Garden Of Eden Jokes
64 garden of eden jokes and hilarious garden of eden puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about garden of eden that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Garden Of Eden Short Jokes
Short garden of eden jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The garden of eden humour may include short garden jokes also.
- I'm tired of hearing men talk about how women make their lives more difficult. Just think about where men would be without women... Still in the Garden of Eden.
- Did you know the first baseball game was held in the Garden of Eden? Eve stole first, Adam stole second, and Abel struck out.
- How do you know God was a MOPAR man? It says in the Bible he drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a fury
- How do we know that God was a Mopar man? He drove Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden in his Fury.
- Don't be foolish, the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was obviously not an apple. It was an orange. Haven't you heard of oranginal sin?
- Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden Adam and Eve are in the garden of Eden, and Adam says to Eve, "Stand back! I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!"
- Did you hear the Garden of Eden was actually a pretty naughty place? After all, Adam was ribbed for her pleasure.
- In the Garden of Eden God: "Adam."
Adam: "Yes, God?"
God: "Where's Eve?"
Adam: "I think she's washing her p**... in the river."
God: "Oh no! Stop her! I'll never get the smell out of those fish!"
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Garden Of Eden One Liners
Which garden of eden one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with garden of eden? I can suggest the ones about flower garden and adam and eve.
- Where would man be without a woman? In the garden of Eden.
- In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore? A hole in it.
- When was the first computer made? The Garden of Eden...
Apple...
It had one byte. - What fruit caused Adam to leave the Garden of Eden? Man go.
- What does Jesus drive? Adam and Eve out of the Eden garden.
- In The Garden of Eden...
Garden Of Eden Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about garden of eden you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vegetable garden jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make garden of eden pranks.
[garden of eden]
**Snake:** Pssst! want an apple?
**Eve:** No thanks, I do not sin.
**Snake:** What's the length of the opposite side of a 30° right triangle with a hypotenuse of 20?
**Eve:** 10
**Snake:** Thanksss
**Adam:** How did you calculate that?
**Eve:** Oh no.
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Soviet Russian
are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit."
The Englishman replies with, "Clearly they're English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."
The Russian then notes, "They are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."
Adam's new wife
Adam had been in the garden of Eden for several years without someone to share his life with. One day, he asked God for a companion.
God said to him, "I can give you a wife that will be everything you could dream of. Humble and submissive, she will make your life nothing but pleasurable. However, to make her I'll need an arm and a leg."
Adam says, "Aw what, that s**...! What can I get for a rib?"
Adam's in the Garden of Eden with God.
God begins to notice that lately Adam has seemed morose while naming the animals. He notices that all of the animals stick together well, but that Adam is kind of a loner and realizes that he must be lonely.
One day God tells Adam that he has a proposition for him. "Look, Adam," God begins, "I've been noticing that you seem lonely. I've been giving it some thought and I've decided that I'm willing to make for you the perfect companion. She'll be attentive, caring, intelligent, and s**... arousing. There's one catch though: she'll cost you an arm and a leg. Now, I'll give you one night to think it over."
So Adam sleeps on it and returns in the morning to give God his verdict. "Well," God asks, "what've you decided?" "I've given it some thought," Adam replies, "and I was wondering what I could get for a rib?"
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden one day and looking really glum...
So God came down to find out why.
"Adam, I have created a beautiful paradise for you, why are you unhappy?"
"Well God, Eden is great and all, but sometimes I get really lonely. I wish I had a companion of some kind to share this beautiful garden with."
"You're right Adam, you need someone to share the glory of my creation with. I am going to create a companion for you, and I shall call her Woman. She will prepare your meals for you, bathe you, and satisfy all your s**... desires. She will be the perfect companion."
Adam's eyes light up and he says, "That sounds amazing God, what's this gonna cost me?"
"An arm and a leg"
"What can I get for a rib?"
And the rest is history...
So Adam is sitting in the Garden of Eden...
... and he says, "God, I see that all of the other animals that you have created in this truly perfect world have a companion, a partner, someone to be with, share life with, and to love. Why is it that I am alone?" God pauses for a moment, and says "You know Adam, I'll work on that. Be patient, my son, I shall return to you in a week's time."
God labors for a week as only a being of such incredible omnipotence can labor, and after much exhausting work, he returns to Adam after a week has passed and reveals to him his creation.
Adam is speechless. After much gaping, he finally finds the words to say "God, she is beautiful, she is truly your most perfect creation. I must ask though, what will this cost me, for surely this cannot be free."
God says soberly "My son. I confess, to have a being of such beauty and grace, you must give me an arm and a leg. I can accept no other payment."
Adam weighs this for a moment, and then says, "How much can I get for a rib?"
Adam's companion.
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called "woman."
God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give love and compassion whenever needed."
Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"
God said, "An arm and a leg."
Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"
God sees Adam in the Garden of Eden...
...and asks him how things are going with him and Eve. "Great!" Says Adam. "We just finished having s**...! s**... is wonderful!" God asks, "Speaking of Eve, where is she?". To that Adam Replies "Oh, she's down at the beach washing up." God is furious. "WHAT? NOW I'LL NEVER GET THAT SMELL OFF OF THE FISH!"
Adam is feeling a bit lonely in the garden of eden
So one day he asks God for a companion. God thinks about this for a little while and finally comes back to Adam and says "I've got the perfect bride for you. She cooks, cleans, does whatever you ask and is gorgeous to boot." Adam looks up and says "Thats amazing! What do I have to do for such a wonderful woman?" God replies "Unfortunately it won't be cheap, it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg" Adam thinks about this for a second and says "Thats a little steep God, what can I get for a rib?"
Adam felt sad and lonely in the Garden of Eden
"What is wrong, my child?" asked God.
"Lord, I am lonely," relplied Adam, "I wish I had a companion."
"Well, I've got just the one for you," said God. "She's perfect! She is lithe and youthful, and shall always remain so. She utters beauty when she speaks, and she listens with attention and compassion. She will desire you as much as you desire her. Adam, she's literally made for you."
"Wow, God, she sounds amazing! But what will this cost me?" Adam asked.
"An arm and a leg, Adam," replied God, "an arm and a leg."
Adam though for a moment and said, "Well, what can I get for just a rib?"
An oldie, but goodie.
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
I'm lonely," Adam told God in the Garden of Eden...
I'm lonely," Adam told God in the Garden of Eden. "I need to have someone around for company." "Okay," replied God. "I'll give you the perfect companion. She is beautiful, intelligent and gracious-she'll cook and clean for you and never say a cross word." "Sounds great," Adam said. "But what's she going to cost?" "An arm and a leg" answered God. "That's pretty steep, " replied Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"
The Oldest Profession
A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest.
In the course of their arguments, they went all the way back to the Garden of Eden. The doctor said, "The medical profession is clearly the oldest because Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was an incredible surgical feat."
The architect did not agree. He said, "But if you look at the Garden itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that, the Garden and the world were created. So God must have been an architect."
The computer scientist, who had listened to all of this said, "Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"
Three nuns arrive at the gates of Heaven...
St Peter is there to meet them and explains that before they can enter, they each need to answer a question.
He turns to the first nun and asks her "What was the name of the first woman on Earth?"
The first nun immediately answers "Eve!"
"Congratulations!" says St Peter, "You're in!"
St Peter then turns to the second nun and asks her "Where did Eve live?"
The second nun immediately answers "Garden of Eden!"
"Congratulations!" says St Peter, "You're in!"
Finally, St Peter turns to the third nun, who happens to be the Mother Superior.
"Now, since you're the Mother Superior," he says, "your question has to be a little more tricky. What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?"
"Ooh..." says the third nun, "That's a hard one..."
"Congratulations! You're in!"
God's perfect woman
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion.
God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and she will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and she will freely give love and compassion whenever needed."
Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"
Lost Chapter In Genesis
Adam had been moping around all day in the Garden of Eden and God finally said, "Adam, what's up with all this moping?"
Adam told God that he was lonely. God said He could fix that, no problem.
In short order he could make a partner for Adam, and she would be called a "woman."
God told Adam that the woman would collect his food, cook it for him, and care for all his needs and wants. She would also agree with all his decisions and not question his authority as head of the family.
God also said that she would bear his offspring and and not bother him in the middle of the night if the kids woke up and started crying.
She would never nag him and would admit when she was wrong. She would also freely give him love and passion whenever he needed it.
Adam said, "Wow, that's a great partner! What is this woman-person going to cost me?"
And God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Adam thought for a minute, then asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
And the rest is history.
The Garden of Eden
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're n**..., and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."
God went to the Garden of Eden to visit Adam and Eve...
... and found Adam sitting under a tree, relaxing.
"How's everything?" asked God.
"Good, thank you! This place is great!" said Adam.
"Where's Eve?" asked God, looking around.
"Well, we just had s**..., and it was great," said Adam, "and so she went down to the river, to take a bath."
"Oh no, not the river!" said God. "Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish!"
An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve
An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.
The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."
The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British."
The North Korean says, "You two are both missing the point. They have no clothes, no shelter, they only have and apple to eat between them and yet they are being told that they live in paradise. They're clearly North Korean."
Adam's discussion with God
So Adam is walking around the Garden of Eden and he calls out to God that he's kinda bored and lonely. He asks God if he can create someone who is kind and admires and serves him(Adam) in every way. God responds He can, but it's going to cost an arm and a leg, so Adam asks what he can get for a rib.
A Catholic Priest told this joke at a Wedding.
Adam woke up in the Garden of Eden. After a while of wandering around he became sad. God came to him and asked "Adam, why are you sad? I have created this amazing garden for you." Adam replies, "Why does every other being have mate and I do not?" God replies " Very well I will create for you a perfect mate. But it will cost you an arm and a leg." Adam thinks for a bit and then replies "What can I get for a rib?"
The creation of the woman.
When Adam roamed the garden of Eden, he saw how happy all the pairs of animals were, and he craved a partner. He prayed all day and all night, and in the end god answered his pleads and replied.
"Adam, what are you praying for?"
"Oh almighty god! I have seen the bliss of the animals of the land and wish for a partner! I want her to be beautiful like no other, smarter almost as you, loving, caring and passionate. She should be delicate and graceful like a swan, yet swift and nimble like a fox."
"You know Adam, that's gonna cost you an arm and a leg"
Adam pauses a moment to think before replying,
"What can I get for a rib?"
Adam and Eve were wandering on the Garden of Eden
They were walking with their makeshift clothes, since they already tasted the Forbidden Fruit and realized they were n**....
Soon, God shows up, and realize they disobeyed his only rule so far.
Mad and with His thunderous voice, He yells at them:
"**WHY, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!? WAS ALL THE OTHER FRUITS OF THIS GARDEN NOT ENOUGH? WHY ARE YOU WEARING THOSE CLOTHES!?** "
Scared and surprised, Adam looks at Eve and realizes that there's no use lying. Shaking and with his tremble voice, he answers the implacable deity:
"We-- We've just-- *We just updated our privacy policy*"
Adam is in the Garden of Eden...
Adam is in the Garden of Eden when he finds himself quite lonely.
He calls upon God, and asks him "Lord almighty, may you find me company here?"
God, in his infinite kindness, responds "Of course my child, I shall create a being to accompany you. The being will be beautiful, intelligent, caring, calm, and loving. The being shall satisfy you in every way and you two shall find love and be truly happy with one another.
Ecstatic, Adam says "Thank you Lord! What will it cost me?"
God replies "Your left arm and leg."
Adam ponders for a minute and replies- "What can I get for a rib?"
A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.
The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're n**..., so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? ...They're clearly Russian!"
(Whole thing done in thick fake accents)
God is in Heaven and looks down on the Garden of Eden...
... and he sees Adam and Eve being more intimate than he'd planned.
So God rushes down as fast as he can and catches up with Adam and reprimands him.
What do you think you're doing? You're both supposed to remain pure!
Adam looks down, embarrassed and God soon notices that Eve is nowhere to be seen.
Wait a minute. Adam, where's Eve?
Oh well... she's in the ocean... washing up.
God facepalms and exclaims, d**...! I'll never be able to get the smell out of the fish!
Adam asked God for a partner...
Adam saw that the animals in the Garden of Eden had a companion, and he asked God to make one for Adam, too.
"Ok," God replied, "I can make you a perfect partner. Someone who will stand by you, satisfy you as you satisfy her, build you up as you build up her, and provide the exact compliment to you. But I will need to take one of your eyes, one of your hands, one of your ears, and one of your t**...."
Adam thought about it for a while. Then he asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
Adam was feeling a bit lonely in the garden of Eden
"Hey, God. I'm bored! I'm lonely, I have no one to talk to
The animals are great and all, but I need someone to share all of this with"
"Very well, I shall create for you the perfect companion.
a **woman**!
She will be smart, will make you laugh, she will love you, and you her for eternity.
But you will have to give up a leg and an arm"
"Uhm......
what can you give me for a rib?"
A bricklayer, a gardener and an electrician
A bricklayer, a gardener and an electrician argue about whose job is the oldest
The bricklayer goes first: "You see, we were there already when the pyramids were being built!"
The gardener answers: "True, but we already planted the flowers and trees in the garden of Eden."
To that, the electrician says: "You are right! But when god said 'Let there by light', we already layed the cables!"
Three nuns die and go to Heaven...
At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they must each answer a biblical question to get in, but he reassures them that they're quite easy.
