Garden Jokes

190 garden jokes and hilarious garden puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about garden that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you enjoy a good laugh? Check out this collection of garden jokes that will have you laughing at the Garden of Eden, Garden Gnome, Garden Hoe, Garden Centre, Garden Path, Garden Shed, Garden Gate, Garden Weed, Garden Club and the act of Fertilizing. Brighten up your day and the day of your neighbour gardener with these funny garden jokes!

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Short Garden Jokes
Garden One Liners
Garden Of Eden Jokes
Garden Hoe Jokes
Vegetable Garden Jokes
Olive Garden Jokes
Garden Gnome Jokes
More Garden Jokes

Best Short Garden Jokes

Short garden puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The garden humour may include short lawn jokes also.

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have? I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March and I've grown significantly since.
In order to make a relationship work, you have to make a lot of sacrifices…. Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden…
I was digging in the garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run inside and tell my wife. But then I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden.
I told my wife that what she's wearing isn't appropriate for gardening. But..she's digging in her heels.
Roses are red Roses are red.
Violets are....red

Tulips are red
My garden is on fire.
Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin agreed to take care of each other's gardens. This means Roger Waters Robert's Plants.
My mom said she's going to dig a hole in the garden and fill it full of water.... ....she means well
My five year old just told me this one... Why did the snowman go to the vegetable garden?
So he could go pick his nose.
"Where's your mother in law?" - "She's in the garden."
- "Where? I can't see her."
- "You have to dig a little."

Garden joke, "Where's your mother in law?"

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about garden can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of garden puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Garden One Liners

Which garden one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with garden? I can suggest the ones about yards and backyard.

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
I accused my wife of adding dirt to the garden. She denied it. The plot thickens.
Some more dirt was mysteriously added to my garden last night... The plot thickens
Why'd the gardener get banned from the hospital? He kept watering the vegetables.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? A seizure salad.
Some mystery person keeps adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Bushes are red,
Trees are red,
My garden is on fire.
Where would man be without a woman? In the garden of Eden.
Just saw two birds stuck together in the garden. I think they are velcrows
Why arent There Many jewish gardeners? Because money doesnt grow on trees
Roses are dead, violets are dead And I'm a bad gardener
A developer tried to pull weeds out of his garden... ...but he didn't have root access.
What do you call a gay garden party? An LGBBQ
I knew someone had added dirt to my garden. And so, the plot thickens
I bought a new set of Electric Garden Trimmers. They're cutting-hedge technology.

Garden Of Eden Jokes

Here is a list of funny garden of eden jokes and even better garden of eden puns that will make you laugh with friends.

I'm tired of hearing men talk about how women make their lives more difficult. Just think about where men would be without women... Still in the Garden of Eden.
In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore? A hole in it.
Did you know the first baseball game was held in the Garden of Eden? Eve stole first, Adam stole second, and Abel struck out.
When was the first computer made? The Garden of Eden...
Apple...
It had one byte.
How do you know God was a MOPAR man? It says in the Bible he drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a fury
How do we know that God was a Mopar man? He drove Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden in his Fury.
What fruit caused Adam to leave the Garden of Eden? Man go.
Don't be foolish, the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was obviously not an apple. It was an orange. Haven't you heard of oranginal sin?
What does Jesus drive? Adam and Eve out of the Eden garden.
Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden Adam and Eve are in the garden of Eden, and Adam says to Eve, "Stand back! I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!"

Garden Hoe Jokes

Here is a list of funny garden hoe jokes and even better garden hoe puns that will make you laugh with friends.

I saw my neighbor's wife hoeing around Her garden really is coming along well.
What does a p**... gnome use to make his money? The garden h**....
What's the best part about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your h**....
What do a serial killer and a prolific gardener have in common? Both of their sheds are filled with h**....
I have a gardening tool that I use to dig up large amounts of treasure So yeah, I got a big b**... h**...
Based on a true story: I was carrying back gardening tools to the shed and dropped one. My wife yells from behind me. "Yee haw, it's a h**... down"
What does Santa say when gardening? h**... h**... h**....
My wife would always nag me to do the gardening.. Eventually I had to put that h**... in the ground.
What does Snoop Dogg keep in his backyard? His garden h**....
What does Santa do in his garden? h**..., h**..., h**...!

