The Best 63 Gays Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Gays jokes. There are some gays lgbtq jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gays brokeback puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Gays Jokes and Puns

Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the gays, make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....

Like he's a Muslim or something.

What do gays and melons have in common?


Somewhere, there is a turf war going on...

...between skeletons and secret gays.

Gays joke, Somewhere, there is a turf war going on...

How do you fit 4 gays on one barstool?

Flip it over!

Why are there no gays in a mental asylum?

Because they can't wear a strait-jacket.

Why don't gays like to play hide-and-seek?

Because everyone knows they're in the closet

Gays in the military

If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon.

Gays joke, Gays in the military

How do five gays walk on a road

In one direction

A man walks into a public bathroom... he stands at the urinal he notices written on the wall in front of him "BEWARE GAYS" ignoring it he then goes to wash his hands when above the hand dryers he sees it written again "BEWARE GAYS" as he turns to leave he sees something written on the floor in small lettering and bends over to read it... "we warned you twice"

How do you fit four gays on one stool?

Flip it upside-down.

(sorry in advance)

How do you know Jesus is okay with gays?

Because he had two dads

You can explore gays liberals reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gays rolaids dad jokes. There are also gays puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do Russians and gays have in common?

They both like bears.

Who wins in a race to San Francisco, the lesbian couple or the gay couple?

The lesbians. They get there lickity split while the gays are still packin it in!

Gameshow idea

11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn't gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until 2 are left or the straight man is out. If the gays manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the last 2 people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million dollars.

Now here's the twist: None of the men are actually gay, they just think they are the one straight man.

What is the official fruit of gays in Texas?


What do you call it when two gays fight?

Fruit punch!

Gays joke, What do you call it when two gays fight?

I'm Glad Gays can get married now...

Now they can be miserable like the rest of us.

Four out of Five Baptist Divorcees Believe...........

Gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage!

Intentionally or not, gays are the only people fighting overpopulation and it's time for everyone else to join the fight. But first...

How many gays does it take to put in a lightbulb?

How many gays does it take to put in a lightbulb?

Only one, but it takes a whole emergency room to remove it.

They say gays destroy the very fabric of society.....

Nonsense! No gay man would ever dream of destroying fabric.

What is a gays favorite sandwich

A lgblt.

My dad told me that everyone deserves the right to get married.

Accept the gays.

Why were all the gays winning poker in the 40's?

Because they had to keep a straight face

A protestor shouted, "Trump will make America worse for Gays, Jews, Blacks, Muslims, and Latinos!" A Trump supporter shouted back, "That's not true..."

"...he won't make it worse for Jews!"


My brother hates gay people -- hates us. 'We should take all you gays and stick you on an island.' 'Well they have, Frank. We call it Manhattan.'

How many gays does it take to change a light bulb?

The light bulb shouldn't need to change in order for society to accept it.

They say half of all gays were born that way...

...the other half were just sucked into it somehow.

Why don't gays sink?

They're flamboyant...

The best soccer team in the world

We will put gays as defenders, since they pressure well from the back.

Arabs, Chinese and Caucasians in mid because they bring color to the field.

Jews will be attackers because it's frowned upon to chase them.

And a 50 year old nun as our goalkeeper.
Because she hasn't let anyone in for three decades straight.

A young muslim in saudi arabia is wondering if he is allowed to some marijuana. So, he visits his local mosque and asks his Imam if it's permissible, so the Imam told him:

No. In our country, only gays get stoned.

Gays should be stoned

I hear it makes the sex so much better

Why is marijuana illegal in Saudi Arabia?

In Saudi Arabia, only gays get stoned.

Do you know what's the difference between gays and fridges?

Fridge doesn't fart when you take out the weiner

Can you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?

No, in Saudi Arabia only gays get stoned.

Why do gays make bad decisions?

Because they're never thinking straight.

How many gays can you put on a barstool?

Four, if you put it upside down.

Credit to my gay friend Wheezie.

If gays come out of the closet, where do lesbians come from?

The liquor cabinet

Why did the gay man want to go to Iran?

He heard all the gays were hung .

Why do gays have a great sense of clothing?

They spend some time inside the closest! Bah dum tsssss

I feel sorry for homeless gays

They haven't got a closet to come out of.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Gays and Lesbians are nationalists and transgenders are immigrants.

What do dyslexic gays love?


[NSFW] Which sport is loved by lesbians and hated by gays?


My mom asked me what gays think about.

I thought long and hard...

I saw two guys wearing matching outfit and asked if they were gays!

They arrested me.

\(Sorry this is not mine but I heard it a while ago\).

What would you have if the LGBT community kicked out all the gays?

A pretty good sandwich

A man calls his local Chick-fil-A and asks: "Do you serve gays?" The employee responds "No sir..."

"We serve chicken."

What's long and full of gays?

The sex offender registry

So normal gays come out of the closet,

But does a gay dwarf come out the cabinet?

Daughter: What does gays mean?

Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other - two men can love each other the same way

Her: So what's 'penetrating gays'?

Me: Er... read me the whole sentence

Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze"

Me: Oh

Why do Christians hate Gays..?

Cos the last time a dude got nailed..

What do German men and Gays have in common?

They all love shoving sausage down their throats.

My brother recently came out of the closet.

I had been raised side by side with this man for my entire life. The whole experience has really opened up my eyes and made me reevaluate my views on homosexuality. Maybe I DO hate the gays...

Why are gays always smiling?

Because they can't keep a *straight* face.

Wanna hear a self deprecating joke?

I think gays are stupid.

Why are there no gays in Narnia?

Because they all live in a closet

Why don't you ever see many fat gays?

Because they're too big to fit in the closet.

Kid: Dad ,what is Gays?

Dad: Gays are men who love other men

Kid: What is penetrating Gays?

Dad: Umm.. May I see what you're reading?

Dad: Ohh you meant penetrating gaze!

Why are religious gays always well dressed?

because they spent years in the closet

What do you call a group of gays waiting in a line?

An LGBTQueue.

I think gays are pretty much all smart people.

They're a homo genius group.

Daughter: What does gays mean?

**Daughter:** What does gays mean?

**Me:** Well, you know - mum and dad love each other. Two men can love each other the same way.

**Her:** So what's '*penetrating gays'*?

**Me:** Er... Read me the whole sentence.

**Her:** *"She stared at him with a penetrating gaze."*

**Me:** Oh!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gays homophobia jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gays lesbian piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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