Gauge Jokes
19 gauge jokes and hilarious gauge puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gauge that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funny rain gauge jokes from around the world that measure the joy of people's laughter in metric incidents. Enjoy the wettest humour around!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Gauge Short Jokes
Short gauge jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gauge humour may include short caliber jokes also.
- My Wife decided to buy me a mood ring... ...to gauge my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood it turns blue and when I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark in her forehead. - Rock stars & earrings Rock stars are known for having multiple earrings or crazy piercings, but no one has topped Kurt Cobain, who went so far as to put a 12 gauge in his mouth.
- Fun fact: Gauge Theory is the instantaneous rate of change calculated off a pre established baseline. A 12 gauge is how Kurt Cobain died.
- What is statistically the most effective anti-depressant? A 12 gauge shell with 00 buckshot.
- What's the difference between a dead baby and squirrel? I didn't hit the squirrel with my 12 gauge.
Share These Gauge Jokes With Friends
Gauge One Liners
Which gauge one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gauge? I can suggest the ones about gears and measure.
- What's Patrick Stewart's favourite scale of train? N gauge
- Someone stole my tire gauge. I don't think I can take the pressure anymore.
- How do engineers measure the distance between Railway spikes? The Phineas Gauge
- What was Captain Picard's favorite kind of train? N-Gauge.
- How do you measure a feminists intelligence? Stick a pressure gauge in her ear
- Why couldn't the one-eyed scuba diver gauge how far he dove? He had no depth perception
- A zombie walks into a bar and asks for a shot. It was a 12 gauge.
Comical Gauge Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about gauge you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean diameter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gauge pranks.
Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten
As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.
"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher
'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior
"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages
BB stands up full of confidence
"A B C C C C C C C D E F..."
"Stop" the teacher interrupts "thats not right BB there is only one C"
BB looks at her as if she's an idiot
"WRONG" he retorts "THERE ARE *SEVEN C's*"
A cop pulls over a woman
The officer comes to the window of the car and asks the woman "Mam, do you have any weapons in the car?"
The woman replies "Well, I have a 12 gauge in the trunk, a smith and wesen in the glove compartment, a colt on my side, and a derenger strapped to my boot."
The officer says "My god woman, what are you afraid of?"
She says "Absolutely nothing."
I ran into a complete stranger at my mom's annual New Years party.
I had never seen him before, so I asked him how he knew my mom. He said he had met her earlier in the day. Apparently, my mom was worried that the overall environment of the party wouldn't be as cool as she had hoped for, so she hired a professional to gauge the room.
I was absolutely disgusted.
I had found my mom's v**... rater.
On a day full of infidelity, an American, French, and Japanese businessmen all returned from work early.
to discover their wives in bed with other men.
The American went straight for his 12 gauge shotgun.
The Frenchman began removing his own clothes.
And the Japanese man pulled out his business card and waited politely for his wife to finish and introduce him to the stranger.