Vegetable Garden Jokes

Here is a list of funny vegetable garden jokes and even better vegetable garden puns that will make you laugh with friends.

What do you call a ward full of coma patients A vegetable garden.
What did the vegetables say at the garden party? Lettuce turnip the beet
Came up with this one when I was 10: what do you get when you cross an elephant and a snail? I don't know either, but it sure won't be good for your vegetable garden.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people A vegetable garden
What's the difference between a bag that you take onto an airplane and the vegetables grown in Bilbo's garden? One is cabin baggage, the other is Baggin's cabbage.
Grave diggers are like gardeners They plant vegetables
What is it called when a person in a coma is surrounded by flowers? A vegetable garden
What do you get when weeds start growing in a vegetable garden? Baked potatoes.
Why was there a gardener on duty at Steven Hawking's burial? They needed help planting the vegetable.
Which one is the most regretful vegetable in the garden? The rue-barb.

Olive Garden Jokes

Here is a list of funny olive garden jokes and even better olive garden puns that will make you laugh with friends.

What's the most popular first date spot in Alabama? Olive Garden: when you're here, you're family.
Why did the Alabama man only sleep with waitresses from Olive Garden? Because when you're there, you're family.
Olive Garden really does treat you like family... My waiter left to go buy a pack cigarettes, and he still hasn't come back yet. 😢
What do you call a Ghost without any Boo's? SOBER!
Note: (am Dad) I told this joke to my kids at Olive Garden last night, and an old lady made sure to let me know how corny it was
Coronavirus really changed my Tour of Italy... ... the waitress at Olive Garden had to bring it out to my car.
Where do West Virginians go for Blind Dates? Olive Garden..when you're here you're family.
The Olive Garden should sponsor The Fast and Furious franchise. Because when you are there, you are Family.
How do you say McDonalds in Italian? Olive Garden
I realized today that I really only have two options when it comes to a career path. I'm going to end up in jail or working at Olive Garden. Either way endless salads are getting tossed.
Me:I got removed from Olive Garden for eating too many breadsticks. Friend:How many did you eat? Me:Olive them

Garden Gnome Jokes

Here is a list of funny garden gnome jokes and even better garden gnome puns that will make you laugh with friends.

TIL that Garden Gnomes are a symbol of good luck. It's a little gnome fact.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats? It's a little gnome fact.
Almost all garden gnomes have red hats. It's a little gnome fact.
I found an extra-terrestrial in my garden. He was sat next to the pond, wearing a red pointy hat. It was E.T. - faux gnome
If your garden gets nuked. Does it become a Gnome man's land?
Most garden statuary is only 30cm tall and wears red hats. It's a little gnome fact.
I was cleaning one of my garden statues and accidentally cracked part of its face I guess you could say I don't gnome eye own strength
I saw a garden elf On the subway today muttering to himself click.... click.... click.... click....
He was a metro gnome.
Where does a Communist Garden Gnome work? At the Russian Troll Farm.
What do you call a punctual urban garden gnome? A metrognome.

Garden joke, What do you call a punctual urban garden gnome?

Comedy Garden Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What funny jokes about garden you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean plant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make garden prank.

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."

Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."

[garden of eden]

**Snake:** Pssst! want an apple?
**Eve:** No thanks, I do not sin.
**Snake:** What's the length of the opposite side of a 30° right triangle with a hypotenuse of 20?
**Eve:** 10
**Snake:** Thanksss
**Adam:** How did you calculate that?
**Eve:** Oh no.

Gardens (only clean joke I know)

Why don't you tell secrets in a garden?
Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Soviet Russian

are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit."
The Englishman replies with, "Clearly they're English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."
The Russian then notes, "They are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."

Adam's new wife

Adam had been in the garden of Eden for several years without someone to share his life with. One day, he asked God for a companion.
God said to him, "I can give you a wife that will be everything you could dream of. Humble and submissive, she will make your life nothing but pleasurable. However, to make her I'll need an arm and a leg."
Adam says, "Aw what, that s**...! What can I get for a rib?"

What did the garden say when he liked the music?

LETTUCE. TURNIP. THE BEET!

So Adam is sitting in the Garden of Eden...

... and he says, "God, I see that all of the other animals that you have created in this truly perfect world have a companion, a partner, someone to be with, share life with, and to love. Why is it that I am alone?" God pauses for a moment, and says "You know Adam, I'll work on that. Be patient, my son, I shall return to you in a week's time."
God labors for a week as only a being of such incredible omnipotence can labor, and after much exhausting work, he returns to Adam after a week has passed and reveals to him his creation.
Adam is speechless. After much gaping, he finally finds the words to say "God, she is beautiful, she is truly your most perfect creation. I must ask though, what will this cost me, for surely this cannot be free."
God says soberly "My son. I confess, to have a being of such beauty and grace, you must give me an arm and a leg. I can accept no other payment."
Adam weighs this for a moment, and then says, "How much can I get for a rib?"

SEO Expert walks into a bar...

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, hangout, lounge, night club, mini bar, tavern, pub, beer, wine, whiskey...

There's an old Italian man

There's an old Italian man, and every year, he and his son plant a tomato garden together. This particular year, however, the son is in jail, and so the old man writes him a letter.
"My son, it is regrettable that you can't be here to plant the tomato garden with me this year. The soil is too hard for me to dig myself. I look forward to the day you come home so we can continue this tradition together."
The son writes back, "Father, don't dig up the tomato garden, that's where the bodies are buried."
That night around 2 AM, the police show up at the old man's house with a warrant to search the ground for bodies. After several hours of digging around, they find nothing, apologize to the man, and go on their way.
The next day, the man receives another letter from his son, "Father, given the circumstances, this was the best I could do. You should be able to plant the tomatoes now."

Cats and ladders

A fire-fighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a fire-fighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The fire-fighter walked over to take a closer look.
"That sure is a nice fire truck," he said with admiration.
"Thanks," the girl replied. The fire-fighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's t**....
"Little partner," the fire-fighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

God sees Adam in the Garden of Eden...

...and asks him how things are going with him and Eve. "Great!" Says Adam. "We just finished having s**...! s**... is wonderful!" God asks, "Speaking of Eve, where is she?". To that Adam Replies "Oh, she's down at the beach washing up." God is furious. "WHAT? NOW I'LL NEVER GET THAT SMELL OFF OF THE FISH!"

Typical Johnny

Teacher asks the class if they can think of a sentence with the word 'contagious' in it.
After a long pause little Johnny puts his hand up. "yes Johnny, give it a go"
I was in the car with my dad and we were driving past one of our neighbours who was painting his garden fence with a toothbrush. My dad said "it's going to take that contagious to finish that"

A farmer has a new handsome assistant

A farmer has a new handsome assistant. One morning they want to go out into the fields to work. At the garden gate the farmer sees that the roads are muddy and realizes that he forgot his rubber boots (Wellingtons for the Brits ;)
He tells his assistant to go get the boots from the house. The assistant returns and finds the farmers very pretty wife, along with the equally pretty daughter sitting in the kitchen. He tells them: "The farmer just said it would be alright if I had s**... with you right now!" The women look sceptical, so the assistant opens the window and shouts to the farmer: "Both?"
Farmer: "Of course both of them, what do you think?!"

Twelve Italian priests...

...were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally n**..., in a garden while a s**..., beautiful, big breasted, n**... model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his manhood, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
As he bent over to pick it up… all the other bells started to ring!

Home safety

I took my name off the Neighborhood Watch List.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, and multiple intelligence services are watching my house 24/7.
I've never felt safer in my entire Life!

What do you call someone with a spice garden on Gallifrey?

A Thyme Lord.

A man was arrested for having s**... inside a West Virginian Olive Garden with an employee.

Apparently he took "When you're here, you're family" too literally.

An elephant escaped from the circus...

