Gays Jokes

Following is our collection of liberals humor and lgbtq one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Gays puns for adults, dirty rolaids jokes or clean brokeback gags for kids.

There is an abundance of homophobia jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 62 funniest jokes on gays. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any lesbian witze you can hear about gays.

The Best jokes about Gays

Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the gays, make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....

Like he's a Muslim or something.

Daughter: What does gays mean?

Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other - two men can love each other the same way

Her: So what's 'penetrating gays'?

Me: Er... read me the whole sentence

Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze"

Me: Oh

Gays in the military

"If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon"

β€” Adam Hills

How many gays does it take to put in a lightbulb?

How many gays does it take to put in a lightbulb?

Only one, but it takes a whole emergency room to remove it.

Why did the gay man want to go to Iran?

He heard all the gays were hung .


If gays come out of the closet, where do lesbians come from?

The liquor cabinet

How many gays can you put on a barstool?

Four, if you put it upside down.

Credit to my gay friend Wheezie.

Why don't gays like to play hide-and-seek?

Because everyone knows they're in the closet

How do you know Jesus is okay with gays?

Because he had two dads

Why is marijuana illegal in Saudi Arabia?

In Saudi Arabia, only gays get stoned.

A man calls his local Chick-fil-A and asks: "Do you serve gays?" The employee responds "No sir..."

"We serve chicken."


My mom asked me what gays think about.

I thought long and hard...

Somewhere, there is a turf war going on...

...between skeletons and secret gays.

Why are gays always smiling?

Because they can't keep a *straight* face.

What is the official fruit of gays in Texas?

Canteloupe

A young muslim in saudi arabia is wondering if he is allowed to some marijuana. So, he visits his local mosque and asks his Imam if it's permissible, so the Imam told him:

No. In our country, only gays get stoned.

What do dyslexic gays love?

Alan

How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1) How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the light buld and the other 9 to say "that should be me up there"
2) How many gays does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one but it takes a whole emergancy room to screw it back out again
3) How many English men does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, One to climb the British standard safety ladder while wearing a high vis jacket and hard hat while the other one carries out a whole risk assessmennt and cancels the operation as it is deemed unsafe.
4) How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ve are asking ze qvestions here!
5) How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? 250,000. One to change the lightbulb and 249,999 to debate whether it was politically correct.

Why are religious gays always well dressed?

because they spent years in the closet


Why do gays have a great sense of clothing?

They spend some time inside the closest! Bah dum tsssss

Gameshow idea

11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn't gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until 2 are left or the straight man is out. If the gays manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the last 2 people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million dollars.

Now here's the twist: None of the men are actually gay, they just think they are the one straight man.

How do five gays walk on a road

In one direction

ALL THE GAYS ON AN ISLAND

My brother hates gay people -- hates us. 'We should take all you gays and stick you on an island.' 'Well they have, Frank. We call it Manhattan.'

A man walks into a public bathroom...

...as he stands at the urinal he notices written on the wall in front of him "BEWARE GAYS" ignoring it he then goes to wash his hands when above the hand dryers he sees it written again "BEWARE GAYS" as he turns to leave he sees something written on the floor in small lettering and bends over to read it... "we warned you twice"

What do gays and melons have in common?

cantaloupe...

How do you fit 4 gays on one barstool?

Flip it over!

What is a gays favorite sandwich

A lgblt.

Can you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?

No, in Saudi Arabia only gays get stoned.

Who wins in a race to San Francisco, the lesbian couple or the gay couple?

The lesbians. They get there lickity split while the gays are still packin it in!

Why do gays make bad decisions?

Because they're never thinking straight.

The best soccer team in the world

We will put gays as defenders, since they pressure well from the back.

Arabs, Chinese and Caucasians in mid because they bring color to the field.

Jews will be attackers because it's frowned upon to chase them.

And a 50 year old nun as our goalkeeper.
Because she hasn't let anyone in for three decades straight.

My brother recently came out of the closet.

I had been raised side by side with this man for my entire life. The whole experience has really opened up my eyes and made me reevaluate my views on homosexuality. Maybe I DO hate the gays...

They say gays destroy the very fabric of society.....

Nonsense! No gay man would ever dream of destroying fabric.

Kid: Dad ,what is Gays?

Dad: Gays are men who love other men



Kid: What is penetrating Gays?



Dad: Umm.. May I see what you're reading?



Dad: Ohh you meant penetrating gaze!

Gays should be stoned

I hear it makes the sex so much better

I feel sorry for homeless gays

They haven't got a closet to come out of.

What would you have if the LGBT community kicked out all the gays?

A pretty good sandwich

They say half of all gays were born that way...

...the other half were just sucked into it somehow.

A protestor shouted, "Trump will make America worse for Gays, Jews, Blacks, Muslims, and Latinos!" A Trump supporter shouted back, "That's not true..."

"...he won't make it worse for Jews!"

Why are there no gays in a mental asylum?

Because they can't wear a strait-jacket.

How do you fit four gays on one stool?

Flip it upside-down.

(sorry in advance)

How many gays does it take to change a light bulb?

The light bulb shouldn't need to change in order for society to accept it.

What do you call it when two gays fight?

Fruit punch!

Why are there no gays in Narnia?

Because they all live in a closet

Do you know what's the difference between gays and fridges?

Fridge doesn't fart when you take out the weiner

Why don't gays sink?

They're flamboyant...

So normal gays come out of the closet,

But does a gay dwarf come out the cabinet?

Intentionally or not, gays are the only people fighting overpopulation and it's time for everyone else to join the fight. But first...

What do Russians and gays have in common?

They both like bears.

Why do Christians hate Gays..?

Cos the last time a dude got nailed..

My dad told me that everyone deserves the right to get married.

Accept the gays.

What do German men and Gays have in common?

They all love shoving sausage down their throats.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Gays and Lesbians are nationalists and transgenders are immigrants.

Why were all the gays winning poker in the 40's?

Because they had to keep a straight face

What's long and full of gays?

The sex offender registry

Wanna hear a self deprecating joke?

I think gays are stupid.

I'm Glad Gays can get married now...

Now they can be miserable like the rest of us.

I saw two guys wearing matching outfit and asked if they were gays!

They arrested me.

\(Sorry this is not mine but I heard it a while ago\).

[NSFW] Which sport is loved by lesbians and hated by gays?

Dodgeball.

What with gay marriage and weed being legalized, the bible is proven to be right

Gays should be stoned

Ever wondered why is being gay a sin?

It's simple. We all know 69 as a sex position. Satan's own number is 666. Now think about gays, and 666 as a sex position.

Packing

Do gays really have a lot of s**t to pack before moving?

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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