gas prices Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious gas prices puns

Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90. Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

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When I go down on you, it makes you very happy. And when I come back up I will fuck you good and hard. What am I?

Gas prices.

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A Rabbi, a priest, and a holy roller

walk onto a car lot. After much searching, they all find the car of their dreams. Perfect color, size, gas mileage, and price. They tell the salesman what they want, but he informs them that there is only one of these cars on the lot, and they have no idea when they will get another shipment.

The priest has an idea. "We will let God decide! Let us each bless the car, and God will then choose one of us and let us buy it!"

They all agree to this, so the priest starts saying a rosary and waving a cross over the car's hood. The holy roller starts babbling and splashing the windows with holy water. After about 10 minutes of this, the two men were confused; they hadn't seen the Rabbi since they started...

he was behind the car, cutting two inches off the tailpipe.

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When did Hitler decide it was time to Commit Suicide?

He expected to pay the price, but when that final gas bill came in, he said fuck this.

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Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

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What's Harvey Price's favourite gas?

Carbon Mongoxide

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This was told to me by a 10 year girl while waiting in line to pay for gas.

A big shot rich guy died and went to the pearly gates, St Peter told him he was going to hell for greed.

The guy is like, " Evey one has it his price how much to get in?"

St Peter replied, "Sorry, Pre-Pray only"

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I go down and make you happy and then I go up and fuck you over.

Sincerely, Gas Prices

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What's a pirate's favorite gas station?

ARRRR co!

What's a pirate's favorite restaurant?

ARRRR by's!

What's a pirate's favorite warehouse store?

Costco.

You can't beat those prices.

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What do gas prices and hookers have in common?

They slowly go down on you and tease you... then they rise up, fuck you hard, and take all of your money.

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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.

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Canada's Gas prices...

They fell as fast as Greece's GDP.

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I don't worry about the price of gas going up.

I only ever put twenty dollars in at a time.

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ISIS gas prices are the nicest!

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My friend is never affected by fluctuating gas prices.

He never fills for more than $30.

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Gas prices are getting lower every day. Everybody is saying we should thank Trump and the Saudi's

But we should really be thanking Kashoggi

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What's up?

Gas prices.

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Wow! I got gas before prices went up!

I'm so pumped!

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What's up?

Gas Prices

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I hear auswitz is a good place to live, but...

...the gas prices are a bit high.

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Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what."
Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready."
Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave."
Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know."
Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you."
Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does."
Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry."
Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red."
Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going."
Her: "I'm really on my period."
Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."

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What are the most funny Gas Prices jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Gas Prices? Well, here are the best Gas Prices dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Gas Prices pick up lines to share with friends.

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