The Best 43 Gard Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Gard jokes. There are some gard georges jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gard cell puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Gard Jokes and Puns

[garden of eden]

**Snake:** Pssst! want an apple?

**Eve:** No thanks, I do not sin.

**Snake:** What's the length of the opposite side of a 30° right triangle with a hypotenuse of 20?

**Eve:** 10

**Snake:** Thanksss

**Adam:** How did you calculate that?

**Eve:** Oh no.

Gardens (only clean joke I know)

Why don't you tell secrets in a garden?

Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk.

What did the garden say when he liked the music?


Gard joke, What did the garden say when he liked the music?

ANOTHER nun sat outside a bar in Ireland...

Sipping from a bottle of whiskey, and quite inebriated, when the local Gard walks past.

"Sister Mary", he asks "what in God's name are you doing?!"

"Not to worry, sergeant. I'm trying to *hic* cure the Mother Superior's constipation."

"And how is you being in this state going to help the Mother Superior with her constipation exactly?!"

"Cos when she sees me like this", Sister Mary replied, "she'll be shittin a brick!"

While gardening, I accidently unearthed a tulip bulb.

"Whoops." I said "Sorry bud."

I spent alot of my days trying to grow a specific seasoning in my garden

it took forever, but once it finally produced, i had the thyme of my life.

Why are gardeners the best pimps?

Because they are well versed in whorticulture

Gard joke, Why are gardeners the best pimps?

The Garden of Eden

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."

Why do gardeners make horrible cops?

Because they keep planting evidence.

I have a gardening tool that I use to dig up large amounts of treasure

So yeah, I got a big booty hoe

My gardener is completely incompetent

He keeps soiling himself

You can explore gard scandanavian reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gard joseph dad jokes. There are also gard puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the gardener say to the man in the grass shoes?


In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore?

A hole in it.

My Garden Statue Called In Sick Today

He has Gnome-onia.

Why are gardeners better problem solvers than politicians

Because gardeners really get to the root of the problem.

Why was the gardener embarrassed?

He wet his plants in front of everyone

Gard joke, Why was the gardener embarrassed?

I was outside in my garden when a guy walked to me and started insulting me, so I roasted him in front of everyone.

He tasted really good with fries.

Why do gardeners hand out their herbs?

To pass the thyme.

A gardener found unwanted scallions growing in with his crops

His garden sprung a leek.

Why do gardeners like to wear diapers?

In case they get soiled

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus Christ saw every sin imaginable...

Meaning he saw some dude blasting rope to Waluigi hentai and still decided to save humanity. What a absolute legend.

Why are the gardens of Pyongyang so immaculate?

Because they have a supreme weeder.

Gardeners say manure is great for tomatoes...

But I think it ruins the sandwich

Why was there a gardener on duty at Steven Hawking's burial?

They needed help planting the vegetable.

What does a garden and a woman on heroin have in common?

They both grow vegetables when someone plants a seed in them.

The Gardai in Ireland are worried about diversity and are setting up a division consisting solely of black people.

They're called 'The Blaggards'

When I do the gardening, I alphabetise my herbs, people often ask how I find the time.

I respond with "Easy, Thyme is right between the Tarragon and Turmeric"

Why does a Gardener make a decent Pimp?

They have experience dragging hoes outa beds

Why did the gardener feel naked when he went on vacation?

Because he didn't have any plants.

I saw a garden elf

On the subway today muttering to himself click.... click.... click.... click....

He was a metro gnome.

How is a gardener like professor Henry Higgins?

they both have a horticulture.

As a gardener nothing makes me more excited then when my plants first sprout

I guess that makes me a petalphile

Garden shears will never be outdated.

After all, it's cutting-hedge technology.

A garden gnome is busy destroying plants when suddenly a house cat appears.

What are you? asks the cat. I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans. I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, are you? The cat thinks for a moment and says, I guess i'm a gnome.

Why was the gardener so embarrassed?

Because he wet his plants

How do you ask a Gardner out?

Water your plants?

I was in the garden section of the hardware store and some guy asked me if I wanted decking.

Luckily I got the first punch in.

I was doing some gardening the other day, when I found some gold coins

I was about to run straight home and tell my wife, then I remembered why i was digging in our garden.

Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have ?

I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since

Why'd the gardener get banned from the hospital?

He kept watering the vegetables.

Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?

I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March and I've grown significantly since.

Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?

It's a little gnome fact.

I was in the garden one day when I saw a frisbee coming towards me, and I was wondering why it was getting bigger

And then it hit me

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gard garden jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gard bars piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes