Gas Jokes

Funniest Gas Short Jokes

Short gas jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gas humour may include short oil jokes also.

1. Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50 Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.
   Riceless.
2. Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why. He said "inflation"
3. Chinese takeout $20.00.. Gas to pick it up $10.00.. Getting home and realising they have forgotten one of your containers..
   Riceless
4. I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise.... My boss asked what companies?
   Gas, water and electricity.
5. Do you remember when air was free at the gas station, and now it's $1.50? You know why? Inflation
   Holy smokes this blew up, THANK YOU all for the awards and the silver!!
6. President Biden has announced water is now only legal in three states. Solid, liquid and gas.
7. What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran
8. Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90. Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers: Riceless
9. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he? A seasoned veteran.
10. I asked my boss for a raise. He said what for?
    I told him 3 different companies are after me. He asked which ones?
    I said: Gas, Water, and electric.

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Gas One Liners

Which gas one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gas? I can suggest the ones about petrol and gaseous.

1. Yo mama so fat. . . I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.
2. Where can you still get gas for $1.39? Taco bell
3. Gas prices are so high... That even the coronavirus stopped traveling..
4. Why did Bill Barr gas protestors? So the chicken could cross the road
5. You think gas prices are expensive, have you seen chimney? They're through the roof.
6. What's a three letter word that starts with gas? Car
7. I knew a guy who survived mustard gas and pepper spray He is now a seasoned veteran
8. What has 3 letters and starts with gas? A car
9. I don't usually brag about going to expensive places But I just left the gas station.
10. What kind of running means walking? Running out of gas!
11. What do you call are car that's out of gas Exhausted
12. "Dad, why are there no jews on jupiter?" "Because its a gas planet son"
13. What happens when you eat beans with onions? tear gas!
    (Written by my 9 yr old son)
14. There are four states of matter. Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives.
15. I got gas today for $1.57 Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell…

Gas Station Jokes

Here is a list of funny gas station jokes and even better gas station puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Had to stop at the gas station to fill my tires… They raised the price to $1.50. I just can't believe the cost of inflation these days.
• In a couple weeks, all gas stations are going to cut prices in half for a whole day April Fuels!
• You know air used to be free at the gas station and now it's $1.50. You know why? Inflation
• My local gas station started charging money just to put air in your tires When I commented that this had been free for decades, the attendant just looked at me and said "that's inflation for you".
• When I was a kid, you could walk into a gas station with a $1 bill and leave with a bag of chips, a candy bar, and a coke. Now, they have cameras everywhere.
• I don't like to brag about the expensive trips I go on….. ….but I went to the gas station today.
• Remember the good old days when you can walk into a gas station with $1 and walk out with two bags of chips, beef jerky, and a drink? Nowadays, there's cameras everywhere.
• This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught fire... When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.
• If your girl complains that you never take her anywhere expensive Take her to the gas station.
• It's getting real bad here in California. I just got robbed at the gas station. I called the cops and they asked if I knew who did it. "It was pump #5," I replied.

Car Gas Jokes

Here is a list of funny car gas jokes and even better car gas puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange You'd think he was from mad-at-gas-car.
• My 8 year old daughter made this up today. Why did the car have a belly ache? Because it had gas.
• The guy next to me on pump 3 put $10 worth of gas in his car. Where's he going, pump 4?
• Ur mama is so fat I swerved to miss her and my car ran outta gas!!
• I was pretty surprised to learn Elon Musk was born in South Africa I thought he was born in Mad-at-gas-car
• Where were thr first gas cars invented? In Africa, they Madagascar.
• Gas prices are getting ridiculous I went online to check the value of my car and it asked if the tank was empty or full.
• Elon Musk was born in South Africa, and made an electric car. What if he had been born in Madagascar? He would have made a gas car
• A person walks into an auto shop and says I'd like a gas cap for my KIA.
  The car mechanic thinks for a few moments says, OK, that seems like a fair trade.
• I was surprised to find out that Elon Musk was born in South Africa I thought he was born in Mad-at-gas-car.

Gas Bill Jokes

Here is a list of funny gas bill jokes and even better gas bill puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Q: Why did hitter kill himself?
  A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
• Why was Germany in debt after WWII? The gas bill was too high.
• Why does Jewish pay less for the energy bill? Because they use the free gas
• Israel is bankrupt Germany sent them the gas bill.
• Went to my mates house and she had a big open fire in the garden where she was burning her phone bill, gas bill and credit card bill. I said: "flipping heck what are you doing Bernadette?!"
• Why are Jews hated? They didn't pay the gas bill
• Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills? They don't have windows.
• How do you make a German cry? Show them their gas bill
• What gave h**... a heart attack? Seeing his gas bill
• Why did h**... kill him self? He saw his gas bill.

Passing Gas Jokes

Here is a list of funny passing gas jokes and even better passing gas puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What is it called when too many people pass gas inside of a mine? An excess stench hole crisis.
• My dad taught me everything I know about passing gas. I've been under his tootelage my whole life.
• I once passed gas in an elevator, Which was wrong on so many levels.
• What do you call someone who doesn't pass gas in public? A private tooter (tutor)
• There was once an Egyptian Pharaoh rumored to have never passed gas... His name was Toot-Uncommon.
• What did the Egyptian say to his friend when they both passed gas at the same time? We just had a toot in common
• Why did the man driving stop at every gas station? Cause it's impolite to pass gas
• I'm an anesthesiologist. I get to pass gas for a living.
• When you pass gas loudly in a crowded room, everyone should applaud... That takes some guts.
• What name did they give the Egyptian pharaoh who rarely passed gas? Toot-uncommon

Oil And Gas Jokes

Here is a list of funny oil and gas jokes and even better oil and gas puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Telegram from Putin to Kolinda (president of Croatia) CONGRATULATIONS STOP GREAT GAME STOP YOU WERE BETTER STOP GAS STOP OIL STOP TOURISTS STOP INVESTMENTS STOP
• Why can most major oil companies only get drop-outs on executive positions? The ones that managed to graduated all went to gas prom.

Hilarious Fun Gas Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about gas you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean petroleum jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gas pranks.