The Best 48 Gather Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Gather jokes. There are some gather tribesmen jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gather hut puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Gather Jokes and Puns

Where do unvaccinated kids gather?

The plague-ground

The chief of a tribe in Mexico dies.

His son is now the chief. Since he never learned the ways of his forefathers to predict winters, when he gets asked what should the tribe do, he just tells them to collect firewood. He then goes to the National Weather Station in Mexico and asks them how bad winter is going to be. They tell him; "It looks like it will be pretty bad". Shocked, he goes back to his tribe and tells them to gather more firewood. He goes back to the weather station and asks them again if winter will be bad. They answer, "It is going to be one of the worst winters in a decade." The Chief goes back to the village and tells them to gather more firewood. Then he goes for a third time to the weather station and asks them again, "will the winter be bad?" They respond, "It will be the worst winter in a century." The chief asks them, "How do you know winter will be bad?" They answer, "Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"

German spies

During the war, two German spies were sent to London to gather valuable intel. To immerse themselves in the local culture they walk into a local pub and walk up to the bar. The first German says to the barman in an impeccable English accent
"May I have two Martinis please?"
"Dry?" asked the barman.
The German replied, holding up two fingers.
"Nein! Zwei!"

Gather joke, German spies

I gathered a list of ten puns yesterday.

And i wanted to see if any were reasonable. So i put them all to the test to see if they would pass.

No pun-in-ten-did.

A new idea for a link to the _____ game

The Oceania of time link most go to the future and the past and gather all the incarnations of link (skyward sword toon link and twilight princess) to destroy Ganon once and for all


LPT: How to pick up girls

Try this:

1. Acquire several dozen limes.
1. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
1. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
1. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
1. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
1. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, "Sorry, I'm bad at Pickup Limes."

What do you get when you gather 10^12 puns about male cows?

You get one terabull pun.

Gather joke, What do you get when you gather 10^12 puns about male cows?

I've just been told that I'm supposed to gather cherries with the tail...

So, I'll stop eating cheeries. It's already annoying to gather them with my handsΒ !

What is a gathering of furries called?

A Purrrrrgatory.

Student logic

Professor offered to students to retake failed exam, but only with one condition. All students must gather at one time, so professor wouldn't waste his time. There was three students with failed exam.

At exam day three students gathered and dialog begins:
Student: Shouldn't be here four of us?
Professor: How is it four?
Student: I had posted on Facebook about this exam and four people liked it.

When three or four Natives gather together...

There's usually a fifth.

You can explore gather natives reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gather collect dad jokes. There are also gather puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The thing about statistics

The thing about statistics is, if you gather enough, you'll find a coincidence.

Caveman Diet

My wife put me on the cave man diet. She says that like our ancestors, we can only eat things you would gather or catch. After about six weeks of this, I've come to the conclusion, I can catch a pizza guy.

Let's sing a Unitarian's favorite hymn.

"We gather together to gather together . . ."

A town decided to form a clergy group to have Catholics, Jews, Protestants and Muslims gather to talk about various issues facing their places of worship.

The Rabbi went first and said they were having a terrible issue with squirrels. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for food. He said they were scaring their kids. The preacher said they were having the same issue, in fact, a few of the squirrels had actually gotten inside of the church and had done some damage to the roof. The Imam agreed saying that in fact one of the squirrels had bitten a few people at the mosque. The Priest then spoke up and said they used to have the same issue but had solved it. He said they took all of their squirrels, Baptized them, confirmed them, and now they only come around on Christmas and Easter.

A Dutch, English and Chinese man wash up on an island

A Dutch, English and Chinese man survive a boat accident and wash up on an island. They need food, water and supplies to survive the night.
The Dutch guys says that he will gather the food, the English man will get water and the Chinese man is send for supplies.

When the Dutch and the English man come back with food and water the Chinese man is nowhere to be found. They wait a bit till they can't wait longer and start preparing the food.

The Dutch and English guy start eating and out of nowhere the Chinese guy jumps out the bushes and shouts: " SUPPLIES ".

Gather joke, A Dutch, English and Chinese man wash up on an island

What do you get when famous authors gather on a boat to write together?

Penman-ship.

GATHER ROUND! Lets tell a story one word at a time.

Lets tell a story one word at a time beginning with:

THE

Hopefully this turns into a joke post or the most captivating story ever.

There was a boy with lung cancer...

One day a priest came to visit the boy in the hospital. The Priest sat on the boy's side to comfort him and pray. Soon, the boy was unable to breathe. Acting quickly the priest grabbed a pen and paper to gather the boy's last words. Days later at the funeral, the priest read the boys last words and it read " Dear Father Dave, you are on my oxygen tube."