"Who was the first woman?" He says to the first nun.
"Eve." The gates swing open and she walks in.
"Where did Eve live?" He says to the second nun.
"The Garden of Eden." The gates swing open once more.
"Now, seeing as you're the Mother Superior, you must answer a more difficult question, what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?" St. Peter says to the third nun.
"Oh, that's a hard one..."
The gates swing open.
After Adam and Eve arrived in Eden, he stayed out late a few nights wandering the garden.
Eve became suspicious.
Are you running around with another woman? Eve fired off.
What other woman? Adam exclaimed You're it!
That night, Adam was awakened by Eve poking him in the chest.
What are you doing?
Counting your ribs.
A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit.
The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.
The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.
Three Nuns Die And Each Have To Answer A Question From God To Get Into Heaven...
God asks the first Nun, "Who were the first two people?"
She says, "Adam and Eve".
He says, "Okay, you're in."
God asks the second Nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?"
She says, "The Garden of Eden".
He says, "Okay, you're in."
God asks the third Nun, "What was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?"
She says, "Hmm, that's a hard one."
He says, "Okay, you're in."
What kind of car did Jesus drive?
OK. I apologize in advance if you've already seen this one. it's an old joke from the 70's, when there was a gas crisis, and they posted this question on billboards around the South.
So, what's the answer? The answer is that no know knows what Jesus drove, but we know that his Father drove a Plymouth. How do we know? Because it says so right in the Bible. It clearly says that God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.
A Brit, A Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit."They must be British"
They pondered this possibility but the Frenchman and the Russians soon shake their heads in disagreement.
"Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're n**... and so beautiful, clearly they are French". The Brit and Russian agreed on this point but the Russian soon raises an objection to this.
"No clothes, no shelter and they have only an apple to eat but they're told this is Paradise. They are clearly Russian"
God appeared to Adam in the Garden...
God appeared to Adam in the Garden of Eden one morning. While discussing the naming of the animals and such, God noticed Eve wasn't there. God asked Adam, where is Eve my son?
Adam reply's, oh she is down at the river bathing .
God then gasps, Oh no, no, no! I'll never get that smell out of the fish!
A Brit, a French person and a Russian are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
The Brit says, Look, they are so calm and reserved, they must be British.
The French person says, No, look at how beautiful they are, they must be French.
The Russian says, Are you kidding me? They have no clothes and no shelter with only an apple to eat and they're being told they live in paradise. Clearly they're Russian.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art gallery
They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.
"Look at how reserved and calm they are," the Englishman says, "they would definitely be English."
"They are n**... and beautiful, they would have to be French." The Frenchmen counters.
The Russian speaks up, "no clothes, no shelter, no bed, they have only an apple between them, and they're told this is paradise. They are certainly Russian."
We all know the story about Eve eating the apple in the Garden of Eden...
But God also forbade Eve from bathing in the nearby river. One day God came down from heaven to find Eve disregarding his command, washing herself in the river.
God put his hands on his hips and shook his head. "d**...! I'm never going to get that smell out of the fish."
Adam is in the Garden of Eden and is feeling lonely. So he asks God for someone to share his existence with.
God answers of course, I can create a being that will support you no matter what you do, provide for you, and never argue .
Adam is excited and asks that sounds perfect, what will it cost me
An arm and a leg
….what can I get for a rib?
3 nuns go up to heaven...
Three nuns go up to heaven. Peter's at the gates and he tells them they have to answer a question before they can come in. So he says to the first one "what was the name of the first woman?" She says "Eve" and he lets her in. He says to the second one "where did Eve live?" She says "the Garden of Eden" and she too is allowed in. Then he says to the third nun "what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?" She says "oh, that's a hard one", and he says "yeah, you're in…"
"I'm lonely," Adam told God in the Garden of Eden.
"I need to have someone around for company." "Okay," replied God. "I'll give you the perfect companion. She is beautiful, intelligent and gracious, she'll cook and clean for you and never say a cross word." "Sounds great," Adam said. "But what's she going to cost?" "An arm and a leg" answered God. "That's pretty steep," replied Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"
A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.
The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're n**..., so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? They're clearly Russian!"
Adam spoke to God in the Garden of Eden
"I am lonely" said Adam. "I need someone around for company."
"Very well," said God. "I will create a companion for you. One who will obey your every word, do all your chores along with cooking and cleaning for you."
"Wonderful!" said Adam. "What will it take?"
"For you, it will cost an arm and a leg" said God.
"That seems pretty steep" said Adam. "What could I get for just a rib?"