Riceless
Gas prices.
walk onto a car lot. After much searching, they all find the car of their dreams. Perfect color, size, gas mileage, and price. They tell the salesman what they want, but he informs them that there is only one of these cars on the lot, and they have no idea when they will get another shipment.
The priest has an idea. "We will let God decide! Let us each bless the car, and God will then choose one of us and let us buy it!"
They all agree to this, so the priest starts saying a rosary and waving a cross over the car's hood. The holy roller starts babbling and splashing the windows with holy water. After about 10 minutes of this, the two men were confused; they hadn't seen the Rabbi since they started...
he was behind the car, cutting two inches off the tailpipe.
He expected to pay the price, but when that final gas bill came in, he said fuck this.
It just makes cents.
Carbon Mongoxide
A big shot rich guy died and went to the pearly gates, St Peter told him he was going to hell for greed.
The guy is like, " Evey one has it his price how much to get in?"
St Peter replied, "Sorry, Pre-Pray only"
Sincerely, Gas Prices
ARRRR co!
What's a pirate's favorite restaurant?
ARRRR by's!
What's a pirate's favorite warehouse store?
Costco.
You can't beat those prices.
They slowly go down on you and tease you... then they rise up, fuck you hard, and take all of your money.
They fell as fast as Greece's GDP.
I only ever put twenty dollars in at a time.
He never fills for more than $30.
But we should really be thanking Kashoggi
Gas prices.
I'm so pumped!
Gas Prices
...the gas prices are a bit high.
Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what."
Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready."
Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave."
Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know."
Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you."
Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does."
Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry."
Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red."
Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going."
Her: "I'm really on my period."
Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
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