It's very difficult to gather mushrooms in Chernobyl

they scramble in all directions when you walk up to them.

I was in class today and asked a friend if I could have a bite of her cookie...

She took the napkin it was on, folded it over to gather all the crumbs, counted out 8 crumbs, handed them over and said,

"no, but you can have 8 bits."

I hate it when a whole heap of people wearing cargo pants unexpectedly gather around me and get all excited.

It's like "Boo! Khaki party!"

When employing people, gather all the CVs together and randomly split them into two piles.

Take one pile and throw it in the bin. This stops you employing anyone unlucky.

A Farm Boy gets bullied for having a big head...

The son says, "Mom, all the kids at school say I have a big head. Its really upsetting."

The mother says, "Don't worry honey, your head isn't big at all. Now, go gather some potatoes."

"Mom, I don't have a bag for potatoes."

"Its okay son, just use your hat."

The CEO of a big company got abducted...

The abductors released a message through the PA system:

"Prepare ten million by noon or we burn him alive!"

The employees frantically decided to gather, and one proposed to pitch in together in order to help out.

Some pitched in five litres, some pitched in ten.

A pastor was giving a sermon on the evils of alcohol.

After endless anecdotes about its evils and dozens of bible passages regarding its sinfulness he concludes quite passionately that if it were up to him he'd dump all the town's booze into the river.

Following this display the organist leads the congregation in a hymn. They sang Shall we gather at the river?

There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...

...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert

As they're walking the come upon a convenience store. They go inside to gather supplies for the long journey home.

The brunette says "I'll grab plenty of water so we can have enough to drink."

The redhead says "I'll grab food so we have enough to eat."

The blonde says "I'll grab a car door in case it gets hot, we can roll down the windows!"

A group of people gather in the Caribbean just so they can discuss current events...

It's like they're on a Topical Island

How do you teach a bunch of kids about Godβ€”who He is, and what He does?

Gather them all in a classroom. Then never show up.

So I saw a German Shepard crapping on my lawn this morning....

I told him to gather his sheep and get the flock off my property.

I am starting a club for middle aged women to gather and find younger men to take home and make love to in front of their husbands.

I'll call it, the Coug Cucks Clan.

If I gather my material, wood you like to hear a joke?

I sure wood, but it's steel hard to come up with one.

People say there are free speech issues in North Korea and I disagree...

For instance: in America, you can walk right outside the White House, gather in the street, and say I don't like the way the government is running this country!

You can do that in North Korea too! In fact, you can walk down any street in Pyongyang, gather your friends, and yell I don't like the way the Americans are running their country!

A CEO and his board of directors gather for a meeting

CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.

BOD: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.

CEO: Yeah but we make hammers

I'm trying to get rid of my vacuum.

All it does is gather dust.

Where do virgin women gather

In lesbians bars

Why did the pimp call a meeting of his girls when he felt unsure about himself?

He had to gather his thots.

This pandemic has exposed how unrealistic the movie The Martian is.

Not because of the space travel to Mars, but there is no way the US government would spend so much money and gather the resources to save just one life.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have a huge falling out after Mick refuses to stop talking in broken Spanish

When asked for comment, Mick replied "The Rolling Stones gather no mas."

Only 20 people are allowed to gather for a funeral

....because the spirit has already left the body.

However 1000's allowed to gather near an alcohol shop because the spirit has to enter the body!

Want to follow social distancing guidelines but still meet with your friends and family?

Just gather in groups of three, as there will be 6 feet between all of you :)

I completely support people's choice to not wear masks and gather in large groups during a pandemic.

So would Darwin.

Due to COVID-19, The Seven Dwarfs have been restricted to gather in a group of no more than six.

One of them is not Happy.

You know, I think it's your turn to pick wild mushrooms. My girlfriend said.

So I gather.

a welsh man was asked if he would have sex with a sheep for 1000$

the welsh man said "sure but under three conditions."

first, the sheep shouldn't have any diseases obviously

secondly, I don't want anyone i know to hear about this

and finally, give me a week to gather the 1000 dollars for you

8:45 PM, Arrive at the crime scene

- 8:45 PM, Assess victim. Cause of death: strangulation, victim's phone and wallet are missing
- 8:45 PM, Gather evidence. No visible fingerprints, rope used to strangle the victim was found in a nearby trashcan
- 8:45 PM, Question witnesses. One witness states the murderer was driving away in a blue Ford Mondeo
- 8:45 PM, Realise watch is broken. Amazon estimates a 2-3 day wait for a new watch

Where do Soviet nerds gather?

At Commie-Con.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gather drippings jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gather townspeople piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes