Two deer walk out of a gay bar One looks at the other and says, man, I blew like, twenty bucks in there!
- A boy asks his father Dad, what does 'gay' mean? Father: It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife. - Gay parents are awesome! * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard" - I met two guys wearing matching clothing. So I asked them if they were gay. They promptly arrested me
Share These Gays Jokes With Friends
Gays One Liners
Which gays one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gays? I can suggest the ones about homosexuality and bisexual.
- I refused to believe I was gay and dyslexic..... I was in Daniel.
- I saw 2 men in matching outfits I asked them if they were gay They arrested me
- I saw 2 guys wearing matching outfits and asked if they were gay. They arrested me.
- They said that my dad was gay. Now I am trying to figure out which one.
- Did you hear about the gay french baker? Faguette
- How do you confuse a gay person? Seven
- What does a gay rooster say? "Anycockledoooooo!"
- What do you call a line at the gay bar? An LGBT queue.
- My friend recently found out that he is both gay and dyslexic... He is still in Daniel...
- What do you call two gay irish men? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick
- MOM! I'm being called gay in school. Who is calling you that son?
A bunch of cute boys. - I couldn't accept that I was both gay and dyslexic I was in Daniel
- A bar goes into a guy It was a gay bar.
- How can you tell if an astronaut is gay? You can't. There's no orientation in space.
- Are these gay cows, daddy? No, they're bison.
Giggle-Inducing Gays Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about gays you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean straight people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gays pranks.
Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the g**..., make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....
Like he's a Muslim or something.
What do g**... and melons have in common?
cantaloupe...
Alan complained that that he met too many of the g**... on holiday...
...so he returned home, along with his boyfriend.
g**... do have the same rights as heteros.
Heteros can't marry people of their own s**... as well.
Somewhere, there is a turf war going on...
...between skeletons and secret g**....
How do you fit 4 g**... on one barstool?
Flip it over!
Why are there no g**... in a mental asylum?
Because they can't wear a strait-jacket.
Ever wondered why is being gay a sin?
It's simple. We all know 69 as a s**... position. Satan's own number is 6**.... Now think about g**..., and 6**... as a s**... position.
Why don't g**... like to play hide-and-seek?
Because everyone knows they're in the closet
g**... in the military
If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon.
How do five g**... walk on a road
In one direction
A man walks into a public bathroom...
...as he stands at the u**... he notices written on the wall in front of him "BEWARE g**..." ignoring it he then goes to wash his hands when above the hand dryers he sees it written again "BEWARE g**..." as he turns to leave he sees something written on the floor in small lettering and bends over to read it... "we warned you twice"
How do you fit four g**... on one stool?
Flip it upside-down.
(sorry in advance)
A lesbian couple and gay couple are racing for a cash prize. Who wins?
The l**..., 'cause the g**... are still packing and the l**... are lickity split.
How do you know Jesus is okay with g**...?
Because he had two dads
What do Russians and g**... have in common?
They both like bears.
Who wins in a race to San Francisco, the lesbian couple or the gay couple?
The l**.... They get there lickity split while the g**... are still packin it in!
Some people fear gay marriage will ruin the fabric of American society.
But no worries! The g**... will just put a towel down first.
Gameshow idea
11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn't gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until 2 are left or the straight man is out. If the g**... manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the last 2 people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million dollars.
Now here's the twist: None of the men are actually gay, they just think they are the one straight man.
What is the official fruit of g**... in Texas?
Canteloupe
What do you call it when two g**... fight?
Fruit punch!
I'm Glad g**... can get married now...
Now they can be miserable like the rest of us.
Four out of Five Baptist Divorcees Believe...........
g**... are ruining the sanctity of marriage!
The Republicans told us that if we let the g**... marry, soon people'd be marring horses!
I'm still waiting. :(
Intentionally or not, g**... are the only people fighting overpopulation and it's time for everyone else to join the fight. But first...
Packing
Do g**... really have a lot of s**t to pack before moving?
How many g**... does it take to put in a lightbulb?
How many g**... does it take to put in a lightbulb?
Only one, but it takes a whole emergency room to remove it.
They say g**... destroy the very fabric of society.....
Nonsense! No gay man would ever dream of destroying fabric.
What is a g**... favorite sandwich
A lgblt.
My dad told me that everyone deserves the right to get married.
Accept the g**....
Why were all the g**... winning poker in the 40's?
Because they had to keep a straight face
A protestor shouted, "Trump will make America worse for g**..., Jews, b**..., Muslims, and Latinos!" A Trump supporter shouted back, "That's not true..."
"...he won't make it worse for Jews!"
ALL THE g**... ON AN ISLAND
My brother hates gay people -- hates us. 'We should take all you g**... and stick you on an island.' 'Well they have, Frank. We call it Manhattan.'
How many g**... does it take to change a light bulb?
The light bulb shouldn't need to change in order for society to accept it.
What did the gaysian give his buddy?
A bro-job.
They say half of all g**... were born that way...
...the other half were just s**... into it somehow.
Why don't g**... sink?
They're flamboyant...
How do g**... refer to hemorrhoids ?
Speed bumps
The best soccer team in the world
We will put g**... as defenders, since they pressure well from the back.
Arabs, Chinese and Caucasians in mid because they bring color to the field.
Jews will be attackers because it's frowned upon to chase them.
And a 50 year old nun as our goalkeeper.
Because she hasn't let anyone in for three decades straight.
A young muslim in saudi arabia is wondering if he is allowed to some m**.... So, he visits his local mosque and asks his Imam if it's permissible, so the Imam told him:
No. In our country, only g**... get s**....
g**... should be s**...
I hear it makes the s**... so much better
Why is m**... i**... in Saudi Arabia?
In Saudi Arabia, only g**... get s**....
Do you know what's the difference between g**... and fridges?
Fridge doesn't f**... when you take out the w**...
Can you smoke w**... in Saudi Arabia?
No, in Saudi Arabia only g**... get s**....
Why do g**... make bad decisions?
Because they're never thinking straight.
How many g**... can you put on a barstool?
Four, if you put it upside down.
Credit to my gay friend Wheezie.
What with gay marriage and w**... being legalized, the bible is proven to be right
g**... should be s**...
If g**... come out of the closet, where do l**... come from?
The liquor cabinet
Why did the gay man want to go to Iran?
He heard all the g**... were hung .
Why do g**... have a great sense of clothing?
They spend some time inside the closest! Bah dum tsssss
I feel sorry for homeless g**...
They haven't got a closet to come out of.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
g**... and l**... are nationalists and transgenders are immigrants.
What do dyslexic g**... love?
Alan
What do you call a s**... club for g**...?
Communal showers.
My mom asked me what g**... think about.
I thought long and hard...
I saw two guys wearing matching outfit and asked if they were g**...!
They arrested me.
\(Sorry this is not mine but I heard it a while ago\).
What would you have if the LGBT community kicked out all the g**...?
A pretty good sandwich
A man calls his local Chick-fil-A and asks: "Do you serve g**...?" The employee responds "No sir..."
"We serve chicken."
What's long and full of g**...?
The s**... offender registry
So normal g**... come out of the closet,
But does a gay dwarf come out the cabinet?
Why are g**... bad at driving?
Because they can never look straight on the road
Daughter: What does g**... mean?
Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other - two men can love each other the same way
Her: So what's 'penetrating g**...'?
Me: Er... read me the whole sentence
Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze"
Me: Oh
Why do Christians hate g**.....?
Cos the last time a dude got nailed..
What do German men and g**... have in common?
They all love shoving sausage down their throats.
My brother recently came out of the closet.
I had been raised side by side with this man for my entire life. The whole experience has really opened up my eyes and made me reevaluate my views on homosexuality. Maybe I DO hate the g**......
Why couldn't the gay sailor get on with the world famous explorer?
Because it's the Straights of Magellan , not the g**... of Magellan
How many homosexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Stop thinking of all of those g**... in a dark room!
Why are there so few Jewish g**...?
It must be something to do with being camp.
I feel the same way about spiders and g**...
I have no issue with you and think you're cool so long as you don't crawl onto me in my sleep
Why are g**... always smiling?
Because they can't keep a *straight* face.
Wanna hear a self deprecating joke?
I think g**... are s**....
Why are there no g**... in Narnia?
Because they all live in a closet
Why don't you ever see many fat g**...?
Because they're too big to fit in the closet.
Kid: Dad ,what is g**...?
Dad: g**... are men who love other men
Kid: What is penetrating g**...?
Dad: Umm.. May I see what you're reading?
Dad: Ohh you meant penetrating gaze!
Why are religious g**... always well dressed?
because they spent years in the closet
What do you call a group of g**... waiting in a line?
An LGBTQueue.
I think g**... are pretty much all smart people.
They're a h**... genius group.
Daughter: What does g**... mean?
**Daughter:** What does g**... mean?
**Me:** Well, you know - mum and dad love each other. Two men can love each other the same way.
**Her:** So what's '*penetrating g**...'*?
**Me:** Er... Read me the whole sentence.
**Her:** *"She stared at him with a penetrating gaze."*
**Me:** Oh!
Not everything I do is for the male gaze…
Sometimes it's for the female g**....
