gat Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious gat puns

I hope Elon Musk never gets involved in a scandal

Elongate would be really drawn out.

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Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall

On the condition he gets to install windows.


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A man in an interrogation room says I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.

Cop: You are the lawyer.

Lawyer: Exactly, so where's my present?

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Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of sexual assault

After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been fisting them for decades.

Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this abuse. Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.

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Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team-up and make a medicine to treat erectile dysfunction,

and name it ElonGates.

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When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

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A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room

He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present."

"You are the lawyer," says the policeman.

"Exactly, so where's my present?"

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What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.

​

Sincerely,

​

The Internet Provider

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I told my son, You will marry the girl I choose.


He said, NO!

I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter.

He said, OK.

I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.

Bill Gates said, NO.

I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.

Bill Gates said, OK.

I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.

He said, NO.

I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law.

He said, OK.

This is how politics works.

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Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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Did you hear about the math teacher who's afraid of negative numbers?

He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

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My drug test came back negative.

My drug dealer has some explaining to do.

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Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team up and make a medicine to cure erectile dysfunction

And name it "Elon-Gate"

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Alligators can live up to 100 years...

Which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.

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Some people don't believe the allegations that Louis CK whipped his dick out...

...others saw it coming.

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Sir, your son was smoking marijuana at school during the class!

Says the teacher to a student's parent at a school gathering.

-- Did he say where he got it?

-- Yes! His best friend gave it to him.


The father, cleaning his tears:

-- Did he really say that?

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Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten.

"1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

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I tried to submit a patent for a gold-plated butt plug, but Steve Jobs beat me to it.

It turns out, he was already making overpriced toys for assholes

[Obligatory

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Brett Kavanaugh has stated that he will not be pressured into withdrawing his Supreme Court bid by the allegations made against him.

He sounds like the kind of guy who just won't take 'no' for an answer.

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Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation.

I did and we do.

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2 Trump Supporters go to heaven

St. Peter greets them at the Pearly gates and asks if there is anything in the universe they'd like to know before meeting God. The fist guy asks, "What was really in Hillary's emails?"
"Nothing incriminating really", replies St. Peter.
The other guy turns and whispers, "Wow, this goes higher than we thought."

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A lone sniper was just about to assassinate Donald Trump.

Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him.
He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said "I meant to shout "Donald, duck"

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With all the negativity in the world today...

...at least Charlie Sheen is staying positive.

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A linguistics professor is lecturing his class

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

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10 Catholic priest all die in a bus accident

When they arrive at the pearly gates, St Peter Acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you a pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well fuck off straight to hell right now!".

9 of the priests turn around and begin to walk away.

St Peter calls after them. "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!"

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Hi. My name is Bill Gates and today, I will be teaching you how to count to ten:

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10



----

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What's big, black and loaded with aids?

A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.

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On a scale of Alligator to Gorilla....

How shitty of a parent are you?

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If you think your microwave spying on you is bad...

Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

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My gf is like the square root of negative one hundred

She's a perfect ten but imaginary

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LPT: How to pick up girls

Try this:

1. Acquire several dozen limes.
1. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
1. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
1. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
1. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
1. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, "Sorry, I'm bad at Pickup Limes."

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Bill Gates: "Why don't you tell me why Bing failed"

Bill gates: So why don't you tell me why Bing failed.

Board: We feel there was a public nescience towards Bing.

Bill gates: Nescience? Let me Goog- Oh I see what you mean.

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An alligator decided to have unprotected sex...

Now he has Gatorades.

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When counting down, I can't stand negative numbers

I stop at nothing to avoid them.

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So a man dies and goes to heaven...

When he got there, he approached St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asked "What, in your opinion, was your most noble deed?"

"Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing an old lady outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring."

Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?"

"Uh, about 5 minutes ago."

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What are the most funny Gat jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Gat? Well, here are the best Gat dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Gat pick up lines to share with friends.

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