...and ended up in a little old lady's back garden. The lady had never seen an elephant before, so she rang the police.
"Please come quickly," she said to the policeman who answered the phone. "There's a strange looking animal in my garden picking up cabbages with its tail."
"What's it doing with them?" asked the policeman.
"If I told you," said the old lady, "you'd never beleive me!"

Potato Patch

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Fred, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES! Love, Fred
At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Fred

Comedian Lee Nelson threw money at Sepp Blatter at a FIFA conference as a protest.

It backfired as he now has to host the 2026 World Cup in his back garden.

What was Eve charged with after murdering Adam in the Garden?

Being a first-person shooter

The Garden of Eden

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're n**..., and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."

I asked my dad who the favourite child was.

"Ask your brother," he replied.
"Where is he?" I asked.
He said, "Buried in the garden."

After my grandfather's f**......

I scattered his remains all over my back garden.
Which was horrible, because he hadn't been cremated.

What did the gardener say to the man in the grass shoes?

WATER THOOOOSE

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.
The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."
The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British."
The North Korean says, "You two are both missing the point. They have no clothes, no shelter, they only have and apple to eat between them and yet they are being told that they live in paradise. They're clearly North Korean."

A Beautiful Woman Loves Growing Tomatoes

A beautiful woman loves to garden, but can't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. She asks her neighbor, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?" He replies, "Twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much. "The woman decides to do the same thing. So twice a day for two weeks she exposes herself to the garden. Her neighbor asks, "How did it go? Did you tomatoes turn red?" "No," she replies, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

Two baloons meet each other in a garden shop...

The first one says to the other:
Don't go that way, there's a cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

One day John looks over the fence and spies Sam's wife, n**..., watering the garden.

When Sam gets home from work, John brags to him that he's seen his wife n**....
Sam wants revenge, so that night creeps over to John's yard and catches sight of John's wife performing o**... s**....
The next day, Sam approaches John at the mailbox. "Hey, I saw your wife performing o**... s**... on you last night."
"Ha ha, the joke's on you," John says, "I wasn't home last night!"

Yesterday I took l**... and I wrestled with a grass snake for three hours.

On a side note, our garden hose is completely wrecked.

A man went to water his garden...

He didn't have a hose or a watering can, so he improvised by filling a bucket with water and throwing it all over the garden. However, when he did so, the water only landed on every other plant.
Shocked, the man threw his arms up in the air and shouted "water the odds!?"

I was shocked to find my son having s**... with our dog in the garden.

I had no idea our dog was gay.

Why was the gardener embarrassed?

He wet his plants in front of everyone

Jesus Christ turned water into wine and got worshiped by millions.

I turned w**... into cookies and now I have to wash dishes at an Olive Garden to pay rent.

One of my neighbours has stopped talking to me after I accused him of stealing from my back garden...

...I think he took a fence.

100 nuns are in a prayer session.

After the session ends, the head nun stands up and addresses the nuns.
"There was a man in the convent last night," she says.
99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"We found a c**... in the garden," the head nun continues.
Again, 99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"There was a hole in that c**...."
99 nuns chuckle, while one gasps.

A boy with swollen cheek.

Mom looks at her son and asks "What happened Timmy?".
Tim replies "A fly landed on my face in the garden.".
"Did it bite you?" asks mom.
"No, dad killed it with a shovel." says Tim.

When it's sunny, I think, "beer garden!"

When it rains, I usually go to the bar for a while.
When it's snowing, I like to sit in front of the TV with a case of beer.
I'm starting to think I have a problem with the weather…

A group of monks have an encounter with the almighty while tending their flower garden.

The experience so transforms them that they decide to form a new order, with a monastery, dedicated to growing flowers as a form of worship. Two years into the venture they realize that they are running out of funds and decide to begin selling some of their flowers as a way to raise funds to support their ministry and their way of life. Unfortunately a sheep from a nearby farm wandered into the monastery and quickly consumed all of their prize flowers.
It turns out only a ewe can prevent florist friars.

A feminist has just stolen my garden gate

I was going to shout at her but I thought she might take a fence

My window cleaner caught me m**... today. It was awkward.

Maybe I shouldn't have been standing in his garden.

