Following is our collection of funny Gas jokes. There are some gas petroleum jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gas fart puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.
Riceless.
He said "inflation"
Getting home and realising they have forgotten one of your containers..
Riceless
My boss asked what companies?
Gas, water and electricity.
I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.
Now I have Gas Money!
*Told to me by my 9 year old daughter, who thought it's hilarious! (I agree lol)
Inflation
Holy smokes this blew up, THANK YOU all for the awards and the silver!!
A seasoned veteran
So the chicken could cross the road
An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up.
"Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!"
The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way.
Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up.
"Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!"
Doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing..."
Riceless
You can explore gas gaseous reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gas gasoline dad jokes. There are also gas puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A seasoned veteran.
He is now a seasoned veteran
It was an ether/oar situation.
I told him the gas, electric, and phone companies.
He asked me which companies and I told him, "The gas, electric, and cable ones"
Running out of gas!
She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, "Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!"
I responded, "Inflation."
Now I have gas money.
"Because its a gas planet son"
Tear gas!
(Written by my 9 yr old son)
Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives.
I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas
The mechanical engineer says: "lets check the carborator, it's probably the carborator"
The chemical engineer says: "its most likely the gas line, lets check that"
The electrical engineer says: "no, it has to be the car's circuts"
The computer scientist thinks for a minute and says: "lets all get out of the car and get back in"
He asked which 3 were interested. I said the gas, electric and cable.
I said, honey. A little gas never hurt anyone.
He was a seasoned veteran.
Realizing that you got all the way home without one of the containers: riceless
So I guess it was an ether/oar situation.
Solid, liquid and gas
Is it considered a noble gas?
Seeing his gas bill
He glared at me.
I said, "What? A little gas never killed anyone !"
It's not very good when you buy it from a gas station.
Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!" The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week." The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
A Ford Focus.
When I commented that this had been free for decades, the attendant just looked at me and said "that's inflation for you".
As she pulled the nozzle from her car, some splashed on her arm and a random spark ignited the gas. As her arm was burning, she called for help to have someone try to quell the flame before it grew too high. To her luck, a couple police officers walked out from inside the gas station and immediately walked over to her.
As she pleaded for help, they approached her and immediately arrested her for unlawfully waving a firearm.
A noble gas.
I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes and he gave me a 5 % raise.
Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, By the way, which companies are after you? I responded, The gas, electric and cable company.
So nice of her to save me the gas money.
When it all of a sudden blew up and sent him flying through his roof and up into the sky.
On his way up he passed a man falling down from the sky and asked him: Hey, you know anything about gas stoves?
The guy falling responded, Nope, you know anything about parachutes?
He saw his gas bill.
He was too hard on the gas
...I don't matter?
A blonde walked into a gas station and told the manager, "I locked my keys in my car and I was wondering if you had a coat hanger I could stick through the window and unlock the door."
"Why, sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially for that."
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing. He heard another voice. "No, no, a little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.
Sometimes you get full service, sometimes you have to ask for service, and sometimes you have to be happy with self service.
He asked, "How do I manage this delicate issue when people even at a party like this ask me about their joint pains and heartburn and gas trouble. Just because I am a doctor.... not fair!"
The CA friend replied coolly, "Just tell them the right things politely but send them a bill from your clinic the next morning... only once! Word will soon get around and it will stop immediately!"
"Wow! Thanks for the tip, said the doctor."
Next morning the doctor got a bill from his CA friend, "Consulting charges for Business Development."
It was an ether/oar situation.
Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: riceless
Who was smoking a cigarette at a gas station while she filled her car. She pulled out the nozzle and gas shot everywhere and her arm was immediately engulfed in flames. She starts waving it around and a cop saw it and shot her dead. She was waving an illegal fire arm.
He received his gas bill
Unfortunately it was from TacoBell
you have to sit at the back of the gas chamber.
He got offended but i said " c'mon a little gas never killed anybody"
I couldn't believe it was that cheap. Then again, I don't know what else I expected going to Taco Bell.
and tells him he's been having terrible gas, but his farts don't smell and they are always silent, so nobody seems to notice.
The Doctor prescribes him a pill and asks tells him to come back in a week.
The man returns a week later and the Doctor asks if there had been any change in his condition.
Yes! The man says. I still have terrible gas, but now my farts smell horrible!!
Great! Says the Doctor. Now that we have your sinuses cleared up, let's work on your hearing!
Now, they have cameras everywhere.
On the road, they run out of gas so the man pulls over. One of the bees says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further. It works, until they run out of gas again.
The second bee steps up and says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further. It works, until they run out of gas for the third time.
This time the squirrel chimes in and says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further.
But the man says, Don't bother, she only runs on BP.
They say that he's a seasoned veteran.
One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did hitler commit suicide?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."
I guess old habits die hard because he hooked up the gas line instead.
He received the gas bill.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gas gaz jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working gas emissions piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.