Garden Fence Jokes
26 garden fence jokes and hilarious garden fence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about garden fence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Garden Fence Short Jokes
Short garden fence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The garden fence humour may include short garden fencing jokes also.
- One of my neighbours has stopped talking to me after I accused him of stealing from my back garden... ...I think he took a fence.
- A feminist has just stolen my garden gate I was going to shout at her but I thought she might take a fence
- I heard a burglar in my back garden I wanted to go out and confront him but I didn't want him to take a fence
- There were five distinctive wet little thuds against the garden fence.... That told me mowing the lawn in my flip flops may not have been a great idea.
- The neighbours dog has jumped up into my garden so much that he's totally destroyed the fence. Figured here's the best place to get it fixed as everyone is a certified reposter.
- Two men break into a Garden Centre [OC] When a security guard started shouting insults at them.
One of them took a fence - I can't decide whether or not to get my garden refurbished Guess you could say I'm on the fence
- What's the difference What's the difference between renovation a garden and Trump's wearied VP?
One's painting fences, the other is fainting Pences.
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Garden Fence One Liners
Which garden fence one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with garden fence? I can suggest the ones about fence and garden gate.
- Just put an electric fence around my garden.. My neighbor is dead against it.
- I've put an electric fence around my garden. The neighbours are dead against it.
- What is long, brown and runs around the garden? A fence.
- I just saw someone stealing a garden gate! I didn't say anything in case he took a fence.
Garden Fence Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about garden fence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean broken fence jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make garden fence pranks.
Little 8-year-old Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was doing, he asked: What are you doing there, Nancy?
My goldfish died, Nancy sobbed. And I've just buried him.
The obnoxious neighbour laughed and said condescendingly: That's a really big hole for a little goldfish, don't you think?
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth with her shovel and replied: That's because he's inside your cat.
Typical Johnny
Teacher asks the class if they can think of a sentence with the word 'contagious' in it.
After a long pause little Johnny puts his hand up. "yes Johnny, give it a go"
I was in the car with my dad and we were driving past one of our neighbours who was painting his garden fence with a toothbrush. My dad said "it's going to take that contagious to finish that"
Peeing in the Flowers...
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'Why not make the best of it?'"
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes!'"
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."
One day John looks over the fence and spies Sam's wife, n**..., watering the garden.
When Sam gets home from work, John brags to him that he's seen his wife n**....
Sam wants revenge, so that night creeps over to John's yard and catches sight of John's wife performing o**... s**....
The next day, Sam approaches John at the mailbox. "Hey, I saw your wife performing o**... s**... on you last night."
"Ha ha, the joke's on you," John says, "I wasn't home last night!"
Little Nancy, 8, was filling a hole in her garden when
the nosey neighbor peered over the fence, and asked "What are you doing?"
Nancy replied, "Well my goldfish dies so I just buried him"
The obnoxious neighbor laughed and said in a condescending tone, "That is an awful big hole for a tiny gold fish"
As Nancy used her shovel to pat down the last heap of earth she replied, "Well he's in your cat"
Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Johnny?"
"Well, my goldfish died," replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied... "That's because he's inside your cat!"
My best friend went to prison because he kept stealing things from people's gardens. He was just released but my wife told me not to invite him to our BBQ next week.
I feel a bit bad. I hope he doesn't take a fence.
Cohn ist painting the fence of his garden on Shabbat...
Along comes Goldstein.
"But... Cohn.... Painting your fence on Shabbat? "
"Oh, I asked the rabbi".
"Okay.. then... Shabbat Shalom."
Along comes Greenbaum
"No... Cohn.... You really can't paint your fence on Shabbat."
"Oh, I asked the rabbi".
"Okay.. then... Shabbat Shalom."
Along comes Feynman
"Cohn... how dare you. Painting your fence on Shabbat?"
"Oh, I asked the rabbi".
"And? What did the rabbi say?"
"He said it's not allowed."
"AND?"
"Nu... who listens to him...?"
Mr. Brown was working in his garden when on the other side of the fence, he heard his neighbor crying. Mr. Brown popped his head over the fence and asked, "What's the matter Mary? What has upset you?" The blonde neighbor replied, "My dog has died and I'm going to bury it here." Mr. Brown said, "You only have one dog, so why have you dug three holes?" She answered, "The first two were too small."
Talking over the fence
My wife Julie was talking over the garden fence to our neighbor Betty.
"Hi Betty, how are things, how are you finding all this lock down stuff?"
"It's OK, bit strange having Jim around the house so much."
"I can imagine, I saw him coming home this morning from the store, he had a big bunch of flowers with him."
Betty went quiet, her cheeks reddening.
"What's the matter Betty, did i say something wrong?"
"No. It's just when he buys me flowers I have to go upstairs, take all my clothes off and lay on the bed with my legs open."
"Why?, don't you have any vases in your house."