How do you turn a garden salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it a bunch of times.

What's Irish and sits in your garden?

p**... O' Furniture

Little Nancy, 8, was filling a hole in her garden when

the nosey neighbor peered over the fence, and asked "What are you doing?"
Nancy replied, "Well my goldfish dies so I just buried him"
The obnoxious neighbor laughed and said in a condescending tone, "That is an awful big hole for a tiny gold fish"
As Nancy used her shovel to pat down the last heap of earth she replied, "Well he's in your cat"

My wife just set up her beehives in the garden

I think she's a keeper

A Couple having s**... in the garden at night....

He says "I wish i had a torch" she says "So do I, you've been l**... that slug on the grass for the last ten minutes"

What does a garden and a woman on h**... have in common?

They both grow vegetables when someone plants a seed in them.

When I do the gardening, I alphabetise my herbs, people often ask how I find the time.

I respond with "Easy, Thyme is right between the Tarragon and Turmeric"

For years, I've suspected my wife of adding soil to my garden and when I asked her about it, she just giggled and shrugged...

The plot thickens...

Trump wakes up, goes to the garden and starts picking up random rocks...

He picks a rock, carefuly examines it from from all sides, carefully puts it back and then goes to find another one. After this has been going on for a couple of days, his cabinet starts to get nervous, so Pence calls Putin to see if he can help them.
"Hey Vlad! It's Mike. Listen, we have a little problem..."
He describes the situation and Putin promises to look into it. After a few minutes Putin calls back.
"He should be fine now. It was our fault, sorry. We accidetnally sent him instructions meant for our lunar lander."

The lady who had crashed her SUV complained to the Police that the man she collided with was on his mobile and drinking beer from a bottle at the time.

The Police said that the gentleman was entitled to do what ever he wanted in his own garden!

The Queen hosts a garden party in Scotland.

The Scottish waiter arrives carrying a tray with many cakes on it. Queen asks, Is that a scone, or a meringue?
The waiter replies: Naw, yer quite right, that's a scone.

Don't tell secrets in the garden:

The potatoes have eyes
The corn has ears
And the beanstalk.

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins

Excited, I was about to run indoors to tell the wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in the garden...

I was digging up our garden when I found a box full of old rare coins. I was really excited so I ran inside to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I was digging up our garden.

Three nuns die and go to Heaven...

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they must each answer a biblical question to get in, but he reassures them that they're quite easy.
"Who was the first woman?" He says to the first nun.
"Eve." The gates swing open and she walks in.
"Where did Eve live?" He says to the second nun.
"The Garden of Eden." The gates swing open once more.
"Now, seeing as you're the Mother Superior, you must answer a more difficult question, what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?" St. Peter says to the third nun.
"Oh, that's a hard one..."
The gates swing open.

I went to see my mate Bruce today and asked his wife where he was.

She said he's out the back in the garden. I had a quick look but couldn't see him so went to ask his wife again.
She said, he's out there, you just have to dig a little deeper .

A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit.

The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.

The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.

Little 8-year-old Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was doing, he asked: What are you doing there, Nancy?

My goldfish died, Nancy sobbed. And I've just buried him.
The obnoxious neighbour laughed and said condescendingly: That's a really big hole for a little goldfish, don't you think?
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth with her shovel and replied: That's because he's inside your cat.

A Gnome.

A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy.
I just love mischief!
And what, may I ask, creature are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says,
"I guess I'm a gnome."

Three Nuns Die And Each Have To Answer A Question From God To Get Into Heaven...

God asks the first Nun, "Who were the first two people?"
She says, "Adam and Eve".
He says, "Okay, you're in."
God asks the second Nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?"
She says, "The Garden of Eden".
He says, "Okay, you're in."
God asks the third Nun, "What was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?"
She says, "Hmm, that's a hard one."
He says, "Okay, you're in."

My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.

Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.
That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids are hysterical."
"Sorry to hear that" I replied nervously.
"The strange thing is" he said "we buried it a couple of days ago."

Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have ?

I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since

Someone keeps adding soil to my garden!

The plot thickens

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these garden jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.